its the day of the show ya'll
it was preview for You Cant Take it With You and everything went fabulously.
i guess im just confused about what a friend is. its not a one way street. its giving and taking. but what happens if your giving too much of you and not recieving enough in return? when does a friendship turn into a burden? when did the line get crossed. and why and I the one getting screwed in the end? after all that ive gone through. not that you havnt gone through the same shit. but why do i wake up feeling guilty about my life? why am i terrified to see you everyday cause i dont know how you are going to take me. are you gunna be a ticking bomb? or are you gunna be the person that i really know? well the person that i know sometimes. when you feel like it. its just that as small as today was i was proud. i had a fun time up there and the person that i cared about the most seeing me up there didnt even say anything. and when it was said it was like pulling teeth. i think i remember complimenting after everytime you were up there. and before every act for 2 weeks for like 24 shows. maybe i just compliment too much. maybe your not supposed to compliment your best friend. maybe its just understood. its just like i feel you are such a performer and i dont mean onstage. if that makes sense. its so wierd right now. i know i shouldnt be doing this but i have to cause if i dont ill probably just explode and i cant cry anymore. i know i say that so much "i cant cry anymore". but its true. its been too much. maybe i should just not give a shit. but the thing is thats something you would do. i care too much to not give a shit. i care enough to tell you about my personal life. and i care enough to trust you when a normal person wouldnt give you the time of day.:,(
okay so now that im upset i should get to bed
this was not a pity party it was a venting session. take it at face value
i hope i fall asleep tonight. ive been having a real hard time falling asleep latley.
oh well... im just gunna listen to some anna nalick and watch some desprate housewives.
i guess im just confused about what a friend is. its not a one way street. its giving and taking. but what happens if your giving too much of you and not recieving enough in return? when does a friendship turn into a burden? when did the line get crossed. and why and I the one getting screwed in the end? after all that ive gone through. not that you havnt gone through the same shit. but why do i wake up feeling guilty about my life? why am i terrified to see you everyday cause i dont know how you are going to take me. are you gunna be a ticking bomb? or are you gunna be the person that i really know? well the person that i know sometimes. when you feel like it. its just that as small as today was i was proud. i had a fun time up there and the person that i cared about the most seeing me up there didnt even say anything. and when it was said it was like pulling teeth. i think i remember complimenting after everytime you were up there. and before every act for 2 weeks for like 24 shows. maybe i just compliment too much. maybe your not supposed to compliment your best friend. maybe its just understood. its just like i feel you are such a performer and i dont mean onstage. if that makes sense. its so wierd right now. i know i shouldnt be doing this but i have to cause if i dont ill probably just explode and i cant cry anymore. i know i say that so much "i cant cry anymore". but its true. its been too much. maybe i should just not give a shit. but the thing is thats something you would do. i care too much to not give a shit. i care enough to tell you about my personal life. and i care enough to trust you when a normal person wouldnt give you the time of day.:,(
okay so now that im upset i should get to bed
this was not a pity party it was a venting session. take it at face value
i hope i fall asleep tonight. ive been having a real hard time falling asleep latley.
oh well... im just gunna listen to some anna nalick and watch some desprate housewives.