The Speech I Couldn't Speak...
So many things I wanted to say at the memorial service... but I didn't, so I'll say it now...
*~Ruby Louise Boykin~*
Beloved Daughter, Sister, Teacher, Wife, Mother, and Nana.
And a true Proverbs 31
November 22, 1915 - December 31, 2004
"I read of a reverend who stood to speak
At the funeral of his friend.
He referred to the date on her tombstone
From the beginning... to the end.
He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke of the date with tears
but he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth,
And now only those who loved her know
What that little line is worth.
For it matters not how much we own;
The cars, the house, the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash."
- portion of the poem "The Dash" by Lynda Ellis
Brother Jerry had asked if anyone had anything they would like to share about my Nana at her memorial service. I couldn’t muster the courage to walk up there and speak then, but if I had, this is what I would have said.
So many things I remember about my Nana. Most of my memories from a small child are with her.
She did so many things. She loved to teach. She started teaching Sunday School when she was 16 years old. She stopped teaching when she was 86. 70 years... She taught the little children, and the youth, and the kids in between. She loved teaching Vacation Bible School. She even taught a class for the senior women in the church. She loved to teach people to memorize the books of the Bible. All the kids she taught learned them. Even the adults! She was such a tool. The people she brought to God... there is no doubt in my mind that there are hundreds... maybe even a thousand. I'm one of them. As is my father. And quite a few people at the church. And the church. South East... the little Baptist church I grew up in. She attended for about 40 years. I always wanted to get married in that little church.
There are so many little things I remember. I remember her teaching me the books of the Bible when I was only 8. Then when I turned 9 we decided to learn them all backwards! That was an experience. And it worked too...
She would always want to know in advance when I was coming to her house so she could walk down the block to Handy Andy and pick up a jar of pickles just for me. I loved that.
I remember we would make ham sandwiches for lunch. Nana's ham sandwiches were my favorite. No matter how hard I would concentrate, no matter how much I imitated her every move to make the sandwich just like her... hers always tasted better. Once I asked her why. "Because there's Nana's love in this sandwich." And she was right. No sandwich would or could ever match.
I remember when I would have nightmares... she would make hot cocoa to "chase the bad dreams with sweetness" and then we would lie back down in her bed and she'd pet me and sing hymns until I fell asleep. Most often she chose Whispering Hope.
She taught me how to sew when I was so little. We made doll clothes and pillows. And sometimes even outfits for me and Shelly. Oh and Bible Trivia night at South East. Everyone wanted to have Nana on their side. She always knew the answers. Nothing could stump her. It even got to the point where she couldn't answer first any more... she was too good.
And of course, who could forget... the thing Nana was most famous for. Her home made rolls. Nana would make excellent yeast rolls. No mater what was going on, a potluck, picnic... she'd always make baskets of those rolls. I remember helping her so many times. I was amazed that so much bread could come from one person. But that was Nana; amazing. She would be so detailed. She'd cut them into circles spread butter inside, fold it over, put some butter on top, and pinch the sides together with her fingers. That is one recipe that I want to keep forever. It'll become a tradition in my family. Every holiday dinner we will have Nana's Rolls. It'll be just like having her here.
She was such a beautiful person. She talked about us all the time. Everyone at South East mentioned "oh how she talked about her grandchildren." It was amazing to see the people I saw at her memorial service. It wasn’t filled with people, but if love was a physical thing, I doubt the walls of the church could have held it. The lyrics "love is in the house, and the house is packed.." comes to mind. Paw Paw was there. Paw Paw Norvell. He and Nana taught my VBS class when I was in grade 3. That was when I adopted him. He didn't ever have that relationship with Nana, but all the same, he became Paw Paw.
He used to give Nana a hug and swoop Shelly and I up, one in each arm, and carry us inside. I'd so often sit in between them in church. I'd listen to Nana sing and then fall asleep on Paw Paw's shoulder. She would wake me up with two words I loved to hear... "Dairy Queen" That was tradition. After every service we’d go to Dairy Queen. Nana would have black coffee and Paw Paw would eat something huge and I would always get a chocolate dipped cone. When I got older I started getting Butterfinger blizzards. We'd stay there for hours. The people that worked there even knew us and knew our "usual" orders. It was my favorite thing on Sundays. I always looked forward to it.
I remember so far back... and I remember even the day before she passed. I spent almost the whole day with her. I talked to her so much that day. I sang hymns that I knew she loved to hear, and read passages from the Bible I knew she'd loved to hear as well. When I sang, she would get quiet, and her breathing would quiet, as if she so wanted to hear the songs. And of course I sang the one she sang to me when I was sick so many times.
"Soft as the voice of an angel, breathing a lesson unheard,
Hope with a gentle persuasion whispers her comforting word:
Wait till the darkness is over, wait till the tempest is done,
Hope for the sunshine tomorrow, after the shower is gone.
Whispering hope, oh how welcome thy voice,
Making my heart in its sorrow rejoice."
She looked at me so peacefully through that song. It was beautiful.
Such a beautiful woman. She was so wise and she loved so much. When my grandfather Paw Paw Frank passed, Nana always said that he was in heaven playing dominoes with Jesus and Moses and Abraham. And it was even mentioned at the service that Nana was up there teaching them boys how to really play the game. And how glorious a celebration they must be having to celebrate Nana and Paw Paw reunited. She had spent 11 years waiting for that moment. The angels must be singing like crazy. I know, personally, that she'll always be singing. I can hear her singing "In The Garden" with my Paw Paw. That was his favorite. "And he walks with me and he talks with me..." I can't wait to join them one day. I can always hear her singing now, I can feel the peace rather of when she used to sing Whispering Hope. Such peace I pray stays with me forever.
I can't think of any other fitting ending than to quote Bro. Jerry and something he said at the service and with the lyrics to the hymn that we concluded the service with. We used to all reach across the isles and grab hands and sing this song to conclude every service at South East. It was so beautiful... and she loved it so much... but before I write that, I'd like to conclude this "speech I couldn't speak" with my own words...
The Dash of Ruby Louise Plagens Boykin will be remembered in every Sunday school song, every hymn, every child’s voice reciting the books of the bible. It will be remembered in the smell of black coffee or homemade rolls, and in every ham sandwich. It will be remembered in the eyes, the tears, and the smiles of her family and her loved ones. For that tiny dash represents the passion, love, faith, hope, gentleness, and kindness that touched and changed so many lives and countless hearts.
"For those of you who did not know her,
No words can describe her love and passion...
For those of you who knew her, no words are needed."
"There's a sweet, sweet spirit in this place,
And I know that it's the spirit of the Lord.
There are sweet expresions on each face,
And I know that it's the presence of the Lord.
Sweet Holy Spirit, sweet heavely dove,
Stay right here with us, filling us with your love.
And for these blessings, we lift our hearts in praise,
Without a doubt, we'll know that we have been revived
When we shall leave this place..."
-♥-K'lynn Hope
Nana's little girl...
*~Ruby Louise Boykin~*
Beloved Daughter, Sister, Teacher, Wife, Mother, and Nana.
And a true Proverbs 31
November 22, 1915 - December 31, 2004
"I read of a reverend who stood to speak
At the funeral of his friend.
He referred to the date on her tombstone
From the beginning... to the end.
He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke of the date with tears
but he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth,
And now only those who loved her know
What that little line is worth.
For it matters not how much we own;
The cars, the house, the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash."
- portion of the poem "The Dash" by Lynda Ellis
Brother Jerry had asked if anyone had anything they would like to share about my Nana at her memorial service. I couldn’t muster the courage to walk up there and speak then, but if I had, this is what I would have said.
So many things I remember about my Nana. Most of my memories from a small child are with her.
She did so many things. She loved to teach. She started teaching Sunday School when she was 16 years old. She stopped teaching when she was 86. 70 years... She taught the little children, and the youth, and the kids in between. She loved teaching Vacation Bible School. She even taught a class for the senior women in the church. She loved to teach people to memorize the books of the Bible. All the kids she taught learned them. Even the adults! She was such a tool. The people she brought to God... there is no doubt in my mind that there are hundreds... maybe even a thousand. I'm one of them. As is my father. And quite a few people at the church. And the church. South East... the little Baptist church I grew up in. She attended for about 40 years. I always wanted to get married in that little church.
There are so many little things I remember. I remember her teaching me the books of the Bible when I was only 8. Then when I turned 9 we decided to learn them all backwards! That was an experience. And it worked too...
She would always want to know in advance when I was coming to her house so she could walk down the block to Handy Andy and pick up a jar of pickles just for me. I loved that.
I remember we would make ham sandwiches for lunch. Nana's ham sandwiches were my favorite. No matter how hard I would concentrate, no matter how much I imitated her every move to make the sandwich just like her... hers always tasted better. Once I asked her why. "Because there's Nana's love in this sandwich." And she was right. No sandwich would or could ever match.
I remember when I would have nightmares... she would make hot cocoa to "chase the bad dreams with sweetness" and then we would lie back down in her bed and she'd pet me and sing hymns until I fell asleep. Most often she chose Whispering Hope.
She taught me how to sew when I was so little. We made doll clothes and pillows. And sometimes even outfits for me and Shelly. Oh and Bible Trivia night at South East. Everyone wanted to have Nana on their side. She always knew the answers. Nothing could stump her. It even got to the point where she couldn't answer first any more... she was too good.
And of course, who could forget... the thing Nana was most famous for. Her home made rolls. Nana would make excellent yeast rolls. No mater what was going on, a potluck, picnic... she'd always make baskets of those rolls. I remember helping her so many times. I was amazed that so much bread could come from one person. But that was Nana; amazing. She would be so detailed. She'd cut them into circles spread butter inside, fold it over, put some butter on top, and pinch the sides together with her fingers. That is one recipe that I want to keep forever. It'll become a tradition in my family. Every holiday dinner we will have Nana's Rolls. It'll be just like having her here.
She was such a beautiful person. She talked about us all the time. Everyone at South East mentioned "oh how she talked about her grandchildren." It was amazing to see the people I saw at her memorial service. It wasn’t filled with people, but if love was a physical thing, I doubt the walls of the church could have held it. The lyrics "love is in the house, and the house is packed.." comes to mind. Paw Paw was there. Paw Paw Norvell. He and Nana taught my VBS class when I was in grade 3. That was when I adopted him. He didn't ever have that relationship with Nana, but all the same, he became Paw Paw.
He used to give Nana a hug and swoop Shelly and I up, one in each arm, and carry us inside. I'd so often sit in between them in church. I'd listen to Nana sing and then fall asleep on Paw Paw's shoulder. She would wake me up with two words I loved to hear... "Dairy Queen" That was tradition. After every service we’d go to Dairy Queen. Nana would have black coffee and Paw Paw would eat something huge and I would always get a chocolate dipped cone. When I got older I started getting Butterfinger blizzards. We'd stay there for hours. The people that worked there even knew us and knew our "usual" orders. It was my favorite thing on Sundays. I always looked forward to it.
I remember so far back... and I remember even the day before she passed. I spent almost the whole day with her. I talked to her so much that day. I sang hymns that I knew she loved to hear, and read passages from the Bible I knew she'd loved to hear as well. When I sang, she would get quiet, and her breathing would quiet, as if she so wanted to hear the songs. And of course I sang the one she sang to me when I was sick so many times.
"Soft as the voice of an angel, breathing a lesson unheard,
Hope with a gentle persuasion whispers her comforting word:
Wait till the darkness is over, wait till the tempest is done,
Hope for the sunshine tomorrow, after the shower is gone.
Whispering hope, oh how welcome thy voice,
Making my heart in its sorrow rejoice."
She looked at me so peacefully through that song. It was beautiful.
Such a beautiful woman. She was so wise and she loved so much. When my grandfather Paw Paw Frank passed, Nana always said that he was in heaven playing dominoes with Jesus and Moses and Abraham. And it was even mentioned at the service that Nana was up there teaching them boys how to really play the game. And how glorious a celebration they must be having to celebrate Nana and Paw Paw reunited. She had spent 11 years waiting for that moment. The angels must be singing like crazy. I know, personally, that she'll always be singing. I can hear her singing "In The Garden" with my Paw Paw. That was his favorite. "And he walks with me and he talks with me..." I can't wait to join them one day. I can always hear her singing now, I can feel the peace rather of when she used to sing Whispering Hope. Such peace I pray stays with me forever.
I can't think of any other fitting ending than to quote Bro. Jerry and something he said at the service and with the lyrics to the hymn that we concluded the service with. We used to all reach across the isles and grab hands and sing this song to conclude every service at South East. It was so beautiful... and she loved it so much... but before I write that, I'd like to conclude this "speech I couldn't speak" with my own words...
The Dash of Ruby Louise Plagens Boykin will be remembered in every Sunday school song, every hymn, every child’s voice reciting the books of the bible. It will be remembered in the smell of black coffee or homemade rolls, and in every ham sandwich. It will be remembered in the eyes, the tears, and the smiles of her family and her loved ones. For that tiny dash represents the passion, love, faith, hope, gentleness, and kindness that touched and changed so many lives and countless hearts.
"For those of you who did not know her,
No words can describe her love and passion...
For those of you who knew her, no words are needed."
"There's a sweet, sweet spirit in this place,
And I know that it's the spirit of the Lord.
There are sweet expresions on each face,
And I know that it's the presence of the Lord.
Sweet Holy Spirit, sweet heavely dove,
Stay right here with us, filling us with your love.
And for these blessings, we lift our hearts in praise,
Without a doubt, we'll know that we have been revived
When we shall leave this place..."
-♥-K'lynn Hope
Nana's little girl...