Butterfly Effect

[klaatukev]

The other night when Katie and I came back from the cemetery (http://shortnsweet421.livejournal.com/78406.html), the movie "The Butterfly Effect" was on. I'm honestly not a huge Ashton (What the hell kind of name is Ashton, anyway?) Kutcher fan, but the premise had interested me, and

Comments

Is this the Justin of whom we've heard so much praise?

[klaatukev]

I'm very sporadic about checking my LJ. With school and work, I have a hard enough time trying to trick myself into being productive. :-) But next time I'm on I will definitely add Justin. From everything you've said that I can remember, he seems like an awesome guy, and I am really happy that you've found him.

I know where you're coming from with the adage "remember the good times." It seems especially hard for me because I have a peculiarly stubborn brand of bipolar disorder (I wish I leaned more toward the manic than the depressive, but I work with what I've got), but I do try.

It certainly helps that your dad was one of the happiest people I've ever met. Both of our dads have and had this amazing ability to light up a room by their very presence. You and Katie both have inherited this ability from our respective fathers, so he lives on in more than just memories in that respect. Regardless, I know without a doubt that he'd be proud of you. And as I've said before, if you ever need or want to talk about shit that's bugging you or causing your aforementioned pain, I'm here for you.

Re: Is this the Justin of whom we've heard so much praise?

[riahannon]

yes, knb is the infamous justin who still needs to be taken down to elmira among other places. (btw he liked your post and found it intelligent, especially your thoughts around WWII related things... he's very into history and politics hence the especially about that stuff). he's an awesome guy though, i really feel very lucky to be with him (and he's so awesome he feels that way about me too).

i try to focus on the good times because it just feels like when you think (at this at least how it applies to me) about the bad stuff that has happened and then what if ______ didn't happen how would things be different, how would my life be affected, how would _____ life's be different... there is just so much to think about but the problem is it all goes back to the unhappy event and it becomes so consuming and you can just get lost in at all and just feel so hurt and not want to do things and cry or just space out and think more and be unhappy... and at least in the case of my dad & your sister that's not what they'd want at all for us, i'm sure they want us to be happy and remember them and carry them in our hearts but not become too sad they're not with us... i think they'd want to be remembered with a smile and a light heart.

i completely understand that it can be harder when you have some things working against you, but i guess i feel like the more you try to stay positive about things (and i know its not always possible) then when you are in the more depressed state the happy memory might just be that little glimmer of light that's needed, but i know that doesn't always happen.

our dads definately do have some common characteristics, i can see why they were friends because i know that just being related to someone doesn't make you like them or want to talk to them/hang out/be friends with them/etc. i mean i've heard the stories that my dad would drive up to niagara falls to hang out all the time... that def says something.

my mom calls me francesa alot and tells me i'm "just like my father" and at times have even called me his female clone... knowing that i share some traits with him (alot of which are things i just do naturally and didn't know about until someone else would tell me, i've given both my mom and aimee goosebumps before) both means a lot to me (because i love my dad and think he was an awesome person) and hurts because someone i'm share a good number of things in common is no longer alive.
i'm just happy i know my dad loved me and that so many have told me he'd be proud of me... it does mean a lot to me. i want to be able to remind everyone of him, and that he left behind a child that they can hopefully see some of him in. i know i'm going to struggle with his loss for the rest of my life and some days will be better than others, but i know i have people i can talk to, and i really appreciate that, and i always enjoy hearing stories about him... i think i've started rambling and i'm tired, so i'll stop now since i'm sure my comment has gotten overly long... but thanks kevin (and of course if you ever need to talk about anything all you have to do is let me know). and good luck being productive with the school stuff and work.