FIC: Die a Little - Day Five, HP, SS/SB, NC-17
I was a bit quicker with this than I initially thought, but I hope that's fine with everybody!
(Okay, to tell you the truth, I wasn't any quicker - fluffyllama was and I love her for it:)
Title: Die a Little - Day Five
Author: Kleio
Rating: NC-17 (and finally I mean it!;)
Pairing: SS/SB
Summary: "Isn't it the duty of a house-elf to entertain his master's guests?" Malfoy asked pleasantly as he grabbed Sirius by the collar and held him still.
Notes: Again, I owe a mountain of gratitude to fluffyllama for the beta and to trobadora for all her help and advice - I love you both dearly!:)
Day Five
"Here."
"Is this a game?"
"No, you nitwit. This is the library."
"You see, that's pretty much why I asked - because I know this is the bloody library!"
"Splendid. And how about the alphabet?"
"What about it?"
"Do you know it?"
"Bloody hell, Snape! Can't you just say what the fuck you want me to do?"
"It is perfectly simple. I want you to put these books in alphabetical order. By title rather than by author as I'm quite hopeless with names."
Sirius swirled around, measuring the length of the shelves with his gaze. Every wall of the library was covered with books all the way up to the ceiling, and a ladder was leaning against the shelves, without which it would have been impossible to reach the ones higher up. Apparently those books were the only items of any value left from the once glorious Snapes.
"There must be hundreds of books in here!"
"Thousands would be more accurate, I should think."
"It'll take me ages to arrange all these!"
"No, just till dinnertime."
Of all the utterly mad orders Snape had given him, this was by far the most ridiculous, the most unnecessary and the most Snape-ish. It might take Sirius weeks, months even, to put the books in order, and here was Snape, telling him to have it done in a matter of hours. At least his idea of justice was finally becoming clear to Sirius: Snape wanted to make him as insane as he was.
"Because of the visit Dumbledore paid us yesterday," Snape continued, straightening the cloak on his arm, "I'd rather not leave you alone in here for a second. However, thanks to you and your little outburst in my study, I am forced to waste the day" - he coughed, then swallowed hard - "shopping. Therefore I thought it only fitting that you should spend your day doing something equally tiresome."
"Arranging a few thousand books equals one trip to the shops in your mind?"
"Oh, I daresay it does." Snape pulled on his cloak. "And until I give you permission, you are not to leave this room. Enjoy."
With a loud crack and an evil grin, Snape Disapparated from the room.
For a while Sirius merely stared at the endless rows of books, not knowing whether to laugh or laugh hysterically. The job was simply too mad for him to grasp.
"Oh, bollocks!"
Sirius burst into laughter and ran to the nearest shelves. Still chuckling, he pulled out the first books of the row, then pushed his hand behind the rest and swept them all to the floor.
"Order out of chaos, wasn't it?" he muttered between the laughter and proceeded to the next shelf, and then the next, pulling down every book he could reach. Soon the floor was barely visible any more, with scarcely any room to tread on without stepping on some book or other.
Panting, Sirius sat down on a large pile of books and tried his best to calm down.
"Tsk, tsk," said a voice and startled Sirius.
"Snape?" he asked, glancing around the empty room.
"That wasn't exactly wise, was it? How will you ever get them sorted now?"
Sirius' gaze stopped at the fireplace, over which hung the portrait he hated the most in that wretched house. He had completely forgotten that the library was the home of that evil, which meant that Snape's charming little task would present an even bigger challenge on his nerves than he had initially thought.
"Can't you just piss off?" Sirius asked tiredly.
"Come now, that is no way for a house-elf to speak to his Master."
"You're not my Master!"
"Oh, but of course I am!" said the portrait cheerfully. "To serve one Snape is to serve us all."
"How many times do I have to say this?" Sirius hissed, looking down at his knuckles, which were turning whiter by the second. "I'm not a bloody house-elf and Snape's not my Master! I'm a prisoner, for fuck's sake!"
"A prisoner dressed as a house-elf, doing the job of a house-elf?" Gengulphus shook his head. "Denial really gets you nowhere, giant elf."
"I'm not speaking to you any more," Sirius said and turned his back to the picture.
"But you must finish your task or otherwise..." Gengulphus said reproachfully. "Well, you know what happens to disobedient house-elves, and judging by your appearance, I don't think you are in need of any more discipline. I suspect your Master made you do some foul and unnatural things last night..."
"Shut your gob!"
Sirius certainly did not need a reminder of what had happened in Snape's bed. It was all he had been able to think about while lying there, next to the sleeping man, through those long hours of the night.
At first, when the snoring had started, he had nearly felt stupid and even embarrassed that he had actually believed Snape had been about to shag him. Then he had remembered the hardened organ against his arse, clearly indicating that the man really did have some interest in him. Why Snape had not acted on it, Sirius had not been able to figure out, but every time he had thought about it, a disturbingly warm sensation had come over him. That had naturally led him to consider his own reaction to it, the unwanted movement under the tea towel, but like Snape's motives, his own body had remained one annoying mystery to him.
Even now, surrounded by books the bastard had ordered him to arrange, all Sirius could remember from last night was Snape's warm body against his.
Shaking his head, he got up and started to go through the pile he had been sitting on. He needed to do something, anything, to clear his head.
"Right. A's, where the fuck are you?"
"Oh, I see one!" Gengulphus exclaimed. "An ass begins with an A, doesn't it?"
Sirius glared at him, ready to pick up a book and hurl it at the portrait.
"But an arsehole comes before that," he said, grinding his teeth.
"What luck! I also see an ape!"
"Funny, 'cause all I see is a bloody annoyance!"
"Abomination!"
"Arsewipe!"
"You said that already!"
"No, I said arsehole and I'm quite willing to teach you the difference!"
However, Sirius had only taken a couple of steps towards the portrait before Gengulphus escaped into another picture and his laughter echoed from somewhere in the upstairs corridor.
*****
Sirius was just in the middle of convincing Arsenius Jigger's Magical Drafts and Potions that it did indeed belong under the letter A, when there was a sharp knock on the door that made him jump and stumble over a pile of books.
"What was that?" Gengulphus asked from the wall, where he had returned a couple of hours before. Evidently the rest of the house was dull enough for him to risk being sliced to shreds by Sirius.
"That is the sound of my freedom!" Sirius exclaimed and kicked a pitifully moaning book out of his way.
Ploughing through the mess of books, he hurried to the doorway and waited. Perhaps he had merely imagined it, or perhaps it had been that bloody portrait putting one over on him again.
The second time the knocking sounded through the whole house, and there was no longer any doubt that somebody was on the other side of the door and eager to get in.
"Help!" Sirius screamed as loud as he could. "I'm here, Albus! In the library! I can't come to the door!"
There was a loud crack right behind him that nearly knocked him off balance. But when he spun around, already smiling with relief, he found himself face to face with someone quite other than Dumbledore.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't Sirius Black," Malfoy said, stepping over some books to take a better look at him. "And in the flesh, I might add. Do correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you supposed to be dead?"
Sirius glared at the blond man, shocked by his sudden appearance. One would have thought that dying had been the absolute pits, but evidently his luck was only getting worse.
"I would like to be, yes," he said shortly and backed out of Malfoy's reach. "Snape's not here, so if you don't mind..."
"Yes, so I gather," Malfoy cut in, glancing around him. "I shall have to wait. However, the more important question is, why are you here?"
"That's between Snape and myself."
"Oh, I'm sure it is." Malfoy took another step closer, his lips curving into a nasty smile. "Alive and locked in this house, not to mention dressed like a savage and with a collar like a dog. He has made a little plaything for himself, hasn't he? Why, Severus, you old necrophile!"
"I'm not anyone's plaything!" Sirius yelled and took yet another step back. "I'm nothing but a bloody house-elf!"
From above the fireplace, Sirius could hear Gengulphus' muffled yet triumphant laughter.
"Oh, come now," Malfoy said, running his hand down Sirius' cheek. "Surely Severus has had his fun with you?"
Sirius opened his mouth to say something sharp and witty, but still backing away, he tripped over a pile of books and fell on his back on top of them.
Malfoy's smile broadened as he leant over Sirius.
"Isn't it the duty of a house-elf to entertain his master's guests?" he asked pleasantly as he grabbed Sirius by the collar and held him still.
"Don't touch me," Sirius hissed, trying to sound as defiant as possible while struggling hard to get up and out of Malfoy's reach.
"You don't seem to understand," Malfoy continued in the same, sweet voice. "Severus and I have a sort of an understanding, and therefore what is his, is mine and what is mine... Well, there it is, really."
Sirius had managed to get back on his feet and stood face to face with the bastard still holding on to the collar.
"I'm not his," he hissed and spat in Malfoy's face.
Malfoy gave the collar a sharp jerk that sent Sirius down on his knees in front of him.
"Be that as it may," Malfoy carried on, wiping his face rather calmly and sitting down in the armchair next to him, the only piece of furniture not buried in books, "I'm certain we can come up with something for you to do while I wait."
With one hand still tightly on Sirius' collar, the other disappeared inside his robes and pulled out his half-erect cock.
"Don't you fucking touch me!" Sirius shouted, staring at the cock only inches from his face.
"No, I don't believe I shall." Malfoy's gaze travelled down Sirius' body and a distasteful look swept over his face. "You are absolutely filthy, aren't you? I wonder what sordid things he's done to you."
"Nothing!" Sirius snarled in a voice he did not recognise as his own. "He's done nothing to me."
For a brief moment Malfoy and the books and the room seemed to become blurred, and Sirius' mind was filled with images of the past few days: waking up in Snape's bed; crawling on hands and knees in the library; lying half-dead, half-alive on the floor of practically every room in the house; and finally, spending two whole nights next to Snape. He had had all those opportunities, and yet Sirius could still say that he had done nothing to him. Apart from the excessive dying, of course.
"At least you're not as greasy as him," Malfoy said, pushing his hand into Sirius' hair and pulling him back into reality.
All of a sudden, it dawned upon Sirius that he did not have to do anything Malfoy would have him do - he was not his Master and the collar would not react to any of his orders. He was almost angry with himself for not realising it sooner, but he was all the more determined to make up for the lost time.
"Fuck off, Malfoy!" Sirius yelled and tore himself free of his hold. "You keep that thing away from me!" He stood up as fast as he could and turned to leave.
However, he did not get far.
"Crucio."
Screaming and convulsing, Sirius fell down on top of the books. The pain blackened the world in his eyes and took his breath away, his body shaking uncontrollably.
When he opened his eyes again, he found himself lying at Malfoy's feet.
"Ready to suck me off now?" Malfoy asked lightly, leaning back in the armchair, his wand in one hand and his now fully erect prick in the other.
"No!"
"You're quite right, it's rather more entertaining this way. Crucio."
Again Sirius felt the excruciating pain surging through his body and he curled up on the floor. After what seemed like forever, the spasms eased, and he lay still, panting heavily. But before he knew it, he felt a pull at his collar and was forced up on his knees.
"Suck it," said Malfoy's voice, as the slightly curved cock appeared in front of him. "Lick it, unless you want to suffer the Cruciatus for the third time."
"I'll take the curse, if you don't mind," Sirius whispered weakly.
Malfoy, however, did not seem to be willing to give up that easily. He shoved his cock straight onto Sirius' lips and began smearing them with the leaking semen.
"Open up, you dead piece of scum!"
Sirius tried to pull away and saw Malfoy lift his wand again. However, this time it was not the Cruciatus Curse he uttered.
"Incarcerous!"
The ropes spurted out of the wand and Sirius soon found his arms tied to his sides, rendering him completely helpless.
"Open your mouth!"
Suddenly Sirius had a recollection of a similar situation, which had taken place at that very spot not more than three days ago. Then, he had threatened to bite Snape's cock off, and now he had the opportunity to have Malfoy go through the rest of his life without the use of his member. It was simply too good to pass up.
Slowly Sirius opened his mouth, and swallowed the throbbing prick.
"There's a good boy," Malfoy breathed and grabbed hold of Sirius' hair again. "Now, suck it."
But Sirius was still waiting, taking the cock further and further in until it was touching the back of his throat. He was just preparing to bite his teeth together and cut off Malfoy's filthy cock for good when it started.
It had happened so many times before that Sirius knew from the first movement of the collar that his death would be swift. However, this time the panic hit even harder, as he was far more helpless than before, with his hands tied behind his back and with Malfoy holding onto his hair, keeping his head in place. It seemed that the man did not even notice what was happening, and he merely pushed his prick deeper into Sirius' mouth. Twitching and shaking, Sirius tried to concentrate on the most important thing, but his muscles were no longer responding and he simply could not bite his teeth together.
The last thing Sirius saw was the dark figure of Snape standing in the doorway, and then, with Malfoy's cock still in his mouth, he died.
*****
As always, the first breath of air startled Sirius and for a while he just lay there, gasping in shock. The ropes seemed to have disappeared along with the cock, both of which he considered to be quite an improvement. He could see the feet of two men, standing close by, but after the Cruciatus and the dying, he was still too weak to get up and run. Not that it would have made much of a difference and would have only led to another dying spree, but staying put was not much of an option, either, when there were two men in the room that hated his guts.
"I'm afraid it happens quite at random, Lucius."
"Rather inconvenient. It was quite a shock to find a corpse hanging from one's member."
"Yes, and I do apologise for that. Black was supposed to be merely a test, but as you can see, it has sadly failed."
"You are certain there's no way around that collar?"
"I have done everything in my power - to no avail."
"Such a pity, Severus. That spell would certainly have been useful in our fight for the Dark Lord. There are several among the dead that I would have gladly seen back in our number."
"That was my intention, but the Exmortuis Spell has proved utterly useless, as you can see for yourself. Black is of no use to anyone in that state. Not that he ever was."
Sirius pushed himself up and glared at Snape but thought it best not to protest too loudly.
"Shall we go then?" Malfoy asked with a hint of impatience in his voice.
"Naturally."
Snape gestured him towards the door, but before leaving himself, he turned to Sirius and snarled, "What have you done to my library, you dim-witted nuisance? I don't want to see you before this job is done!"
Sirius did not know what to say but had no time to say it anyway, before Snape had already swept out of the room and after Malfoy.
*****
"Bloody hell!"
A Darker Side to the Dark Side flew in a perfect arch across the room and landed somewhere behind a mountain of books, naturally knocking all of them over in the process.
"It begins with an A, doesn't it? Stupid bloody book."
Sirius had spent hours in the library, supposedly arranging the books, but in fact mostly just kicking and tossing them from one pile to the next. It now seemed doubtful that his strategy of going through every stack of books in search of one letter had been the wisest of choices. For one, it had taken him hours to find all the A's, not to mention a lot of convincing, as there still seemed to be plenty of books that thought they knew better under which letter they belonged. In three hours, he had succeeded in filling only one single shelf with books starting more or less with the letter A, whereas the rest of the room was in just as much chaos as it had been before Malfoy's arrival.
The sun was already setting, but Snape and Malfoy were still upstairs, doing what ever it was they were doing. After much deliberation Sirius had come to the conclusion that there were three alternatives.
Firstly, Snape might be having quite a friendly conversation with Malfoy only to find out some possibly valuable piece of information in the interest of the Order. However, the opposite might just as well be true, which would mean that the old Death Eater in Snape had lifted its ugly head again, and he was conniving some evil plot to wipe out the Order once and for all.
The third option was the one Sirius wanted to think about the least of all and might well be included in either of the first two. It was the nature of the 'entertainment' that Malfoy had did his best to force him into, that had led him to believe the man was there after something quite different from either a foe or an ally.
Sirius had thought about going up there to ask about dinner, which was already well overdue, but as Snape still had not given him permission to leave the library, he had had no choice but to stay put. Also, he had no desire to see for himself which of the three scenarios was true. For some reason, Sirius found it far too distressing to picture what might be happening between those two Death Eaters, and every attempt at it only ended up with another book being taught how to fly.
Bending over once more, he picked up The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts - from which the word 'Fall' had been scratched away - and prepared to throw it over his shoulder.
"Black."
Sirius' hand stopped in midair, holding the book high over his head. The sound had been very faint, barely more than a whisper, and in all likelihood it had merely been Gengulphus, defying his threats of clawing the portrait to shreds if he made another sound.
"Black!"
The shout was louder now, and Sirius followed it to the door. He would have to be certain that Snape was in fact calling for him, because otherwise he would only end up dead as soon as he stepped out of the room.
"Black!"
The urgency in Snape's voice was clear enough, hurrying Sirius over the threshold and up the stairs, two steps at a time. He headed straight for the study, but just as he was passing the bedroom, there was another shout, which left no doubt in his mind as to where it was coming from.
He pushed the door to the bedroom open and froze on the doorstep. There was Snape, lying completely naked on his stomach, tied to the four bedposts by his wrists and ankles. His white skin glowed against the black of the sheets as he struggled furiously in the ropes. Malfoy was nowhere to be seen, and Sirius wondered how long it had been since he had Disapparated.
He stumbled over the bundle of clothes and walked closer, his heart beating faster than when he was still alive. All he could think was that while he had been downstairs arranging books in alphabetical order, Malfoy had been up there, fucking his Master.
"Black. Let me go," Snape panted, his face flushed from the evidently vigorous attempts to free himself.
"That bastard," Sirius muttered, still in shock. "That bloody bastard. What the fuck did he do to you?"
Trying to vanquish the picture of Malfoy forcing himself on Snape from his mind, Sirius hurried to tear the ropes off that instant. But Snape's words stopped him by the foot of the bed.
"What I do and with whom is hardly your concern."
Sirius looked down at his naked body, suddenly feeling sick.
"You mean to tell me that you wanted this?" he asked in disbelief.
"Lucius and I have an understanding which goes far beyond your comprehension."
The picture in Sirius' mind was slowly changing: he could now see the pleasure on Snape's face when Malfoy conjured the ropes and tied him to the bed; he could hear him moan as his lover took out that filthy cock of his, which only moments before had been in Sirius' mouth, and shoved it up his arse.
"I'm ordering you to untie me at once, and I don't think I need to tell you what will happen if you refuse!"
"What will happen is that I'll kick the bucket again and you'll still be right there in those ropes." Sirius said between his clenched teeth. "And that's not what you want, is it?"
He waited for the collar to start tightening, but it stayed as inanimate as it ever was.
"I didn't think so," Sirius said scornfully. "You see, it really doesn't matter what kind of a bloody death feast you put me through. I honestly don't care any more."
A ball of anger had started to build up inside of him, twisting his stomach and making it impossible for him to think straight. He had enough reason to hate Snape for bringing him back from the dead, for humiliating and punishing him for something that had happened years ago, and he had been quite willing to make him join the ranks of the dead for that Super-bloody-Chloride alone. Yet it was none of those reasons that was causing his rage to burst.
All it took were a few tiny drops glistening on Snape's arse, the memento from Lucius Malfoy dripping out of him.
"An understanding, eh?" he said, climbing onto the bed between Snape's spread legs and fingering the rope around his ankle, but making no attempt to actually unfasten it. "Which is, of course, that he comes here whenever he's in the mood for a quick shag and you uncross your legs accordingly?"
"Shut it."
Without much thought, Sirius let his hand ran over the knot and slowly up Snape's thigh.
"You let him touch you with his filthy hands," he muttered, staring at the white skin as if to find Malfoy's fingerprints on it, "let him shove his dirty cock up your arse..."
"Quiet."
"Do you enjoy it?"
Sirius' hand had stopped on Snape's arse and he was rubbing it gently with his fingers.
"Just untie the ropes, Black."
"Do you enjoy it when he fucks your brains out?"
His fingers dug deeper into Snape's flesh, leaving red trails after them.
"The ropes!"
"Tell me!" Sirius demanded and slapped Snape on the arse. "Do you enjoy it?!"
"Yes!" Snape shrieked. "I enjoy it, damn it! Now untie these blasted ropes!"
In an instant, Sirius had crawled on top of him and was pressing himself against the naked body. There were bite marks on his neck, and Malfoy's scent still lingered on his skin.
"Get off me!"
"So, this is how you get off?" Sirius whispered into his ear, rubbing his groin against his arse. "You like it when he ties you up and touches you and fucks you..."
"Apparently, so do you," Snape said wryly and made Sirius halt. "Or is that simply rigor mortis?"
Before then, Sirius had not even noticed his arousal from his anger. He had no idea what his body found so exciting in that situation; it was as if his rage was filling every part of him, including his extremities.
"Could happen to any dead man," he muttered.
A sudden urge to press his erection between Snape's buttocks came over him, and without much thinking, he jerked the tea towel aside, leaving nothing between their skins. The man flinched under his body as Sirius shoved his cock in his crack, but said nothing.
"Not too nice lying there, is it? Especially as it's now I who has 'the weapon with which to ravish you.' The tables have certainly been turned, eh?"
Snape stayed quiet, breathing heavily, and Sirius could feel his body grow more and more rigid underneath him.
"All this time you've made it clear that you could just take me, make me do whatever you wanted. Yet you never did. And why would you, when you have Lucius Malfoy to shag you!"
"Black..." Snape started but fell silent again.
"Just admit it," Sirius hissed into his ear. "You never had any intention of shagging me, did you?"
"No," Snape said quietly. "You're absolutely right, I didn't."
"No, you just let me think that! It was all part of your twisted mind-fucking!" Sirius' every muscle was so strained that he was starting to shake. "All you wanted was his arse, not mine!"
"Stop this nonsense and untie me, Black." Snape's voice was barely audible any more. "You don't want to do this."
"How the fuck do you know that?!" Sirius roared. "How do you know that this isn't exactly what I want?! Maybe I want to do to you what you've been threatening to do to me ever since I got here, add my dead sperm to that of the Death Eater's!" He reached down and gripped his throbbing prick, rubbing it between Snape's buttocks. "Feel that? That's me, not him!"
"You will be dead the moment..."
But Sirius had already found Snape's hole, and with the help of Malfoy's sperm, he shoved his cock inside with one hard push. There was only a quiet gasp from Snape, whose whole body seemed to stiffen under Sirius, his buttocks clenched together and his fingers wrapped around the ropes binding him to the bed. For a while Sirius just lay still, waiting for something to happen but not quite knowing any more what it was supposed to be. But the tightness around his cock was too much for him, and so again he thrust into Snape, forcing out a low groan from Snape's throat as well as from his own. At that moment, he felt more alive than when still living.
All Sirius could sense any more was Snape's arse, his flesh so tight around his, the pleasure of it by far surpassing all the women he had ever shagged combined. Somewhere at the back of his mind was a voice saying that it was a man under him, and what was more, the man had not exactly agreed to any of it. But the voice was quickly drowned by the feel of Snape's skin as Sirius let his hands travel along the naked body, touching anything and everything he could reach.
Burying his face into Snape's neck, he again smelled the foreign scent of the man that had come before him. Vigorously he rubbed his skin against Snape's, even reaching to touch his hands so as to cover every inch of the man's arms with his.
"My smell... not his..." he hissed as he pushed himself into Snape again and again, the warm body shivering slightly underneath him. "Mine... Not his... Mine..." Feeling his climax approaching, he took hold of Snape's hair to keep him still and banged against him faster and faster. "You... bloody... Death Eat--!"
Before he could finish the last word, Sirius came inside Snape, and still opening and closing his mouth, he fell limp on top of him.
"Black?"
Snape's voice shook Sirius back to life.
"Yes?"
"Untie me."
"Oh. Right."
Feeling completely numb, Sirius pulled out of the man and jumped up to his feet. As quickly as he could, he untied Snape and watched him wrap himself in the black sheet.
Sirius was just about to slip out of the door when Snape suddenly sprang to his feet and strode to him. He grabbed hold of Sirius' head with both hands, dropping his sheet in the process, and pressed him against the wall. Sirius had time to catch a glimpse of his naked body before his head was forced back, and was immediately certain he had seen wrong.
"Damn you," Snape hissed between his teeth, his eyes burning like two black tar pits.
It was not the first time Sirius had seen that look in his eyes, but this time it was even fierier than it had been on that stormy night. But despite the flaming eyes, Sirius had the strangest feeling that the man was about to kiss him. Snape's gaze kept shifting from his eyes to his lips and back again, and yet the hold on Sirius' head only tightened. It almost seemed as if he was making every effort to hold himself back, his mouth clenched tightly shut, and his hands practically shaking on Sirius' cheeks. And as Snape pressed himself against him, he was sure he felt something brush against his thigh.
"Damn you to hell."
Once more he glanced at Sirius' mouth, and in the next instant he stepped back, picked up his sheet and wrapped it around him.
"I'll better get the dinner started," Sirius said awkwardly and made for the door.
"No," Snape said simply, his back turned to him. "No dinner."
Without another word, Sirius staggered out of the room.
It was only back in the library that the significance of what he had done hit him, and burying his face in his hands he collapsed down on a pile of books. It all seemed like a dream now, everything had happened far too fast for him to grasp it, and yet only one look under his tea towel was needed to prove that it had indeed been real.
A number of questions were flashing through his mind, none of them with much sense and all of them without an answer. No matter how hard he tried, he could not understand why the thought of Snape having it off with Malfoy had made him so furious in the first place, or why the hell his body had reacted the way it had to someone he absolutely despised. For over four days he had kept worrying about his own arse, and now he had forced himself into Snape's. How the hell could the tables have turned so quickly and so entirely without the rest of house tumbling down? None of it made any sense, which was, of course, something that had characterised the whole of his life-after-afterlife.
Thinking about the house reminded Sirius of the cupboard, and the cupboard reminded him of the engravings on its walls.
"Fucking hell," Sirius whispered to himself. "I just raped a victim of sexual abuse. People like me shouldn't be allowed to live."
That was when it hit him, and Sirius felt almost ashamed that it had not occurred to him sooner.
Yes, he had shagged Snape, that much was true, but what was rather more important was that he had done it without dying.
*****
On to the next chapter...
(Okay, to tell you the truth, I wasn't any quicker - fluffyllama was and I love her for it:)
Title: Die a Little - Day Five
Author: Kleio
Rating: NC-17 (and finally I mean it!;)
Pairing: SS/SB
Summary: "Isn't it the duty of a house-elf to entertain his master's guests?" Malfoy asked pleasantly as he grabbed Sirius by the collar and held him still.
Notes: Again, I owe a mountain of gratitude to fluffyllama for the beta and to trobadora for all her help and advice - I love you both dearly!:)
Day Five
"Here."
"Is this a game?"
"No, you nitwit. This is the library."
"You see, that's pretty much why I asked - because I know this is the bloody library!"
"Splendid. And how about the alphabet?"
"What about it?"
"Do you know it?"
"Bloody hell, Snape! Can't you just say what the fuck you want me to do?"
"It is perfectly simple. I want you to put these books in alphabetical order. By title rather than by author as I'm quite hopeless with names."
Sirius swirled around, measuring the length of the shelves with his gaze. Every wall of the library was covered with books all the way up to the ceiling, and a ladder was leaning against the shelves, without which it would have been impossible to reach the ones higher up. Apparently those books were the only items of any value left from the once glorious Snapes.
"There must be hundreds of books in here!"
"Thousands would be more accurate, I should think."
"It'll take me ages to arrange all these!"
"No, just till dinnertime."
Of all the utterly mad orders Snape had given him, this was by far the most ridiculous, the most unnecessary and the most Snape-ish. It might take Sirius weeks, months even, to put the books in order, and here was Snape, telling him to have it done in a matter of hours. At least his idea of justice was finally becoming clear to Sirius: Snape wanted to make him as insane as he was.
"Because of the visit Dumbledore paid us yesterday," Snape continued, straightening the cloak on his arm, "I'd rather not leave you alone in here for a second. However, thanks to you and your little outburst in my study, I am forced to waste the day" - he coughed, then swallowed hard - "shopping. Therefore I thought it only fitting that you should spend your day doing something equally tiresome."
"Arranging a few thousand books equals one trip to the shops in your mind?"
"Oh, I daresay it does." Snape pulled on his cloak. "And until I give you permission, you are not to leave this room. Enjoy."
With a loud crack and an evil grin, Snape Disapparated from the room.
For a while Sirius merely stared at the endless rows of books, not knowing whether to laugh or laugh hysterically. The job was simply too mad for him to grasp.
"Oh, bollocks!"
Sirius burst into laughter and ran to the nearest shelves. Still chuckling, he pulled out the first books of the row, then pushed his hand behind the rest and swept them all to the floor.
"Order out of chaos, wasn't it?" he muttered between the laughter and proceeded to the next shelf, and then the next, pulling down every book he could reach. Soon the floor was barely visible any more, with scarcely any room to tread on without stepping on some book or other.
Panting, Sirius sat down on a large pile of books and tried his best to calm down.
"Tsk, tsk," said a voice and startled Sirius.
"Snape?" he asked, glancing around the empty room.
"That wasn't exactly wise, was it? How will you ever get them sorted now?"
Sirius' gaze stopped at the fireplace, over which hung the portrait he hated the most in that wretched house. He had completely forgotten that the library was the home of that evil, which meant that Snape's charming little task would present an even bigger challenge on his nerves than he had initially thought.
"Can't you just piss off?" Sirius asked tiredly.
"Come now, that is no way for a house-elf to speak to his Master."
"You're not my Master!"
"Oh, but of course I am!" said the portrait cheerfully. "To serve one Snape is to serve us all."
"How many times do I have to say this?" Sirius hissed, looking down at his knuckles, which were turning whiter by the second. "I'm not a bloody house-elf and Snape's not my Master! I'm a prisoner, for fuck's sake!"
"A prisoner dressed as a house-elf, doing the job of a house-elf?" Gengulphus shook his head. "Denial really gets you nowhere, giant elf."
"I'm not speaking to you any more," Sirius said and turned his back to the picture.
"But you must finish your task or otherwise..." Gengulphus said reproachfully. "Well, you know what happens to disobedient house-elves, and judging by your appearance, I don't think you are in need of any more discipline. I suspect your Master made you do some foul and unnatural things last night..."
"Shut your gob!"
Sirius certainly did not need a reminder of what had happened in Snape's bed. It was all he had been able to think about while lying there, next to the sleeping man, through those long hours of the night.
At first, when the snoring had started, he had nearly felt stupid and even embarrassed that he had actually believed Snape had been about to shag him. Then he had remembered the hardened organ against his arse, clearly indicating that the man really did have some interest in him. Why Snape had not acted on it, Sirius had not been able to figure out, but every time he had thought about it, a disturbingly warm sensation had come over him. That had naturally led him to consider his own reaction to it, the unwanted movement under the tea towel, but like Snape's motives, his own body had remained one annoying mystery to him.
Even now, surrounded by books the bastard had ordered him to arrange, all Sirius could remember from last night was Snape's warm body against his.
Shaking his head, he got up and started to go through the pile he had been sitting on. He needed to do something, anything, to clear his head.
"Right. A's, where the fuck are you?"
"Oh, I see one!" Gengulphus exclaimed. "An ass begins with an A, doesn't it?"
Sirius glared at him, ready to pick up a book and hurl it at the portrait.
"But an arsehole comes before that," he said, grinding his teeth.
"What luck! I also see an ape!"
"Funny, 'cause all I see is a bloody annoyance!"
"Abomination!"
"Arsewipe!"
"You said that already!"
"No, I said arsehole and I'm quite willing to teach you the difference!"
However, Sirius had only taken a couple of steps towards the portrait before Gengulphus escaped into another picture and his laughter echoed from somewhere in the upstairs corridor.
*****
Sirius was just in the middle of convincing Arsenius Jigger's Magical Drafts and Potions that it did indeed belong under the letter A, when there was a sharp knock on the door that made him jump and stumble over a pile of books.
"What was that?" Gengulphus asked from the wall, where he had returned a couple of hours before. Evidently the rest of the house was dull enough for him to risk being sliced to shreds by Sirius.
"That is the sound of my freedom!" Sirius exclaimed and kicked a pitifully moaning book out of his way.
Ploughing through the mess of books, he hurried to the doorway and waited. Perhaps he had merely imagined it, or perhaps it had been that bloody portrait putting one over on him again.
The second time the knocking sounded through the whole house, and there was no longer any doubt that somebody was on the other side of the door and eager to get in.
"Help!" Sirius screamed as loud as he could. "I'm here, Albus! In the library! I can't come to the door!"
There was a loud crack right behind him that nearly knocked him off balance. But when he spun around, already smiling with relief, he found himself face to face with someone quite other than Dumbledore.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't Sirius Black," Malfoy said, stepping over some books to take a better look at him. "And in the flesh, I might add. Do correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you supposed to be dead?"
Sirius glared at the blond man, shocked by his sudden appearance. One would have thought that dying had been the absolute pits, but evidently his luck was only getting worse.
"I would like to be, yes," he said shortly and backed out of Malfoy's reach. "Snape's not here, so if you don't mind..."
"Yes, so I gather," Malfoy cut in, glancing around him. "I shall have to wait. However, the more important question is, why are you here?"
"That's between Snape and myself."
"Oh, I'm sure it is." Malfoy took another step closer, his lips curving into a nasty smile. "Alive and locked in this house, not to mention dressed like a savage and with a collar like a dog. He has made a little plaything for himself, hasn't he? Why, Severus, you old necrophile!"
"I'm not anyone's plaything!" Sirius yelled and took yet another step back. "I'm nothing but a bloody house-elf!"
From above the fireplace, Sirius could hear Gengulphus' muffled yet triumphant laughter.
"Oh, come now," Malfoy said, running his hand down Sirius' cheek. "Surely Severus has had his fun with you?"
Sirius opened his mouth to say something sharp and witty, but still backing away, he tripped over a pile of books and fell on his back on top of them.
Malfoy's smile broadened as he leant over Sirius.
"Isn't it the duty of a house-elf to entertain his master's guests?" he asked pleasantly as he grabbed Sirius by the collar and held him still.
"Don't touch me," Sirius hissed, trying to sound as defiant as possible while struggling hard to get up and out of Malfoy's reach.
"You don't seem to understand," Malfoy continued in the same, sweet voice. "Severus and I have a sort of an understanding, and therefore what is his, is mine and what is mine... Well, there it is, really."
Sirius had managed to get back on his feet and stood face to face with the bastard still holding on to the collar.
"I'm not his," he hissed and spat in Malfoy's face.
Malfoy gave the collar a sharp jerk that sent Sirius down on his knees in front of him.
"Be that as it may," Malfoy carried on, wiping his face rather calmly and sitting down in the armchair next to him, the only piece of furniture not buried in books, "I'm certain we can come up with something for you to do while I wait."
With one hand still tightly on Sirius' collar, the other disappeared inside his robes and pulled out his half-erect cock.
"Don't you fucking touch me!" Sirius shouted, staring at the cock only inches from his face.
"No, I don't believe I shall." Malfoy's gaze travelled down Sirius' body and a distasteful look swept over his face. "You are absolutely filthy, aren't you? I wonder what sordid things he's done to you."
"Nothing!" Sirius snarled in a voice he did not recognise as his own. "He's done nothing to me."
For a brief moment Malfoy and the books and the room seemed to become blurred, and Sirius' mind was filled with images of the past few days: waking up in Snape's bed; crawling on hands and knees in the library; lying half-dead, half-alive on the floor of practically every room in the house; and finally, spending two whole nights next to Snape. He had had all those opportunities, and yet Sirius could still say that he had done nothing to him. Apart from the excessive dying, of course.
"At least you're not as greasy as him," Malfoy said, pushing his hand into Sirius' hair and pulling him back into reality.
All of a sudden, it dawned upon Sirius that he did not have to do anything Malfoy would have him do - he was not his Master and the collar would not react to any of his orders. He was almost angry with himself for not realising it sooner, but he was all the more determined to make up for the lost time.
"Fuck off, Malfoy!" Sirius yelled and tore himself free of his hold. "You keep that thing away from me!" He stood up as fast as he could and turned to leave.
However, he did not get far.
"Crucio."
Screaming and convulsing, Sirius fell down on top of the books. The pain blackened the world in his eyes and took his breath away, his body shaking uncontrollably.
When he opened his eyes again, he found himself lying at Malfoy's feet.
"Ready to suck me off now?" Malfoy asked lightly, leaning back in the armchair, his wand in one hand and his now fully erect prick in the other.
"No!"
"You're quite right, it's rather more entertaining this way. Crucio."
Again Sirius felt the excruciating pain surging through his body and he curled up on the floor. After what seemed like forever, the spasms eased, and he lay still, panting heavily. But before he knew it, he felt a pull at his collar and was forced up on his knees.
"Suck it," said Malfoy's voice, as the slightly curved cock appeared in front of him. "Lick it, unless you want to suffer the Cruciatus for the third time."
"I'll take the curse, if you don't mind," Sirius whispered weakly.
Malfoy, however, did not seem to be willing to give up that easily. He shoved his cock straight onto Sirius' lips and began smearing them with the leaking semen.
"Open up, you dead piece of scum!"
Sirius tried to pull away and saw Malfoy lift his wand again. However, this time it was not the Cruciatus Curse he uttered.
"Incarcerous!"
The ropes spurted out of the wand and Sirius soon found his arms tied to his sides, rendering him completely helpless.
"Open your mouth!"
Suddenly Sirius had a recollection of a similar situation, which had taken place at that very spot not more than three days ago. Then, he had threatened to bite Snape's cock off, and now he had the opportunity to have Malfoy go through the rest of his life without the use of his member. It was simply too good to pass up.
Slowly Sirius opened his mouth, and swallowed the throbbing prick.
"There's a good boy," Malfoy breathed and grabbed hold of Sirius' hair again. "Now, suck it."
But Sirius was still waiting, taking the cock further and further in until it was touching the back of his throat. He was just preparing to bite his teeth together and cut off Malfoy's filthy cock for good when it started.
It had happened so many times before that Sirius knew from the first movement of the collar that his death would be swift. However, this time the panic hit even harder, as he was far more helpless than before, with his hands tied behind his back and with Malfoy holding onto his hair, keeping his head in place. It seemed that the man did not even notice what was happening, and he merely pushed his prick deeper into Sirius' mouth. Twitching and shaking, Sirius tried to concentrate on the most important thing, but his muscles were no longer responding and he simply could not bite his teeth together.
The last thing Sirius saw was the dark figure of Snape standing in the doorway, and then, with Malfoy's cock still in his mouth, he died.
*****
As always, the first breath of air startled Sirius and for a while he just lay there, gasping in shock. The ropes seemed to have disappeared along with the cock, both of which he considered to be quite an improvement. He could see the feet of two men, standing close by, but after the Cruciatus and the dying, he was still too weak to get up and run. Not that it would have made much of a difference and would have only led to another dying spree, but staying put was not much of an option, either, when there were two men in the room that hated his guts.
"I'm afraid it happens quite at random, Lucius."
"Rather inconvenient. It was quite a shock to find a corpse hanging from one's member."
"Yes, and I do apologise for that. Black was supposed to be merely a test, but as you can see, it has sadly failed."
"You are certain there's no way around that collar?"
"I have done everything in my power - to no avail."
"Such a pity, Severus. That spell would certainly have been useful in our fight for the Dark Lord. There are several among the dead that I would have gladly seen back in our number."
"That was my intention, but the Exmortuis Spell has proved utterly useless, as you can see for yourself. Black is of no use to anyone in that state. Not that he ever was."
Sirius pushed himself up and glared at Snape but thought it best not to protest too loudly.
"Shall we go then?" Malfoy asked with a hint of impatience in his voice.
"Naturally."
Snape gestured him towards the door, but before leaving himself, he turned to Sirius and snarled, "What have you done to my library, you dim-witted nuisance? I don't want to see you before this job is done!"
Sirius did not know what to say but had no time to say it anyway, before Snape had already swept out of the room and after Malfoy.
*****
"Bloody hell!"
A Darker Side to the Dark Side flew in a perfect arch across the room and landed somewhere behind a mountain of books, naturally knocking all of them over in the process.
"It begins with an A, doesn't it? Stupid bloody book."
Sirius had spent hours in the library, supposedly arranging the books, but in fact mostly just kicking and tossing them from one pile to the next. It now seemed doubtful that his strategy of going through every stack of books in search of one letter had been the wisest of choices. For one, it had taken him hours to find all the A's, not to mention a lot of convincing, as there still seemed to be plenty of books that thought they knew better under which letter they belonged. In three hours, he had succeeded in filling only one single shelf with books starting more or less with the letter A, whereas the rest of the room was in just as much chaos as it had been before Malfoy's arrival.
The sun was already setting, but Snape and Malfoy were still upstairs, doing what ever it was they were doing. After much deliberation Sirius had come to the conclusion that there were three alternatives.
Firstly, Snape might be having quite a friendly conversation with Malfoy only to find out some possibly valuable piece of information in the interest of the Order. However, the opposite might just as well be true, which would mean that the old Death Eater in Snape had lifted its ugly head again, and he was conniving some evil plot to wipe out the Order once and for all.
The third option was the one Sirius wanted to think about the least of all and might well be included in either of the first two. It was the nature of the 'entertainment' that Malfoy had did his best to force him into, that had led him to believe the man was there after something quite different from either a foe or an ally.
Sirius had thought about going up there to ask about dinner, which was already well overdue, but as Snape still had not given him permission to leave the library, he had had no choice but to stay put. Also, he had no desire to see for himself which of the three scenarios was true. For some reason, Sirius found it far too distressing to picture what might be happening between those two Death Eaters, and every attempt at it only ended up with another book being taught how to fly.
Bending over once more, he picked up The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts - from which the word 'Fall' had been scratched away - and prepared to throw it over his shoulder.
"Black."
Sirius' hand stopped in midair, holding the book high over his head. The sound had been very faint, barely more than a whisper, and in all likelihood it had merely been Gengulphus, defying his threats of clawing the portrait to shreds if he made another sound.
"Black!"
The shout was louder now, and Sirius followed it to the door. He would have to be certain that Snape was in fact calling for him, because otherwise he would only end up dead as soon as he stepped out of the room.
"Black!"
The urgency in Snape's voice was clear enough, hurrying Sirius over the threshold and up the stairs, two steps at a time. He headed straight for the study, but just as he was passing the bedroom, there was another shout, which left no doubt in his mind as to where it was coming from.
He pushed the door to the bedroom open and froze on the doorstep. There was Snape, lying completely naked on his stomach, tied to the four bedposts by his wrists and ankles. His white skin glowed against the black of the sheets as he struggled furiously in the ropes. Malfoy was nowhere to be seen, and Sirius wondered how long it had been since he had Disapparated.
He stumbled over the bundle of clothes and walked closer, his heart beating faster than when he was still alive. All he could think was that while he had been downstairs arranging books in alphabetical order, Malfoy had been up there, fucking his Master.
"Black. Let me go," Snape panted, his face flushed from the evidently vigorous attempts to free himself.
"That bastard," Sirius muttered, still in shock. "That bloody bastard. What the fuck did he do to you?"
Trying to vanquish the picture of Malfoy forcing himself on Snape from his mind, Sirius hurried to tear the ropes off that instant. But Snape's words stopped him by the foot of the bed.
"What I do and with whom is hardly your concern."
Sirius looked down at his naked body, suddenly feeling sick.
"You mean to tell me that you wanted this?" he asked in disbelief.
"Lucius and I have an understanding which goes far beyond your comprehension."
The picture in Sirius' mind was slowly changing: he could now see the pleasure on Snape's face when Malfoy conjured the ropes and tied him to the bed; he could hear him moan as his lover took out that filthy cock of his, which only moments before had been in Sirius' mouth, and shoved it up his arse.
"I'm ordering you to untie me at once, and I don't think I need to tell you what will happen if you refuse!"
"What will happen is that I'll kick the bucket again and you'll still be right there in those ropes." Sirius said between his clenched teeth. "And that's not what you want, is it?"
He waited for the collar to start tightening, but it stayed as inanimate as it ever was.
"I didn't think so," Sirius said scornfully. "You see, it really doesn't matter what kind of a bloody death feast you put me through. I honestly don't care any more."
A ball of anger had started to build up inside of him, twisting his stomach and making it impossible for him to think straight. He had enough reason to hate Snape for bringing him back from the dead, for humiliating and punishing him for something that had happened years ago, and he had been quite willing to make him join the ranks of the dead for that Super-bloody-Chloride alone. Yet it was none of those reasons that was causing his rage to burst.
All it took were a few tiny drops glistening on Snape's arse, the memento from Lucius Malfoy dripping out of him.
"An understanding, eh?" he said, climbing onto the bed between Snape's spread legs and fingering the rope around his ankle, but making no attempt to actually unfasten it. "Which is, of course, that he comes here whenever he's in the mood for a quick shag and you uncross your legs accordingly?"
"Shut it."
Without much thought, Sirius let his hand ran over the knot and slowly up Snape's thigh.
"You let him touch you with his filthy hands," he muttered, staring at the white skin as if to find Malfoy's fingerprints on it, "let him shove his dirty cock up your arse..."
"Quiet."
"Do you enjoy it?"
Sirius' hand had stopped on Snape's arse and he was rubbing it gently with his fingers.
"Just untie the ropes, Black."
"Do you enjoy it when he fucks your brains out?"
His fingers dug deeper into Snape's flesh, leaving red trails after them.
"The ropes!"
"Tell me!" Sirius demanded and slapped Snape on the arse. "Do you enjoy it?!"
"Yes!" Snape shrieked. "I enjoy it, damn it! Now untie these blasted ropes!"
In an instant, Sirius had crawled on top of him and was pressing himself against the naked body. There were bite marks on his neck, and Malfoy's scent still lingered on his skin.
"Get off me!"
"So, this is how you get off?" Sirius whispered into his ear, rubbing his groin against his arse. "You like it when he ties you up and touches you and fucks you..."
"Apparently, so do you," Snape said wryly and made Sirius halt. "Or is that simply rigor mortis?"
Before then, Sirius had not even noticed his arousal from his anger. He had no idea what his body found so exciting in that situation; it was as if his rage was filling every part of him, including his extremities.
"Could happen to any dead man," he muttered.
A sudden urge to press his erection between Snape's buttocks came over him, and without much thinking, he jerked the tea towel aside, leaving nothing between their skins. The man flinched under his body as Sirius shoved his cock in his crack, but said nothing.
"Not too nice lying there, is it? Especially as it's now I who has 'the weapon with which to ravish you.' The tables have certainly been turned, eh?"
Snape stayed quiet, breathing heavily, and Sirius could feel his body grow more and more rigid underneath him.
"All this time you've made it clear that you could just take me, make me do whatever you wanted. Yet you never did. And why would you, when you have Lucius Malfoy to shag you!"
"Black..." Snape started but fell silent again.
"Just admit it," Sirius hissed into his ear. "You never had any intention of shagging me, did you?"
"No," Snape said quietly. "You're absolutely right, I didn't."
"No, you just let me think that! It was all part of your twisted mind-fucking!" Sirius' every muscle was so strained that he was starting to shake. "All you wanted was his arse, not mine!"
"Stop this nonsense and untie me, Black." Snape's voice was barely audible any more. "You don't want to do this."
"How the fuck do you know that?!" Sirius roared. "How do you know that this isn't exactly what I want?! Maybe I want to do to you what you've been threatening to do to me ever since I got here, add my dead sperm to that of the Death Eater's!" He reached down and gripped his throbbing prick, rubbing it between Snape's buttocks. "Feel that? That's me, not him!"
"You will be dead the moment..."
But Sirius had already found Snape's hole, and with the help of Malfoy's sperm, he shoved his cock inside with one hard push. There was only a quiet gasp from Snape, whose whole body seemed to stiffen under Sirius, his buttocks clenched together and his fingers wrapped around the ropes binding him to the bed. For a while Sirius just lay still, waiting for something to happen but not quite knowing any more what it was supposed to be. But the tightness around his cock was too much for him, and so again he thrust into Snape, forcing out a low groan from Snape's throat as well as from his own. At that moment, he felt more alive than when still living.
All Sirius could sense any more was Snape's arse, his flesh so tight around his, the pleasure of it by far surpassing all the women he had ever shagged combined. Somewhere at the back of his mind was a voice saying that it was a man under him, and what was more, the man had not exactly agreed to any of it. But the voice was quickly drowned by the feel of Snape's skin as Sirius let his hands travel along the naked body, touching anything and everything he could reach.
Burying his face into Snape's neck, he again smelled the foreign scent of the man that had come before him. Vigorously he rubbed his skin against Snape's, even reaching to touch his hands so as to cover every inch of the man's arms with his.
"My smell... not his..." he hissed as he pushed himself into Snape again and again, the warm body shivering slightly underneath him. "Mine... Not his... Mine..." Feeling his climax approaching, he took hold of Snape's hair to keep him still and banged against him faster and faster. "You... bloody... Death Eat--!"
Before he could finish the last word, Sirius came inside Snape, and still opening and closing his mouth, he fell limp on top of him.
"Black?"
Snape's voice shook Sirius back to life.
"Yes?"
"Untie me."
"Oh. Right."
Feeling completely numb, Sirius pulled out of the man and jumped up to his feet. As quickly as he could, he untied Snape and watched him wrap himself in the black sheet.
Sirius was just about to slip out of the door when Snape suddenly sprang to his feet and strode to him. He grabbed hold of Sirius' head with both hands, dropping his sheet in the process, and pressed him against the wall. Sirius had time to catch a glimpse of his naked body before his head was forced back, and was immediately certain he had seen wrong.
"Damn you," Snape hissed between his teeth, his eyes burning like two black tar pits.
It was not the first time Sirius had seen that look in his eyes, but this time it was even fierier than it had been on that stormy night. But despite the flaming eyes, Sirius had the strangest feeling that the man was about to kiss him. Snape's gaze kept shifting from his eyes to his lips and back again, and yet the hold on Sirius' head only tightened. It almost seemed as if he was making every effort to hold himself back, his mouth clenched tightly shut, and his hands practically shaking on Sirius' cheeks. And as Snape pressed himself against him, he was sure he felt something brush against his thigh.
"Damn you to hell."
Once more he glanced at Sirius' mouth, and in the next instant he stepped back, picked up his sheet and wrapped it around him.
"I'll better get the dinner started," Sirius said awkwardly and made for the door.
"No," Snape said simply, his back turned to him. "No dinner."
Without another word, Sirius staggered out of the room.
It was only back in the library that the significance of what he had done hit him, and burying his face in his hands he collapsed down on a pile of books. It all seemed like a dream now, everything had happened far too fast for him to grasp it, and yet only one look under his tea towel was needed to prove that it had indeed been real.
A number of questions were flashing through his mind, none of them with much sense and all of them without an answer. No matter how hard he tried, he could not understand why the thought of Snape having it off with Malfoy had made him so furious in the first place, or why the hell his body had reacted the way it had to someone he absolutely despised. For over four days he had kept worrying about his own arse, and now he had forced himself into Snape's. How the hell could the tables have turned so quickly and so entirely without the rest of house tumbling down? None of it made any sense, which was, of course, something that had characterised the whole of his life-after-afterlife.
Thinking about the house reminded Sirius of the cupboard, and the cupboard reminded him of the engravings on its walls.
"Fucking hell," Sirius whispered to himself. "I just raped a victim of sexual abuse. People like me shouldn't be allowed to live."
That was when it hit him, and Sirius felt almost ashamed that it had not occurred to him sooner.
Yes, he had shagged Snape, that much was true, but what was rather more important was that he had done it without dying.
*****
On to the next chapter...