(no subject)
King John: A Parody
(Scene opens with King John sitting on his throne with a silly crown on his head and a smirk on his face. He is playing with a small toy, possibly a coin or candy bar, and cares nothing about the mass tragedies that are occurring in his country)
John: It’s good to be king!
(Enter Advisor 1)
Advisor: The kingdom is crumbling! You’ve just lost half our land to France!
John: WAHHH!
(Advisor throws coin to John and John goes crazy, grabbing for the coin)
John: YAY!!!
(Advisor sighs, and leaves John playing with coin)
(Advisor 2 enters)
Advisor 2: Sir, the people are rioting in the streets!
John: Why?
Advisor 2: Because you raised the taxes another 10%!
John: Mo’money? Yo, it be good to be king. Represent!
(Advisor 2 leaves)
(John tosses coins around)
(Advisor 3 enters)
Advisor 3:You’re the worst king ever! You’re terrible and I’m going to take a stand against you!
John: WAHHH! Jail! 30 years!
(Advisor 3 gets dragged offstage)
John: It’s good to be king.
(Enter Nobles)
Noble: King John, will you sign our document? It’s called (happy voice) the Magna Carta!
John: Noo….
Noble 2: We’ll give you a candy bar!
John: Yay!!!
(Noble digs in pockets and finds a Milky Way. John becomes occupied with the candy bar while the nobles take his hand and sign the document with it)
John: It’s good to be king?
(Nobles leave with Magna Carta and satisfied looks on their faces as John finishes shoving the candy into his mouth)
Part 2
King John: A Story
In the middle ages, one of England’s most notorious kings was King John, brother of Richard the ‘Lion-Hearted.’ But although they were brothers, they did not share the same traits. One day, John was sitting on his throne when he was approached by one of his advisors. The advisor said, “The kingdom is crumbling! You’ve lost half our land to England!”
Naturally, John responded with tears: “Wahhh!”
So the advisor sighed, threw a coin to John, stopping his tears instantly, and walked away. John began to play with the coin but was soon approached by another of his advisors: “Sir, the people are rioting in the streets!”
“What?” said King John. “Why?”
“Because you’ve raised taxes another 10%!” exclaimed the advisor.
“Oh,” said the king. “Mo’ money? Yo, it be good to be king. Represent!”
Like the first, the second advisor sighed and left. John tossed his coins around for a little bit, when suddenly, a commotion occurred. A third advisor stormed into the room and screamed to the king, “You’re the worst ever! You’re nothing but an incompetent loser and I’m making a stand against you!”
Of course, John reacted in a very un-kingly manner: “Wahhh! Jail! 30 years!” and the third advisor was dragged away. John responded to his shouts of hatred with “It’s good to be king.”
However, a king this terrible is also very easy to manipulate. A group of clever nobles entered holding a document. “King John, will you sign our document? It’s called the Magna Carta.” John initially refused, but after the offer of a candy bar, he became distracted and the nobles were able to grab his hand and force him to sign the paper. John finished stuffing the candy into his mouth as the nobles left with a look of satisfaction on their faces.
John, confused, just looked at the remaining advisors, and said to them,” It’s good to be king?”