(no subject)
agh this week has been so long!i cant wait till its over but then again i dont want friday to come cus then ill be stressing cus i have this shit due on that day.but yeah i have to take the SAT on saturday and im freaking out cus i dont wanna take it.but then again i just want to get it over with.hopefully ill do really good!
but yeah ok so i had like an "awakening" last saturday.cus i had a dream where this little boy was moving and he was with his little friend and they were hanging out for the last time and it was just a really sad dream cus they had to say goodbye and shit!and so i woke up crying and kept crying for a long time.i dont really remember but then wheni was fully awake, i was in my bathtub just crying.and i wasnt even really thinking...but the tears just came.
so then i started thingking about that little boy and how he would probably never see his friend again and how he was so young so he probably wouldnt even try to contact his friend since they dont have cell phones and shit.and then i thought about how lucky that kid was cus he probably didnt even feel that sad that he was leaving his friend since he was so young and stuff.and then i felt like shit cus i can call u guys up at anytime and shit to talk and see how u guys are doing but i never do cus i dont want it to be awkard.and i just felt like a bad friend.
and then i started thinking about all my new friends here and how they dont even compare to u guys at all.and how if i moved we would probably never try and contact each other and i was ok with that cus i knew i had you guys!and id always have you guys!and so i dont even give a shit about kids here!i mean i do but if i dont get terribly close to them then i dont care.cus i have you guys and i dont need them.and so im not even worried about us drifting apart cus i know well see each other again and so everything will be amazing again!and im not jealous that u guys might have new friends cus i know ull always have a place for me!and so yeah now i dont have to try so hard to make friends here cus i have u guys.
but yeah since ive kind of backed off and tried less to be really close to my friends, theyve drawn closer to me.its weird.its like ...backwards hahaha
but yeah wow i feel lame.this is the first REAL entry that ive done in a long time.it feels good...even if u dont read it.
but yeah ok so i had like an "awakening" last saturday.cus i had a dream where this little boy was moving and he was with his little friend and they were hanging out for the last time and it was just a really sad dream cus they had to say goodbye and shit!and so i woke up crying and kept crying for a long time.i dont really remember but then wheni was fully awake, i was in my bathtub just crying.and i wasnt even really thinking...but the tears just came.
so then i started thingking about that little boy and how he would probably never see his friend again and how he was so young so he probably wouldnt even try to contact his friend since they dont have cell phones and shit.and then i thought about how lucky that kid was cus he probably didnt even feel that sad that he was leaving his friend since he was so young and stuff.and then i felt like shit cus i can call u guys up at anytime and shit to talk and see how u guys are doing but i never do cus i dont want it to be awkard.and i just felt like a bad friend.
and then i started thinking about all my new friends here and how they dont even compare to u guys at all.and how if i moved we would probably never try and contact each other and i was ok with that cus i knew i had you guys!and id always have you guys!and so i dont even give a shit about kids here!i mean i do but if i dont get terribly close to them then i dont care.cus i have you guys and i dont need them.and so im not even worried about us drifting apart cus i know well see each other again and so everything will be amazing again!and im not jealous that u guys might have new friends cus i know ull always have a place for me!and so yeah now i dont have to try so hard to make friends here cus i have u guys.
but yeah since ive kind of backed off and tried less to be really close to my friends, theyve drawn closer to me.its weird.its like ...backwards hahaha
but yeah wow i feel lame.this is the first REAL entry that ive done in a long time.it feels good...even if u dont read it.