Hello again...
So, as some of you know, I have a Nintendo Wii. And if you know that, you probably know that I traded a bunch of stuff in so I could get it, that I have been excited about it for awhile now, and also know me well enough to know that I express said excitement.
So, with all that being said, I did the logical thing and requested the release day off of work. I knew that I would be getting it at the midnight release, therefore most likely choosing to stay up late that night, messing around with it and not being awake enough for work the next day.
So, it's the Saturday before the Wii release. I'm at work, and everyone is mocking me because i'm taking a day off for a video game, of the fact that it's a "children's" toy. I was the one that made all the bad Wii puns, so in a way, I was fine with it.
What hit me more then anything as something kind of disrespectful was what one of my co-workers started confronting me about. He kind of looked at me and said something along the lines of,"Ben, you really need to... what's the word...?"
"Grow up?
"No, not exactly... something more like, live in reality."
So, I did what any self-respecting, realistic person did and asked, "What do you mean by that?"
The best explanation he could come up with was that I need to be more mindful of how others view me. My first question back to him was, "Why should I care what others think of me?"
Sadly, he couldn't really answer that. He just kept coming up with the idea that it's important how I present myself to other people. I asked him why again. He just kept reiterating all of that until finally he threw out,"Well, let's say you die. What would your family and friends say about you?"
My reaction was something along the lines of, "Well, if they are really my friends and family, then they will accept me for who I am, and what I have done. It won't matter what their perceptions are because they actually accept me."
"Well, it's not that I don't accept you, I just think you need to be more mature, or mindful of how you are seen."
So I had to respond with, "Like I said, if they are my friends and family, they won't care about any of that. On top of that, I have spent most of my life trying to turn myself into something that I'm not, something to make someone else happy. All that while, I was miserable. Now, being completely accepting of who I am, and of what I like, how I act, and the people I choose to surround myself with, I am the happiest I could be. I won't go back to changing myself for other people, just because it might not be the most socially acceptable thing. I love video games, I love Star Wars, I laugh loudly, and will have fun with whatever I do. It doesn't matter to me what others think."
And that is about where it kind of ended. A couple days later, he attempted to breach the subject again, but I just held my position.
Now, it doesn't really upset me, I'm not mad by the conversation or anything, but it does bother me. What bothers me is that he can't seem to get past the thought of me not caring about what others think. I used to be so stuck on that, like I said, it would just beat me up. For a time in my life I was giving up large parts of my personality. I would hide my likes and dislikes for fear of being mocked and ridiculed. That actually occured during most of my life from elementary school on. Major life changes caused me to rethink my whole personality. And while right now I might be a tad more boisterous then some people remember me as, I'm happy with who I am.
I'll think I'll cut it off there for now.
So, with all that being said, I did the logical thing and requested the release day off of work. I knew that I would be getting it at the midnight release, therefore most likely choosing to stay up late that night, messing around with it and not being awake enough for work the next day.
So, it's the Saturday before the Wii release. I'm at work, and everyone is mocking me because i'm taking a day off for a video game, of the fact that it's a "children's" toy. I was the one that made all the bad Wii puns, so in a way, I was fine with it.
What hit me more then anything as something kind of disrespectful was what one of my co-workers started confronting me about. He kind of looked at me and said something along the lines of,"Ben, you really need to... what's the word...?"
"Grow up?
"No, not exactly... something more like, live in reality."
So, I did what any self-respecting, realistic person did and asked, "What do you mean by that?"
The best explanation he could come up with was that I need to be more mindful of how others view me. My first question back to him was, "Why should I care what others think of me?"
Sadly, he couldn't really answer that. He just kept coming up with the idea that it's important how I present myself to other people. I asked him why again. He just kept reiterating all of that until finally he threw out,"Well, let's say you die. What would your family and friends say about you?"
My reaction was something along the lines of, "Well, if they are really my friends and family, then they will accept me for who I am, and what I have done. It won't matter what their perceptions are because they actually accept me."
"Well, it's not that I don't accept you, I just think you need to be more mature, or mindful of how you are seen."
So I had to respond with, "Like I said, if they are my friends and family, they won't care about any of that. On top of that, I have spent most of my life trying to turn myself into something that I'm not, something to make someone else happy. All that while, I was miserable. Now, being completely accepting of who I am, and of what I like, how I act, and the people I choose to surround myself with, I am the happiest I could be. I won't go back to changing myself for other people, just because it might not be the most socially acceptable thing. I love video games, I love Star Wars, I laugh loudly, and will have fun with whatever I do. It doesn't matter to me what others think."
And that is about where it kind of ended. A couple days later, he attempted to breach the subject again, but I just held my position.
Now, it doesn't really upset me, I'm not mad by the conversation or anything, but it does bother me. What bothers me is that he can't seem to get past the thought of me not caring about what others think. I used to be so stuck on that, like I said, it would just beat me up. For a time in my life I was giving up large parts of my personality. I would hide my likes and dislikes for fear of being mocked and ridiculed. That actually occured during most of my life from elementary school on. Major life changes caused me to rethink my whole personality. And while right now I might be a tad more boisterous then some people remember me as, I'm happy with who I am.
I'll think I'll cut it off there for now.