Say You'll Be My Nightingale (4/11)
Title: Say You'll Be My Nightingale
Author: klainycriss/klaincheltani
Rating: PG-13
Warnings (if any): N/A
Word Count: 36k+
Characters: Klaine, Cooper Anderson, Rachel Berry, Burt Hummel, Mr & Mrs. Anderson
Summary: Finally in the city of his dreams, Kurt Hummel is ready to start college and pursue a new life in New York City. On the first day of class, he meets the love of his life who literally knocks him off his feet. He knows that he wants to spend forever with this man, but their forever might be shorter than he expected...
AN: Written for the Klaine Big Bang. I also want to thank my beta, moonlessky for putting up with my whining and complaining throughout writing this fic. I also want to thank, tarabottiwrites for the lovely art she drew for this story. It couldn't be more perfect!!
As soon as Kurt made it to the hospital, he hurried into the emergency room, going straight up to the front desk. “Um, hi. I’m here to see my boyfriend. He came in earlier I think, with his brother. Blaine Anderson is his name. Please, I’m his boyfriend and I just, I need to see him,” he said, his voice panicked.
“I’m sorry, that’s just not possible. You’re not family, so you can't see him,” the nurse at the window said, looking down at her charts.
Kurt let out a shaky breath, pulling out his phone to call Blaine’s, hoping Copper answers again. “Hello,” Cooper said, after five rings.
“Cooper, they won’t let me in, because I’m not family. Can you please come and tell this nurse I can see him. Please,” Kurt said, almost close to tears.
“I’ll be right there.” With that, Cooper hung up, leaving Kurt standing there waiting for him to get down to the emergency room, and finally take him to see Blaine.
-
Cooper was out in the waiting room in about five minutes, walking straight up to the window. “I’m taking Kurt here with me into the room. Thank you for your time, I guess.” Copper turned around, hurrying away, with Kurt following after him.
They were in Blaine’s room within minutes, Kurt following in after Cooper. He walked in, seeing Blaine laying there, sleeping peacefully. “I knew he was sick and I told him he should go to the doctors. It’s the flu right?” He asked, turning toward Cooper.
Cooper was just about to say something when Blaine’s voice cut him off. “No, Kurt. It’s definitely not the flu.”
Kurt was quick to turn around and rush by Blaine’s side, taking one of Blaine’s hands into his own and kissing it softly. “Blaine, I was so worried,” he whispered, pulling up a chair and taking a seat next to Blaine’s bed, still holding on tightly to his hand.
Blaine looked at him, a soft, worried smile on his face. “Kurt, I need to tell you something,” he announced, his eyes watering.
“Cooper, can you...can you give us a minute?” He asked, swallowing hard, as Cooper gave him a nod and walked out the room.
“What’s going on?” Kurt said, confused as to why Blaine wanted Cooper to leave the room. The air somehow felt like it got tense, and Kurt squeezed Blaine’s hand tighter. “You said it wasn’t the flu. Just a common cold then? Well that is better than the flu, if only by a little bit.” He laughed, lacing his and Blaine’s fingers together.
Blaine looked down at their fingers, his tears now falling freely. “Hey, don’t cry,” Kurt hurried to say, moving his free hand to wipe away Blaine’s tears. “What’s wrong? Everything’s okay.”
Blaine shook his head, pulling his hand away from Kurt’s so that he could push himself up into a sitting position.
Blaine took a deep, shaky breath before he started to talk. “I had a plan, Kurt. I had it all planned out. I was ready, and I don’t know why. I just felt like: oh it’s my time and I should just go with what’s going to inevitably happen. Then one day I wasn’t paying attention, and I literally ran into my future--into someone I could see being my future--one that I didn’t think I would have. I fell in love with you the minute I knocked you on your butt.” He laughed, tears slowly falling down his cheeks. Kurt listened in silence, wanting to hear what Blaine had to say. “There was something about you. It was the way you carried yourself, and how you weren't like anyone else I had met here. You had this light in your eyes and I knew I had to get to know you more. It scared me because I had already decided, and I didn’t need distractions. I just wanted to go to school and spend every day I could doing things I love.”
Blaine stopped, pointing toward his water. Kurt picked it up, handing it over toward Blaine who took a sip, before giving it back to Kurt, who placed it back onto the table beside them.
“I wanted more time with you, so I wanted to do everything possible to get that time. I know it’s not going to be easy and I’m not gonna say it will be, but you made me realize how much I want to be here. I just want a future and if you leave when you know, I’ll understand. But just remember, I love you. Okay? I love you and you helped me. You helped me realize that I just want to be here, and be alive.” Blaine let out a shaky breath, using his hands to wipe away his tears.
Kurt didn’t understand what was happening, but he was also crying. He didn’t like seeing Blaine upset, it hurt him and all he wanted to do was take away that pain. “Blaine? Why would I ever leave you?” He asked, confusion written all over his face.
“I’m sick, Kurt. I’m sick and even getting what I need might not save me. I might be too far along to even make it, but I have to try,” Blaine said, letting out a loud sob. “I don’t want to leave you. I don’t want to be sick. I don’t want to live with this anymore. I just want to be here, with you.”
Kurt’s lips were trembling, taking Blaine’s hand in his own again. “Blaine, what do you mean?” He choked out, his eyes never leaving Blaine’s.
“I have cancer. Not just cancer. I have Leukemia.”
It felt like Kurt’s whole world stopped, like it just froze and the only things that were left moving in time where he and Blaine. “No. You don’t, Blaine no, you don’t have-” Kurt stopped, looking down at his and Blaine’s hands, his breathing becoming ragged. Thinking back to everything that had happened, it all made sense. The headaches, the nosebleeds, the weakness and the weight loss. Blaine was sick. Blaine had...cancer.
Kurt slowly lifted his head, his eyes landing on a crying Blaine. “You’re sick,” Kurt choked out, looking at Blaine with sad eyes. “I don’t-you were...you gave up....You were gonna die, without fighting. How could you? Blaine!” Kurt broke down, his head falling to Blaine’s lap as he let out loud sobs. “You have to fight this, for me, for us. Please,” he plead, crying into Blaine’s lap. “I love you, please.”
“Kurt, come here,” he whispered, scooting over so that Kurt could climb into bed with him. As soon as Kurt was on the bed, he opened his arms for Blaine to crawl into, which he did. He rested his head on Kurt’s chest, as Kurt’s arms held him tightly, almost like he was trying to keep all the bad away. They both had silent tears streaming down their faces, scared of things to come.
“Yeah, I gave up. I thought I was going to die anyways; why make my body go throw all that pain, worse pain than this. Why make myself so weak that I couldn’t even do the things I wanted. I wanted to go to school, and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to. I told my parents I didn’t want the treatment. God, they were so upset. They didn’t want me here, with Cooper. They wanted me to spend what time I had left with them, and I just ...I couldn’t. I ran so fast out of there. I just needed to be here, to spend what time I had left in the one place I loved most, and that was here, with Cooper. Then after a week of being here, there you were, my light shining in this dark world,” Blaine whispered, looking up at Kurt, who was looking back at him and trying his hardest to stop crying. “We had our first date, or our ‘non-date,’ whatever it is you want to call it. Well, after I got home, I walked straight up to Cooper and told him I wanted treatment. We called our parents, and they were beyond thrilled. You saved me, and helped me make this choice, even without knowing.” Blaine nuzzled into Kurt’s stomach, placed a tiny kiss to it, as Kurt listened quietly while running his fingers through Blaine’s soft curls.
“Cooper told me I needed to tell you, but I was so scared you would leave, so I didn’t. I told him I couldn’t, not yet. He didn’t agree, and I don’t blame him. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, and I am so sorry I had you so worried. I didn’t want to tell you and have you leave, and if you didn’t leave I didn’t want to have to tell you about treatment, and you thinking it will work, and then in the end finding out that it didn’t. That’s a very real possibility here, Kurt,” Blaine said, wrapping his arms around Kurt’s middle, as if it would keep him from leaving.
Kurt kissed the top of Blaine’s head, tightening his arm around him. “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. I love you, and I am going to be here with you, to help you fight this.” He buried his face into Blaine’s hair, closing his eyes, trying to keep himself calm.
“I’m terrified, Kurt,” Blaine confessed, after a few minutes of silence. “I don’t want to die. I’m so scared, that this is all going to be for nothing, and that I am going to die. I don’t want to die.” He kept mumbling, over and over, his tears still falling.
“It’s going to be okay, honey. I’m here, I got you.” Kurt then noticed, he had to be the strong one. He had to hold Blaine and keep him here. He had to be strong enough for both of them. Blaine was broken, and he needed to fix him. He had to hope beyond all hope, that this would work, and that they would have the future that should be theirs. Kurt wiped away his own tears. He had to do this for Blaine. He would do this for Blaine. He loved him, after all. “You will get better. We’re going to get you better. I’ve got you, and I am not going anywhere. I promise.”
Kurt held Blaine the rest of the day, as he cried into Kurt’s chest. Cooper hadn’t returned, and Kurt thought it was for the best, at least for now. Blaine needed him, so he wasn't going to go anywhere. Blaine passed out after a while, with Kurt still holding him. When the nurse came in to see how Blaine was doing, Kurt told her he would be okay, eventually. He really hoped it was true. Before she left, she told Kurt a doctor would soon be coming in to talk to Blaine and then check him out. Kurt gave her a polite thank you as he left, and held onto Blaine tighter, as he waited for the doctor to arrive.
-
It had been a few days since Kurt found out about everything, and his mind was still processing. After the doctor had come in, he woke Blaine up, telling him it was imperative that he start his chemo as soon as possible. He was getting worse and worse as the days went on. Kurt had asked him why he hadn’t started yet, and he said they were still working on the paperwork, and waiting for the payment to go through. He said that he would finish the paperwork as soon as possible, and the next day he sent it in. He didn’t want to wait longer than needed, and Kurt was glad. He too wanted to get it started, just to know they were on the right track to doing something.
Kurt hadn't really seen Blaine since the hospital. He just needed time to breathe and so he told Blaine he would call him in a few days after he processed everything that needed to be processed. He missed Blaine though, so much. He wanted to be with him all the time. He knew it was time to talk to Blaine, he was just scared, but he needed to pull through it.
After days of not talking to Blaine, it was time. After picking up his phone, Kurt sent a text to Blaine.
Kurt Hummel: 11:24am: Hey, honey. How are you feeling?
Blaine Anderson: 11:26am: Kurt, hey. I didn’t know when I would hear from you. God, I missed you, and I still do.
Blaine Anderson: 11:26am: I’m feeling as good as to be expected though. Thanks for asking.
Kurt Hummel: 11:30am: I miss you too. My head was just all over the place. I just need some time, and now I have thought everything through. I can do this. I’m going to be here for you. I love you, and we’re going to get through this. I’m glad you’re feeling as good as can be, and not as worse.
Blaine Anderson: 11:31am: Come over?
Kurt Hummel: 11:32am: I would love to come over. Would Cooper mind?
Blaine Anderson: 11:35 am: No, Cooper would be so fine with it. I have been moping around the apartment. And there are some things I want to tell you, about treatment and everything. Cooper knows its better to do that in person.
Kurt Hummel: 11:37 am: Okay, I’ll be there in like an hour or so. I need to shower and whatnot.
Blaine Anderson: 11:38 am: I’ll see you as soon as you get here then. I love you.
Kurt Hummel: 11:39 am: I love you too.
With that, Kurt put his phone on his bed, and started to get ready to finally see his boyfriend again after a few days of no contact.
-
Kurt was at Blaine and Cooper’s apartment in under an hour. He didn’t want to be away from him longer than he needed to be, so he took a quick shower and got dressed as fast as he could, not really caring what he was wearing at the time. He just needed to see Blaine, and know for sure he was doing as okay as he said.
Kurt knocked on Blaine’s door, fidgeting side to side as he waited for Blaine or Cooper to answer it. When he heard someone unlatching the lock, Kurt stopped moving, smiling when he saw it was Blaine who answered. Before the other boy could say anything, Kurt threw his arms around Blaine’s shoulders, pulling him in for a tight hug.
Kurt held on for what felt like a lifetime, but was only a minute. Everything was falling back into place. He couldn’t believe he went so long without seeing or speaking to Blaine. One thing was for sure, he was never going to make that mistake again.
Kurt pulled away, his hand moving to Blaine’s face, to rub his thumb over Blaine’s soft cheek. “I missed you,” he whispered, as if it was a secret.
Blaine’s eyes lit up, like the sky on the fourth of July. “I missed you, too. I was so scared you were going to think this was too much for you. I’m still scared. Please tell you’re not going to leave.” They were still standing in the doorway, Kurt’s hand on Blaine’s cheek, and Blaine’s face set into a frown.
“Let’s talk about this inside, okay,” Kurt said, looking behind him and noticing someone walking down the hall. Blaine nodded and moved to let Kurt in. Once Kurt was inside, Blaine shut the door, taking Kurt’s hand and leading him over to the couch. Blaine sat down, Kurt following soon after.
Kurt took Blaine’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “Blaine,” Kurt started, meeting Blaine’s eyes. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I love you, and I am going to be with you one hundred percent. I’m not letting you go through this alone. I know this is going to be hard, and scary. But it’s worth it. All of it is, because you’re everything to me, and I couldn't just not be with you. I’m fighting for us, and you’re fighting for your life. We’re both going to get through it, and when we’re done, we’re gonna be happy, and you’re going to be alive.” Kurt squeezed Blaine’s hand, giving him a bright smile.
Blaine looked down at their hands, his cheeks going a shade of pink. “My parents said they would pay so, I’m going to fight, as hard as I can. I want to beat this. I want my life back. I love you, and I’m sorry for not telling you about the cancer, and I’m sorry for scaring you. From now on it’s you and me, and I guess Cooper,” Blaine joked, bringing one of Kurt’s hands up to his lips and kissing it softly. “I start Friday. My parent’s are so happy, but I’m so scared. It’s gonna suck, and I know I don’t have that much hair, but it’s all going to fall out. Will you still think I’m attractive when I’m bald?” Blaine said, letting out a wet laugh, as tears started to fall from his eyes.
Kurt rolled his eyes, moving forward and kissing the top of Blaine’s head. “Of course I will. You’re the most attractive man there is. I will still think of you the same way I do now,” Kurt whispered, into Blaine’s hair, before kissing it again.
“Promise?” Blaine asked, full of emotion, his voice cracking.
Kurt remembered another time Blaine asked him to promise something. He now understood why Blaine had asked him, and he did keep that promise, so he knew he could also keep this one too. Blaine wasn’t just some random person he could give up. Blaine was the real thing. He never wanted to let go. So of course he could make any promise, and be sure he would keep it. “I promise.” Kurt repeated back, wrapping his arms around Blaine’s shoulder, and pulling him into another tight hug. This time Kurt didn’t let go, so he and Blaine just fell back onto the couch; Kurt holding him as Blaine rested his head on Kurt’s chest.
Blaine grabbed one of Kurt’s hands, started to play with it, not really speaking. Kurt knew there was something on his mind. He nuzzled his nose into Blaine’s hair and decided it was best to ask. “Hey. What’re you thinking?” He questioned, tilting his head to the side so he could get a better look at Blaine.
Blaine was quiet for a few minutes, not looking at Kurt once. Blaine sighed, moving his body so that his chin was now resting on Kurt’s chest. He locked eyes with Kurt, giving him a sad smile. “What if it doesn’t work? What I’m going to put my body through all this just for it not to work?” Blaine asked, worried, swallowing thickly. “I’m just so scared that I am going to lose this battle. This is the reason why I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to do chemo and then in the end find out it didn’t work. That would have been so much worse, because then I would have fought to stay alive, and it didn’t work. What if that happens?” He choked out, eyes shining with unshed tears.
Kurt nodded, running his fingers through Blaine’s hair. “It’s a big possibility, but I just...Blaine, you are so strong, and if anyone can beat this cancer, it’s you. It’s going to be hard as hell, but it’s going to work, because it’s not too far gone. You’re still in the very best position. The doctor said that the outcome should be good, seeing as how your cancer hasn’t spread, and it’s still just stage two.” Kurt was scared too, he really was, but showing that he was scared was not something he could do. Blaine needed him to be strong, and he was, for Blaine. “I’m going to be by your side, rooting you on. It’s going to work okay. It has to...” He couldn’t lose Blaine, not after he just found him. This was going to work. Blaine was going to get better. There was no other option. He was going to be cancer free. He had to.
“I do want to believe you, but I think I lost all hope a long time ago. I’m going to hold on, as long as I can, for you, and for me.” Blaine’s tears finally started to fall, and he felt so vulnerable, always crying, always losing all his control. He hated this, hated not getting to decide how it turned out. It was all up to his body, and he just hoped that it would be in his favor, this time. Blaine buried his face into Kurt’s chest, letting out a sob, as his hands clenched at Kurt’s sides, making sure he was still there, still real.
Kurt hated seeing Blaine cry. It hurt, so much. He wanted to take all his pain away, but he knew all he could do was be there for him, and let him know things would be okay. But he knew Blaine didn’t believe him. Hell, he didn’t even know if he believed himself, but he had to do it. He needed Blaine to know he was there rooting for him. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine, pulling him in close, and kissing the top of his head, as his own silent tears started to fall. “It’s going to be okay, baby. We’ll get through this, and everything will be better.” Blaine and Kurt laid there, the rest of the night. Kurt holding Blaine as he cried.
About an hour later, Blaine was fast asleep, his grip tight around Kurt, making sure he didn’t go anywhere. Kurt laid there, running his fingers through Blaine’s hair and just thinking about how things would be now. How his life had changed in such a short amount of time. He doesn’t regret meeting Blaine, not at all. In fact he was thankful for it. He and Blaine were brought together by fate, at least it felt like fate. Blaine needed him, just as much as he needed Blaine, and they were going to help each other through this, and Kurt would help Blaine come out stronger.
There was the sound of a door opening and closing, Kurt turned his head, seeing Cooper walking in. His eyes immediately landed on the couch, noticing Kurt and Blaine laid out there, Blaine fast asleep. “Hey,” he whispered, walking into the living room.
“Hey,” Kurt replied, keeping his voice low so that he didn’t wake up Blaine.
“It’s good to see you again. I’m glad you didn’t leave,” Cooper said, as he started making his way out of the living room.
“I could never leave him,” Kurt replied, his eyes drifting down to Blaine’s face, smiling softly. “I love him.”
“I can see that it’s real now. Most people wouldn’t stay,” Copper said, stopping at the end of the couch.
“It is real, and I’m going to be here to help him through this. He needs me. He’s so scared, and I just want to take it all away from him. So yeah, I’m here because I love him, also because I couldn’t be without him, and neither him without me,” Kurt replied, pulling Blaine a little tighter, with his free arm that was wrapped around Blaine’s side.
“I really like you, Kurt. I’m glad you’re here for him. Thank you, so much,” Cooper said, before he left the living room and made his way to his own room for the night.
Kurt kissed the top of Blaine’s head, resting his forehead on it. “You don’t have to thank me,” he whispered, breathing in Blaine’s scent.
Kurt didn’t need to be thanked. He wasn’t doing any of this because he wanted to be a good person, or because he wanted something in return. No, he was doing this because the man he loved was in so much pain, and was going through so much. Nothing could keep him away from any of this. He really was glad Cooper liked him though. It meant that he thought Kurt was good enough for Blaine, and that is all he wanted, was for Cooper to not think because they were moving so fast that Kurt was the wrong person, and that Blaine should slow down and find someone else. He wanted Cooper to realize that he and Blaine, they were it for each other. He felt it deep inside him, and he didn’t think any of that would change.
Kurt turned his head and looked at the clock. He noticed it was past ten, Kurt shoot Blaine gently, waking him up. “Come on, honey. Let’s get you to bed.” Blaine made a whine of protest, but eventually did what Kurt said, and pushed himself off Kurt. Kurt stood up first, stretching out, before grabbing Blaine’s hands and pulling him up. “Come on sleepy head. Let’s get you in your bed. “
Kurt led Blaine down the hall, finding his room easily. He pushed the door open, walking in, Blaine following slowly behind him.
“Come on, let’s take your pants off.” Kurt went to work unbuttoning Blaine’s pants and pushing them to the floor, before leading him onto the bed, throwing the covers over Blaine’s body. Kurt shed himself of his own pants, before joining Blaine in bed.
Once in bed, Kurt pulled Blaine into his arms. “I love you, Blaine,” he whispered into the darkness.
“I love you too.” He heard Blaine reply back, as he nuzzled into Kurt’s chest. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight,” Kurt repeated, his eyes sliding shut.
Soon they both drifted off to sleep, content with how close they were to each other.
Author: klainycriss/klaincheltani
Rating: PG-13
Warnings (if any): N/A
Word Count: 36k+
Characters: Klaine, Cooper Anderson, Rachel Berry, Burt Hummel, Mr & Mrs. Anderson
Summary: Finally in the city of his dreams, Kurt Hummel is ready to start college and pursue a new life in New York City. On the first day of class, he meets the love of his life who literally knocks him off his feet. He knows that he wants to spend forever with this man, but their forever might be shorter than he expected...
AN: Written for the Klaine Big Bang. I also want to thank my beta, moonlessky for putting up with my whining and complaining throughout writing this fic. I also want to thank, tarabottiwrites for the lovely art she drew for this story. It couldn't be more perfect!!
As soon as Kurt made it to the hospital, he hurried into the emergency room, going straight up to the front desk. “Um, hi. I’m here to see my boyfriend. He came in earlier I think, with his brother. Blaine Anderson is his name. Please, I’m his boyfriend and I just, I need to see him,” he said, his voice panicked.
“I’m sorry, that’s just not possible. You’re not family, so you can't see him,” the nurse at the window said, looking down at her charts.
Kurt let out a shaky breath, pulling out his phone to call Blaine’s, hoping Copper answers again. “Hello,” Cooper said, after five rings.
“Cooper, they won’t let me in, because I’m not family. Can you please come and tell this nurse I can see him. Please,” Kurt said, almost close to tears.
“I’ll be right there.” With that, Cooper hung up, leaving Kurt standing there waiting for him to get down to the emergency room, and finally take him to see Blaine.
-
Cooper was out in the waiting room in about five minutes, walking straight up to the window. “I’m taking Kurt here with me into the room. Thank you for your time, I guess.” Copper turned around, hurrying away, with Kurt following after him.
They were in Blaine’s room within minutes, Kurt following in after Cooper. He walked in, seeing Blaine laying there, sleeping peacefully. “I knew he was sick and I told him he should go to the doctors. It’s the flu right?” He asked, turning toward Cooper.
Cooper was just about to say something when Blaine’s voice cut him off. “No, Kurt. It’s definitely not the flu.”
Kurt was quick to turn around and rush by Blaine’s side, taking one of Blaine’s hands into his own and kissing it softly. “Blaine, I was so worried,” he whispered, pulling up a chair and taking a seat next to Blaine’s bed, still holding on tightly to his hand.
Blaine looked at him, a soft, worried smile on his face. “Kurt, I need to tell you something,” he announced, his eyes watering.
“Cooper, can you...can you give us a minute?” He asked, swallowing hard, as Cooper gave him a nod and walked out the room.
“What’s going on?” Kurt said, confused as to why Blaine wanted Cooper to leave the room. The air somehow felt like it got tense, and Kurt squeezed Blaine’s hand tighter. “You said it wasn’t the flu. Just a common cold then? Well that is better than the flu, if only by a little bit.” He laughed, lacing his and Blaine’s fingers together.
Blaine looked down at their fingers, his tears now falling freely. “Hey, don’t cry,” Kurt hurried to say, moving his free hand to wipe away Blaine’s tears. “What’s wrong? Everything’s okay.”
Blaine shook his head, pulling his hand away from Kurt’s so that he could push himself up into a sitting position.
Blaine took a deep, shaky breath before he started to talk. “I had a plan, Kurt. I had it all planned out. I was ready, and I don’t know why. I just felt like: oh it’s my time and I should just go with what’s going to inevitably happen. Then one day I wasn’t paying attention, and I literally ran into my future--into someone I could see being my future--one that I didn’t think I would have. I fell in love with you the minute I knocked you on your butt.” He laughed, tears slowly falling down his cheeks. Kurt listened in silence, wanting to hear what Blaine had to say. “There was something about you. It was the way you carried yourself, and how you weren't like anyone else I had met here. You had this light in your eyes and I knew I had to get to know you more. It scared me because I had already decided, and I didn’t need distractions. I just wanted to go to school and spend every day I could doing things I love.”
Blaine stopped, pointing toward his water. Kurt picked it up, handing it over toward Blaine who took a sip, before giving it back to Kurt, who placed it back onto the table beside them.
“I wanted more time with you, so I wanted to do everything possible to get that time. I know it’s not going to be easy and I’m not gonna say it will be, but you made me realize how much I want to be here. I just want a future and if you leave when you know, I’ll understand. But just remember, I love you. Okay? I love you and you helped me. You helped me realize that I just want to be here, and be alive.” Blaine let out a shaky breath, using his hands to wipe away his tears.
Kurt didn’t understand what was happening, but he was also crying. He didn’t like seeing Blaine upset, it hurt him and all he wanted to do was take away that pain. “Blaine? Why would I ever leave you?” He asked, confusion written all over his face.
“I’m sick, Kurt. I’m sick and even getting what I need might not save me. I might be too far along to even make it, but I have to try,” Blaine said, letting out a loud sob. “I don’t want to leave you. I don’t want to be sick. I don’t want to live with this anymore. I just want to be here, with you.”
Kurt’s lips were trembling, taking Blaine’s hand in his own again. “Blaine, what do you mean?” He choked out, his eyes never leaving Blaine’s.
“I have cancer. Not just cancer. I have Leukemia.”
It felt like Kurt’s whole world stopped, like it just froze and the only things that were left moving in time where he and Blaine. “No. You don’t, Blaine no, you don’t have-” Kurt stopped, looking down at his and Blaine’s hands, his breathing becoming ragged. Thinking back to everything that had happened, it all made sense. The headaches, the nosebleeds, the weakness and the weight loss. Blaine was sick. Blaine had...cancer.
Kurt slowly lifted his head, his eyes landing on a crying Blaine. “You’re sick,” Kurt choked out, looking at Blaine with sad eyes. “I don’t-you were...you gave up....You were gonna die, without fighting. How could you? Blaine!” Kurt broke down, his head falling to Blaine’s lap as he let out loud sobs. “You have to fight this, for me, for us. Please,” he plead, crying into Blaine’s lap. “I love you, please.”
“Kurt, come here,” he whispered, scooting over so that Kurt could climb into bed with him. As soon as Kurt was on the bed, he opened his arms for Blaine to crawl into, which he did. He rested his head on Kurt’s chest, as Kurt’s arms held him tightly, almost like he was trying to keep all the bad away. They both had silent tears streaming down their faces, scared of things to come.
“Yeah, I gave up. I thought I was going to die anyways; why make my body go throw all that pain, worse pain than this. Why make myself so weak that I couldn’t even do the things I wanted. I wanted to go to school, and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to. I told my parents I didn’t want the treatment. God, they were so upset. They didn’t want me here, with Cooper. They wanted me to spend what time I had left with them, and I just ...I couldn’t. I ran so fast out of there. I just needed to be here, to spend what time I had left in the one place I loved most, and that was here, with Cooper. Then after a week of being here, there you were, my light shining in this dark world,” Blaine whispered, looking up at Kurt, who was looking back at him and trying his hardest to stop crying. “We had our first date, or our ‘non-date,’ whatever it is you want to call it. Well, after I got home, I walked straight up to Cooper and told him I wanted treatment. We called our parents, and they were beyond thrilled. You saved me, and helped me make this choice, even without knowing.” Blaine nuzzled into Kurt’s stomach, placed a tiny kiss to it, as Kurt listened quietly while running his fingers through Blaine’s soft curls.
“Cooper told me I needed to tell you, but I was so scared you would leave, so I didn’t. I told him I couldn’t, not yet. He didn’t agree, and I don’t blame him. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, and I am so sorry I had you so worried. I didn’t want to tell you and have you leave, and if you didn’t leave I didn’t want to have to tell you about treatment, and you thinking it will work, and then in the end finding out that it didn’t. That’s a very real possibility here, Kurt,” Blaine said, wrapping his arms around Kurt’s middle, as if it would keep him from leaving.
Kurt kissed the top of Blaine’s head, tightening his arm around him. “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. I love you, and I am going to be here with you, to help you fight this.” He buried his face into Blaine’s hair, closing his eyes, trying to keep himself calm.
“I’m terrified, Kurt,” Blaine confessed, after a few minutes of silence. “I don’t want to die. I’m so scared, that this is all going to be for nothing, and that I am going to die. I don’t want to die.” He kept mumbling, over and over, his tears still falling.
“It’s going to be okay, honey. I’m here, I got you.” Kurt then noticed, he had to be the strong one. He had to hold Blaine and keep him here. He had to be strong enough for both of them. Blaine was broken, and he needed to fix him. He had to hope beyond all hope, that this would work, and that they would have the future that should be theirs. Kurt wiped away his own tears. He had to do this for Blaine. He would do this for Blaine. He loved him, after all. “You will get better. We’re going to get you better. I’ve got you, and I am not going anywhere. I promise.”
Kurt held Blaine the rest of the day, as he cried into Kurt’s chest. Cooper hadn’t returned, and Kurt thought it was for the best, at least for now. Blaine needed him, so he wasn't going to go anywhere. Blaine passed out after a while, with Kurt still holding him. When the nurse came in to see how Blaine was doing, Kurt told her he would be okay, eventually. He really hoped it was true. Before she left, she told Kurt a doctor would soon be coming in to talk to Blaine and then check him out. Kurt gave her a polite thank you as he left, and held onto Blaine tighter, as he waited for the doctor to arrive.
-
It had been a few days since Kurt found out about everything, and his mind was still processing. After the doctor had come in, he woke Blaine up, telling him it was imperative that he start his chemo as soon as possible. He was getting worse and worse as the days went on. Kurt had asked him why he hadn’t started yet, and he said they were still working on the paperwork, and waiting for the payment to go through. He said that he would finish the paperwork as soon as possible, and the next day he sent it in. He didn’t want to wait longer than needed, and Kurt was glad. He too wanted to get it started, just to know they were on the right track to doing something.
Kurt hadn't really seen Blaine since the hospital. He just needed time to breathe and so he told Blaine he would call him in a few days after he processed everything that needed to be processed. He missed Blaine though, so much. He wanted to be with him all the time. He knew it was time to talk to Blaine, he was just scared, but he needed to pull through it.
After days of not talking to Blaine, it was time. After picking up his phone, Kurt sent a text to Blaine.
Kurt Hummel: 11:24am: Hey, honey. How are you feeling?
Blaine Anderson: 11:26am: Kurt, hey. I didn’t know when I would hear from you. God, I missed you, and I still do.
Blaine Anderson: 11:26am: I’m feeling as good as to be expected though. Thanks for asking.
Kurt Hummel: 11:30am: I miss you too. My head was just all over the place. I just need some time, and now I have thought everything through. I can do this. I’m going to be here for you. I love you, and we’re going to get through this. I’m glad you’re feeling as good as can be, and not as worse.
Blaine Anderson: 11:31am: Come over?
Kurt Hummel: 11:32am: I would love to come over. Would Cooper mind?
Blaine Anderson: 11:35 am: No, Cooper would be so fine with it. I have been moping around the apartment. And there are some things I want to tell you, about treatment and everything. Cooper knows its better to do that in person.
Kurt Hummel: 11:37 am: Okay, I’ll be there in like an hour or so. I need to shower and whatnot.
Blaine Anderson: 11:38 am: I’ll see you as soon as you get here then. I love you.
Kurt Hummel: 11:39 am: I love you too.
With that, Kurt put his phone on his bed, and started to get ready to finally see his boyfriend again after a few days of no contact.
-
Kurt was at Blaine and Cooper’s apartment in under an hour. He didn’t want to be away from him longer than he needed to be, so he took a quick shower and got dressed as fast as he could, not really caring what he was wearing at the time. He just needed to see Blaine, and know for sure he was doing as okay as he said.
Kurt knocked on Blaine’s door, fidgeting side to side as he waited for Blaine or Cooper to answer it. When he heard someone unlatching the lock, Kurt stopped moving, smiling when he saw it was Blaine who answered. Before the other boy could say anything, Kurt threw his arms around Blaine’s shoulders, pulling him in for a tight hug.
Kurt held on for what felt like a lifetime, but was only a minute. Everything was falling back into place. He couldn’t believe he went so long without seeing or speaking to Blaine. One thing was for sure, he was never going to make that mistake again.
Kurt pulled away, his hand moving to Blaine’s face, to rub his thumb over Blaine’s soft cheek. “I missed you,” he whispered, as if it was a secret.
Blaine’s eyes lit up, like the sky on the fourth of July. “I missed you, too. I was so scared you were going to think this was too much for you. I’m still scared. Please tell you’re not going to leave.” They were still standing in the doorway, Kurt’s hand on Blaine’s cheek, and Blaine’s face set into a frown.
“Let’s talk about this inside, okay,” Kurt said, looking behind him and noticing someone walking down the hall. Blaine nodded and moved to let Kurt in. Once Kurt was inside, Blaine shut the door, taking Kurt’s hand and leading him over to the couch. Blaine sat down, Kurt following soon after.
Kurt took Blaine’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “Blaine,” Kurt started, meeting Blaine’s eyes. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I love you, and I am going to be with you one hundred percent. I’m not letting you go through this alone. I know this is going to be hard, and scary. But it’s worth it. All of it is, because you’re everything to me, and I couldn't just not be with you. I’m fighting for us, and you’re fighting for your life. We’re both going to get through it, and when we’re done, we’re gonna be happy, and you’re going to be alive.” Kurt squeezed Blaine’s hand, giving him a bright smile.
Blaine looked down at their hands, his cheeks going a shade of pink. “My parents said they would pay so, I’m going to fight, as hard as I can. I want to beat this. I want my life back. I love you, and I’m sorry for not telling you about the cancer, and I’m sorry for scaring you. From now on it’s you and me, and I guess Cooper,” Blaine joked, bringing one of Kurt’s hands up to his lips and kissing it softly. “I start Friday. My parent’s are so happy, but I’m so scared. It’s gonna suck, and I know I don’t have that much hair, but it’s all going to fall out. Will you still think I’m attractive when I’m bald?” Blaine said, letting out a wet laugh, as tears started to fall from his eyes.
Kurt rolled his eyes, moving forward and kissing the top of Blaine’s head. “Of course I will. You’re the most attractive man there is. I will still think of you the same way I do now,” Kurt whispered, into Blaine’s hair, before kissing it again.
“Promise?” Blaine asked, full of emotion, his voice cracking.
Kurt remembered another time Blaine asked him to promise something. He now understood why Blaine had asked him, and he did keep that promise, so he knew he could also keep this one too. Blaine wasn’t just some random person he could give up. Blaine was the real thing. He never wanted to let go. So of course he could make any promise, and be sure he would keep it. “I promise.” Kurt repeated back, wrapping his arms around Blaine’s shoulder, and pulling him into another tight hug. This time Kurt didn’t let go, so he and Blaine just fell back onto the couch; Kurt holding him as Blaine rested his head on Kurt’s chest.
Blaine grabbed one of Kurt’s hands, started to play with it, not really speaking. Kurt knew there was something on his mind. He nuzzled his nose into Blaine’s hair and decided it was best to ask. “Hey. What’re you thinking?” He questioned, tilting his head to the side so he could get a better look at Blaine.
Blaine was quiet for a few minutes, not looking at Kurt once. Blaine sighed, moving his body so that his chin was now resting on Kurt’s chest. He locked eyes with Kurt, giving him a sad smile. “What if it doesn’t work? What I’m going to put my body through all this just for it not to work?” Blaine asked, worried, swallowing thickly. “I’m just so scared that I am going to lose this battle. This is the reason why I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to do chemo and then in the end find out it didn’t work. That would have been so much worse, because then I would have fought to stay alive, and it didn’t work. What if that happens?” He choked out, eyes shining with unshed tears.
Kurt nodded, running his fingers through Blaine’s hair. “It’s a big possibility, but I just...Blaine, you are so strong, and if anyone can beat this cancer, it’s you. It’s going to be hard as hell, but it’s going to work, because it’s not too far gone. You’re still in the very best position. The doctor said that the outcome should be good, seeing as how your cancer hasn’t spread, and it’s still just stage two.” Kurt was scared too, he really was, but showing that he was scared was not something he could do. Blaine needed him to be strong, and he was, for Blaine. “I’m going to be by your side, rooting you on. It’s going to work okay. It has to...” He couldn’t lose Blaine, not after he just found him. This was going to work. Blaine was going to get better. There was no other option. He was going to be cancer free. He had to.
“I do want to believe you, but I think I lost all hope a long time ago. I’m going to hold on, as long as I can, for you, and for me.” Blaine’s tears finally started to fall, and he felt so vulnerable, always crying, always losing all his control. He hated this, hated not getting to decide how it turned out. It was all up to his body, and he just hoped that it would be in his favor, this time. Blaine buried his face into Kurt’s chest, letting out a sob, as his hands clenched at Kurt’s sides, making sure he was still there, still real.
Kurt hated seeing Blaine cry. It hurt, so much. He wanted to take all his pain away, but he knew all he could do was be there for him, and let him know things would be okay. But he knew Blaine didn’t believe him. Hell, he didn’t even know if he believed himself, but he had to do it. He needed Blaine to know he was there rooting for him. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine, pulling him in close, and kissing the top of his head, as his own silent tears started to fall. “It’s going to be okay, baby. We’ll get through this, and everything will be better.” Blaine and Kurt laid there, the rest of the night. Kurt holding Blaine as he cried.
About an hour later, Blaine was fast asleep, his grip tight around Kurt, making sure he didn’t go anywhere. Kurt laid there, running his fingers through Blaine’s hair and just thinking about how things would be now. How his life had changed in such a short amount of time. He doesn’t regret meeting Blaine, not at all. In fact he was thankful for it. He and Blaine were brought together by fate, at least it felt like fate. Blaine needed him, just as much as he needed Blaine, and they were going to help each other through this, and Kurt would help Blaine come out stronger.
There was the sound of a door opening and closing, Kurt turned his head, seeing Cooper walking in. His eyes immediately landed on the couch, noticing Kurt and Blaine laid out there, Blaine fast asleep. “Hey,” he whispered, walking into the living room.
“Hey,” Kurt replied, keeping his voice low so that he didn’t wake up Blaine.
“It’s good to see you again. I’m glad you didn’t leave,” Cooper said, as he started making his way out of the living room.
“I could never leave him,” Kurt replied, his eyes drifting down to Blaine’s face, smiling softly. “I love him.”
“I can see that it’s real now. Most people wouldn’t stay,” Copper said, stopping at the end of the couch.
“It is real, and I’m going to be here to help him through this. He needs me. He’s so scared, and I just want to take it all away from him. So yeah, I’m here because I love him, also because I couldn’t be without him, and neither him without me,” Kurt replied, pulling Blaine a little tighter, with his free arm that was wrapped around Blaine’s side.
“I really like you, Kurt. I’m glad you’re here for him. Thank you, so much,” Cooper said, before he left the living room and made his way to his own room for the night.
Kurt kissed the top of Blaine’s head, resting his forehead on it. “You don’t have to thank me,” he whispered, breathing in Blaine’s scent.
Kurt didn’t need to be thanked. He wasn’t doing any of this because he wanted to be a good person, or because he wanted something in return. No, he was doing this because the man he loved was in so much pain, and was going through so much. Nothing could keep him away from any of this. He really was glad Cooper liked him though. It meant that he thought Kurt was good enough for Blaine, and that is all he wanted, was for Cooper to not think because they were moving so fast that Kurt was the wrong person, and that Blaine should slow down and find someone else. He wanted Cooper to realize that he and Blaine, they were it for each other. He felt it deep inside him, and he didn’t think any of that would change.
Kurt turned his head and looked at the clock. He noticed it was past ten, Kurt shoot Blaine gently, waking him up. “Come on, honey. Let’s get you to bed.” Blaine made a whine of protest, but eventually did what Kurt said, and pushed himself off Kurt. Kurt stood up first, stretching out, before grabbing Blaine’s hands and pulling him up. “Come on sleepy head. Let’s get you in your bed. “
Kurt led Blaine down the hall, finding his room easily. He pushed the door open, walking in, Blaine following slowly behind him.
“Come on, let’s take your pants off.” Kurt went to work unbuttoning Blaine’s pants and pushing them to the floor, before leading him onto the bed, throwing the covers over Blaine’s body. Kurt shed himself of his own pants, before joining Blaine in bed.
Once in bed, Kurt pulled Blaine into his arms. “I love you, Blaine,” he whispered into the darkness.
“I love you too.” He heard Blaine reply back, as he nuzzled into Kurt’s chest. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight,” Kurt repeated, his eyes sliding shut.
Soon they both drifted off to sleep, content with how close they were to each other.