Should I become a lecturer? and yes, I feel inferior.....
Poll Should Salwa become a lecturer?Anyway, whatever you vote for, please comment and state your reason why.... Oh and yes, I know some of you lurk here *coughCHRISTONcough* so please comment, at least for this time till the next time I force you to.
I can't help but wonder recently... but.... Should I become a lecturer? Don't say the whole it's up to me thing since I'm kind of unsure myself.
A lot of people say I should, and my grandfather is quite glad I'm considering the option, seeing as he is one as well. Anyway, in terms of skill, I dare say I actually can teach... If it is IT related anyhow. Don't let me teach math though. I generally and honestly say, I can't do it at all! *and thanks to the Outcome Based Education System, I have NO chance of even PASSING this paper!... The ratio of coursework mark to final exam is 60:40, so yes, all the random quizzes, assignments and tests are all taken into consideration, which is why this year, I'm having a mental boom.... BTW, my coursework marks for math is 39/60.... I'm gonna get one hell of a screaming from my parents... and owh, I hate math*
I have so many options right now.... But I'm thinking of a way to have a comfortable life with my grandkids in the near future.
My options:
If I were to do anything Petronas affiliated:
- become a lecturer and working for UTP
- work for Petronas insyaallah
If not:
- get good results, breech the contract, study in Japan
- become a programmer at a random company
- become a hacker at either Microsoft or Apple *the latter preferred*
Current coursework marks:
English II: 52.1
Introduction to Business Information Systems: 49
Principle of Economics: 51
Introduction to Problem Solving and Programming: 55
Foundation Mathematics II: 39
I have an inferiority complex nowadays.... seems like right and left, I'm doing the worst no matter how hard I study. And I only have one subject to my name, which is programming....
I've always felt that day... since the day I entered Arts. Even my closest family members would turn up their noses at me, just because I'm an Arts student.They would say something like "Hey, Wan, how come you and your wife are from science, but your daughter is in Arts? Low class la... You should transfer her back in science, more future that way..."... It really hurts, especially since I'm right beside my parents when they say that. A lot of my relatives are from the science stream, and heck, a lot of people here in UTP are also from that stream. Which makes me feel a bit insecure about myself... And right and left, people are going like... Wow, the subjects here are damn easy.
My dad is super supportive of my decision, and he has partly shaped who I am today, introducing me to computers at an early age. However, the day I stepped into Arts, I realised that your stream orientation will affect you for life. Lots of teachers look down on the Arts stream, and I know some of them will wrinkle and shrivel up their noses when they learn that they have to teach the Arts stream.
And somehow, I know that even in universities, they take pride in their engineering faculty. Opportunities for internship and jobs are always so open for them, and what about us technology students? It kind of feels that at times, we have been side-winded... forgotten... Like in economics, when people have higher income *in this case, a higher level of thinking*, they won't choose to buy inferior good like burgers *in this case technology students* but instead turn to higher end goods like steak *in this case, engineering students*......
In terms of personal skill... I think I have the lowest compared to everyone else...... Or nearly none in that sense... I don;t have a skill at all in fact.....All I can do is talk and program, and yes, many others can do even better than me in retrospect.
I think I just think too much nowadays. I haven't even been talking much... I wonder why? I have a lot to day, but don't know who to say it too. And despite what you think my mom is the person I'd tell things the least to.....
I need a good long break to think things over.....
edit......
my mom yelled at me for getting 39 for math... I can't take this anymore. Don't they get it?! I CAN'T DO MATHS!!! I CAN NOT DO MATH!!!! WHY CAN'T MY PARENTS ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I CAN NOT DO MATH AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P/S: Boy, how do we apply for JAVA certification here in UTP? And when can we apply? Is it self sponsored or under Petronas?
P/S/S: Who says my entries are about anime 100% of the time anyway? Surely you've seen my wordpress blog before right?