(no subject)
So tonight I got outta work earlier than usual..my fantastic father picked me up and dropped me at jen's house to chill out for a lil...I started cleaning up a lil, and ruined part of jen's birthday surprise (wanna give her a nice place to live...clean that shit up real nice-like)...and then yammy and diego came to join me jen and luchey...
They started drinking, and talking about hitting the bars. It came up that I'm not gonna drink anymore for a while, and a conversation insued about how I should just drink a few drinks. Damn, I wish I could do that. Shit! Saturday may just be harder than I'm expecting. All of a sudden it all seemed to get a lot more real, as most things do in my life as the moment is upon me.
How'm I gonna do this? I have never...not ONCE gone into a bar with a bunch of my friends and not had a SINGLE drink. Its for the best. I know that logically, but this is gonna be really hard. As soon as I get into a bar, I'm gonna be overwhelmed by the urge to drink like a fish. What the hell am I gonna do with myself?
I keep trying to tell myself that its gonna be fine...it won't really be so hard. And I know that on Sunday morning, I'm gonna be so proud of myself...
I just hope I can have a good time anyway. (way to sound like an alchololic, Dahl!) But its true.
I mean, I KNOW I'm not gonna drink...I can't. Even if its a matter of principle, which I guess it kinda is...Shit though! It'll be fine. I'll be fine.
I feel like such a shmuck for having this be such a big deal. And I really feel bad for not partying for jen's birthday extravagaanza, I know she's kinda upset about it, but I really can't. Drinkig on Saturday is the wrong thing to do. I just havta keep reminding myself of that.
I have done this to myself. I let myself get to this point where this must be done...at least for a while...Sometimes I feel like I stood idly by and watched as I became some crazy drunken psycho lunatic.
It will get easier with time...all things do.
And remember this...I will be back...and I will have learned how to control myself...*i hope
*sigh
that's it...had to get it off my chest.
Night
~(sober, at least for a WHILE) Dahl
They started drinking, and talking about hitting the bars. It came up that I'm not gonna drink anymore for a while, and a conversation insued about how I should just drink a few drinks. Damn, I wish I could do that. Shit! Saturday may just be harder than I'm expecting. All of a sudden it all seemed to get a lot more real, as most things do in my life as the moment is upon me.
How'm I gonna do this? I have never...not ONCE gone into a bar with a bunch of my friends and not had a SINGLE drink. Its for the best. I know that logically, but this is gonna be really hard. As soon as I get into a bar, I'm gonna be overwhelmed by the urge to drink like a fish. What the hell am I gonna do with myself?
I keep trying to tell myself that its gonna be fine...it won't really be so hard. And I know that on Sunday morning, I'm gonna be so proud of myself...
I just hope I can have a good time anyway. (way to sound like an alchololic, Dahl!) But its true.
I mean, I KNOW I'm not gonna drink...I can't. Even if its a matter of principle, which I guess it kinda is...Shit though! It'll be fine. I'll be fine.
I feel like such a shmuck for having this be such a big deal. And I really feel bad for not partying for jen's birthday extravagaanza, I know she's kinda upset about it, but I really can't. Drinkig on Saturday is the wrong thing to do. I just havta keep reminding myself of that.
I have done this to myself. I let myself get to this point where this must be done...at least for a while...Sometimes I feel like I stood idly by and watched as I became some crazy drunken psycho lunatic.
It will get easier with time...all things do.
And remember this...I will be back...and I will have learned how to control myself...*i hope
*sigh
that's it...had to get it off my chest.
Night
~(sober, at least for a WHILE) Dahl