Title: Shockwaves
Fandom: How I Met Your Mother
Author:
klutzy_girlWord Count: 2,225
Characters/Pairings: Barney, Robin, Lily, Marshall, Ted, Lily/Marshall, Barney/Robin, mentioned Robin/Kevin
Warnings: Thoughts of abortion; miscarriage
Spoilers: Rebound Girl, but mostly based on spoilers and speculation for 7.12 and beyond.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Barney and Robin try to hide their news from their friends, especially after something happens.
When Robin Scherbatsky found out about her pregnancy in November 2011, she panicked. She didn’t want to be a mother, let alone now when everything was falling apart around her. After she went to Doctor Sonya to confirm her suspicions about the pregnancy - and was told that the positive pregnancy test had been right - Robin chose to put it in the back of her mind and not think about it. Even when Lily’s pregnancy was right in front of her face, she chose to pretend that nothing was happening.
It was only after her meltdown at Marshall and Lily’s new place that led to Robin locking herself in the bathroom did she choose to acknowledge the truth. When Barney showed up to talk to her, she couldn’t keep it a secret anymore. He gaped at her in shock for what felt like forever, but was in reality only five minutes, before finally speaking. “You’re sure?”
She nodded. “Went to the doctor’s and confirmed it. The baby’s yours. Kevin and I haven’t slept together yet, and you’re the only person I have had sex with in the past few months.”
“Wow. Just wow. I don’t know what to say.” Barney really didn’t. He was freaking out and wanted to bolt, but chose not to because Robin needed him. He wasn’t about to leave her alone.
“How do you think I feel? I’m knocked up because I cheated on my boyfriend with my ex-boyfriend.”
“So, what have you decided? Do you want to keep it?” Barney would support her in any decision she made. He wouldn’t be angry if she decided to abort, but they had a lot to talk about. He still couldn’t wrap his mind around it - Robin is pregnant with his baby. He’s going to be a father! Maybe, because of course, it all depended on what Robin chose to do.
She shrugged. “I’ve been thinking about everything and all my options. I have a follow up appointment in a few weeks, and I think I’ll decide from that. I am thinking about aborting.” She wanted to be honest with Barney because that was pretty important right now.
“I’ll be right there if you need me. And what are you going to do about Kevin?” Barney was still hurt from her choosing Kevin over him, but he loved Robin so much and had already forgiven her. He was terrified out of his mind, but he’d be by her side every step of the way, whether she kept the baby or not.
“I have to be truthful with him now. It’d be horrible to lie to him, especially when I’m knocked up with somebody else’s baby.”
“So, are we going to tell anybody or what?” Barney wasn’t sure if Robin was going to, especially since she hadn’t made up her mind yet and Lily was pregnant.
“Let’s just keep this to ourselves for now. I’m not that far along and I still haven’t decided to do. I do have until the end of the first trimester to make up my mind, so we still have a lot of time. You know, I’m surprised you didn’t run out the window when I told you.”
“Are you kidding? You need me. I can freak out in my own home later when there’s no one around.” And he definitely planned on that freak out, but Robin clearly wasn’t okay and needed his support. She was his main priority right now.
Barney convinced Robin to leave the bathroom and they went out to join their friends, trying to pretend that nothing was up. It was a pretty awkward Thanksgiving dinner, but that was nothing new.
Robin told Kevin the truth about what had happened the next day since she couldn’t put it off anymore, and he broke up with her. Surprisingly, he had known about the cheating - Barney and Robin’s behavior after it had happened had given them up - but he had forgiven them. Kevin couldn’t forgive her being pregnant with Barney’s, though. He loved her, but he couldn’t stay with her after that. She was understanding and accepted his decision, but couldn’t help but curl up in her bed and cry over the direction her life had taken lately.
True to his word, Barney did freak out about Robin’s pregnancy. He had started thinking he wanted marriage and kids - The whole package - but this wasn’t what he had been expecting. It was hard to not tell one of their friends because he just needed someone to talk to, but he didn’t.
However, the pregnancy was a moot point when Robin visited Doctor Sonya for a follow up appointment and learned she had miscarried. Miscarriages were common, especially in first pregnancies. Even though Robin still hadn’t made up her mind about aborting and she still wasn’t sure she wanted to be a mother, she took the news hard.
Barney was the only one at the bar after Robin’s appointment and she was thankful for that. And just as soon as she talked to her ex-boyfriend, she planned on getting drunk beyond belief. She needed it, and the fact that she hadn’t been able to drink for the past few weeks had driven her nuts. “So, what’s she’d say?”
She sighed. “Well, you don’t have to worry about it anymore. There is no baby anymore.”
Barney cocked his head and stared at her. “What are you talking about?” He hoped she hadn’t aborted without talking to him. They had agreed they’d talk about their next step.
“Doctor Sonya says I miscarried and that it’s common. So you’re off the hook. You don’t have to worry about your knocked up ex-girlfriend anymore. Go out and fuck some random girl tonight.” Robin didn’t know why she had just said these things, but she was still reeling from what the doctor told her.
Barney grabbed her hand at first, but then walked around to her side of the booth and hugged Robin. He had still been freaking out becoming a father, but he had started to warm up to the idea. He was devastated about the loss of the baby. “I know what you’re trying to do so stop pushing me away. It’s not going to work.” He rubbed her arms in an attempt to calm the now shaking Robin calm, just like he had done after the Simon fiasco, which had been right before they had slept together for the first time.
Robin wanted to cry for the loss of the baby she hadn’t even really wanted, but refused. “Barney, I’m fine. It’s not like we really wanted this, right? Bad timing and everything? I’ll be fine so you don’t have to worry about me.” She reluctantly pulled herself out of Barney’s arms. She wanted it, but wasn’t about to let him comfort her.
Barney didn’t want to let Robin go when she was clearly hurting, but felt like he had no choice. “I’m here when you need to talk. I mean it, Scherbatsky.”
“I know you do. Thanks.” Even though she couldn’t say it, she appreciated his support. When the waitress finally came around, she ordered the strongest drink the bar had and set to work on getting as drunk as possible. A worried Barney cut back on his drinks and started drinking something else so he could stay sober and keep an eye on her. He ended up taking her back up to her apartment when she nearly passed out. He made sure that Ted would keep checking on her before leaving.
After that, Barney went back to his apartment and grieved alone for the baby he wasn’t even sure he had wanted in the first place. They hadn’t even known that long about the pregnancy, so the reaction to the miscarriage confused him, but he decided not to think about it.
Gradually, things started to go back to normal - At least a little bit. Robin was still on a downward spiral and her friends had no idea how to help her. They tried a few times, but she started ignoring after that. Barney’s odd behavior just worried them even more, so they decided to wait and then confront the two because clearly had something had gone down between them.
They finally snapped one day in early February. By that point, Barney had started dating a girl named Quinn, although it wasn’t serious, and Robin was drinking a little too much for their liking. Both of them were worrying their friends, and no one could take it anymore.
“Okay, so something is clearly wrong. You two have been acting odd for weeks now.” Lily stared at them and waited for an answer. Robin and Barney clearly didn’t want to be there, but their pregnant friend terrified them and made them believe they had no choice.
“Nothing’s wrong.” Robin picked at a hangnail and tried to pretend like she wasn’t about to crack and spill the secret.
However, Barney wasn’t privy to her plan and he couldn’t take it anymore. Hiding the secret had been killing him inside, and all he wanted to do was talk to someone. “Sit down, this is pretty big.”
“This is going to be bad, isn’t it?” Ted listened, sat down, and then pulled Marshall down with him. Lily stood her ground and stayed standing.
“You can say that.”
“Barney, are you telling them? I thought we agreed not to!”
“Come on! We’ve been dealing with this for months, and it’s clearly not working for us. We need to get this out in the open so it’s there and we can deal the right way.”
“What’s going on?” Marshall eyed them both warily, suddenly terrified of what was about to come out of their mouths.
“Fine. Tell them since you clearly don’t care about me.”
“You know that’s not true, Robin! I love you, but hiding everything was clearly a mistake. We never should have done it.”
“What is going on?” Lily had a feeling she wasn’t going to like what they were going to say, but they needed to get whatever secret they had out in the open.
“A few months ago, Barney and I cheated on Nora and Kevin. We had sex, and everything feels like it spiraled out of control.” Robin wasn’t ready to share the news of her pregnancy and miscarriage, especially since Lily would feel guilty once she knew.
Barney didn’t feel the same way. He was worried about Lily’s reaction, considering her pregnancy, but he had to tell someone. “She got pregnant. It was my baby, not Kevin’s. But then we found out she lost it and everything’s been fucked up for months.”
Lily gasped, slapped her hand on her mouth, and then tears formed in her eyes. She started sobbing, but then sat down next to both of them and hugged Barney and Robin. “I’m so sorry.”
“Wow. I’m really sorry you guys.” Marshall clapped Barney on the shoulder and was suddenly grateful that there were no complications in Lily’s pregnancy. He felt extremely guilty about the thought, but he loved his unborn son already and couldn’t wait to meet him. He didn’t know how he’d feel if Barney and Robin’s situation had happened to him and Lily.
“Holy fuck.” Ted had had his theories on what had happened, but they hadn’t been anywhere close to the truth. He honestly hadn’t expected a Barney and Robin hook up, pregnancy, and miscarriage.
“And you two have been hiding this from us?” Lily really wished they hadn’t.
“You’re pregnant and I didn’t want to upset you.” Robin really hadn’t. Lily and Marshall deserved their happiness about their unborn son, and neither of them needed to deal with their issues.
“Barney, how are you dealing with this? I know you’ve been thinking about kids.” Ted weakly smiled at him.
“I miss the baby which is really weird since we knew for less than a few weeks. I don’t understand this.” Barney’s new pledge was to be honest with their friends.
“I was thinking about aborting, but I’m still sad. And I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately. It feels like I’m falling apart at the seams and I don’t know how to stop it. I’ve made all the wrong choices lately.” Robin finally burst into sobs and she leaned into Lily, who started rubbing her back.
While Robin and Lily talked, Marshall and Ted had a long and surprisingly honest conversation with Barney.
It’d take a little while for everything to get back on track for the group. Robin started attending therapy with a different therapist, and she started drinking a lot less. The therapy helped more than she thought it, and her life started to improve. Barney dated Quinn for a few more weeks before breaking it off. He loved Robin too much to ever really love another woman.
Barney and Robin eventually did get back together and they ended up marrying. Ted was co-best man, and both of them drove him nuts.
They went on to have two kids - A son and a daughter - but neither forgot the child they had lost. The miscarriage made them appreciate their family more.
Barney and Robin had to go through hell before they got their happiness together, and they were always thankful to their friends for their support in their tough times.