(no subject)
It's wierd. Everything is so perfect, yet I'm miserable. I know that the reason Brittany and I fight so much is because we're constantly together, but I hate being without her. And I know that I start 90% of the fights, but I can't help it. Sometimes I wish I was still on my anti-depressants because at least then I was tolerable. Today it feels like everyone hates me for no reason. Yet, Jay took me out to dinner, Vj was really happy to see me, Jes and Matt both want to hang out with me, and Brit didn't seem too happy to leave me. I think I'm just getting tired of not having money and and job and whatnot. Whatever.
I start work on Thursday. It's some Catholic ass retirement center. I get to sit and pray for an hour and get paid for it. I was considering going back to church. I miss believing in something. I'm so stubborn and I tend to only believe in what's "real" and set out in front of me. I should probably be a little more open minded. But I don't know. I miss my Uncle Lew. Cancer's a dickhead.
Mother's day was good. My mom cried when she read my card and that made me feel really good about myself. Mainly because I wrote her a little note saying how happy I was that we finally got so close. It makes me really happy because now my sister isn't the complete center of attention. That sounds really selfish. I guess we're equal now. I love my parents, and Aunt Nance. I hope she had a good Mother's day, too, because she deserves it. She's one hell of a mommy.
Brittany didn't answer when I called and I just got really upset, even though I KNOW what she's doing and where she is. I'm so stupid.
Kristen comes home in less than a month. It feels really good to say that. I can't wait to love her. Vj said she's sick and I'm really upset about that. Too bad I can't call her. Idk. Maybe he'll let me use his cell. I miss her so much.
Last night was amazing and I can't even explain why.
No one reads this shit. I'm such a gayass.
I start work on Thursday. It's some Catholic ass retirement center. I get to sit and pray for an hour and get paid for it. I was considering going back to church. I miss believing in something. I'm so stubborn and I tend to only believe in what's "real" and set out in front of me. I should probably be a little more open minded. But I don't know. I miss my Uncle Lew. Cancer's a dickhead.
Mother's day was good. My mom cried when she read my card and that made me feel really good about myself. Mainly because I wrote her a little note saying how happy I was that we finally got so close. It makes me really happy because now my sister isn't the complete center of attention. That sounds really selfish. I guess we're equal now. I love my parents, and Aunt Nance. I hope she had a good Mother's day, too, because she deserves it. She's one hell of a mommy.
Brittany didn't answer when I called and I just got really upset, even though I KNOW what she's doing and where she is. I'm so stupid.
Kristen comes home in less than a month. It feels really good to say that. I can't wait to love her. Vj said she's sick and I'm really upset about that. Too bad I can't call her. Idk. Maybe he'll let me use his cell. I miss her so much.
Last night was amazing and I can't even explain why.
No one reads this shit. I'm such a gayass.