I had a dream
I had a dream last night.
I was helping a family cross a ditch. With the parents: kids and a pair of twins in a poorly designed car seat. They were struggling so i helped them out. I was being friendly and asking many questions. I offered to carry the twins over the ditch. I thought I had a good grip on them and after that, the dream went into slow motion. One of the twins slipped and fell out of the car seat and into the ditch, and I couldnt catch him. The father was furious and yelled "Why dont you just stop talking and get out of here! You are gonna be a BAD NURSE!"
I woke up with pangs in my stomach. Not hunger pangs, but emotional pangs. I couldnt go back to sleep. The sound of the father telling me I was going to be a bad nurse rang in my head the whole morning. Why now? Why the night before clinical? I was not signed up for AM meds. Did I fail the Meds test? Damn that Digoxin/Lanoxin question. Damn that gtt/drop question. Damn that grain question. I was the first one done with the exam. I looked around and it seemed like they were done but was too afraid to hand it in first. So I did. I knew she was gonna look at it and have that ambiguous look that all professors have when they are grading an exam.
I was anxious. But then I met my patient. The most pleasant 90 year old women in the whole wide world. I heard rhonchi. Maybe I heard rales. She told me to take time out to pray. And walk away from fights. She's the last of her immediate family. No children, no husband, never married- but assured me she had a good life. She's ready to go meet the rest of her family up in heaven and hopes that they have a good seat waiting for her. She's happy, and she's ready. But it's not her time. It's just a little cellulitis. She's not all alone you know. She has 3rd cousins coming tonight, hopefully to bring her more flowers and to keep her company.
Help Lal. Do you know what it's like to look at a morbidly obese patient who is not allowed to get up to take a shit? This wasnt my patient but I helped my exhausted classmate for a fraction of a second, to move a bed pan into place so she can go. I almost cried when she told me "Please pray for me. If you believe in a God, please pray for me" And I couldnt do a damn thing. It was kind of weird as to why she was paired up with her. She is probably less than 1/4 of the patient's size. How can she expect her to move the patient???
NURSE! NURSE!!! atleast every 10 minutes. She didnt wanna eat but he kept encouraging her to. NURSE NURSE!!! "What's wrong???" He even had his backpack on, almost ready to go and he still ran in there to answer her. Really, I had the nicest patient. Watch the tables turn next week.
Relief. She wants/needs a pneumonia and flu vaccine. Can I administer it? I overheard my professor tell my preceptor "Yeah she can give it"... I screamed a little inside... It was glad to know that I passed my exam... But shit... I realized that I have to actually give it now... It's not like it's a newborn who cant tell you to fuck off if youre hurting them... No, it's someone who can verbalize how much they hate your for poking them with too many needles... Whatever, it's just two shots... I can deal...
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Good Job Lal. Youre not nervous at all! Very steady. You forgot your gloves the first time. But you got everything the second time. Good girl.
says Langevine.
Let's hope that the rest of the semester goes as smoothly as today.
I was helping a family cross a ditch. With the parents: kids and a pair of twins in a poorly designed car seat. They were struggling so i helped them out. I was being friendly and asking many questions. I offered to carry the twins over the ditch. I thought I had a good grip on them and after that, the dream went into slow motion. One of the twins slipped and fell out of the car seat and into the ditch, and I couldnt catch him. The father was furious and yelled "Why dont you just stop talking and get out of here! You are gonna be a BAD NURSE!"
I woke up with pangs in my stomach. Not hunger pangs, but emotional pangs. I couldnt go back to sleep. The sound of the father telling me I was going to be a bad nurse rang in my head the whole morning. Why now? Why the night before clinical? I was not signed up for AM meds. Did I fail the Meds test? Damn that Digoxin/Lanoxin question. Damn that gtt/drop question. Damn that grain question. I was the first one done with the exam. I looked around and it seemed like they were done but was too afraid to hand it in first. So I did. I knew she was gonna look at it and have that ambiguous look that all professors have when they are grading an exam.
I was anxious. But then I met my patient. The most pleasant 90 year old women in the whole wide world. I heard rhonchi. Maybe I heard rales. She told me to take time out to pray. And walk away from fights. She's the last of her immediate family. No children, no husband, never married- but assured me she had a good life. She's ready to go meet the rest of her family up in heaven and hopes that they have a good seat waiting for her. She's happy, and she's ready. But it's not her time. It's just a little cellulitis. She's not all alone you know. She has 3rd cousins coming tonight, hopefully to bring her more flowers and to keep her company.
Help Lal. Do you know what it's like to look at a morbidly obese patient who is not allowed to get up to take a shit? This wasnt my patient but I helped my exhausted classmate for a fraction of a second, to move a bed pan into place so she can go. I almost cried when she told me "Please pray for me. If you believe in a God, please pray for me" And I couldnt do a damn thing. It was kind of weird as to why she was paired up with her. She is probably less than 1/4 of the patient's size. How can she expect her to move the patient???
NURSE! NURSE!!! atleast every 10 minutes. She didnt wanna eat but he kept encouraging her to. NURSE NURSE!!! "What's wrong???" He even had his backpack on, almost ready to go and he still ran in there to answer her. Really, I had the nicest patient. Watch the tables turn next week.
Relief. She wants/needs a pneumonia and flu vaccine. Can I administer it? I overheard my professor tell my preceptor "Yeah she can give it"... I screamed a little inside... It was glad to know that I passed my exam... But shit... I realized that I have to actually give it now... It's not like it's a newborn who cant tell you to fuck off if youre hurting them... No, it's someone who can verbalize how much they hate your for poking them with too many needles... Whatever, it's just two shots... I can deal...
....
......
........
Good Job Lal. Youre not nervous at all! Very steady. You forgot your gloves the first time. But you got everything the second time. Good girl.
says Langevine.
Let's hope that the rest of the semester goes as smoothly as today.