Perhaps I´m A Bad Rper After All. :/
Yeah, um. I´ve been agonizing for quite a while now whether or not I should say something, but I´ve been thinking about this a lot (whenever I had the time). And I think it´s best to simply adress it. I miss my Rps and my awesome partners and all. But to be honest, I´m kinda scared to return, and I´m aware that even if I do, I´ll have to cut down my activity to some extent.
Fact is, I loved (almost) every minute of it, but the amount of time I spent with Rp when I really should have been doing something else was ... disturbing, at least for me. (Mind you, this is NOT a complaint about anyone else. It´s completely on me. There´s plenty of people who Rp and still manage to do their daily duties and whatnot, and the fact that I failed to do so is my fault and no-one else´s.)
There´s a lot of factors involved in this, and I´ll probably write them down at some point in a longer post, but for now, I simply want to say it. I´m wary about resuming to Rp and I don´t know if I will really stay in all those communities I´m in. Even though I´m not even in that many, I´m not an organizing genius, I dislike being available all the time or being online every day, and I think being an active Rper simply doesn´t suit me.
I apologize if I, uh, make anyone feel uncomfortable with putting this out in the open like this. It´s really not about the people I play with. But I´ve seen other people getting distressed over Rp, and I, too, have been getting distressed over Rp, and I simply don´t think that´s the kind of feeling anyone should get from a hobby, really. I´m not sure what I´m going to do.
I´ll figure it out eventually, I think, and maybe, if I finally do find a grasp on time management, it won´t be that bad. But I am agonizing about it, and I wanted to get it out.
Fact is, I loved (almost) every minute of it, but the amount of time I spent with Rp when I really should have been doing something else was ... disturbing, at least for me. (Mind you, this is NOT a complaint about anyone else. It´s completely on me. There´s plenty of people who Rp and still manage to do their daily duties and whatnot, and the fact that I failed to do so is my fault and no-one else´s.)
There´s a lot of factors involved in this, and I´ll probably write them down at some point in a longer post, but for now, I simply want to say it. I´m wary about resuming to Rp and I don´t know if I will really stay in all those communities I´m in. Even though I´m not even in that many, I´m not an organizing genius, I dislike being available all the time or being online every day, and I think being an active Rper simply doesn´t suit me.
I apologize if I, uh, make anyone feel uncomfortable with putting this out in the open like this. It´s really not about the people I play with. But I´ve seen other people getting distressed over Rp, and I, too, have been getting distressed over Rp, and I simply don´t think that´s the kind of feeling anyone should get from a hobby, really. I´m not sure what I´m going to do.
I´ll figure it out eventually, I think, and maybe, if I finally do find a grasp on time management, it won´t be that bad. But I am agonizing about it, and I wanted to get it out.