When it rain 03 (finale)
When it rains 03 (finale).
by Einstein-that one had to live as though everything was a miracle, or as if nothing was a miracle.
Stills that night...
Seohyun watched the rain pour as the raindrops hit her window pane listening to it, hum. Just like always, the rain gives her the feeling as if everything is still and the world pauses even if its just for moments that doesn't last. It's her comfort, after all.
The night has been really long for her. Though the tears had stopped falling, the pain was there, inevitable. No matter how much she brushed the thoughts of him away, they kept coming back like tears.
She heard two knocks on the door before it opened, revealing her sister, Yoona. "I saw you come in. Are you okay?"
Seohyun found her eyes boring into her sister as she came closer, vulnerability evident in her eyes. She nodded without a word. "Do you want to talk about it?" She shook her head and her sister understood.
Yoona sat beside her both turning their attention to the rain. "Everything is going to pass, Seohyun. You just have let time mend your heart itself."
"Unnie..." she whispered turning to her sister as warm tears started streaming down hercheeks, "I have to go. I have to leave him... Will you go with me?"
Seohyun's eyes illuminated pain. And all Yoona could do was nod as she too started to cry wishing she was in her sister's place instead. There were so many times she'd seen Seohyun vulnerable but not this much this time: like she was breaking a million times over and over.
Her sister is right. Time is what she needs most now. Time to heal a broken heart and mend her life again to start a new.
For the longest time, they stayed like that letting the rain wash away the unwanted thoughts and pain. Maybe. Just maybe, if she tries there was a life to be lived.
Hours already passed as Yonghwa sat on the empty bench watching people pass by. He didn't know exactly why he had come after all that happened a week ago. In fact, he had come every single day of the past week sitting there for a few hours and then he would leave for his shop. And during those days, he never had a glimpse of her. Not that he was looking nor waiting for her.
It would be a lie if he'd say he hadn't thought of her or what had occurred that night. The things that she had confessed truthfully. The fact that the memory repeated like a broken record annoyed him and it made him think back of the past. To Shinhye. To the memories of him and her hurting and broken. He didn't like it, but realized it didn't hurt much to think about it once again. And a part of that scared him.
Was he really starting to forget?
It just felt strange to him that in so little time he had known Seo Juhyun, there were so many the unexplained feelings he felt about her. He knew he didn't have the right to hold any kind of bitterness or resentment against her but at the same time he didn't know what to feel about her. After all, there was nothing to forgive. But was it the fact that she had Shinhye's heart?
He drew a long deep breath before standing on his feet making way to his usual routine, a fleeting disappointment circling around his head as he tried pushing it away.
Moments later, he stops abruptly on his tracks as he caught a familiar figure standing a small distance away in front of his coffe shop.
There, Seo Juhyun stood oblivious of Yonghwa's presence from a far, staring at the place.
Yonghwa took a step closer but immediately stopped with hesitation. What would he say to her?
As Yonghwa watched her, he realized the feeling of relief inside him. As if some burden he has been carrying for the past week had been lifted. The relief of seeing her before his eyes. Safe.
Without even realizing it, the corners of his lips tugged into a small smile. But as quick as it came, it disappeared as his eyes followed her turn away wiping her cheeks and walked away to the other direction. Without any hesitation, he followed her, his pace quickening behind her.
Not until now, Yonghwa realized the hard thumping inside him and the crowded street he hadn't noticed before as he slowed down then stopped as he called her name. "Seo Juhyun."
When she heard her name, Seohyun stopped, turning back.
The silence is deafening itself as they both sat in the wooden bench where they had first met. The sky is slowly darkening covered by passing clouds signaling rain, once again.
Seohyun could barely breathe. Her heart is drumming so hard, so fast, she barely notices the wind growing colder and the sky darkening every minute pass with silence. She doesn't know where to begin nor what to feel anymore, regretting the moment she turned around when she knew exactly it was him. What did she want from her?
Stupid. Stupid Seo Juhyun. The words chanted in her head over and over wanting them to disappear.
"You must be surprise I called you out, Seohyun-ssi.." His words momentarily stunned her. There was no trace of bitterness nor anything she ever expected from him.
She opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out. She turned to look at him unknowingly as he continued adding more to her confusion. "I was there for awhile, actually... looking at you. I mean - I didn't mean to do that! It's just..." he stumbles off his words with a pause, he seemed nervous. She understood what he said but at the same time her mind wandered off somewhere else as she watches him.
She wonders to the questions of what ifs... What if she never took someone else's heart? Would she have met him? What if she didn't confess to him? Would he have looked at her differently? What if she decide now to walk away and forget him? Would she ever feel whole again?
In a heartbeat, Yonghwa turned to her. His eyes only on hers, bearing all the answers to her questions. If she had had to go back in time where everything started she would do the same thing even knowing it will tear her apart. And if she decides to walk away from him now, she knows nothing will ever be the same for her. A part of her already belongs to him and she knew she would never get it back.
"I'm sorry..." she mumbles, turning away caught in her vulnerability.
Another moment of silence pass until Yonghwa spoke again. "Her name is Shinhye. She loved rainy days too, the way I did... and for you too. She was my fiance at the time when the doctor announce that she has a cancer. But it was caught on too late for treatment. She said she wanted to save someone before she go. And it just didn't feel right to me at that time... " He paused looking up the sky for a moment.
Seohyun didn't dare to say a word. She stared fixedly at him, lost for words to say. Her ears were filled with the echoes of her heartbeat.
Yonghwa sighed and continued, "I felt selfish for her and I didn't realize it. I'm sorry, Seohyun-ssi... I should have said something the moment you told me but I..." She suddenly cuts him off.
"No. It's not you fault. It's-"
"It's not yours either, Seohyun-ssi... Shinhye chose you to receive her heart. She wanted you to have it. So none of this is anyone's fault. I should have said this first the moment you told me the truth. I'm sorry I made you feel the way you feel now."
She didn't say anything because it would mean that her tears would fall endlessly and she didn't know how she would stop them. The words she never thought she would hear from him - the words she wouldn't even dare ask of him. The kind of forgiveness she thought she never deserved.
To her it felt like magic. Like some sort of spell - every words he uttered vanishing every sight of guilt and pain she carried inside her, only God knows how long, disappeared.
Moments later, drizzles of the rain started to fall upon them.
"It's going to rain, Seohyun-ssi. We should-"
With every bits of strength left in her, she stood up turning to him with a small bow bending her head slightly before saying the words she'd say to him one last time, "Thank you... With every heartbeat beating inside me, I'll remember you. Always." She turned around and started walking away.
The rain fell harder every second pass but she didn't mind. This is the second time she's walking away from him, though the only difference is that this time, she knows in her heart somehow somewhat everything is going pass and that was enough to keep her going. After all, this is what she came for in the first place, to say goodbye.
But as everything came unexpected for her, she felt a grip on her wrist pulling her and turning everything around her as a blur. And the next thing she knows is that she's running with Jung Yonghwa beneath the falling raindrops from the sky just as what she dreamed of before waking up with a new heart inside her.
The rain fell harder as he stood there motionless.
A cold feeling settled into Yonghwa's chest as he watched her take a step further away from him. As a desperate knot constricted his heart, barely trying to erase the pain.
She's leaving. He would never see her again. The thought of it itself is a torture.
Then he remembered what Shinhye had said to him, find someone who will make you smile and love enough... someone who will complete you. He found himself remembering Seohyun's eyes when he first met her.
The past had always surrounded him like the bars of a prison cell, and he’d never understood that he’d had the power to walk out at any time. All he'd had to do was take a leap from all the memories, suffering and pain it had brought him.
On impulse, Yonghwa went after her grabbing her wrist the moment he reached her pulling her with him running beneath the falling rain. He knew his sudden gesture stunned her but didn't say anything as he continued to pull her with steps quickening along the phase of the falling rain.
Yonghwa felt like he could go on forever. Whatever the future holds for them didn't matter anymore, only what he has now and it was her. He held her hand tightly unwilling to let go just yet. He wasn't the type of person who believed in miracles nor did he fully understood what the word meant, but now, as he stood beside her watching the rain fall down from the sky quietly with his hand wrapped around hers, he realized that -that one had to live as though everything was a miracle, or as if nothing was a miracle.
He turned to her, his eyes soft, "Thank you... for not giving up on me."
"Yonghwa-ssi..." She looked at him confused but he turned to the rain hiding a small smile.
"That night... and for the past two years. Thank you for being there and for saving my life." He said softly turning to her with a sincere smile.
Can I help you, Miss?
My name is Im Yoona. It's nice to finally meet you Jung Yonghwa-ssi.
I don't understand... How did you-
I'm Seohyun's sister. Seo Juhyun.
But you don't have the same last name as hers.
We grew up together in an orphanage. She's my only family... I assume she already told you everything about the past. I know I don't have the right to interfere between you two but... I just want you to know she had always carried the burden of knowing she hurt you in some way.
It wasn't her fault... I mean-
I know. We both know that but... its always been different for her when it comes to you. For the past two years she'd watch over you... Nothing were ever the same.... She loved you, I realized. And that's what is hurting her the most... knowing that she can't.
He looked away once again, remembering.
"I didn't mean to..." she started and stopped when he turned to her radiating a smile on his lips.
He shook his head lightly, finding her eyes boring in to his... Lovely. "I guess this means I owe you my forever, Seohyun-ssi, as my savior. And besides..." Seohyun's cheeks turned brightly pink as he bent his head closer to her.
He continued only inches closer to her face until his lips briefly touches her forehead. "I think I'm in love with the rain all over again." I think I'm in love with you.
"I love the rain too..." I love you.
The End.