(no subject)
Today, at the picnic and grad rehearsal, I think I realized that my whole life was built around crew. I mean - I guess I knew that I'm a poster child for crew taking over, dating a rower and being the daughter of a rower and being captain (more correctly, having been captain, because I'm not anymore) but I didn't realize that... I have no friends that don't or haven't rowed. And most people I lost touch with when they left the team. And I regret that. I regret looking around at my graduating class and wondering who people are, or knowing them only from class. They probably are wonderful people - and I never took my chance to get to know them, really. And it was stunning to me to read through my yearbook and realize that the only thing that anyone knew me as was a rower... That that's what people wrote about, with few exceptions. Maybe that's why graduation doesn't feel like such a big deal to me - I "graduated" when I gave my senior speech, when we rowed our semi with that unbelievable crosswind, when we legitimately won silver medals in a crazy-fast final after tornado warnings and everything. But it makes all of this less meaningful.
At the picnic, everyone was with their other friends, people who don't row, people that they chat with online or are in clubs with or have been friends with since childhood. I kind of wandered aimlessly around and sat in on the outside of it all. I don't think that I would do things much differently - there's only so much I could do differently without giving up all the wonderful things that I have gotten from crew - but the trade off seemed very stark. And it made me wonder whether it was a worthwhile one, in the end.
Erica said she hadn't thought about crew in a while. I do - partly because I'm going to row next year, partly because I'm working on Matt's scrapbook, partly because I'm still rowing, at least a couple times a week, out of OBC - and it bothers me that I still see the world in boats. There are no more boats, they don't matter anymore. But without boats my world looses its stability. I sound so stupid.
David came over. We played Scrabble. It was a really good, fun game. We didn't talk about rowing at all.
At the picnic, everyone was with their other friends, people who don't row, people that they chat with online or are in clubs with or have been friends with since childhood. I kind of wandered aimlessly around and sat in on the outside of it all. I don't think that I would do things much differently - there's only so much I could do differently without giving up all the wonderful things that I have gotten from crew - but the trade off seemed very stark. And it made me wonder whether it was a worthwhile one, in the end.
Erica said she hadn't thought about crew in a while. I do - partly because I'm going to row next year, partly because I'm working on Matt's scrapbook, partly because I'm still rowing, at least a couple times a week, out of OBC - and it bothers me that I still see the world in boats. There are no more boats, they don't matter anymore. But without boats my world looses its stability. I sound so stupid.
David came over. We played Scrabble. It was a really good, fun game. We didn't talk about rowing at all.