i feel bad. i feel bad.
start: 11:03 am
i feel bad
i feel bad that i am stuck here supposedly working on my take home final that im suppose to be studyin and working hard
i feel bad that i feel so trapped
i feel bad that i am so udderly broke and yes something just sold but i just sold something a couple of days before that and i already went and spent all that already
i feel bad that everyone is out and doing other things and the best thing i can do is read up on it while im taking a break
i feel bad that i dont feel like im going anywhere in life
i feel bad that the things i want, i will never get because i have tunneled myself into science.
i should feel lucky but all i can think of is what someone else is doing and the level of jealousy is no good
i feel bad about being who i am. i feel so utterly worthless and i dont feel like im going anywhere in my life that im trapped and that i am worthless
why cant i be there? why cant i be with them? why cant i be doing that too?
i feel bad because i am so socially awkward that NO ONE wants to choose to hang out with me when they can choose to hang out with someone else. i feel bad that i worked for so long to be closer to people but i am so bad at it that it doesn't follow easily. this is how i feel
i feel bad that i am always trapped up in davis or in my lab and that no one wants to invite me out or have me join because i am just so plum boring or awkward or shy or not a natural at things. WHY CANT I BE A NATURAL
i feel bad that no one wants to stand up and admit that they feel the same. or that someone from that group would say wait what about tivonne? why wasnt she invited? where is she? how did you forget her?
i feel bad that im not there. that im not with them. i really feel bad.
maybe i cant be friends with them anymore. maybe i should give up. maybe it just isnt meant to be. because this isnt the first time ive felt like this.
maybe im meant to just keep having a rotating group of friends and that no matter how much i try and want. i know that if i push too hard i wont be wanted or i wont fit. or ill make them push away because im too much. so im always fighting with the fear that i will do mroe damage then progress that ive made
WHY cant i be first? when ever will i be first in the group of people wanting to do things.
heck - when will i be included in the group?
break: 11: 20 am
i feel bad
i feel bad that i am stuck here supposedly working on my take home final that im suppose to be studyin and working hard
i feel bad that i feel so trapped
i feel bad that i am so udderly broke and yes something just sold but i just sold something a couple of days before that and i already went and spent all that already
i feel bad that everyone is out and doing other things and the best thing i can do is read up on it while im taking a break
i feel bad that i dont feel like im going anywhere in life
i feel bad that the things i want, i will never get because i have tunneled myself into science.
i should feel lucky but all i can think of is what someone else is doing and the level of jealousy is no good
i feel bad about being who i am. i feel so utterly worthless and i dont feel like im going anywhere in my life that im trapped and that i am worthless
why cant i be there? why cant i be with them? why cant i be doing that too?
i feel bad because i am so socially awkward that NO ONE wants to choose to hang out with me when they can choose to hang out with someone else. i feel bad that i worked for so long to be closer to people but i am so bad at it that it doesn't follow easily. this is how i feel
i feel bad that i am always trapped up in davis or in my lab and that no one wants to invite me out or have me join because i am just so plum boring or awkward or shy or not a natural at things. WHY CANT I BE A NATURAL
i feel bad that no one wants to stand up and admit that they feel the same. or that someone from that group would say wait what about tivonne? why wasnt she invited? where is she? how did you forget her?
i feel bad that im not there. that im not with them. i really feel bad.
maybe i cant be friends with them anymore. maybe i should give up. maybe it just isnt meant to be. because this isnt the first time ive felt like this.
maybe im meant to just keep having a rotating group of friends and that no matter how much i try and want. i know that if i push too hard i wont be wanted or i wont fit. or ill make them push away because im too much. so im always fighting with the fear that i will do mroe damage then progress that ive made
WHY cant i be first? when ever will i be first in the group of people wanting to do things.
heck - when will i be included in the group?
break: 11: 20 am