Presidents' Day Pageant!
First off, lemme say that I'm TOTALLY pissed school wasn't canceled today for the holiday. I mean, it's a federal one! If those cranks down at the Post Office get the day off, why don't I?
And now, ladies and gents, the President Awards. All portraits courtesy of my American Presidents' coloring book, which I purchased at the Smithsonian last spring.
Best Duo:
Move over, Adams Family! These pa 'n boy presidents are the best pair o' relatives to ever terrorize the beltway!
Like father, like son!
Quirkiest Prez:
Oh, you silly Nixon. Your trip to China pales in comparison to the millions of laughs you were able to evoke by appearing on Laugh In. And let's not forget that cuh-ray-zee campaign to bomb Cambodia. HIGH-LARRY-US!
Most Misunderstood:
He was totally content to make appearances at commencement ceremonies until ol' three-name went crazy in Dallas with a magic bullet. He inherited some CIA and "fact-finding" troops in Vietnam, and somehow thought it would be a good idea to escalate, escalate, escalate.
"I shall not seek, and I will not accept, the nomination of my party for another term as your President."
And I shall not seek to solve this paradox.
Most Crippled:
Foxiest Prez:
It's a tie between WJC, who I would intern any day...
...and Gerald Ford, who died at the senseless age of 93. Let's face it, the man is an ox. You want on. Admit it. ADMIT IT!
Most Malignant Bastard:
Just look at those rat eyes. You singlehandedly brought about the Great Depression. For shame, sir. For shame.
And finally, we have our Dumbest President:
Ladies and gents, he already was the oldest elected president in history (until Ronald Reagan came 'round). He knew this. He knew that he was ancient and frail. He also knew that that fateful March day was both cold and windy. So what does the moron do? He performs the longest masturbatory inaugural address ever, lasting almost two hours. Cold turns to pneumonia turns to death. I betcha he didn't even get to enjoy the 24-hour kitchen or anything! Idiot.
And you thought I was gonna say President George W. Bush, didn't you?
Anyway, I hope you're all enjoying your holiday.
Paz,
Kate
And now, ladies and gents, the President Awards. All portraits courtesy of my American Presidents' coloring book, which I purchased at the Smithsonian last spring.
Best Duo:
Move over, Adams Family! These pa 'n boy presidents are the best pair o' relatives to ever terrorize the beltway!
Like father, like son!
Quirkiest Prez:
Oh, you silly Nixon. Your trip to China pales in comparison to the millions of laughs you were able to evoke by appearing on Laugh In. And let's not forget that cuh-ray-zee campaign to bomb Cambodia. HIGH-LARRY-US!
Most Misunderstood:
He was totally content to make appearances at commencement ceremonies until ol' three-name went crazy in Dallas with a magic bullet. He inherited some CIA and "fact-finding" troops in Vietnam, and somehow thought it would be a good idea to escalate, escalate, escalate.
"I shall not seek, and I will not accept, the nomination of my party for another term as your President."
And I shall not seek to solve this paradox.
Most Crippled:
Foxiest Prez:
It's a tie between WJC, who I would intern any day...
...and Gerald Ford, who died at the senseless age of 93. Let's face it, the man is an ox. You want on. Admit it. ADMIT IT!
Most Malignant Bastard:
Just look at those rat eyes. You singlehandedly brought about the Great Depression. For shame, sir. For shame.
And finally, we have our Dumbest President:
Ladies and gents, he already was the oldest elected president in history (until Ronald Reagan came 'round). He knew this. He knew that he was ancient and frail. He also knew that that fateful March day was both cold and windy. So what does the moron do? He performs the longest masturbatory inaugural address ever, lasting almost two hours. Cold turns to pneumonia turns to death. I betcha he didn't even get to enjoy the 24-hour kitchen or anything! Idiot.
And you thought I was gonna say President George W. Bush, didn't you?
Anyway, I hope you're all enjoying your holiday.
Paz,
Kate