[Fic] [Round 20] If He Had Known, PG
Author: The JohhnyMcKilt Productions
Characters/Pairings: one-sided WolfYuu, SaraYuu
Word Count: 736
Rating: PG
Warnings: angst, Season 3 spoilers Eps. 96-98
Theme/Prompt being used: Jealousy
A/N: Asking for forgiveness for typos beforehand. Major run-on sentences ahead. The entire this is like someone rambling for Wolfram. Enjoy!
EDIT: Sorry if anyone saw the formatting glitches last weekend. I was being screwed by the internet. TT^TT
If he had known, what would he have done?
If he had known that is one true beloved was actually capable of reciprocating his feelings of love and devotion, but chose to give those affections to someone else, what would he have thought?
If Wolfram had known where Saralegui took Yuuri after their anticipated ambush in the castle by Gerard and his treasonous guards, if he had known where they hid, if he had known what they had talked about, what would he have said?
If Wolfram had known what Yuuri thought about Saralegui, what would he have felt?
If he had known all that, then, needless to say, the Prince's heart would have been violently and unceremoniously ripped out of his chest, trampled under foot by a Goala and thrust back into his bleeding chest cavity, forced to beat as before.
The pain would have been as strong as it was overwhelming. So much so that the soldier part of him would have to step forward and reign his impulsive side in, take over and remind him of his duty to his king and his country, regardless of his feelings.
Indeed, Wolfram wouldn't know what to do, granted he know. How shallow it would seem to call Yuuri a cheater, knowing that this time it was undeniably and undoubtedly true. It was hopeless to get angry, knowing he wouldn't get anywhere, because people around him knew he was short tempered toward just about anything and wouldn't take him seriously, deeming him an incapable soldier for following his heart and not his head.
Choosing to bottle up the pain inside, letting them take over and be the death of him sounded tempting. But suicide was cowardly and even if he knew he didn't matter to Yuuri more than given, the black-haired boy wouldn't have been able to let him go anyway.
If Wolfram had known, then this pain would be real.
It would be a far cry from all those times he accused Yuuri of his imaginary infidelity. It would override his immature, jealous facade and claw at his insides, appealing to the attention-seeking, unloved child inside, crying since the day his little big brother Conrart left for the war, knowing nothing but abandonment, emotional barriers crumbling at every turn.
It would hurt most knowing it was his own fault for pushing Yuuri away, secretly hoping the king would chase after him, trying to undo his bratty ways, not knowing he could resign himself to Wolfram being the annoying way he was, give up and look the other way. What did Wolfram do? Get even more angry!
If Wolfram had known Yuuri and Sara were too close for a hug as they hid in that coffin, if he had known Yuuri had no qualms about thinking that the other boy was more beautiful at the angle he was viewing him from and that he thought Sara smelled nice without the decency to blush (whereas all those times Wolfram and Yuuri shared a bed, a bed, the latter had the nerve to freak out)!
If Wolfram had heard Yuuri's quickened heartbeat as those midnight black eyes feasted themselves on Sara's delectable neck, the way that single lock of long blonde hair cascaded down his skin...
...yes, the pain would indeed be real.
If he had known, and despite knowing, stuck close to his duty as the king's guard, protected Yuuri in his emotionally detached manner, mustered up the courage to flash his king a smile of reassurance as they fled for Saralegui's infiltrated castle...
If.
...then Wolfram wouldn't have gasped in mere shock and righteous indignation when Sara took that arrow for Yuuri as they went to negotiate with King Lanzhil of Big Shimeron.
He would not have shared the anguish of everyone on that field as blood showered the grass. Wolfram would have gotten a perverse sense of comfort seeing Sara mortally wounded, but his heart would have shed a tear for Yuuri's sake, in seeing him so hurt by the harsh cruelties of this world.
Granted that Wolfram knew. He didn't.
And for all Shinou's mischeif, he loved his blonde descendant well enough to spare him from all that pain, knowing Wolfram wouldn't be able to love Yuuri any less, regardless whether the double black boy would ever look his way as he did Sara's.
Wolfram was enduring enough as it is.
END