(no subject)
I'm going ahead with my life. I feel like I'm taking more control of it in some small way. A lot of my life has been out of my control, and sometimes I think that's fine, because I will fuck up the big things--college, apartments, cars, jobs, relationships.
But I can maybe control the small things. I can control my cell phone provider, the type of shoes I wear, the type of food I eat, the type of poetry I write, the events I go to, the people whose company I choose to pursue and the people whose company I do not.
These are the things I have been able to control recently. I feel better for having taken control of them.
*
I got to see the Transit of Venus with some friends. It was majestic. That's all I can say. Staring at the sun on the rooftop and knowing that something tremendous was happening to us. The great clockwork of the solar system was striking the hour, marking the time.
I want to read about things far more than I want to experience them. Experiences are scary. Especially sex. I think I might be going on a date tomorrow, but I'm not sure if it's a date. It's the kind of thing that might be a date but was framed as a movie. I think I'm going to assume it's a movie. I don't think I can handle a date right now. Or a job. Or anything complex, really. I just want to arrange my books and take walks and eat nachos.
The movie I'm going to see is "Prometheus." I have such incredible empathy for robots in stories. They were created by humans and they found themselves living and they don't always necessarily know how to deal with what they are. I even love bad robots. I cried when HAL died. This movie is going to make me cry.
*
I want to write about Detroit, but I don't live there. I just exist on its periphery. It's kind of pathetic, isn't it? What the hell is there to write about Farmington Hills?
But I can maybe control the small things. I can control my cell phone provider, the type of shoes I wear, the type of food I eat, the type of poetry I write, the events I go to, the people whose company I choose to pursue and the people whose company I do not.
These are the things I have been able to control recently. I feel better for having taken control of them.
*
I got to see the Transit of Venus with some friends. It was majestic. That's all I can say. Staring at the sun on the rooftop and knowing that something tremendous was happening to us. The great clockwork of the solar system was striking the hour, marking the time.
I want to read about things far more than I want to experience them. Experiences are scary. Especially sex. I think I might be going on a date tomorrow, but I'm not sure if it's a date. It's the kind of thing that might be a date but was framed as a movie. I think I'm going to assume it's a movie. I don't think I can handle a date right now. Or a job. Or anything complex, really. I just want to arrange my books and take walks and eat nachos.
The movie I'm going to see is "Prometheus." I have such incredible empathy for robots in stories. They were created by humans and they found themselves living and they don't always necessarily know how to deal with what they are. I even love bad robots. I cried when HAL died. This movie is going to make me cry.
*
I want to write about Detroit, but I don't live there. I just exist on its periphery. It's kind of pathetic, isn't it? What the hell is there to write about Farmington Hills?