FIC: Not Quite There Yet, HP/BtVS, Sirius & Spike, G
I bloody nearly didn't make it to post this in time! Long story short, it's apparently not such a brilliant idea to pour a whole glass of water straight onto a modem. Needless to say, that modem is no more, it's an ex-modem. And the 40 euros it cost to replace it don't exactly improve my financial situation in any way.
But enough with the bitching. The main reason I got so annoyed over the whole modem thing was because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to post this!
Happy Birthday, trobadora!!!
Title: Not Quite There Yet
Author: Kleio (kleio_the_muse)
Fandoms: HP/BtVS
Summary: Sirius and Spike in limbo:)
A/N: Just a little bit of dialogue written for trobadora on her birthday. Hopefully silly enough to convince her that I can write something light:) Betaed by the wonderful fluffyllama.
"Damn you, Bellatrix! Damn you to hell!"
"Easy there, mate. No need to go off over some bird. She the one that did you in, eh?"
"Yeah, she did, and I'm bloody well going to pay her back for it even if it kills me!"
"I think you're about to bump into a tiny little snag right there, us being already dead and all. Remember, the reason you're so pissed at your honey to begin with?"
"What? No, she's my cousin, for Merlin's sake!"
"Ooh, kinky. Or is it just inbreeding? I forget."
"It's neither, you dimwit. And I would choose my words more carefully if I were you. I could turn you into a bleeding bat with just a flip of... Where's my wand?"
"Now, there's an idea. I've always thought the whole Drac thing would suit me rather well. And don't give me that look! Haven't seen your wand or whatever, have I? Nothing worth nicking in this place, I can tell you."
"What is this place exactly? Perhaps it's just me, but somehow I thought the other side of the veil would be a bit more crowded after all these years."
"Don't know about any veils, mate. Been all on me own for... Well, it's a bit difficult to say how long it's been. Time's not such a huge thing around here, I gather."
"No, this can't be... I didn't die, I just fell through the veil... I mean, it's not the same, is it?"
"You sure you didn't hit your head on something nasty on your way?"
"But I didn't die! I'm not supposed to be here!"
"Right there with you, mate. I had my, well, un-life to lead, and there was this bird, y'see, who was just warming up to me when these sodding uber-vamps had to come and mess it all up, and..."
"Do you ever shut up?"
"Oi, I'm speakin' here! And besides, you asked me how I got here, and naturally a fella's gonna..."
"I didn't ask you anything, you prat! No, wait, I know. This is hell, right? This is the hell of the Wizarding World, having to listen to a bloody Muggle tell his life's tale for all eternity. Brilliant, just bloody brilliant. Damn you, Bellatrix!"
"Will you quit repeating that?! What the fuck is a Muggle? And the Wizarding World? Don't tell me they've made a sodding theme park of those wankers?"
"Oh, do shut up."
"You shut up."
"No, you!"
"I was here first!"
"Where is 'here'?!"
"Don't rightly know, do I?! Look, all I know is that this is neither here nor there, get it? We're not dead, 'cause vampires can't bloody well be dead. Or they already are, so they can't get any deader, only a big pile of dust, which I'm not, so there."
"A vampire?"
"Yep, in the flesh. Figuratively speaking. And you with your missing wand must be some kind of a magician, eh?"
"The preferred term is wizard, actually."
"But you do tricks, right? Do the one where you pull a juicy rabbit out of a posh hat!"
"For fuck's sake, I don't do tricks! Well, I could do it, it's just a simple conjuring spell, don't even need the hat for it... I don't do tricks!"
"All right, mate! No rabbits, that's cool. Just thought it might help pass the time."
"The time till what exactly?"
"Oh, life, death, oblivion. Take your bloody pick. There's no telling how long we'll be sitting in this waiting room. Not that there's anything to sit on, or to sit with, or even a room. Sparse, innit?"
"And yet here we are. Bloody buggery hell."
"Couldn't have said it better myself, mate. I'm Spike, by the way."
"Sirius Black, hardly a pleasure to... Spike? Do vampires really have stage names?"
"It's a funny story, actually. You know the spikes they put in railways, right? Well, I found that shoving one through a bloke's head is much more fun..."
"Damn you, Bellatrix!"
"Oi! Stop saying that! Now, do you want to hear the rest of this or don't you?"
The End.
But enough with the bitching. The main reason I got so annoyed over the whole modem thing was because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to post this!
Happy Birthday, trobadora!!!
Title: Not Quite There Yet
Author: Kleio (kleio_the_muse)
Fandoms: HP/BtVS
Summary: Sirius and Spike in limbo:)
A/N: Just a little bit of dialogue written for trobadora on her birthday. Hopefully silly enough to convince her that I can write something light:) Betaed by the wonderful fluffyllama.
"Damn you, Bellatrix! Damn you to hell!"
"Easy there, mate. No need to go off over some bird. She the one that did you in, eh?"
"Yeah, she did, and I'm bloody well going to pay her back for it even if it kills me!"
"I think you're about to bump into a tiny little snag right there, us being already dead and all. Remember, the reason you're so pissed at your honey to begin with?"
"What? No, she's my cousin, for Merlin's sake!"
"Ooh, kinky. Or is it just inbreeding? I forget."
"It's neither, you dimwit. And I would choose my words more carefully if I were you. I could turn you into a bleeding bat with just a flip of... Where's my wand?"
"Now, there's an idea. I've always thought the whole Drac thing would suit me rather well. And don't give me that look! Haven't seen your wand or whatever, have I? Nothing worth nicking in this place, I can tell you."
"What is this place exactly? Perhaps it's just me, but somehow I thought the other side of the veil would be a bit more crowded after all these years."
"Don't know about any veils, mate. Been all on me own for... Well, it's a bit difficult to say how long it's been. Time's not such a huge thing around here, I gather."
"No, this can't be... I didn't die, I just fell through the veil... I mean, it's not the same, is it?"
"You sure you didn't hit your head on something nasty on your way?"
"But I didn't die! I'm not supposed to be here!"
"Right there with you, mate. I had my, well, un-life to lead, and there was this bird, y'see, who was just warming up to me when these sodding uber-vamps had to come and mess it all up, and..."
"Do you ever shut up?"
"Oi, I'm speakin' here! And besides, you asked me how I got here, and naturally a fella's gonna..."
"I didn't ask you anything, you prat! No, wait, I know. This is hell, right? This is the hell of the Wizarding World, having to listen to a bloody Muggle tell his life's tale for all eternity. Brilliant, just bloody brilliant. Damn you, Bellatrix!"
"Will you quit repeating that?! What the fuck is a Muggle? And the Wizarding World? Don't tell me they've made a sodding theme park of those wankers?"
"Oh, do shut up."
"You shut up."
"No, you!"
"I was here first!"
"Where is 'here'?!"
"Don't rightly know, do I?! Look, all I know is that this is neither here nor there, get it? We're not dead, 'cause vampires can't bloody well be dead. Or they already are, so they can't get any deader, only a big pile of dust, which I'm not, so there."
"A vampire?"
"Yep, in the flesh. Figuratively speaking. And you with your missing wand must be some kind of a magician, eh?"
"The preferred term is wizard, actually."
"But you do tricks, right? Do the one where you pull a juicy rabbit out of a posh hat!"
"For fuck's sake, I don't do tricks! Well, I could do it, it's just a simple conjuring spell, don't even need the hat for it... I don't do tricks!"
"All right, mate! No rabbits, that's cool. Just thought it might help pass the time."
"The time till what exactly?"
"Oh, life, death, oblivion. Take your bloody pick. There's no telling how long we'll be sitting in this waiting room. Not that there's anything to sit on, or to sit with, or even a room. Sparse, innit?"
"And yet here we are. Bloody buggery hell."
"Couldn't have said it better myself, mate. I'm Spike, by the way."
"Sirius Black, hardly a pleasure to... Spike? Do vampires really have stage names?"
"It's a funny story, actually. You know the spikes they put in railways, right? Well, I found that shoving one through a bloke's head is much more fun..."
"Damn you, Bellatrix!"
"Oi! Stop saying that! Now, do you want to hear the rest of this or don't you?"
The End.