(no subject)
I loved him and I lied to him because I thought that if I just ignored it it would go away.
And it did, for a while.
I concealed it to retain a perfect relationship just because it meant nothing to me and I didn't want it to mean anything to him.
It was just a peck with a rejection following. A rejection on my part because I knew it was wrong and I knew who I really loved.
He won't see it that way though.
If I had told him it would have made him proud of my rebuttal.
Opposing forces are the only thing keeping us apart.
And the only thing I can do now is be his friend because I just want to know him. And I want him to know me. The real me. The one that cares about him enough to sit there and watch him move on. The one that will help him move on. That's all I can do. Maybe if he sees my sincerity on the issue, he will realize that I have been made into a selfless caring person. The past to days have changed me because now I realize the conduct necessary to be with someone I care about. Who cares if he is hurt, who cares if we aren't together. At least I can sleep tonight knowing that I was honest with him. That's the best I can do. Is be honest with him because I have nothing to lose anymore because I have already lost what is most important to me.
It was just a peck.
And I d it so much that I shut it out for the sake of the continuity of the only thing that has made me happy for the past six months.
We would be together if I wasn't selfish. Selfish because I wanted to keep what made me happy as oppose to what would make us happy.
I'm a coward and now I'm lonely too.
My kitten got killed. Hit by a car.
My computer is broken for reasons unbeknownst to me.
My boyfriend can't love me or trust me because of an idiot day of our fighting.
Don't expect me to bounce back from this. It's going to take time.
If we are meant to be together, we will be. If we are meant to be friends, then we will be.
My life as I know it: I'm honest and sad. I'm lonely and honest.
This is me, as a changed person. This is me as a new person. I've been reborn in the short period of two days.
It's glorious, isn't it?
Sorry if I screwed up your friends page, I'm not in the mood for lj-cut just because I want you to read this.
And it did, for a while.
I concealed it to retain a perfect relationship just because it meant nothing to me and I didn't want it to mean anything to him.
It was just a peck with a rejection following. A rejection on my part because I knew it was wrong and I knew who I really loved.
He won't see it that way though.
If I had told him it would have made him proud of my rebuttal.
Opposing forces are the only thing keeping us apart.
And the only thing I can do now is be his friend because I just want to know him. And I want him to know me. The real me. The one that cares about him enough to sit there and watch him move on. The one that will help him move on. That's all I can do. Maybe if he sees my sincerity on the issue, he will realize that I have been made into a selfless caring person. The past to days have changed me because now I realize the conduct necessary to be with someone I care about. Who cares if he is hurt, who cares if we aren't together. At least I can sleep tonight knowing that I was honest with him. That's the best I can do. Is be honest with him because I have nothing to lose anymore because I have already lost what is most important to me.
It was just a peck.
And I d it so much that I shut it out for the sake of the continuity of the only thing that has made me happy for the past six months.
We would be together if I wasn't selfish. Selfish because I wanted to keep what made me happy as oppose to what would make us happy.
I'm a coward and now I'm lonely too.
My kitten got killed. Hit by a car.
My computer is broken for reasons unbeknownst to me.
My boyfriend can't love me or trust me because of an idiot day of our fighting.
Don't expect me to bounce back from this. It's going to take time.
If we are meant to be together, we will be. If we are meant to be friends, then we will be.
My life as I know it: I'm honest and sad. I'm lonely and honest.
This is me, as a changed person. This is me as a new person. I've been reborn in the short period of two days.
It's glorious, isn't it?
Sorry if I screwed up your friends page, I'm not in the mood for lj-cut just because I want you to read this.