[FIC] [ROUND 039] BASES [PG-13]
Author: erava
Title: Bases
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairing: Gunter, Murata, implied Wolfram/Yuuri
Theme/Prompt(s): Baseball, nosebleeds
Word Count: 863
Warning(s): Mentioned sexual situations. And silliness. Is there any challenge I can't turn into crack?
A/N: For the base system explained, go here.
"Wow, it's really empty today! Even Lord von Voltaire is gone!"
Gunter looked up from his roses to find the Great Sage on one of his few (and getting fewer) visits to the castle. He bowed respectfully. "His Majesty is attending a baseball game, Your Eminence."
Murata nodded and grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, he mentioned it a few times. First game on their new field, right? I forgot it was today." He seated himself on one of the stone benches nearby. "Well, I wanted to chat and catch up on some juicy gossip, but I guess I chose a bad time." The double black sighed and shrugged. "Out of curiosity, do you know any little tidbits I can take back to satisfy the priestesses?"
The royal aide nearly jumped at the opportunity to broach his second favorite subject: the king's love life. (The first was the king himself, of course.) "Recently, His Majesty has been more publicly displaying affection for the self- I mean, for Lord von Bielefeld. There is word that he has been discussing wedding plans with Lady Cheri."
The sage's eyes flashed mischievously. "Really now? That'll cause quite a stir back at the temple. There's a rather large betting pool concerning the ceremony's colors, I hear." He sighed. "I wonder...how far do you think they've gotten?"
Gunter blinked in confusion. "By 'how far', what do you..."
Murata explained. "Around the bases, I mean. From what you've told me, they must have gotten past first base. From past experience, third base seems highly possible. Perhaps," he grinned, "they've even scored a few points?"
Gunter just stared blankly.
The sage laughed. "Sorry. It's an Earth metaphor." He went into sagely-explanation-mode. " 'How far around the bases' is a euphemism for how far two people have gone relationship-wise. Sexually, in other words."
Gunter's eyes widened in comprehension. "So, these bases mean..."
"First base is usually interpreted as kissing, or French- well, kissing with tongue." Murata inwardly laughed at the royal aide's scandalized expression. "Second base would be a little more intimate. Roaming hands, I suppose." He winked. "Third base involves a little more mouth and tongue contact with a...certain area." He glanced downward to make his point, mentally cackling at the other man's shock. "And scoring, or 'hitting a home run', would be...well, going all the way."
Gunter was scandalized. "His Majesty would never...not before marriage!"
Murata laughed and waved it off. "Of course not! I was just joking around. Oh, look, here they come!"
And indeed, an entourage of happy, dirty, and sweaty castle residents were making their way across the courtyard. The two watched as the double black at the head of the group climbed onto a bench and congratulated everyone before dismissing them to clean up. Finally, they made their way over to the rose garden.
"Murata!" Yuuri slapped his friend on the back. "You haven't visited in a while! Sorry we were all out!"
The sage grinned happily. "Nah, it's no problem. How was the game?"
The young king's eyes lit up. "It was great! You guys should have been there! Well, at first the other team was beating us, but Conrad managed to strike out their best player, then it was finally our turn to bat..."
Gunter tuned out His Majesty's rambling and continued tending his roses because in all honesty (and he would strangle anyone who would ever reveal this), he couldn't summon up any actual enthusiasm for the king's favorite sport.
"...then Greta actually made it to first base! I'm so proud! Anyway, the other..."
The royal aide stumbled and almost toppled into his rosebed in shock. Greta? First base? And His Majesty was proud?! The Maou and his consort-to-be had made it very clear that anyone that touched their daughter would be flayed and burned alive! Yet there was Lord von Bielefeld, standing by his fiance and glowing with just as much pride at his daughter's accomplishment.
Shaking it off, Gunter decided that he must have heard incorrectly and turned back to the flower bed. He hummed happily as he watered his favorite rosebush.
"...so Yozak and Dorcas were on third base, right? Then..."
The watering pot crashed to the ground. Yozak and...Dorcas?! There hadn't been even the slightest rumor, and they were already doing...that? Publicly?!
"Gunter?"
He found black eyes frowning in concern. "You okay?"
The royal aide nodded fervently. "Yes, yes, Your Majesty. No need to worry about me!" He quickly righted his watering pot and picked up a pair of clippers, busying himself with trimming a tree.
Yuuri shrugged and turned back to his conversation. Conrart took his chance to interject. "Wolfram scored several times, did he not?"
The tutor froze. The selfish loafer? With who?!
Wolfram flushed and turned away, embarrassed at the praise. He quickly changed the subject. "W-well, Yuuri was best, of course! He hit the most home runs!"
At this, Gunter erupted in a nosebleed.
Yuuri looked back at him worriedly. "What's with him?"
Murata shrugged, cackling inwardly. How he loved complicating the life of the little king. "Must be the heat of the day. So, anyway, I've been hearing things about a wedding, and I was thinking about colors..."
~End~
A/N: This came from reading too much xkcd. What can I say? It's a fun webcomic.
Lots of love!
^ - ^