(no subject)
wow so much to say but dont know how to say it...were to start?? well i can say that life is the same shit.. ok to day i got in trouble kinda for being on so late last night right....well then i was sitting in nonies room...and she goes...."do u think that i should get on the comp., since the hole thing that happend last night???"and i go,"i think its gay(she gets off the bed) i think that the (she walks out of the room)and sayes "kendra w/e i dont care" so yeah stuff like that....makes me feel that she dont and i know that sometimes ya just got let stuff like that slide but its hard seeing that i love her so muh and i think she hates me.....well she does it all the time and it really bothers me u know what its days like theses i want to give up but iam to scard to look at what ill be missing
(:::as i look at my baby cuz runny around in the house and see him smile:::) how can i just let him down like that u know?? its like i want to is to get out of this houes and school get my own place get a ok or god job, and find a good guy and show him off to my family to prove to them iam not what they think ill be...and maybe even have a few kids idk..i dont think its going to happend so i should just stop thinking it going to happen b/c (99.9% it wont happen)i looke at my sister and i dont want to be like that her house is trash shes a bitch....all she cares about is her and her b/f's and sex..she disrespects me all the time but thats me being dumb idk i think i over c things...and then my guys sux i am really starting to belive that i will never find the right one...and i dont even know what i want to be and were my life is going and sumtimes i dont belive that iam going to make it another day and i kinda wih it was that way i mean when i think about it when it all comes down too it what was the point of all the shit?? NOTHING!!! i mean i want to be sumthing great but i know its going to happen...what happend to my happyness?? really i had so much of it and now it gone like one day i woke up and thouhgt thats all bullshit i mean i tell my slef not to really like sum1 but i end up doing it anywazz and it hurts really bad..but it really pisses me off to c amanda get guys and i cant even get fucking 1 and she had 4. wtf is up w/ that?? u know what?? i dont care any more maye if i keep telling my self that then ill belive it?!?!?! idk i keep saying the same thing over and over so ill let u go later love ya alots,me
(:::as i look at my baby cuz runny around in the house and see him smile:::) how can i just let him down like that u know?? its like i want to is to get out of this houes and school get my own place get a ok or god job, and find a good guy and show him off to my family to prove to them iam not what they think ill be...and maybe even have a few kids idk..i dont think its going to happend so i should just stop thinking it going to happen b/c (99.9% it wont happen)i looke at my sister and i dont want to be like that her house is trash shes a bitch....all she cares about is her and her b/f's and sex..she disrespects me all the time but thats me being dumb idk i think i over c things...and then my guys sux i am really starting to belive that i will never find the right one...and i dont even know what i want to be and were my life is going and sumtimes i dont belive that iam going to make it another day and i kinda wih it was that way i mean when i think about it when it all comes down too it what was the point of all the shit?? NOTHING!!! i mean i want to be sumthing great but i know its going to happen...what happend to my happyness?? really i had so much of it and now it gone like one day i woke up and thouhgt thats all bullshit i mean i tell my slef not to really like sum1 but i end up doing it anywazz and it hurts really bad..but it really pisses me off to c amanda get guys and i cant even get fucking 1 and she had 4. wtf is up w/ that?? u know what?? i dont care any more maye if i keep telling my self that then ill belive it?!?!?! idk i keep saying the same thing over and over so ill let u go later love ya alots,me