Too Much Stress?
Its not hard to see where this comes from, but really I'm over people telling me to "chill out." I have such a hard time "chilling out" when so much needs to be done, and no one is helping me. I know my parents want to help me but the last week, go lord, my mother did nothing of the sort.
To make a long story short my mother went out of town for July 4th and needed someone to watch my sister. My sister will not spend or talk with my father so she couldn't spend the night at her house. So my mother calls me asking if I will watch my sister...and I was torn. I wanted to spend time with my family...but that wasn't going to happen...so I had to choose my sister or my father. I also was torn because I didn't want my mother to go out of town to party, but I want her to have time to herself. I also had two BIG problems with my moterh. First my mother STILL hasn't givin me a key to her place and only came ot my place once. My mother wouldn't tell me why she wouldn't give me a key but she sure does want me to come by and help her whenever its convenit for her. Why would I want to help you and come by when you do not trust me with a house key. I gave her mine but she will not give me one. Second, she would not tell me who she was going with, then lied and said some co-worker. She also wouldn't tell me where she was going, "I'm going to the beach and thats all YOU NEED to KNOW." Which is complet BULLSHIT because if there was an accident on her part or my sister's and I, how would I get ahold of her? After thinking for a while I said I would watch my sister.
July 2nd, Monday night- Got off work and found out my mother was MIA. She never called my sister or told anyone what she was doing. After and Hour of searching, phone calls, and waitting I found out she had been out drinking with some "friends" and she had left her phone in her car. I was SUPPER PISSED at her. She had pulled shit like that when i lived with her, atlest then I was there for my sister or my father was there. This time my sister was left alone, upset because my mother never called her telling her she would be late. My mother got hom safely and texted me while I was driving to Cooco Beach for Joe's family. She then calls me and asked if I was upset with her...told her I didn't want to talk about it...she inisted and an hour fight insued from there. Needless to say I'm travling at Mid-night down the 417, 528, and A1A at 75-90 miles an hour in my ghetto-piece-o-shit-car in the RAIN while yelling at the top of my lungs, totaly pissed and crying. Not the best Idea I've ever had. I told my mom I couldn't understand why she wouldn't tell me where she was going, or who she was going with. I got "Because I'm not accountable to you...you don't know them so Why does it matter...that's an invastion of my privicy..." I told her that it was for SAFTY conserns...if I don't know them then that means SHE hadn't know them very long(she claims she's known them for 3 months), I didn't care who they were, if one was a love interst whatever, just please tell me names, how many people(names would take care of that) was she staying with, and a phone number and address of where she was staying. If She went missing how the hell would I know where to tell the cops to look for her because"...mom FL is a FUCKING PANISALA SO NO MATTER WHAT DIRRECTION YOU GO IN FL YOUR GOING TO FIND A BEACH WITHIN 60 MILES SO WHICH FUCKING BEACH IS IT?" She then tells me the place she was going to stay has changed many times and she didn't see how it really matterd. So needless to say she never told me until the night AFTER she had Stayed where she was. She never told me who she was with, and you know what I do not think I'll ever be able to trust her again, I've lost alot of respect for my mother, and i'm not sure She'll ever get that back.
I mean she told me "I do not trust you. I believe you'll just come over and trash my place, or stop by when i have people over to intaragate them. Once i have a boyfriend and he's here I do not need to worry you'll just Walk in on me. I do not need that and do not trust you." I told her she was "a fucking bitch to believe I would do that to her. Since [she] has been at [her] place have I ever left a mess when I've come over? Do you think Daddy hasn't told me to call before I come over for the same reasons? Why would I want to walk in on [her]? I wouldn't and that hurts so much to believe that you do not trust me. I'm not going to steal, eat or trash your place. Your a horriable mother to believe that the daughter who fucking helped you get your place and moved you would do shit like that. Would you say the same shit to [my sister] if she hadn't picked to live with you? Or is it that I remind you to much of Daddy that your shutting me OUT? YOU'VE LOCKED ME OUT, AND YOU'VE BUILT THIS WALL THAT ONLY YOU CAN TEAR DOWN AND UNTIL YOU DO I'M DONE WITH YOU!"
It wasn't until the next day, my mother called me and i told her that "If you where watching my kids and I was 30 and I told you 'i'm going to the beach...' and was doing the same thing you were doing you would get just as mad at me as i am with you. Top it off with the fact that you didn't have your phone and didn't see there was an issue with not telling us you would be gone, i'm not trusting that just YOUr phone is good enough." After that she realized why i was pissed and things were better.
Edit: I realized why i was upset with what happend... I never told my father....after 90 mins, some tears and truths on both our parts alot has changed with my father. Most noticably is LyAnn from Mississippi. She has "badge"- 13 yr, 11 yr, and 8 yr old boy, plus a toy poodle. Oh and they meet a month ago. Oh and she WILL BE IN TOWN FRIDAY-SUNDAY. I think I want to meet her..but I'm not sure. I think meeting her without her little ones might be a good idea... but hten part of me thinks it would be better to wait to see if she really moves down here or not. But my dad really likes her and if she cannot move here...and my sister will not see/stay with my dad he might move there to Mississippi if he has to so they can be together. I'm not sure what I think about this...I mean I want my father to be happy, and she makes him happy. I know my parents are not going to get back together, and I wouldn't want them too. Neither one was happy and they where making life harder at home by staying together...but still not sure if I'm ready.
To make a long story short my mother went out of town for July 4th and needed someone to watch my sister. My sister will not spend or talk with my father so she couldn't spend the night at her house. So my mother calls me asking if I will watch my sister...and I was torn. I wanted to spend time with my family...but that wasn't going to happen...so I had to choose my sister or my father. I also was torn because I didn't want my mother to go out of town to party, but I want her to have time to herself. I also had two BIG problems with my moterh. First my mother STILL hasn't givin me a key to her place and only came ot my place once. My mother wouldn't tell me why she wouldn't give me a key but she sure does want me to come by and help her whenever its convenit for her. Why would I want to help you and come by when you do not trust me with a house key. I gave her mine but she will not give me one. Second, she would not tell me who she was going with, then lied and said some co-worker. She also wouldn't tell me where she was going, "I'm going to the beach and thats all YOU NEED to KNOW." Which is complet BULLSHIT because if there was an accident on her part or my sister's and I, how would I get ahold of her? After thinking for a while I said I would watch my sister.
July 2nd, Monday night- Got off work and found out my mother was MIA. She never called my sister or told anyone what she was doing. After and Hour of searching, phone calls, and waitting I found out she had been out drinking with some "friends" and she had left her phone in her car. I was SUPPER PISSED at her. She had pulled shit like that when i lived with her, atlest then I was there for my sister or my father was there. This time my sister was left alone, upset because my mother never called her telling her she would be late. My mother got hom safely and texted me while I was driving to Cooco Beach for Joe's family. She then calls me and asked if I was upset with her...told her I didn't want to talk about it...she inisted and an hour fight insued from there. Needless to say I'm travling at Mid-night down the 417, 528, and A1A at 75-90 miles an hour in my ghetto-piece-o-shit-car in the RAIN while yelling at the top of my lungs, totaly pissed and crying. Not the best Idea I've ever had. I told my mom I couldn't understand why she wouldn't tell me where she was going, or who she was going with. I got "Because I'm not accountable to you...you don't know them so Why does it matter...that's an invastion of my privicy..." I told her that it was for SAFTY conserns...if I don't know them then that means SHE hadn't know them very long(she claims she's known them for 3 months), I didn't care who they were, if one was a love interst whatever, just please tell me names, how many people(names would take care of that) was she staying with, and a phone number and address of where she was staying. If She went missing how the hell would I know where to tell the cops to look for her because"...mom FL is a FUCKING PANISALA SO NO MATTER WHAT DIRRECTION YOU GO IN FL YOUR GOING TO FIND A BEACH WITHIN 60 MILES SO WHICH FUCKING BEACH IS IT?" She then tells me the place she was going to stay has changed many times and she didn't see how it really matterd. So needless to say she never told me until the night AFTER she had Stayed where she was. She never told me who she was with, and you know what I do not think I'll ever be able to trust her again, I've lost alot of respect for my mother, and i'm not sure She'll ever get that back.
I mean she told me "I do not trust you. I believe you'll just come over and trash my place, or stop by when i have people over to intaragate them. Once i have a boyfriend and he's here I do not need to worry you'll just Walk in on me. I do not need that and do not trust you." I told her she was "a fucking bitch to believe I would do that to her. Since [she] has been at [her] place have I ever left a mess when I've come over? Do you think Daddy hasn't told me to call before I come over for the same reasons? Why would I want to walk in on [her]? I wouldn't and that hurts so much to believe that you do not trust me. I'm not going to steal, eat or trash your place. Your a horriable mother to believe that the daughter who fucking helped you get your place and moved you would do shit like that. Would you say the same shit to [my sister] if she hadn't picked to live with you? Or is it that I remind you to much of Daddy that your shutting me OUT? YOU'VE LOCKED ME OUT, AND YOU'VE BUILT THIS WALL THAT ONLY YOU CAN TEAR DOWN AND UNTIL YOU DO I'M DONE WITH YOU!"
It wasn't until the next day, my mother called me and i told her that "If you where watching my kids and I was 30 and I told you 'i'm going to the beach...' and was doing the same thing you were doing you would get just as mad at me as i am with you. Top it off with the fact that you didn't have your phone and didn't see there was an issue with not telling us you would be gone, i'm not trusting that just YOUr phone is good enough." After that she realized why i was pissed and things were better.
Edit: I realized why i was upset with what happend... I never told my father....after 90 mins, some tears and truths on both our parts alot has changed with my father. Most noticably is LyAnn from Mississippi. She has "badge"- 13 yr, 11 yr, and 8 yr old boy, plus a toy poodle. Oh and they meet a month ago. Oh and she WILL BE IN TOWN FRIDAY-SUNDAY. I think I want to meet her..but I'm not sure. I think meeting her without her little ones might be a good idea... but hten part of me thinks it would be better to wait to see if she really moves down here or not. But my dad really likes her and if she cannot move here...and my sister will not see/stay with my dad he might move there to Mississippi if he has to so they can be together. I'm not sure what I think about this...I mean I want my father to be happy, and she makes him happy. I know my parents are not going to get back together, and I wouldn't want them too. Neither one was happy and they where making life harder at home by staying together...but still not sure if I'm ready.