updates for all!
Hello, again! Here is a somewhat PG update of what’s been going on in my life:
-I completed and passed my ISP proposal and set off to Cape Town where I’ve been spending the past week and a half
-I’ve been rather lonely and bored in Cape Town-something, as I was alerted by a cab driver, should never happen because there’s oh so much to do-and, consequently, was depressed. I blame this on hormones because I feel a lot better now. Or, perhaps, it’s because I talked to my Mom and she made me feel a lot better.
-The reason I’ve been so bored in Cape Town is because I’ve had nothing to do. This is a problem when I am supposed to be here to be researching with the Institute for Healing of Memories. Unfortunately, the guy who has been helping me, Themba, has not given me any names of people to interview. Additionally, I have been to their office once. This would not be so bad because it is a pain in the ass to get to, except I really need to get some research done. If anything, I need to interview their staff members.
-Seeing my project go down the toilet was a cause for even more depression. I thought about the worst-what if I get sent home because I don’t have a project? I seriously worried and considered my alternatives if this happened. At the same time, I tried to figure out a way to save my project.
-I was sick. My illness, unlike everyone else’s, started in my lungs with that damned mucus. I was hacking up the shit in the bathroom so much that I am fairly convinced those around me probably thought I was bulimic.
-I’ve been living in a hostel where people are constantly coming and going. I don’t think I really need this much dynamic in my life.
Btw, I said PG not to mean that anything exciting and sexual has been happening. Instead, I meant it in an emotionless sort of way. Anyway, here are the reasons why things are getting better:
-I’ve tried curing my boredom on my own. I’ve decided to start go adventuring on my own. On Sunday, I went to the Kirstenbosch gardens. This place was seriously gorgeous. It is most definitely one of the most beautiful places in the world. I loved it. This weekend I want to go the Cheetah Rehabilitation Center where I’ll be able to pet and get up close and personal with cheetahs. Hopefully, I can get someone to come alone for this with me as I want pictures of me holding the cheetahs. It seems though that curing my boredom with adventuring has made even the mundane things that I do seem okay to be doing alone.
-I just talked to Vanessa, our program academic director, and she reassured me that everything will be fine. I just need to get a Plan B, Plan C, etc. I think she’s right and, in fact, I’ve been less worried for a couple of days now. But it was still good to have that reassurance. Now, I may be looking at other organization and how they deal with the issue of forgiveness.
-I decided to self-medicate in order to get rid of my cold. (Don’t try this at home-I just wanted to save myself 300 rand in doctor’s bills and prescriptions). I just happened to have antibiotics laying around that I decided to stop taking at the beginning of the semester. I started taking them. They killed the infection and now I’m better.
-The hostel is getting better. I’m starting to appreciate the dynamics here and I think it helps that there are people who actually live here on a more permanent basis. Most people are friendly, but I still feel uncomfortable trying to engage myself.
In other news, I feel I have most definitely missed out on learning and maneuvering the bar scene in the states. I have no idea how to do that shit here and I certainly do not know how to do it alone (though I am fairly certain that is a bad idea in any country anyway). Basically, I just feel like a fool. This is something that will most definitely have to be worked on when I get back.
Also, as my return home gets closer and closer…I’m starting to get worried about some things. Namely I am worried about finding a job, but there are other things too. I think I am in for more disappointments than I can probably handle and I should start preparing myself for them now. That way I can handle them. Fuck, I just spent three and half months in Africa…I should be able to handle anything, right?