'tis the season

Dec 08, 2005 15:04

Last night was great. When I got off work (where they fed us a great student-workers lunch, surprised me with a very belated birthday cake, and sent us off with goody bags), I went home, made a salad, called Montbertrand about my independent study, and went over to Kristen's.

Her roommate Katie made falafel and Lauren made hummus, so we had a wonderful dinner (complete with organic pinot noir, making me wonder more than ever why it's taken me so long to find these people). Afterward Kristen and I got coffee at the library and went back to my room to study. We talked for a long time about life and social ethics and all the kinds of things I love to talk about with Kristen.

But it took me hours to fall asleep, and hours this morning to wake up. I feel like I'm living in a cloud - the wet kind that blows cold against your face in a strong wind. I guess it feels like depression, and I wish I knew how to find my way out.

"Things" are going well enough - almost done with classes, only one semester left as RA, Christmas on its way bringing trips to Chicago, Portland, and possibly Pennsylvania... but I feel all gray inside. I feel all gray about Abe.

Karissa says she wrote my love story. I felt whimsical and wonderful, but now I feel gray about that too.
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