Fic for shontos_garden (2/2)
Part 1
My Paper Heart - All American Rejects
Kazuya gets called to the white asylum-styled office Mary owns just when he's finished with Practical Defense with Domoto Koichi-sensei. Mary's already seated behind her intimidating table.
"You called for me?" he fidgets under Mary's stare, wonders what he did wrong. Again. Mary still hasn't kicked him out, even if he's as useless as they come, and Kazuya has zero control of his fighter even when they've been a pair for years. Honestly he thinks the only reason Mary's still keeping him is Johnny, who believes him and Jin are supposed to be together, and that Mary should not be messing with the natural laws.
"Oh, yes, please be seated," Mary gestures to the empty seat in front of the table. Kazuya obliges, waits for the pin to drop.
"As you may know, graduating students have an option to stay with Seven Moons and lend their services in educating the younger students." Kazuya's aware of that; Tackey-sensei had done quite a job of taking over for Domoto Tsuyoshi when Peerless were sent out for rogue missions after all. Tackey-sensei had also coerced him into taking up a job in the academy, should there ever be an offer from the higher ups.
"That being said," Mary continues, adjusting her eyeglasses, "Takizawa Hideaki and Domoto Koichi from our faculty both have recommended you as a potential instructor, giving you high praises, if I may say so. You know how the usual offer goes, I presume?" Basic salary plus incentives for clothes, lodging, standard car for emergency missions, and on-hand training with the students.
Just when he'd thought he could get out of responsibilities like these. "Hai."
"Then is it possible for us to receive your response before your formal graduation rites are held?" That's in four days, and-
"What about Jin," Kazuya doesn't know what compels him to ask, but the look on Mary's face when he says the name does not bode well.
Mary closes her eyes briefly. "Akanishi Jin has filed for an immediate transfer to Los Angeles as soon as he finishes his stay in the academy. He has requested us not to disclose any information to other parties," then with a pause, "including you, unfortunately."
And what about us, he suddenly wants to shout, the weight of the unexpected news too heavy for him to absorb immediately. What happens to me when he leaves?
It seems like Mary sees his discomfit, anyway. "If you remember, we informed you during your first day here that you and Akanishi are, for a lack of a better term, a Zero. There is no natural bond between the two of you, as we have established. Once he goes to America, the management there will be in charge of finding a suitable sacrifice for him, while we do our best to look for a fighter whom you can properly command."
No natural bond, the words echo in Kazuya's ears, a lump forming in his throat. He casts his eyes down, not wanting to show Mary of all people his weakness; she already think he's not worth much, and this could be a fatal blow to him. But still-
"If that is all?" Mary inquires, looking at him, arms crossed over her chest. Kazuya nods, and Mary politely reminds him to give his reply about the teaching post in four days and that he can leave now.
Baby Just Say Goodnight - The Click Five
Kazuya sneaks inside the room when he's sure the occupants have gone out for dinner. He's not quite twenty yet-gangly limbs and copper blonde hair reaching his shoulders, face almost permanently in a scowl these days-but if there's one thing he knows, it's where Selfless' fighter stocks his cigarettes. He's almost finished ten sticks when Jin comes across the hall and sees him lounging about.
"What," Kazuya flatly says when it looks like Jin's more interested with the floor than with him, "you're too good to even stop me from killing myself now?" He's angry at Jin, and maybe at himself a little, though he doesn't know why. He had always thought it was normal, spending the rest of his life with Jin, as crazy as it sounded. They were a pair, a dysfunctional one at that but a pair nonetheless, and Jin never showed hints about wanting to go separate ways.
Jin shrugs his shoulders. "Toma doesn't like people rummaging through his stuff." He leans beside Kazuya on the wall, long legs elegantly crossed at the ankles.
"And you're not someone who meddles in my life on a daily basis," Kazuya snorts, taking a hit of the cigarette instead. He doesn't want to close his eyes, doesn't want to think about not seeing Jin in his white shirts and washed jeans. "Also, Toma likes me more than he likes you."
Jin decides he won't start a fight, not this time. "Suit yourself."
"Why are you leaving," Kazuya finally decides to ask, the taste of tobacco and betrayal heavy on his tongue. "Is this really what you want," he continues, but it's not even a question.
Jin smiles a sad smile at him. "You should know how to read me by now, Kazu," he muses, stretching a bit and getting ready to go to their room. "Six years is a long time to be with someone, after all."
And that hurts, Kazuya realizes. That they have spent literally every day of the last six years together and now they're going to be separated, and Jin doesn't even want him to know a thing. It's like a long spool of thread has been intricately wound inside his muscles, the end of it only sticking out a little, and now that all the skin and tissues have regrown Jin's pulling on the loose end and prying out the string slowly.
"I'm pretty tired, Kazu," Jin says, hand already at the doorknob. "We never even talked honestly, right? This is more for you than for me, I guess."
It's all true, which is why neither of them can't do anything about it, in reality. An inevitable separation of sorts, which feels worse that a forfeit. Kazuya's pretty sure he doesn't say it out loud, but Jin hears him think don't go over and over in his head even long after Jin has gone inside the room.
絆 - 亀梨和也
Green and yellow ignite into fiery orange and red fade into brown crumbles to white, and everything is washed away, everything returns to where it's begun. Four seasons have passed twice, all of them bringing loneliness; it has been two years, and Kazuya still hears voice in his head, still feels the phantom touch of fingers punching into his, a shadow blocking his sight and his thoughts being echoed in words.
Right ear twitching, Kazuya looks up from where he's staring at the snow and sees some of the students outside. He hears the children every day, talking behind his back, the rumours flying around about him, about why he's not an adult yet, but Kazuya doesn't care. He'll wait, he can do that, stay here and be still until Jin decides they're ready to talk. Kazuya will explain and everything will be right, all will fall into place and-
"Kazuya," that's Tatsuya, and the room is suddenly cold.
Oh. Tatsuya, right, open door, snowing outside. "Hey," he looks away from the window, "Spell Class done?" Kazuya motions to the general vicinity of Tatsuya's desk. Their room is plain, a bit messy for three people, but having a room with three beds is already an oddity in the academy. Kazuya's surrounded by strange things, it seems, but he's had months and months to get used to it, hostility and denial and he's had enough of pushing people who matter away. It hurts, and he doesn't want to open a room that's so empty and only one bed being occupied when there's clearly space for two, memories for two, so much time wasted and now he's here-
"-out on me," Tatsuya looks at him while taking one of his many scarves off, laying them on his bed. "You know this is why I hate talking to you when you don't have class, right?"
Kazuya smiles a bit, smoothing his bed covers and looking down, "sorry, you were saying?"
The door shuts by itself softly. Wind, cold, snow. "No class," Tatsuya is stripping down to his non-prescribed clothes, the ones they're allowed to wear off-duty. Today is a white low-cut shirt and some dark denim shorts that go right below his knees. For someone who has so little body fat, Kazuya wonders why Tatsuya's fashion choices seem to be all wrong, especially for winter.
"Why?" just as the lights flicker on and off for a bit, and Kazuya looks at Tatsuya, confused.
Tatsuya points at the room's ceiling, "that," he sighs, settling down on his bed, hands behind his head. "Power outages, the kids from the senior class were playing pranks again. Mary is angry. "
Of course, Kazuya thinks. Nobody escapes the razor sharp tip of her tongue, not even the older pairs. "And Johnny?"
Tatsuya closes his eyes, "you know him, boys will be boys, what he always says." He stretches out on the mattress, facing Kazuya, and breathes, "hey, Nameless."
"Stop saying that," Kazuya answers back, but there's no heat in his voice; it's an old joke between them. A pause, then, "what?"
Sheets rustle for a bit, then Tatsuya is tugging on something, eyes open and understanding. "You can feel it, right?"
A slight pull, barely there, but Kazuya inhales slowly, hums his agreement.
"Then don't be such a stranger anymore," Tatsuya stops tugging, and it makes Kazuya want to cry in relief, in frustration, a weird but familiar mix of need and want.
Instead he settles for turning with his back to Tatsuya, looking outside.
They don't talk about anything after that. Tatsuya falls asleep in the mid-morning, and Kazuya is left to stare at the students, remembering destiny and names.
千年の Love Song - Kis-My-Ft2
Tatsuya raises an eyebrow at him. "But you're not-" he pauses, bends down to pick up and hold out something Kazuya cannot see. "This," he gestures, as if handing a stranger air is normal.
"What," Kazuya is looking at Tatsuya's hand, then Tatsuya's face, confusion marring his features. "Um."
"Your thread," Tatsuya shakes his outstretched hand a little, moving it closer to Kazuya. "Red thread," he repeats like he's talking to a moron when Kazuya looks like he won't take a hint, "every pair who's not a Zero has their red thread of fate connected to each other."
"Um," Kazuya mumbles lamely, his cat ears twitching. He can't see anything. "Mary-san and Julie-san called me earlier-"
"Yeah," Tatsuya waves the hand supposedly holding Kazuya's thread of fate in a non-committal gesture, making a face. "Don't believe those hags, they're kinda nuts," he says conspiratorially. His eyes are gleaming in a way Kazuya finds a little scary.
"Well," Kazuya hesitates a bit, looks at his pants, tattered at the knees, at his worn out, faded red Converse high-cuts, at anything but Tatsuya. Zeroes are without a name, no identity, it echoes at the back of his mind.
He doesn't know who to trust; it's his first day at Seven Moons and everything is still buzzing in his head. Mostly Kazuya just wants to know why his eldest brother had that look on his face when the family car had whisked Kazuya away at five o'clock this morning.
"You're a sacrifice, right," Kazuya starts when he hears Tatsuya say more than ask, not even waiting for an answer. "The other end of your thread is out there," he kicks at some gravel on the floor, "which means they haven't found your fighter. Yet."
"Nameless-" Kazuya tries, stops. That was how he understood what the adults were talking about, only Tatsuya is smiling at him a little weirdly.
Well, weirdly constituted a lot, just for today. Not fifteen minutes ago he had been in a soundproof room with people in white talking about pairs and names and battles, Kazuya's parents listening attentively, not minding that he had no idea what was happening. The tiny, old, funny-looking man had led him outside the room and introduced him to Tatsuya, telling them to shoo and explore the grounds. Tatsuya had grabbed his wrist and made a run for it.
And now, someone is approaching. It's that boy from earlier, the one Kazuya and his parents met by the gate. "You-" Kazuya starts, but then he doesn't know what to say when the boy goes next to Tatsuya and touches his arm shyly. It seems like he's cutting himself off a lot.
"Hi," the boy-from-the-gate says, "I'm Pristine," he offers a handshake, but the hand is swatted away.
"You aren't Pristine, stupid," Tatsuya sounds strict, ignoring Kazuya for a moment to turn the boy, "we are. Sorry Kazuya," he continues, smile in place, eyes on Kazuya again, "his name's Yuichi, he's my sacrifice."
It takes a few seconds for that to process. Kazuya blinks, gulps, then whispers, "sacrifice?"
"He doesn't know?" Yuichi says, like Kazuya isn't right there and all he sees is Tatsuya, and that's a bit disconcerting, Kazuya was sure they just met.
"Kazuya only got here, today," Tatsuya answers with the patience of someone who is talking to a five year old.
Yuichi scrunches his nose, "me too!"
"Well we're different," and that's that, Tatsuya's looking like one more sassy reply and he'll walk out, so Yuichi keeps quiet.
"Different?" Kazuya manages to make a sound, looking at the pair.
"You're," pulling back the sleeves of his shirt, Tatsuya shows the word, inked in black and running through his inner arm, "you don't have this. Or that's what you said," he pulls Yuichi's arm and shows it to Kazuya, the same name marking him. "I don't believe you though."
Yuichi interrupts. "He's a Zero?"
Zero. That word again. But before he can think about it, Kazuya hears his father's voice, and he turns around to find his parents waiting. He runs to them.
On Your Mind~Please Come Back to Me - KAT-TUN
Kazuya continues to see Nagano-sensei, determined to find out what milestone in his life he had missed or forgotten. They don't find anything initially, but Kazuya's more receptive to treatment now, doesn't brush off questions that he had deemed too prying all those years ago. Bit by it, there's enlightenment, and it sparks hope in Kazuya.
The phone call comes almost too late, in Johnny's opinion.
"Gramps," Kazuya utters after calming down his sobs. "Are you there?" he asks.
Right now, Kazuya's got a major headache, but at least everything is clear now. He can explain to Koji and tell him he's sorry, he didn't mean what happened that day; he can be accepted by his brothers again. He's not going to be a freak anymore.
And Jin, he can finally face Jin again.
"What is it, Nameless?" It's 3am, sometimes Johnny wonders if these kids ever sleep.
"I'm not," Kazuya replies immediately, then more calmly, "I'm not-you said I wasn't a Zero. I have a name."
"Your name, huh," Johnny sighs; maybe he really is too old for this. "Did your seniors ever tell you what's the most important rule?"
Kazuya sniffles. "It's real, even when it's just in your head. Some people say it's only real when you speak the words out loud, but in truth, thoughts are already real once it's in your mind." How he never understood that before will always be a mystery to Kazuya now.
"And?" Johnny presses on; he mostly really just wants to sleep.
Mary and Julie had always said that sacrifices were mostly dispensible in Zero pairs, and Kazuya almost never asks for anything, hesitation and the thought of having no choice anyway consuming him first, but this time he has no qualm with what he answers Johnny with.
"My name is Bound, and I want my fighter back."
No More Pain - KAT-TUN
"Hello?"
Silence on the other line.
"Hello?" More silence. "Who's this?"
"Nii-chan," Kazuya sniffs. "It's me."
A pause.
"Koji-nii, don't hang up."
Koji doesn't talk. He stops the car by the side of the road, doesn't want to cause accidents for people.
"Nii-chan." Kazuya sounds like he's been crying.
"What do you want," Koji says, voice clipped.
"I'm sorry, nii-chan," Kazuya answers. "About your friend. I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"You remember?" Koji cuts him off, surprised.
"I," Kazuya slumps to the floor, on his knees. "Yes. I'm really sorry," he whispers the last word so Koji won't hear his pathetic sobbing over the phone.
"That's-" a development Koji would've never imagined. He swallows, leaning his arms over the steering wheel. "Are you coming home?"
"I'm-what?"
"Visit soon," Koji insists, breathing slowly. "The next family holiday. Everyone will be there, so come, okay Kazu?"
Koji has never called him that name, has never called him anything at all, not once since the night Kazuya woke up from the game in the park. The accident, and Koji's friend. "Are you sure?" Kazuya hiccups.
"Stop crying, you baby," Koji chides, but there's a hint of some tears in his eyes as well. "You should come home. We should all come home, okay?"
"Nii-chan, I'm sorry," he doesn't even bother to hide his sobs. "I'm really sorry about everything."
Koji sighs. "I guess I just wanted you to remember, Kazu," he finally admits. "I don't think I was truly ever angry. It was unfair that you forgot while the family didn't, so yeah. But now you remember, so."
Kazuya blinks. "You're not angry anymore?"
"Truth? I don't know." Koji looks at his watch. He has to meet his wife in an hour; they've got a doctor's appointment today. "Look, we'll deal with that later. Now you go and call mom, tell her that you remember." He revvs up the engine. "Kazu, we'll talk prperly okay? When you're home."
"But-"
"Later," Koji says, and that's final. "Take care of yourself. And I'm glad you remember now. I'll see you, Kazu."
Stolen - Dashboard Confessional
Amidst the throng of people, Jin hears Kazuya before he sees him. It's just after winter, the first hints of spring touching leaves and sunrays kissing flower petals, but Kazuya looks like he's nursing a deadly cold, scarf wrapped all around his neck and covering half his face. There's a cigarette loosely held on fingers, eyes shielded by ugly, large eyeglasses.
Soon it'll be time for cherry blossoms viewing, Jin thinks. Right now all he wants is to throttle Kazuya to the ground and kiss him senseless, not that he'd ever done that before.
Still, he's never been too resistant of that niggling voice in his head. Kazuya doesn't even need to command; Jin always automatically gravitates towards him.
"I missed you," Jin breathes in smoke and almonds and mint, arms wound tight around Kazuya's shoulders once he's secure his bags aren't lost in some continent eight hours away. "I missed you so much," he repeats, softer, like a secret.
"Hey," Kazuya softly replies, voice choked and eyes closed, tears almost falling. "Hey," he repeats, this time louder to his ears, grip on Jin's coat tight, face hidden between Jin's neck and shoulder.
Kazuya hates talking, and Jin knows that much, won't push and pressure him into saying embarrassing things. "I'm back," Jin says instead, pulling back to look at Kazuya more properly. "Kazu, your ears," Jin notices, and Kazuya's cat ears twitch while his cheeks flush.
"Well I'm not the only one," Kazuya mumbles, pointedly looking at Jin's excited tail instead, black and a sharp contrast against his beige jeans and gray and white shirt.
Jin smiles at him, indulging. "I think you know why I still have mine," he rubs his thumbs under Kazuya's eyebags; they'll never completely go away, Jin knows. "So humor me."
Kazuya grunts. "Yuichi says they won't fall off if you're only doing it by yourself. Apparently it only works if I have someone else with me," he finally gets out, and the embarrassment gets replaced with a small burst of happiness when he hears Jin's hearty laugh.
Kazuya takes him to his apartment; he's stopped living inside the campus, and he didn't have the heart to intrude on Tatsuya's home, even when the other had offered. He's got a car now, and even if he's just been teaching at the academy for two and a half years, Johnny makes sure his efforts are well-paid for.
The drive is silent, and Kazuya tries not to think of strange things because well-nothing beats having someone hear your thoughts for more than twenty minutes at a time, he's sure. He's only being considerate, and Jin's had a long flight.
It's long after they've arrived at Kazuya's flat (white, marbled floor and a color palette selection that would do any grandfather proud), much time wasted under the pretense of setting down luggage, the grand tour, small talk, dinner, and more delaying tactics that Jin corners Kazuya by the bathroom, hands swift on clothes and body blocking the door.
"I missed you," Jin smiles, nosing the back of Kazuya's neck, and that's another shirt button undone, "I think it's about time you told me something interesting."
Kazuya gulps. Jin, he tries instead, because saying something out loud definitely won't work; he's tried countless times.
"Don't talk," Jin slides the shirt over Kazuya's shoulders, kisses the smooth plane of his back, marks his skin with words. Never curses nor restraints, but of love. "Just-you don't need to talk. But tell me everything, okay?"
Jin's tail playfully wraps around Kazuya's thigh, and when he presses himself a bit forward, Kazuya can feel something hard against his hip. It sends a slow, thick trickle of pleasure down Kazuya's spine, and he can't help but catch Jin's hands, pressing open-mouthed kisses to each palm.
Jin hums when Kazuya turns around, brown cat-ears twitching in anticipation and hands divesting Jin of his shirt. When Kazuya's calloused fingers touch Jin's name- a clean script written in bold black over his collarbones- Jin bites back his surprise. Kazuya presses his lips over the name, mind reeling and his groing stirring. So long, so so long and too much confusion and shouting, the cold silence of their separation and Kazuya too worried about red threads that maybe weren't real.
But Jin's here, solid and strong and radiating very enticing heat, and Jin saved him all those years ago, it was Jin who watched him from the shadows and fought to save him during that time, when they had no idea how things had worked- the kids that they were, and Jin's name is the same that's carved onto him, and right now Jin's hand is brushing affectionately over Kazuya's name.
Our name, Kazuya gulps, speaking the name in his head, and Jin echoes the same, only a bit loud, chocolate eyes filled with love. "Tell me everything," Jin whispers, thumb caressing Kazuya's cheek. Jin saved him, and Kazuya couldn't remember, had only thought about himself and his brothers; he hadn't wanted to be a sacrifice at all, had hurt them both so bad Jin had gone far away, and Kazuya thought everything would be okay with Jin leaving, but then the hurt became emptiness and Kazuya had not only once thought it was better to die.
But Jin's here, now, finally, and Kazuya's never letting him go again.
"I know," Jin smiles, tucks loose wisps of hair behind Kazuya's ears, "you're never letting go, right?"
Kazuya does what he's denied himself these past years; he surges up to kiss Jin.
Act on Emotion - KAT-TUN
Everything happens completely by accident. It is a Saturday afternoon and the boys, being boys, are in the empty lot beside the chapel, fooling around. The weird kid with a bad hair job and annoying yellow parka who's always lurking around isn't present today, or at least he isn't spying on them. Kazuya thinks he's one of those kids the local nuns have adopted; either way, he doesn't really care.
"Switch!" a panting Kasuga shouts. He is the oldest among them, save for Yuichiro, who isn't really with them to play. High school entrance exams are in a few weeks, and damn if he will set a bad example for his brothers.
Koji and Aoki trade places, while Yonemura goes to the pitcher's mound. They are playing a modified version of baseball today, and Kazuya is benched because otherwise they'll be an odd number; Yuichiro's nose is in his literature book. The older boys' egos also agree on Kazuya being the youngest and therefore least skilled.
Kazuya lets go of the tawny kitten he's playing with and sits up. "Koji-nii," he whines, kicking at dirt, "you said it'd be my turn twenty minutes ago!"
Turning a little, Koji makes a face. "Shut up, runt," he sticks his tongue out, and Kazuya huffs.
"Yu-nii!" Kazuya turns to his eldest brother, who barely acknowledges him, waving a hand and turning his book to the next page. The banter of the others fades into the background; they're a rowdy bunch, even for middle-school kids.
Suddenly, Kazuya's chest hurts. Not the heart attack kind, but a different sensation, an extremely sharp knife slicing at the letters carved in his skin. It feels uncomfortable, and Kazuya stands up, only to stumble in a disgraced heap and dry heave.
"Kazu?" That gets Yuichiro's attention. "You alright?"
Koji waves both hands up, and the boys halt. "What now," he puts down his glove, worriedly jogging over to his brothers, about to launch a tirade when Kazuya heaves again.
Stay, the voice in Kazuya's head says. Trust, the connection of two souls will overcome. Kazuya blinks away the tears. He definitely didn't imagine that voice.
It's painful. It's very, very painful.
"Where?" Koji's anxious face zooms into view. "Where does it hurt?" Kazuya must've said that one out loud.
"I-" Kazuya starts, trying not to clutch at his chest, when he hears the voice. Still. Unite with the heart and mind. Bind. Fix.
"Hey," someone from their group says from far away, only Kazuya can't recognize the voice because of the one he hears in his head, the one he's sure the others don't hear. "What's happening there," a different person this time.
There's a hand on his shoulder. "Kazu, hey, stop that," Yuichiro soothes, voice a little wobbly even as he's trying not to panic. Kazuya doesn't even realize he was shaking his head so hard.
Just as Kazuya's about to answer, a strong gust of wind blows. "I smell someone of our own kind," a booming voice sounds, and Kazuya looks up, frantic.
"You're right," another voice says, and suddenly there are three boys, the same built as Kazuya's brothers, walking towards their group. "Let's have some fun."
Fight or flight, the voice says to Kazuya, which do you choose?
"We challenge you to a battle," the tall, lanky one with sandy blonde hair says. "Zero versus Zero, there can only be one."
"Battle systems engage," the other one says, and two pairs of fists are punched against a pair of hands.
Accept.
How he knows what to say, Kazuya has no idea. He closes his eyes, thinks it in his mind, and someone speaks the words for him. Everything turns black; there are fire flowers and frightening bolts of electricity, shackles and chains piling up, flames and winds sharp enough to cut, then emptiness.
When Kazuya comes to, the lot looks like a tornado swept through it, and everybody else is thoroughly shaken, the boys all looking at him with wide, terrified eyes.
He realizes he's the only one standing up; the others either crouched or hiding behind the tires and trees.
The moment he sees Kasuga lying supine on the dirt, eyes open and lifeless, Kazuya screams until he passes out.
"Tadaima," Jin says when they step into the academy's premises, soft afternoon breeze and the warm glow of sunshine upon them.
They've had three days to fill each other in about their lives spent apart; about Kazuya room-hopping, trying and failing to be productive, going to Nagano-sensei. About dreaming, not remembering, more dreams, finally finding out what happened and wanting to explain to Jin. In turn, Jin tells him about America and London, about green-haired people with blue and purple eyes, about adults and temptation and differences in culture, about how good it is to finally be home, even if the girls in his American neighborhood were all single and had the hots for him. Kazuya doesn't understand how or why this is all relevant, until Jin says the only thing that kept him from losing his ears and tail was Kazuya's voice always talking him into coming home. Kazuya flushes molten.
"I'm home," Jin repeats, taking a lungful of air. They have to meet with Johnny now-there will be talks about official duties and what plans Jin has now that he's home.
Kazuya's heart soars when Jin holds his hand. Bound, the name resonates in his head, fills his whole body with a sense of completion, from his chest to his arms and legs to the tips of his fingers and toes. United, two ties that are joined by fate.
"Welcome home, Jin."
First Love - 宇多田 ヒカル
"Run!" Koji shouts, dragging Kazuya with him. The others tag along, clearly enjoying the evening rush.
Today's one of those rare days where Yuichiro and Koji actually spend time hanging out with Kazuya. Of course Kazuya has to mingle with his older brothers' friends and everyone's at least in middle school by now, but he doesn't mind at all. They've just finished with the batting cages, and it's an hour and a half past dinner time. Kazuya's curfew was three hours ago, and they're all dead meat.
They arrive at an intersection, and of course they have to stop unless it's safe to cross. Everyone's huffing, lungs thoroughly worked out from the non-stop exercise since this afternoon.
"Hey!" Koji swings blindly when Kazuya lets go of his hand. "What?" he growls, more annoyed than worried.
Kazuya, however, looks like someone electrocuted him. "I-" he can't finish, a niggling voice in his head suddenly whining about static, a phantom touch on his other arm, the one his older brother wasn't trying to dislocate earlier.
Yuichiro catches up, sees his brothers. "Are you okay?"
"It's Kazu," Koji starts, but the light goes green and then they have to run again or their mother will lock the door and there will be no dinner tonight and no escapades for three months. Grounded, no excuses.
Wait, Kazuya wants to say, but then someone grabs his wrist and they're sprinting again, and things are a blur because they're very, very late. He doesn't see the flash of bright red mixed with black nor the Pikachu-style hoodie that was behind him just a few moments ago. This time it's Yuichiro who's with Kazuya.
Their feet are sore from all the playing and running today, but the only thing Kazuya can think about, can feel is the pulsing, pricking sensation of something spreading like wildfire on his skin, right where his heart is.
My Paper Heart - All American Rejects
Kazuya gets called to the white asylum-styled office Mary owns just when he's finished with Practical Defense with Domoto Koichi-sensei. Mary's already seated behind her intimidating table.
"You called for me?" he fidgets under Mary's stare, wonders what he did wrong. Again. Mary still hasn't kicked him out, even if he's as useless as they come, and Kazuya has zero control of his fighter even when they've been a pair for years. Honestly he thinks the only reason Mary's still keeping him is Johnny, who believes him and Jin are supposed to be together, and that Mary should not be messing with the natural laws.
"Oh, yes, please be seated," Mary gestures to the empty seat in front of the table. Kazuya obliges, waits for the pin to drop.
"As you may know, graduating students have an option to stay with Seven Moons and lend their services in educating the younger students." Kazuya's aware of that; Tackey-sensei had done quite a job of taking over for Domoto Tsuyoshi when Peerless were sent out for rogue missions after all. Tackey-sensei had also coerced him into taking up a job in the academy, should there ever be an offer from the higher ups.
"That being said," Mary continues, adjusting her eyeglasses, "Takizawa Hideaki and Domoto Koichi from our faculty both have recommended you as a potential instructor, giving you high praises, if I may say so. You know how the usual offer goes, I presume?" Basic salary plus incentives for clothes, lodging, standard car for emergency missions, and on-hand training with the students.
Just when he'd thought he could get out of responsibilities like these. "Hai."
"Then is it possible for us to receive your response before your formal graduation rites are held?" That's in four days, and-
"What about Jin," Kazuya doesn't know what compels him to ask, but the look on Mary's face when he says the name does not bode well.
Mary closes her eyes briefly. "Akanishi Jin has filed for an immediate transfer to Los Angeles as soon as he finishes his stay in the academy. He has requested us not to disclose any information to other parties," then with a pause, "including you, unfortunately."
And what about us, he suddenly wants to shout, the weight of the unexpected news too heavy for him to absorb immediately. What happens to me when he leaves?
It seems like Mary sees his discomfit, anyway. "If you remember, we informed you during your first day here that you and Akanishi are, for a lack of a better term, a Zero. There is no natural bond between the two of you, as we have established. Once he goes to America, the management there will be in charge of finding a suitable sacrifice for him, while we do our best to look for a fighter whom you can properly command."
No natural bond, the words echo in Kazuya's ears, a lump forming in his throat. He casts his eyes down, not wanting to show Mary of all people his weakness; she already think he's not worth much, and this could be a fatal blow to him. But still-
"If that is all?" Mary inquires, looking at him, arms crossed over her chest. Kazuya nods, and Mary politely reminds him to give his reply about the teaching post in four days and that he can leave now.
Baby Just Say Goodnight - The Click Five
Kazuya sneaks inside the room when he's sure the occupants have gone out for dinner. He's not quite twenty yet-gangly limbs and copper blonde hair reaching his shoulders, face almost permanently in a scowl these days-but if there's one thing he knows, it's where Selfless' fighter stocks his cigarettes. He's almost finished ten sticks when Jin comes across the hall and sees him lounging about.
"What," Kazuya flatly says when it looks like Jin's more interested with the floor than with him, "you're too good to even stop me from killing myself now?" He's angry at Jin, and maybe at himself a little, though he doesn't know why. He had always thought it was normal, spending the rest of his life with Jin, as crazy as it sounded. They were a pair, a dysfunctional one at that but a pair nonetheless, and Jin never showed hints about wanting to go separate ways.
Jin shrugs his shoulders. "Toma doesn't like people rummaging through his stuff." He leans beside Kazuya on the wall, long legs elegantly crossed at the ankles.
"And you're not someone who meddles in my life on a daily basis," Kazuya snorts, taking a hit of the cigarette instead. He doesn't want to close his eyes, doesn't want to think about not seeing Jin in his white shirts and washed jeans. "Also, Toma likes me more than he likes you."
Jin decides he won't start a fight, not this time. "Suit yourself."
"Why are you leaving," Kazuya finally decides to ask, the taste of tobacco and betrayal heavy on his tongue. "Is this really what you want," he continues, but it's not even a question.
Jin smiles a sad smile at him. "You should know how to read me by now, Kazu," he muses, stretching a bit and getting ready to go to their room. "Six years is a long time to be with someone, after all."
And that hurts, Kazuya realizes. That they have spent literally every day of the last six years together and now they're going to be separated, and Jin doesn't even want him to know a thing. It's like a long spool of thread has been intricately wound inside his muscles, the end of it only sticking out a little, and now that all the skin and tissues have regrown Jin's pulling on the loose end and prying out the string slowly.
"I'm pretty tired, Kazu," Jin says, hand already at the doorknob. "We never even talked honestly, right? This is more for you than for me, I guess."
It's all true, which is why neither of them can't do anything about it, in reality. An inevitable separation of sorts, which feels worse that a forfeit. Kazuya's pretty sure he doesn't say it out loud, but Jin hears him think don't go over and over in his head even long after Jin has gone inside the room.
絆 - 亀梨和也
Green and yellow ignite into fiery orange and red fade into brown crumbles to white, and everything is washed away, everything returns to where it's begun. Four seasons have passed twice, all of them bringing loneliness; it has been two years, and Kazuya still hears voice in his head, still feels the phantom touch of fingers punching into his, a shadow blocking his sight and his thoughts being echoed in words.
Right ear twitching, Kazuya looks up from where he's staring at the snow and sees some of the students outside. He hears the children every day, talking behind his back, the rumours flying around about him, about why he's not an adult yet, but Kazuya doesn't care. He'll wait, he can do that, stay here and be still until Jin decides they're ready to talk. Kazuya will explain and everything will be right, all will fall into place and-
"Kazuya," that's Tatsuya, and the room is suddenly cold.
Oh. Tatsuya, right, open door, snowing outside. "Hey," he looks away from the window, "Spell Class done?" Kazuya motions to the general vicinity of Tatsuya's desk. Their room is plain, a bit messy for three people, but having a room with three beds is already an oddity in the academy. Kazuya's surrounded by strange things, it seems, but he's had months and months to get used to it, hostility and denial and he's had enough of pushing people who matter away. It hurts, and he doesn't want to open a room that's so empty and only one bed being occupied when there's clearly space for two, memories for two, so much time wasted and now he's here-
"-out on me," Tatsuya looks at him while taking one of his many scarves off, laying them on his bed. "You know this is why I hate talking to you when you don't have class, right?"
Kazuya smiles a bit, smoothing his bed covers and looking down, "sorry, you were saying?"
The door shuts by itself softly. Wind, cold, snow. "No class," Tatsuya is stripping down to his non-prescribed clothes, the ones they're allowed to wear off-duty. Today is a white low-cut shirt and some dark denim shorts that go right below his knees. For someone who has so little body fat, Kazuya wonders why Tatsuya's fashion choices seem to be all wrong, especially for winter.
"Why?" just as the lights flicker on and off for a bit, and Kazuya looks at Tatsuya, confused.
Tatsuya points at the room's ceiling, "that," he sighs, settling down on his bed, hands behind his head. "Power outages, the kids from the senior class were playing pranks again. Mary is angry. "
Of course, Kazuya thinks. Nobody escapes the razor sharp tip of her tongue, not even the older pairs. "And Johnny?"
Tatsuya closes his eyes, "you know him, boys will be boys, what he always says." He stretches out on the mattress, facing Kazuya, and breathes, "hey, Nameless."
"Stop saying that," Kazuya answers back, but there's no heat in his voice; it's an old joke between them. A pause, then, "what?"
Sheets rustle for a bit, then Tatsuya is tugging on something, eyes open and understanding. "You can feel it, right?"
A slight pull, barely there, but Kazuya inhales slowly, hums his agreement.
"Then don't be such a stranger anymore," Tatsuya stops tugging, and it makes Kazuya want to cry in relief, in frustration, a weird but familiar mix of need and want.
Instead he settles for turning with his back to Tatsuya, looking outside.
They don't talk about anything after that. Tatsuya falls asleep in the mid-morning, and Kazuya is left to stare at the students, remembering destiny and names.
千年の Love Song - Kis-My-Ft2
Tatsuya raises an eyebrow at him. "But you're not-" he pauses, bends down to pick up and hold out something Kazuya cannot see. "This," he gestures, as if handing a stranger air is normal.
"What," Kazuya is looking at Tatsuya's hand, then Tatsuya's face, confusion marring his features. "Um."
"Your thread," Tatsuya shakes his outstretched hand a little, moving it closer to Kazuya. "Red thread," he repeats like he's talking to a moron when Kazuya looks like he won't take a hint, "every pair who's not a Zero has their red thread of fate connected to each other."
"Um," Kazuya mumbles lamely, his cat ears twitching. He can't see anything. "Mary-san and Julie-san called me earlier-"
"Yeah," Tatsuya waves the hand supposedly holding Kazuya's thread of fate in a non-committal gesture, making a face. "Don't believe those hags, they're kinda nuts," he says conspiratorially. His eyes are gleaming in a way Kazuya finds a little scary.
"Well," Kazuya hesitates a bit, looks at his pants, tattered at the knees, at his worn out, faded red Converse high-cuts, at anything but Tatsuya. Zeroes are without a name, no identity, it echoes at the back of his mind.
He doesn't know who to trust; it's his first day at Seven Moons and everything is still buzzing in his head. Mostly Kazuya just wants to know why his eldest brother had that look on his face when the family car had whisked Kazuya away at five o'clock this morning.
"You're a sacrifice, right," Kazuya starts when he hears Tatsuya say more than ask, not even waiting for an answer. "The other end of your thread is out there," he kicks at some gravel on the floor, "which means they haven't found your fighter. Yet."
"Nameless-" Kazuya tries, stops. That was how he understood what the adults were talking about, only Tatsuya is smiling at him a little weirdly.
Well, weirdly constituted a lot, just for today. Not fifteen minutes ago he had been in a soundproof room with people in white talking about pairs and names and battles, Kazuya's parents listening attentively, not minding that he had no idea what was happening. The tiny, old, funny-looking man had led him outside the room and introduced him to Tatsuya, telling them to shoo and explore the grounds. Tatsuya had grabbed his wrist and made a run for it.
And now, someone is approaching. It's that boy from earlier, the one Kazuya and his parents met by the gate. "You-" Kazuya starts, but then he doesn't know what to say when the boy goes next to Tatsuya and touches his arm shyly. It seems like he's cutting himself off a lot.
"Hi," the boy-from-the-gate says, "I'm Pristine," he offers a handshake, but the hand is swatted away.
"You aren't Pristine, stupid," Tatsuya sounds strict, ignoring Kazuya for a moment to turn the boy, "we are. Sorry Kazuya," he continues, smile in place, eyes on Kazuya again, "his name's Yuichi, he's my sacrifice."
It takes a few seconds for that to process. Kazuya blinks, gulps, then whispers, "sacrifice?"
"He doesn't know?" Yuichi says, like Kazuya isn't right there and all he sees is Tatsuya, and that's a bit disconcerting, Kazuya was sure they just met.
"Kazuya only got here, today," Tatsuya answers with the patience of someone who is talking to a five year old.
Yuichi scrunches his nose, "me too!"
"Well we're different," and that's that, Tatsuya's looking like one more sassy reply and he'll walk out, so Yuichi keeps quiet.
"Different?" Kazuya manages to make a sound, looking at the pair.
"You're," pulling back the sleeves of his shirt, Tatsuya shows the word, inked in black and running through his inner arm, "you don't have this. Or that's what you said," he pulls Yuichi's arm and shows it to Kazuya, the same name marking him. "I don't believe you though."
Yuichi interrupts. "He's a Zero?"
Zero. That word again. But before he can think about it, Kazuya hears his father's voice, and he turns around to find his parents waiting. He runs to them.
On Your Mind~Please Come Back to Me - KAT-TUN
Kazuya continues to see Nagano-sensei, determined to find out what milestone in his life he had missed or forgotten. They don't find anything initially, but Kazuya's more receptive to treatment now, doesn't brush off questions that he had deemed too prying all those years ago. Bit by it, there's enlightenment, and it sparks hope in Kazuya.
The phone call comes almost too late, in Johnny's opinion.
"Gramps," Kazuya utters after calming down his sobs. "Are you there?" he asks.
Right now, Kazuya's got a major headache, but at least everything is clear now. He can explain to Koji and tell him he's sorry, he didn't mean what happened that day; he can be accepted by his brothers again. He's not going to be a freak anymore.
And Jin, he can finally face Jin again.
"What is it, Nameless?" It's 3am, sometimes Johnny wonders if these kids ever sleep.
"I'm not," Kazuya replies immediately, then more calmly, "I'm not-you said I wasn't a Zero. I have a name."
"Your name, huh," Johnny sighs; maybe he really is too old for this. "Did your seniors ever tell you what's the most important rule?"
Kazuya sniffles. "It's real, even when it's just in your head. Some people say it's only real when you speak the words out loud, but in truth, thoughts are already real once it's in your mind." How he never understood that before will always be a mystery to Kazuya now.
"And?" Johnny presses on; he mostly really just wants to sleep.
Mary and Julie had always said that sacrifices were mostly dispensible in Zero pairs, and Kazuya almost never asks for anything, hesitation and the thought of having no choice anyway consuming him first, but this time he has no qualm with what he answers Johnny with.
"My name is Bound, and I want my fighter back."
No More Pain - KAT-TUN
"Hello?"
Silence on the other line.
"Hello?" More silence. "Who's this?"
"Nii-chan," Kazuya sniffs. "It's me."
A pause.
"Koji-nii, don't hang up."
Koji doesn't talk. He stops the car by the side of the road, doesn't want to cause accidents for people.
"Nii-chan." Kazuya sounds like he's been crying.
"What do you want," Koji says, voice clipped.
"I'm sorry, nii-chan," Kazuya answers. "About your friend. I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"You remember?" Koji cuts him off, surprised.
"I," Kazuya slumps to the floor, on his knees. "Yes. I'm really sorry," he whispers the last word so Koji won't hear his pathetic sobbing over the phone.
"That's-" a development Koji would've never imagined. He swallows, leaning his arms over the steering wheel. "Are you coming home?"
"I'm-what?"
"Visit soon," Koji insists, breathing slowly. "The next family holiday. Everyone will be there, so come, okay Kazu?"
Koji has never called him that name, has never called him anything at all, not once since the night Kazuya woke up from the game in the park. The accident, and Koji's friend. "Are you sure?" Kazuya hiccups.
"Stop crying, you baby," Koji chides, but there's a hint of some tears in his eyes as well. "You should come home. We should all come home, okay?"
"Nii-chan, I'm sorry," he doesn't even bother to hide his sobs. "I'm really sorry about everything."
Koji sighs. "I guess I just wanted you to remember, Kazu," he finally admits. "I don't think I was truly ever angry. It was unfair that you forgot while the family didn't, so yeah. But now you remember, so."
Kazuya blinks. "You're not angry anymore?"
"Truth? I don't know." Koji looks at his watch. He has to meet his wife in an hour; they've got a doctor's appointment today. "Look, we'll deal with that later. Now you go and call mom, tell her that you remember." He revvs up the engine. "Kazu, we'll talk prperly okay? When you're home."
"But-"
"Later," Koji says, and that's final. "Take care of yourself. And I'm glad you remember now. I'll see you, Kazu."
Stolen - Dashboard Confessional
Amidst the throng of people, Jin hears Kazuya before he sees him. It's just after winter, the first hints of spring touching leaves and sunrays kissing flower petals, but Kazuya looks like he's nursing a deadly cold, scarf wrapped all around his neck and covering half his face. There's a cigarette loosely held on fingers, eyes shielded by ugly, large eyeglasses.
Soon it'll be time for cherry blossoms viewing, Jin thinks. Right now all he wants is to throttle Kazuya to the ground and kiss him senseless, not that he'd ever done that before.
Still, he's never been too resistant of that niggling voice in his head. Kazuya doesn't even need to command; Jin always automatically gravitates towards him.
"I missed you," Jin breathes in smoke and almonds and mint, arms wound tight around Kazuya's shoulders once he's secure his bags aren't lost in some continent eight hours away. "I missed you so much," he repeats, softer, like a secret.
"Hey," Kazuya softly replies, voice choked and eyes closed, tears almost falling. "Hey," he repeats, this time louder to his ears, grip on Jin's coat tight, face hidden between Jin's neck and shoulder.
Kazuya hates talking, and Jin knows that much, won't push and pressure him into saying embarrassing things. "I'm back," Jin says instead, pulling back to look at Kazuya more properly. "Kazu, your ears," Jin notices, and Kazuya's cat ears twitch while his cheeks flush.
"Well I'm not the only one," Kazuya mumbles, pointedly looking at Jin's excited tail instead, black and a sharp contrast against his beige jeans and gray and white shirt.
Jin smiles at him, indulging. "I think you know why I still have mine," he rubs his thumbs under Kazuya's eyebags; they'll never completely go away, Jin knows. "So humor me."
Kazuya grunts. "Yuichi says they won't fall off if you're only doing it by yourself. Apparently it only works if I have someone else with me," he finally gets out, and the embarrassment gets replaced with a small burst of happiness when he hears Jin's hearty laugh.
Kazuya takes him to his apartment; he's stopped living inside the campus, and he didn't have the heart to intrude on Tatsuya's home, even when the other had offered. He's got a car now, and even if he's just been teaching at the academy for two and a half years, Johnny makes sure his efforts are well-paid for.
The drive is silent, and Kazuya tries not to think of strange things because well-nothing beats having someone hear your thoughts for more than twenty minutes at a time, he's sure. He's only being considerate, and Jin's had a long flight.
It's long after they've arrived at Kazuya's flat (white, marbled floor and a color palette selection that would do any grandfather proud), much time wasted under the pretense of setting down luggage, the grand tour, small talk, dinner, and more delaying tactics that Jin corners Kazuya by the bathroom, hands swift on clothes and body blocking the door.
"I missed you," Jin smiles, nosing the back of Kazuya's neck, and that's another shirt button undone, "I think it's about time you told me something interesting."
Kazuya gulps. Jin, he tries instead, because saying something out loud definitely won't work; he's tried countless times.
"Don't talk," Jin slides the shirt over Kazuya's shoulders, kisses the smooth plane of his back, marks his skin with words. Never curses nor restraints, but of love. "Just-you don't need to talk. But tell me everything, okay?"
Jin's tail playfully wraps around Kazuya's thigh, and when he presses himself a bit forward, Kazuya can feel something hard against his hip. It sends a slow, thick trickle of pleasure down Kazuya's spine, and he can't help but catch Jin's hands, pressing open-mouthed kisses to each palm.
Jin hums when Kazuya turns around, brown cat-ears twitching in anticipation and hands divesting Jin of his shirt. When Kazuya's calloused fingers touch Jin's name- a clean script written in bold black over his collarbones- Jin bites back his surprise. Kazuya presses his lips over the name, mind reeling and his groing stirring. So long, so so long and too much confusion and shouting, the cold silence of their separation and Kazuya too worried about red threads that maybe weren't real.
But Jin's here, solid and strong and radiating very enticing heat, and Jin saved him all those years ago, it was Jin who watched him from the shadows and fought to save him during that time, when they had no idea how things had worked- the kids that they were, and Jin's name is the same that's carved onto him, and right now Jin's hand is brushing affectionately over Kazuya's name.
Our name, Kazuya gulps, speaking the name in his head, and Jin echoes the same, only a bit loud, chocolate eyes filled with love. "Tell me everything," Jin whispers, thumb caressing Kazuya's cheek. Jin saved him, and Kazuya couldn't remember, had only thought about himself and his brothers; he hadn't wanted to be a sacrifice at all, had hurt them both so bad Jin had gone far away, and Kazuya thought everything would be okay with Jin leaving, but then the hurt became emptiness and Kazuya had not only once thought it was better to die.
But Jin's here, now, finally, and Kazuya's never letting him go again.
"I know," Jin smiles, tucks loose wisps of hair behind Kazuya's ears, "you're never letting go, right?"
Kazuya does what he's denied himself these past years; he surges up to kiss Jin.
Act on Emotion - KAT-TUN
Everything happens completely by accident. It is a Saturday afternoon and the boys, being boys, are in the empty lot beside the chapel, fooling around. The weird kid with a bad hair job and annoying yellow parka who's always lurking around isn't present today, or at least he isn't spying on them. Kazuya thinks he's one of those kids the local nuns have adopted; either way, he doesn't really care.
"Switch!" a panting Kasuga shouts. He is the oldest among them, save for Yuichiro, who isn't really with them to play. High school entrance exams are in a few weeks, and damn if he will set a bad example for his brothers.
Koji and Aoki trade places, while Yonemura goes to the pitcher's mound. They are playing a modified version of baseball today, and Kazuya is benched because otherwise they'll be an odd number; Yuichiro's nose is in his literature book. The older boys' egos also agree on Kazuya being the youngest and therefore least skilled.
Kazuya lets go of the tawny kitten he's playing with and sits up. "Koji-nii," he whines, kicking at dirt, "you said it'd be my turn twenty minutes ago!"
Turning a little, Koji makes a face. "Shut up, runt," he sticks his tongue out, and Kazuya huffs.
"Yu-nii!" Kazuya turns to his eldest brother, who barely acknowledges him, waving a hand and turning his book to the next page. The banter of the others fades into the background; they're a rowdy bunch, even for middle-school kids.
Suddenly, Kazuya's chest hurts. Not the heart attack kind, but a different sensation, an extremely sharp knife slicing at the letters carved in his skin. It feels uncomfortable, and Kazuya stands up, only to stumble in a disgraced heap and dry heave.
"Kazu?" That gets Yuichiro's attention. "You alright?"
Koji waves both hands up, and the boys halt. "What now," he puts down his glove, worriedly jogging over to his brothers, about to launch a tirade when Kazuya heaves again.
Stay, the voice in Kazuya's head says. Trust, the connection of two souls will overcome. Kazuya blinks away the tears. He definitely didn't imagine that voice.
It's painful. It's very, very painful.
"Where?" Koji's anxious face zooms into view. "Where does it hurt?" Kazuya must've said that one out loud.
"I-" Kazuya starts, trying not to clutch at his chest, when he hears the voice. Still. Unite with the heart and mind. Bind. Fix.
"Hey," someone from their group says from far away, only Kazuya can't recognize the voice because of the one he hears in his head, the one he's sure the others don't hear. "What's happening there," a different person this time.
There's a hand on his shoulder. "Kazu, hey, stop that," Yuichiro soothes, voice a little wobbly even as he's trying not to panic. Kazuya doesn't even realize he was shaking his head so hard.
Just as Kazuya's about to answer, a strong gust of wind blows. "I smell someone of our own kind," a booming voice sounds, and Kazuya looks up, frantic.
"You're right," another voice says, and suddenly there are three boys, the same built as Kazuya's brothers, walking towards their group. "Let's have some fun."
Fight or flight, the voice says to Kazuya, which do you choose?
"We challenge you to a battle," the tall, lanky one with sandy blonde hair says. "Zero versus Zero, there can only be one."
"Battle systems engage," the other one says, and two pairs of fists are punched against a pair of hands.
Accept.
How he knows what to say, Kazuya has no idea. He closes his eyes, thinks it in his mind, and someone speaks the words for him. Everything turns black; there are fire flowers and frightening bolts of electricity, shackles and chains piling up, flames and winds sharp enough to cut, then emptiness.
When Kazuya comes to, the lot looks like a tornado swept through it, and everybody else is thoroughly shaken, the boys all looking at him with wide, terrified eyes.
He realizes he's the only one standing up; the others either crouched or hiding behind the tires and trees.
The moment he sees Kasuga lying supine on the dirt, eyes open and lifeless, Kazuya screams until he passes out.
"Tadaima," Jin says when they step into the academy's premises, soft afternoon breeze and the warm glow of sunshine upon them.
They've had three days to fill each other in about their lives spent apart; about Kazuya room-hopping, trying and failing to be productive, going to Nagano-sensei. About dreaming, not remembering, more dreams, finally finding out what happened and wanting to explain to Jin. In turn, Jin tells him about America and London, about green-haired people with blue and purple eyes, about adults and temptation and differences in culture, about how good it is to finally be home, even if the girls in his American neighborhood were all single and had the hots for him. Kazuya doesn't understand how or why this is all relevant, until Jin says the only thing that kept him from losing his ears and tail was Kazuya's voice always talking him into coming home. Kazuya flushes molten.
"I'm home," Jin repeats, taking a lungful of air. They have to meet with Johnny now-there will be talks about official duties and what plans Jin has now that he's home.
Kazuya's heart soars when Jin holds his hand. Bound, the name resonates in his head, fills his whole body with a sense of completion, from his chest to his arms and legs to the tips of his fingers and toes. United, two ties that are joined by fate.
"Welcome home, Jin."
First Love - 宇多田 ヒカル
"Run!" Koji shouts, dragging Kazuya with him. The others tag along, clearly enjoying the evening rush.
Today's one of those rare days where Yuichiro and Koji actually spend time hanging out with Kazuya. Of course Kazuya has to mingle with his older brothers' friends and everyone's at least in middle school by now, but he doesn't mind at all. They've just finished with the batting cages, and it's an hour and a half past dinner time. Kazuya's curfew was three hours ago, and they're all dead meat.
They arrive at an intersection, and of course they have to stop unless it's safe to cross. Everyone's huffing, lungs thoroughly worked out from the non-stop exercise since this afternoon.
"Hey!" Koji swings blindly when Kazuya lets go of his hand. "What?" he growls, more annoyed than worried.
Kazuya, however, looks like someone electrocuted him. "I-" he can't finish, a niggling voice in his head suddenly whining about static, a phantom touch on his other arm, the one his older brother wasn't trying to dislocate earlier.
Yuichiro catches up, sees his brothers. "Are you okay?"
"It's Kazu," Koji starts, but the light goes green and then they have to run again or their mother will lock the door and there will be no dinner tonight and no escapades for three months. Grounded, no excuses.
Wait, Kazuya wants to say, but then someone grabs his wrist and they're sprinting again, and things are a blur because they're very, very late. He doesn't see the flash of bright red mixed with black nor the Pikachu-style hoodie that was behind him just a few moments ago. This time it's Yuichiro who's with Kazuya.
Their feet are sore from all the playing and running today, but the only thing Kazuya can think about, can feel is the pulsing, pricking sensation of something spreading like wildfire on his skin, right where his heart is.