The Other Shoe Drops
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck!
On any other day - any other day, this would have been no big deal. It was just a little fender bender, it barely cracked the bumper. But I was already balanced on a knife edge of calm above my anxieties about today, and getting rear-ended just totally threw me off. I somehow managed to keep myself composed long enough to get the information of the woman who rear-ended me, but once she left I just lost it. I just couldn't stop crying. Everything I had bottled up inside just came pouring out.
Any other day but this one!
When I got to a point where I could think somewhat coherently again, I took stock of my situation. It's my first day presenting as female at work. I've just been rear-ended, I've been crying for the last half-hour, and I look like shit. There was no way in hell that I was going to walk into the office looking like that. So I called up my boss, told him I wouldn't be able to get in until after lunch because of an accident, and drove home.
It definitely came to mind that it wasn't exactly the bravest of moves on my part, but more than anything, I needed to recenter myself. I needed to get to a place where I could reattain that zen-like calm that had kept me going until the accident. So here I am.
If there's anything good that's come from all this, it's that I don't think anything could shake me now. I've let it all out - there's just nothing left. Someone could start shouting obscenities in my face right now and it would barely even register.
This whole episode better not be an omen of things to come. If it is, then I'm proper fucked.
On any other day - any other day, this would have been no big deal. It was just a little fender bender, it barely cracked the bumper. But I was already balanced on a knife edge of calm above my anxieties about today, and getting rear-ended just totally threw me off. I somehow managed to keep myself composed long enough to get the information of the woman who rear-ended me, but once she left I just lost it. I just couldn't stop crying. Everything I had bottled up inside just came pouring out.
Any other day but this one!
When I got to a point where I could think somewhat coherently again, I took stock of my situation. It's my first day presenting as female at work. I've just been rear-ended, I've been crying for the last half-hour, and I look like shit. There was no way in hell that I was going to walk into the office looking like that. So I called up my boss, told him I wouldn't be able to get in until after lunch because of an accident, and drove home.
It definitely came to mind that it wasn't exactly the bravest of moves on my part, but more than anything, I needed to recenter myself. I needed to get to a place where I could reattain that zen-like calm that had kept me going until the accident. So here I am.
If there's anything good that's come from all this, it's that I don't think anything could shake me now. I've let it all out - there's just nothing left. Someone could start shouting obscenities in my face right now and it would barely even register.
This whole episode better not be an omen of things to come. If it is, then I'm proper fucked.