(no subject)
omg..i cant believe ive forgotten all about my livejournal!the last time i wrote in here, it was about prom and that was FOREVER away!
anyway i dont know wholl read this, but writing this is just comforting even if no one does read it. so summer has been fun.i feel like its really gone by fast tho.but i have a lot more to look forward to as the end of summer rolls around.
anyways the real reason im writing is because ive been thinking alot lately and im doing it again...that thing i do with guys where i lead them on and then like change my feelings toward them and dont wanna see them again.it sucks.i thought id gotten over that!i mean theres this guy who ive liked for a pretty long time and now that hes actually noticing me and stuff, i feel like i cant stand to be around him and pretend that i still like him.anyways i havent seen him in awhile and im gonna see him tomorrow.ill see how that turns out.hopefulle ill like him again!!!!
but yea i was just lookin at my friends on facebook and i came across this one guy's profile and i was just lookin thru it cus i was bored and partly cus i feel bad for doing "that thing" to him.and he had one picture where hes with his nephew and the caption was like "i cant wait til im a father"!!!and i know thats cheesy but i mean i wish i hadnt screwed things up with him and i just remembered all the fun times we had and how we could talk for hours and ...i dont know.i just dont wanna miss out on anything that could be amazing because i have commitment issues....ughhhh i hate my life.
its like i think i know what i want and then i fuck it up and then i think about it later on and feel sad cus i didnt give a chance.it suks.but im trying.....