god i'll be okay one day right?
i'm sitting here... and i'm about to cry. i don't know how to respond how to act how to do anything anymore. God all i ever do is pray to you, cry, sing, or sleep. i mean i just can't handle this anymore. i mean how do i live for you? i feel as if i fell of your hands and went back to satanism. i know i haven't bc i don't worship satan. i have done some pretty bad things lately. and i need to pray that you can forgive me. i feel as if i can't do anything anymore. i wake up, i'm weaker than anything. i try praying to you to help me let go of some dirt and grudge that i'm holding onto but it won't leave. i look at this dirt and grudge and i pray to you let me let it go. but it won't let go. i still hurt. i still weeep i still everything. i'm not sure as of what you need me to do lord. i'm not sure as of what i'm suppose to do. i just want to be your perfect child again. but when will that be? when i'm ready? i am ready lord why aren't you taking me in and letting me be her? i just can't stop thinking how i messed up. i'm trying to forgive myself lord. but for some reason i don't think i can forgive my ownself. Lord i need your help with everything i do but for some reason its not helping me let go of a lot of things. i have done... i'm sorry help me god
Leah
Leah