Coping
Brad and I had hoped to share some happy news this week for those of you who had not yet heard that we were expecting our first child in January. Many of you heard about it this past weekend, or through the grapevine.
This marked the beginning of my 12th week of pregnancy and we joyfully anticipated each new development. Over Memorial Day weekend, I had some complications and had them checked out. Although our doctor felt that it was not a bad thing, he was concerned enough to do an ultra sound. We were able to see our baby's heartbeat on the monitor and I can tell you that I had never known such relief in all of my existence. As the weeks passed we had some follow-ups and later saw the baby's arms and legs develop. In our last picture, we could see the head, arms, legs and body clearly. This week the baby's paddles changed into fingers and toes. Next week the baby would have been able to hear us gleefully discussing its future.
This morning I awoke to some similar complications, and although not as panicked, went to the doctor. Sadly, there was no longer a heartbeat. We don't know why, or how it happened, but we lost our baby. Physically, I am not in any pain and will have a procedure on Thursday.
We are heartbroken, numb and in shock, especially since we were so close to a safety zone. But this was not preventable and completely out of our hands. We are taking solace and comfort in eachother and have realized that the most wonderful thing about our experience is that our marriage has only grown stronger. We also have nto given up hope that it may happen for us in the future.
Honestly, I do not need consoling, or expressions of sympathy, and I don't want to talk it out. Frankly, I don't know what I'd say to a friend in the same situation that didn't sound trite, so I certainly don't expect any of you to either. We know that you feel for our loss, and have sympathy for us, or you wouldn't be our friends in the first place. Right now, I think we just need eachother and some time.
I'm trying to get through the next few days and then find my way back to where normal is. So if I don't return your call, or email, don't think I don't know you're there. I don't really know what else to say, but that I'm sorry to bring such bad news.
Be good to someone today. Peace.
This marked the beginning of my 12th week of pregnancy and we joyfully anticipated each new development. Over Memorial Day weekend, I had some complications and had them checked out. Although our doctor felt that it was not a bad thing, he was concerned enough to do an ultra sound. We were able to see our baby's heartbeat on the monitor and I can tell you that I had never known such relief in all of my existence. As the weeks passed we had some follow-ups and later saw the baby's arms and legs develop. In our last picture, we could see the head, arms, legs and body clearly. This week the baby's paddles changed into fingers and toes. Next week the baby would have been able to hear us gleefully discussing its future.
This morning I awoke to some similar complications, and although not as panicked, went to the doctor. Sadly, there was no longer a heartbeat. We don't know why, or how it happened, but we lost our baby. Physically, I am not in any pain and will have a procedure on Thursday.
We are heartbroken, numb and in shock, especially since we were so close to a safety zone. But this was not preventable and completely out of our hands. We are taking solace and comfort in eachother and have realized that the most wonderful thing about our experience is that our marriage has only grown stronger. We also have nto given up hope that it may happen for us in the future.
Honestly, I do not need consoling, or expressions of sympathy, and I don't want to talk it out. Frankly, I don't know what I'd say to a friend in the same situation that didn't sound trite, so I certainly don't expect any of you to either. We know that you feel for our loss, and have sympathy for us, or you wouldn't be our friends in the first place. Right now, I think we just need eachother and some time.
I'm trying to get through the next few days and then find my way back to where normal is. So if I don't return your call, or email, don't think I don't know you're there. I don't really know what else to say, but that I'm sorry to bring such bad news.
Be good to someone today. Peace.