(no subject)
Seriously! I know I havent updated in forever but I feel the need to tonight. I got out after a good day at work to hang out with friends I havent seen in forever. Everything is great! I love them all. Then I come home after 2 drinks. I used to be able to do more but it gets hard when you dont go out much. When I get home I check email and stuff. i have a friend request from a girl named Michelle on myspace. i think no big deal and then check it to see who it is. It turns out to be my ex boyfriend (whom I dated over 5 years) new girlfriend (mind you they broke up after she cheated on him which serves him right cause that is what he did to me). She thinks that it would be great to be my friend and get to know me cause the family still likes me so much even though it has been 3 years. Well duh, it is because no one likes her and thinks she is psycho. I used to work for his cousin who would fill me in on all the details. Dont get me wrong I am way over him but I just cant understand why she would want to be my friend. It does hurt in some ways but others not. i really am interested in other guys right now but it still manages to hurt. I mean after all she is preganant by him now. Why does it kinda hurt though is what I dont understand> Maybe it is because I dated him for so long wiht so many dreams for us having a future together. In return they are crushed after he breaks my heart many times by cheating and what not and tells you things that will hurt you. After the break up, you find out he is engaged to a new girl only after one month of breaking up with you. then only to repeat the process 2 more times after that. I think that I am nore then irritated becuase I have let him ruin so many things that could have turned into good relationships. I was so hurt that I can not let myself get passed a certain point with any guy without worrying too much about being hurt. So what ahppens then? I allow whatever is going on between me and that person to go down the drain to save myself from the hurt when really all it is doing is hurting on the inside because I really want more. I am tempted to add her as a friend but really want to reject her at the same time. I feel like crying right now but I am not going to cause if I do I will fell like they will. Ugh, I have no clue but I kinda feel better.