Everything burns
It's been an interesting week. I don't know exactly how to talk about it. Just, it's odd when someone has acted on one consistantly for awhile, then suddenly everything changes. I tend to worry, even though I'm sure everything is alright, but it's just a little weird, awkward, and uncomfortable now and then. I mean, I can think of a million things of what it could be, most of which are hugely fiction, but they pop up anyways. What I have to remember is that not everyone is like me. When I have a problem, I like to talk to people about it. It helps me work through it. Some people, a lot of them, work it through on their own before they dream of sharing. It's just something you have to get used to with people.
On that note, I am realizing something about myself that I never really thought would happen. I guess it comes with the whole new me that has been taking place since my divorce. Most of my life I have always been there for people. I would say really to the point of letting them take advantage of my kindness and caring. It was one of those situations where I would always be there for their problems, yet when some of my own would appear, they would be nowhere to be found. I kept that up about myself for along time. In fact, what would happen a bunch would be me going to talk to someone about my problem, then they turned it around to theirs, I would get nowhere, and it would end like that. So, about a year ago, I started just being there for any and everyone. I turned very selfish to the point where I just didn't want to deal with everyone else's problems. There were times when it felt wrong, and there were times when it really felt right. There are just a couple people who I will still drop anything for and help out in any way I can. I would like to think they know who they are, but I'm sure they don't. And since it's kind of mean to tell them who they are and leave other people out, I'm not going to say anything.
Ok, that was a bit weird... but oh well. Basically, I guess the short of it is, even though I am selfish when it comes to myself and the help I offer... I'm still here for you. I just don't think this will get to who it's meant for.
On that note, I am realizing something about myself that I never really thought would happen. I guess it comes with the whole new me that has been taking place since my divorce. Most of my life I have always been there for people. I would say really to the point of letting them take advantage of my kindness and caring. It was one of those situations where I would always be there for their problems, yet when some of my own would appear, they would be nowhere to be found. I kept that up about myself for along time. In fact, what would happen a bunch would be me going to talk to someone about my problem, then they turned it around to theirs, I would get nowhere, and it would end like that. So, about a year ago, I started just being there for any and everyone. I turned very selfish to the point where I just didn't want to deal with everyone else's problems. There were times when it felt wrong, and there were times when it really felt right. There are just a couple people who I will still drop anything for and help out in any way I can. I would like to think they know who they are, but I'm sure they don't. And since it's kind of mean to tell them who they are and leave other people out, I'm not going to say anything.
Ok, that was a bit weird... but oh well. Basically, I guess the short of it is, even though I am selfish when it comes to myself and the help I offer... I'm still here for you. I just don't think this will get to who it's meant for.