A smattering of information...
As some know and others don't, I'm in my new apartment. After my sister and I decided that it would probably be best if we didn't live together anymore. That would have worked out just fine for me, since I was on track to move across the country. Well, much to my regret, that plan fell through and left me with a conundrum. I needed to figure out where I was going to live. After searching around a bit, I came across my new residence. I have a coworker that lives here, so I've seen it before, and the rent isn't going to kill me from month to month. I figured it would be the best I could find for now. The only other options were ones that just didn't really translate into something I could afford, or I just had a bad feeling about them overall.
I've been here for about 20 days now, my thermostat still isn't fixed, my neighbors are loud most of the time, and I'm still broke as hell from the move and my spending during the holidays. The thermostat really isn't much of a problem except for when I get up at 4:45am to get ready for work. Then I'm a little cold. The neighbors aren't really a problem, seeing as how I'm sure with my surround system and/or computer, I'll be just as loud with the bass on my subwoofer or the random gunfire or explosions from the games I play. As for being broke, I spent all the money I had saved to move across the country. I was feeling extremely down, depressed, and hurt when it turned out that I couldn't move, so I bought myself my Xbox (which I absolutely love and have no regrets in buying it) and also spent more on Christmas for people then I had originally planned. So, I know I put myself in this situation, and this isn't me complaining, it's just information, I guess.
The only thing or two that I am having a problem with is that this new place doesn't feel like home. I'm sure it's because I just moved here, but still, it's just this feeling that I'm staying at a friend's place or something. Sure, all my stuff is all over the place, but I just don't have that comfort level yet. Maybe I should just walk around naked all day one day, knowing that no one is going to come home or something. And that does kind of lead into the next thing that is bugging and really bumming me out.
I haven't lived alone in awhile now. It's nice, I enjoy it. Don't get me wrong here, that's not exactly the trouble. It's just that I had forgotten how lonely it is. And I don't just feel like, man, I wish I had someone to talk to. It's just that when I was going to be moving, there was going to be someone there who I was assuming I was going to be spending a lot of time with. And on top of that, I felt like I was going to be in a normal type of relationship again. I would be kidding myself if I said I have had one since my divorce 4 years ago. Hell, I don't even think I would consider that relationship normal, but that's beside the point. Anyways, the fact that I'm living alone just seems to emphasis that I'm very lonely that way as well. When I did have a roommate, it wasn't a blatant, "Hey there, you don't have anyone to come home to." In a way, I did. There just wasn't the added depth of relationship that I want with a roommate. Not that the two roommates I did have I would want it with them. VERY far from it, considering one of them was my sister. >cringe< But at least I had someone to hang out with. It was just the random human contact that was nice. Now it just feels... well... shitty.
Well, I'll just keep trucking along like I have been, dealing with life as it comes. At least without any sort of relationship-type interaction, I don't have to spend money on that. Who knows? I just might get my finances back to something resembling good and in check. Maybe I'll move myself into the modern age one of these days by being able to afford fancy things like an HDTV, or a DVR, or God willing, a device that let's me blend, puree, and liquify all with a press of a button!
EDIT: Another sucky being alone thing is that my back has been hurting a ton. A back rub would be rather nice right now.
I've been here for about 20 days now, my thermostat still isn't fixed, my neighbors are loud most of the time, and I'm still broke as hell from the move and my spending during the holidays. The thermostat really isn't much of a problem except for when I get up at 4:45am to get ready for work. Then I'm a little cold. The neighbors aren't really a problem, seeing as how I'm sure with my surround system and/or computer, I'll be just as loud with the bass on my subwoofer or the random gunfire or explosions from the games I play. As for being broke, I spent all the money I had saved to move across the country. I was feeling extremely down, depressed, and hurt when it turned out that I couldn't move, so I bought myself my Xbox (which I absolutely love and have no regrets in buying it) and also spent more on Christmas for people then I had originally planned. So, I know I put myself in this situation, and this isn't me complaining, it's just information, I guess.
The only thing or two that I am having a problem with is that this new place doesn't feel like home. I'm sure it's because I just moved here, but still, it's just this feeling that I'm staying at a friend's place or something. Sure, all my stuff is all over the place, but I just don't have that comfort level yet. Maybe I should just walk around naked all day one day, knowing that no one is going to come home or something. And that does kind of lead into the next thing that is bugging and really bumming me out.
I haven't lived alone in awhile now. It's nice, I enjoy it. Don't get me wrong here, that's not exactly the trouble. It's just that I had forgotten how lonely it is. And I don't just feel like, man, I wish I had someone to talk to. It's just that when I was going to be moving, there was going to be someone there who I was assuming I was going to be spending a lot of time with. And on top of that, I felt like I was going to be in a normal type of relationship again. I would be kidding myself if I said I have had one since my divorce 4 years ago. Hell, I don't even think I would consider that relationship normal, but that's beside the point. Anyways, the fact that I'm living alone just seems to emphasis that I'm very lonely that way as well. When I did have a roommate, it wasn't a blatant, "Hey there, you don't have anyone to come home to." In a way, I did. There just wasn't the added depth of relationship that I want with a roommate. Not that the two roommates I did have I would want it with them. VERY far from it, considering one of them was my sister. >cringe< But at least I had someone to hang out with. It was just the random human contact that was nice. Now it just feels... well... shitty.
Well, I'll just keep trucking along like I have been, dealing with life as it comes. At least without any sort of relationship-type interaction, I don't have to spend money on that. Who knows? I just might get my finances back to something resembling good and in check. Maybe I'll move myself into the modern age one of these days by being able to afford fancy things like an HDTV, or a DVR, or God willing, a device that let's me blend, puree, and liquify all with a press of a button!
EDIT: Another sucky being alone thing is that my back has been hurting a ton. A back rub would be rather nice right now.