In the words of Anon... (never mind, idiot).
It's fucking pathetic that I feel the need to write on here because I know my words are falling on deaf ears and crying about it to myself won't solve much. I'm not revealing all on here I'm just going to say I'm fed up. I'm unhappy. I'm lonely. I don't feel special or interesting or anything because I don't do anything or go anywhere or speak to anyone. The options I've got are limited and I'm scared to do anything right now. I need proof of a lot of things and I don't think you take me seriously. I'm crying like a fucking baby as I write this and I don't know how I feel. I can't explain it and even when I try there's noone to listen. Everyone I've ever had to talk to I still have/had to sugar coat stuff so that you're there/were there the next time and I want someone who'll just let me cry and complain and criticise and get it all out of my system. I've learnt nothing from people and feel you're taking what I had. All of you. Then I'm the mean, ignorant and antisocial one. I get it. I'm a bastard. A whiny, clingy, cinical, contradictory bastard. Whoever I'm with makes me what I am. My mother makes me boring, simple and angry. My schoolmates made me insecure and insignificant. My boyfriend makes me confused and worthless. My brother and sister convince me I'm shallow and I use them as it suits. I'm malicious, spiteful. I don't fucking know. I don't care. I've stopped crying now and on the plus side that's twenty five quid I saved when my plans got wrecked. I'm sat all dressed up with nowhere to go as usual. Plans all to pot because I don't commit. I should be more like the girls you love and make out I'm confident and do what I do for any reason other than the real one. I do know people, I just don't know myself. I'm not going to read back before I click update because I feel like I got a lot out then and I meant some parts more than others and some parts not at all. Going to get an alcoholic bevarage and play worms maybe, or watch Naked Gun.
FYI : My Mum, my boyfriend, my brother, my sister and most of my friends do like me and such, I'm not calling them at all. I'm trying to explain how I feel. Maybe I could get cool and use LJ as the friend that just listens. If it weren't for the fact I just wish we'd all be ourselves, that might be a good idea. Don't treat me like I'm stupid.
I daren't send without reading because when I talk and cry it makes no sense so God knows what this says.
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