A post from the past...
This was originally written on my parents couch 4-6-07 at 4:30pm.
So far I'm right i what I predicted for this grand weekend. My dad is at work, my mom and sister are each taking a nap, and I'm just lounging around watching TV. At least Heroes is on. Out of the TV shows that are on these days, Heroes and Battlestar Galactica are really the only things that hold my interest. Well, in dramatic TV anyways. And even Battlestar is something I have not caught up on, since I haven't seen any of the 3rd season yet.
Anyways, the only thing I can keep thinking of, of course, is not a thing, but a person. It's kind of pathetic. I have had a completely irrational hope that this whole break up was a lead up to a grand, wonderous birthday surprise where I would come to California and she would be waiting for me at the airport. I've known this whole time, and I know something like that wouldn't happen, but that's what I was grasping on to for awhile.
So, I keep thinking about her. I wonder if she thinks about me the same way. You don't just stop caring for someone after all. We still talk, we still appreciate each other's company in whatever way we have it, and it really feels like we are still kind of together, without being together. I mean, distance sucks. We are not together, and able to date other people if someone were to come along. Yet, there isn't anyone else out there that would work for me as well. I don't know if i'm saving myself for her, due to realistic, or false hope, or if I am just not willing to say goodbye. I've already had someone try and pick me up. Of course it's no one I would try and do anything with, but it is nice to get little ego boosts now and again when you feel alone and sad. I still miss her everyday, every hour, and all the time. I am still going to see about visiting again. I don't know how that will go, and I really don't know if she'd welcome me the way I think she would.
Well, people are waking up, more late.
So far I'm right i what I predicted for this grand weekend. My dad is at work, my mom and sister are each taking a nap, and I'm just lounging around watching TV. At least Heroes is on. Out of the TV shows that are on these days, Heroes and Battlestar Galactica are really the only things that hold my interest. Well, in dramatic TV anyways. And even Battlestar is something I have not caught up on, since I haven't seen any of the 3rd season yet.
Anyways, the only thing I can keep thinking of, of course, is not a thing, but a person. It's kind of pathetic. I have had a completely irrational hope that this whole break up was a lead up to a grand, wonderous birthday surprise where I would come to California and she would be waiting for me at the airport. I've known this whole time, and I know something like that wouldn't happen, but that's what I was grasping on to for awhile.
So, I keep thinking about her. I wonder if she thinks about me the same way. You don't just stop caring for someone after all. We still talk, we still appreciate each other's company in whatever way we have it, and it really feels like we are still kind of together, without being together. I mean, distance sucks. We are not together, and able to date other people if someone were to come along. Yet, there isn't anyone else out there that would work for me as well. I don't know if i'm saving myself for her, due to realistic, or false hope, or if I am just not willing to say goodbye. I've already had someone try and pick me up. Of course it's no one I would try and do anything with, but it is nice to get little ego boosts now and again when you feel alone and sad. I still miss her everyday, every hour, and all the time. I am still going to see about visiting again. I don't know how that will go, and I really don't know if she'd welcome me the way I think she would.
Well, people are waking up, more late.