professional woes.
maybe it's the PMS talkin, but....
this week: screaming into pillow, driving fast and furious frustration. i have been working at this job for almost 6 weeks now, and it has not been going too well. i couldn't even go in today because i could barely stand the thought of sitting, doing almost nothing all day and pretending i am happy to be there. i feel so useless there - you'd think they would want to have me actually work for them, since i was hired. but the training i feel has not been really progressing - i feel like my boss is not helping me much at all, is not organized, DOES want to see me succeed but doesn't seem to be making a lot of effort to help. i feel like i ask for work all the time, and don't get much more than on average an hour's worth a day. maybe it is the nature of this job that work comes in waves...but to me this just seems kind of ridiculous now. in my last job i worked constantly, i felt like i was really contributing, my boss was most diligent and intense and great and maybe i was spoiled by our good relationship and my situation there...
sigh. i realize i just started this job, and it will take a while to build relationships and to become ingratiated into the scene - i get really impatient though, and i always feel this drive to be productive. so how do i relax, calm down and go with the flow when it's not in my nature?? :(
this week: screaming into pillow, driving fast and furious frustration. i have been working at this job for almost 6 weeks now, and it has not been going too well. i couldn't even go in today because i could barely stand the thought of sitting, doing almost nothing all day and pretending i am happy to be there. i feel so useless there - you'd think they would want to have me actually work for them, since i was hired. but the training i feel has not been really progressing - i feel like my boss is not helping me much at all, is not organized, DOES want to see me succeed but doesn't seem to be making a lot of effort to help. i feel like i ask for work all the time, and don't get much more than on average an hour's worth a day. maybe it is the nature of this job that work comes in waves...but to me this just seems kind of ridiculous now. in my last job i worked constantly, i felt like i was really contributing, my boss was most diligent and intense and great and maybe i was spoiled by our good relationship and my situation there...
sigh. i realize i just started this job, and it will take a while to build relationships and to become ingratiated into the scene - i get really impatient though, and i always feel this drive to be productive. so how do i relax, calm down and go with the flow when it's not in my nature?? :(