Fic for singlehappiness and irrelephance (2/2)
Part 1
The next morning, Kame wakes again to the sound of Jin moving about the hotel room, and forces himself to get up so he doesn't end up sleeping the day away again. There's coffee left in the pot, and it's once again divine. For all of Jin's misadventures in the kitchen over the years, Kame has to admit, his friend definitely knows how to brew a decent cup.
Kame takes a seat in one of the two chairs around the very small dining table (the surface of which is buried beneath the sea of Jin's personal belongings). Sipping from his mug, he watches Jin bustle around trying to gather everything he needs for work. It's still weird to see Jin up for work so early, but the sight of him running late is a familiar one. As much as Kame would love to thank Jin for the previous night, trying to strike up a conversation when Jin's visibly stressed risks getting a snapped reply. So instead, Kame watches, faintly amused, as Jin hurries back and forth with his wallet in his mouth and missing one boot.
Kame calls out, "Itterasshai," as Jin's on his way out.
Jin starts a bit, as though he'd forgotten Kame was there (or to expect to hear Japanese), but then he smiles over his shoulder and flashes Kame the Hayato bunny ears along with his trademark, "Ciao."
Once Jin's out the door and silence reigns over the hotel room, Kame takes a moment to breathe. He takes another sip of his coffee. After last night, he feels different somehow. Lighter, maybe, for letting go of some of the stress he'd been holding onto. God knows what he's going to do about the situation and his responsibilities, but he still has time to figure that out. He doesn't have to be back in Japan for another two days yet. There's still a lot he wants to do in the meantime.
He'll make good on his word and leave the hotel today. He doesn't know how far he'll get, but spending time out in the fresh air will be a welcome change from yesterday. He feels ready for that now.
What he doesn't feel like is dressing up, so he doesn't, not even bothering to shave and only tying his hair back to keep it off his face. He slips the strap of his DSLR around his neck, throws his jacket over the sweatshirt Jin let him borrow, and grabs the spare key off the endtable before heading out.
A brisk spring breeze lifts the loose ends of Kame's hair from his neck, but it's the scenery beyond the hotel's front doors that takes his breath away. There's a picturesque park across the street, and with the leaves not yet on the trees, he can see the skyline on the other side of the river, dotted with blue and red rooftops. From the statues to the bridges to the cathedrals and palaces, the gothic architecture is awe-inspiring, maybe even grander than the iconic sights of Paris.
Kame takes it all in through the viewfinder of his camera, pausing to take panoramic shots wherever he can before continuing on his way. An asphalt path runs along the Danube, taking him past more parks, bridges, and piers. It strikes him, how wonderful it is to be able to wander aimlessly. Following the bank of the river reminds him of how he used to walk along the Edogawa after school, sometimes with Jin, but mostly by himself, alone with thoughts that sometimes carried him for miles. So Kame lets himself go. He listens to the sounds of the wind and water and lets the path take him wherever it will.
Coming to a busy intersection a fair distance from the hotel, a red-roofed, red-brick building catches his eye, about a block off. Through the stone archways at the base of the building, he finds a market bigger than any he's ever seen before. The red vaulted roof seems to go on forever: it reminds him of the many shopping streets back home, though he doubts any of the markets in Japan could boast the endless rows of produce, meats, fish, spices, cheeses, and wines he sees before him. Poring over the food reminds Kame he's meant to replenish Jin's fridge, and he's quickly convinced to try and cook something for dinner, too.
Perusing what's available, he decides on curry, because the process is familiar, even if some of the ingredients might not be. It's hard not to want to experiment with the exotic spices when they all tickle his nose so deliciously with the promise of bold flavors. He picks up all of the essentials-carrots, potatoes, onions, garlic-and substitutes bouillon cubes and the strongest packet of curry powder he can find for the blocks of roux so common at home. He gets creative with the rest, picking up things like Hungarian paprika and garam marsala for flavor and chickpeas for a different texture.
He can almost feel the gears grinding in his head as his thoughts turn to wine. Kame throws himself into cooking the same way he does everything else. Thinking about how best to blend together ingredients and arrange them elegantly on the plate allows him to block everything else out. All he has to do is focus on is keeping all the elements of the dish under his control to ensure an exquisite result. He gets a rush of satisfaction with every new dish he masters, and the feeling is addictive.
As far as wines go, he can't decide if a Shiraz or a Riesling would be more appropriate, so he gets one of each. The last thing he wants to do is spoil the meal with the wrong choice. (The thought that Jin will likely choose beer over a full-bodied red or crisp white picked specifically to complement the spices in the dish makes his nose crinkle.) A row of golden-topaz bottles with labels in Hungarian catches his attention next, and he selects a few to put in his basket. He figures there's no harm in bringing a few extra bottles back to Japan. It would practically be a crime to come all the way to Budapest and not sample the local vintages
Kame finds stairs to a basement level and ventures down, where he finds a vast array of food stands, not at all unlike the department stores at home. The only things that stop him from sampling the delectable-looking pickles and paprika-stuffed cabbages are the baskets full of food and wine weighing down his arms. He'll have to remember this place, or at least tell Jin to come here the next time his fridge is woefully bare. On his way out, Kame picks up enough cookware to stock Jin's poorly equipped kitchen.
He ends up buying so much that he has to get a cab, despite his distrust of them. He makes it back without incident, though, and lugs his purchases up to the room. Setting the Shiraz open on the counter to breathe and the Riesling in the fridge to chill, Kame surveys his culinary arsenal, re-fastens his hair tie, and gets started.
Cooking turns out to be just as relaxing as Kame had hoped it would. Jin doesn't have a rice cooker, so Kame has to boil it the old-fashioned way, on the stove, just as his grandmother taught him to when he was a boy. Minding the heat and adjusting it when necessary proves an extra challenge, but it's not an unwelcome one. Adjusting the lid on the pot and breathing in the scent of cooking rice in the steam takes him back, to summers he spent chasing fireflies and eating corn picked right off the stalk.
With his free hand, Kame sautées the onions and garlic in oil until they caramelize, turning a beautiful, translucent golden-brown. He flips them a few times with expert flicks of his wrist before adding cubed chicken breast to the mix. He lets the meat sizzle in its juices until all of the pink has faded and then stirs in the vegetables and the spices, letting the flavors mix for just a few moments before tipping the entire mixture into a deep pot set on the back burner.
Once the curry is bubbling away, slowly thickening to the proper consistency, Kame rewards himself for his hard work by sampling the wine. The Riesling is sweeter and lighter than he'd expected: a poor choice for the heavy spices in the curry. The Shiraz though proves ideal, providing just enough heaviness and spice of its own to enhance the dish without either overpowering or being lost in the paprika and curry powder. Kame pours himself a glass to sip from while the food finishes, and, feeling bold, adds a splash to the curry pot.
Jin gets in not long after Kame finishes his first glass. A very good thing, because Kame doesn't think he can handle much more on an empty stomach, and it's very good wine.
The first thing Jin says when he enters, sniffing the air is, "First cleaning and now cooking? When did you become a housewife?"
Kame responds by shuffling over to Jin and bowing low enough to make his ponytail flop forward. "Okaerinasai, goshūjinsama!" he sing-songs in the falsetto he reserves for when he's playing Kazuko.
"Cut that out, it's creepy!" Jin says, laughing, and Kame laughs too, as he ducks a swat to the head.
"Seriously, though, what did you make?" Jin asks, his nose leading him as he wanders into the kitchen. "It smells awesome."
"Hungarian curry," Kame answers plainly, dropping his voice back down to its regular register. He follows Jin into the kitchen, taking advantage of the opportunity to refill his wine glass. "I went shopping."
Jin almost looks like he doesn't know what to say, taking in the simmering pots on the stove, the counters already cleared, and plates and spoons already set out to use. Jin's apparent awe makes Kame fidget uncomfortably. Jin must really not be eating well if he's impressed by a simple plate of curry. Kame lightly swirls the wine in his glass before taking another sip. "It's not going to eat itself, you know," he says, "and I'm starving."
That's all the invitation Jin needs, taking hold of the ladle to serve himself up a huge plate. Kame follows suit, and they mumble, "Itadakimasu," before digging in.
They eat standing in the kitchen, backs resting against opposite counters and toes almost meeting in the middle. The pot of curry doesn't last long between the two of them, but before Kame can even wipe the corners of his mouth, he finds Jin looking back at him expectantly. "So what's for dessert?"
Kame rolls his eyes and heads over to the sink to do the dishes. "You're on your own for dessert. I've got mine right here," he says proudly, holding up the wine bottle by the neck. Kame can almost picture the disgusted look Jin's making over his shoulder.
When Jin eventually speaks, his voice is somewhat muted. When Kame turns around, he sees it's because Jin has his head buried in the fridge.
"Suit yourself," Jin says, almost gleefully as he emerges with a bottle of Bailey's. Kame rolls his eyes again.
While Jin mixes a concoction of Bailey's and Kahlua, Kame does the dishes and puts the leftovers away. Better to get the chore over with before he gets too tipsy to care. He's pleasantly buzzed already, and he knows even before he pours his third glass that this will be the one that does him in, pushing him over the line into full-on fuzzy intoxication, giddy for hours before the grant of blissful nothingness. He pours the glass and follows Jin into the living room.
They end up sprawled out on the bed, red-faced and howling at Jin's recounts of his misadventures with swords and horses during filming. Kame's stomach aches from laughing so hard, and he can't seem to stop the constant stream of giggles bubbling up through his chest. Jin holds his liquor better, but Jin's cheeks still turn a striking shade of pink as he makes jokes at his own expense.
"I thought the swordfighting scenes were going to be easy, but actually they've been the hardest. There were days I couldn't lift my arms higher than my shoulders. I looked like a mummy or something! You'd be amazed how much stronger I've gotten, though!"
Kame says nothing, just rolls up his sleeve and lets the muscles he's earned from Going! speak for themselves.
"Show off," Jin mutters, pouting, and shoves him.
Kame flops over dramatically, rolling in mirth as he giggles. "Never mind your arms," he says, propping his head on his crooked elbow to look at Jin, "how's your ass feeling after all those hours in the saddle? Not to mention your junk! The training we had to do for the tour last year was brutal!"
Jin makes a face that speaks of extreme discomfort, and that's all Kame needs to know, collapsing in laughter again. "The pains of being an actor, huh?"
Jin lashes out again, this time with his foot, catching Kame with his heel. "That's it, I'm cutting you off. You're lamer than Taguchi when you're drunk!"
"M'not drunk," Kame slurs unconvincingly. "Besides, you love me more than Taguchi," he coos, sidling up to Jin like he does when he's under the influence.
Jin laughs and pats Kame lightly on the head, as though he's placating a child. "Yes, Kazu. I love you more than Taguchi. Sometimes."
Kame snickers and smiles against Jin's shoulder, but doesn't say anything more.
They sit in companionable silence for a few moments before Jin lets slip a long, unabashedly loud yawn. "Maybe we should get some sleep," he suggests, and Kame falls bonelessly to the mattress when Jin shakes him free from the pillow he'd made of Jin's shoulder.
Sleepy from three glasses of wine, a full stomach, and the late hour, Kame hums his agreement into the sheets and scoots higher up the bed to nestle down into the pillows. He watches Jin through half-open eyes as he climbs to his feet and head for the adjoining bedroom. When Jin flips the switch, silhouette disappearing from the doorway, Kame smiles serenely and thinks of how grateful he is to have Jin as a friend.
~*~*~*~
The next day is Kame's last in Budapest, and he decides to get out and enjoy the city like a tourist. He's heard Hungary, like Japan, is famous for its hot springs, and a stop at a tourist kiosk on his way out of the hotel confirms it. The route to the nearest bathhouse takes him back towards the market he'd stumbled across the day before, then over the river. The force of the cars crossing the bridge makes the concrete and metal shake beneath his feet, and Kame has to grit his teeth.
He forgets all about his anxieties, though, when he realizes the domed palace-like structure on the far side of the river is where he's headed. The place looks fit to be a summer home for Hungarian royalty, but sure enough, the name out front matches the brochure he'd received from the tourist desk.
From the reception area to the locker room, everything seems to operate the same way it does at home, except even the interior hallways reflect a Roman decadence with shining jeweled tiles adorning the walls and ornate crown molding decorating the ceiling. Kame tugs on the ends of his towel draped around his neck, head tipped back in awe, until he notices that he's attracted the attention of some of the other patrons. Many of them, in fact. He shrinks back a little, trying to avoid their gaze and wondering just why they're staring until...oh. Feeling his ears and the back of his neck start to heat, Kame removes the towel from his nape and secures it around his hips like everyone else. Apparently that's one aspect in which Hungarian baths differ from Japanese onsen...
Once in the bathing area, he slowly descends into one of the hot thermal pools, feeling his skin tingle as it adjusts to the temperature. He wades over to one of the stone benches and takes a seat. The water ripples around him, and he sinks down until the water comes all the way up to his chin. Tilting his head back to rest against the stone (and dearly wishing he had a neck towel) he again lifts his gaze to the tiled ceiling, admiring how the shimmering water reflects across the aqua-green tiles. He lets his eyes fall closed and listens to the lulling sounds of gentle splashing and faraway conversation. It doesn't take long before the soothing mineral water starts to ease the stiffness in his tense muscles, and he lets his legs float in front of him, enjoying the blissful feeling of weightlessness.
He doesn't open his eyes again until he feels sweat start to bead on his brow, and a two-second dunk in the ice-cold plunge pool sounds better than another two minutes in the bath. As he goes to get out, though, he notices he's caught the eye of a young European man just across the way. The man looks like he could be a soccer player from how tan and leanly built he is. He has nice eyes, not to mention an attractive brush of stubble around his mouth and chin, and...
The man seems to notice the sudden interest Kame's taken. He smiles, and Kame quickly looks away. It's not just the steam that has him feeling flushed. He's well aware of the intent in that look, and he has to bite down on his lower lip to keep from smiling back. Under different circumstances, he'd definitely be interested, but... well, that's not the reason he's here. If he ever makes it back to Budapest, maybe, but definitely not right now. Keeping his head bowed, Kame steps out and makes his way over to the plunge pool. He feels the man's eyes on him the whole way, but he doesn't look back.
Over the next several hours, Kame crisscrosses the bathhouse, trying all the different pools and saunas at least once. He watches with fascinated amusement as steam rises off his skin when he goes from hot to cold and back again, feeling more revitalized every time he does it. Towards evening, he mellows out with one last, long soak in the thermal bath before making his way back to the hotel.
He feels boneless in the best possible way when he gets back, and the only thing that could relax him more is a good meal paired with even better wine. Jin hasn't come back from filming yet, so Kame boils enough pasta for the both of them and heats up the leftover curry to use as a sauce. Since Jin won't drink it (or know how to store it properly), Kame pours himself the last of the Shiraz so it won't go to waste.
A belly full of pasta and wine leaves him feeling sleepy, and he curls up on the pullout bed to doze. He loses track of how long he ends up lying there, but the sound of the suite door opening wakens him from his light slumber.
"Dinner's on the...on the stove," he tells the Jin-shaped figure in the doorway, stumbling over his words halfway through when a wide yawn interrupts them. "Hope you're not sick of curry."
Jin's high-pitched laugh rings from the kitchen, followed by the telltale sounds of cutlery scraping against metal. "Curry maybe. But your cooking? Not a chance."
Kame smiles at that and curls up to his pillow. His eyelids start to flutter again -- he could easily go on dozing for a long while yet -- then Jin's dropping down on the mattress next to him, plate and fork in hand, jostling him away from slumber.
"So whaffid oo do'way?" Jin asks around a mouthful of pasta.
Apart from rolling his eyes at the fact that Jin still hasn't learned not to talk with food in his mouth, Kame doesn't hesitate in answering. After nearly fifteen years of friendship, if there's one foreign language he's fluent in, it's Jin-while-eating. "I went to one of the bathhouses-the one called Gellert, just across the river."
Thankfully Jin swallows before speaking again. "Cool. How was it?"
Kame thinks of the soccer player and tries not to smile. "It was great. Like if you took an onsen, built it about ten times bigger, and dropped it in the middle of ancient Rome. It was beautiful, and really, really relaxing."
Jin hums and twirls some more pasta around his fork. "Souns lie oo 'af uh ood 'ay," he says.
Kame lets out a contented hum, still feeling pleasantly listless from the spa. "I did have a good day."
"So," Jin continues after swallowing, for some reason sounding much more guarded than he had a moment ago. "When do you fly out?"
Just like that, Kame feels the weight of reality settle back on his shoulders, and he draws himself upright. "Tomorrow morning," he answers, and starts picking at a loose thread on the cuff of his sweater.
Jin swallows again and sets his plate to the side. "Too bad. Sorry I couldn't be here more often. Work, you know..."
Kame smiles tightly and shrugs a shoulder. "Don't have to apologize. I, of all people, know how that goes."
The bit of self-deprecating humor draws a soft, but still guarded chuckle from Jin's throat. "So what will you do when you go back?"
Kame shrugs again and examines his thumbnail. "I have no idea. I don't have the faintest clue where to start."
"Okay," Jin says patiently, "what is Johnny going to make you do when you go back?"
Kame chuckles in a humorless way that doesn't suit him at all. "Don't have a clue on that, either. Johnny suspended everyone's activities after the 11th. He wants all of us to come together for some agency-wide charity events in support of the disaster victims, but none of the details have been confirmed yet. He'll probably want you to contribute in some way, too. Don't know if you've heard anything from your manager yet, but--"
Jin interrupts him. "That's great! If you get a chance, put in a word for me; I want to do everything I can." Posture suddenly tense, Jin leans forward and wrings his hands between his knees. "I've not been able to do a damned thing to help being all the way out here, so I'll do anything I can. Please, make sure he knows that."
Kame reaches out to rest a hand on Jin's knee, saying quietly, "Jin, even if you'd been at home, there's nothing you'd have been able to do. Hell, the first few days afterwards were so chaotic that no one knew what was going on. Even after this, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Other than going along with whatever Johnny decides he wants, I'm not really sure how to handle all of this. I thought about what you said, about letting some of the cracks show because everyone's hurting and everyone has them, and I think you might be right, but...I'm not sure how. I have to think about management and scheduling, and all the obligations I already have. I just...don't know where to start."
Jin frowns thoughtfully and fidgets a little. "If you want my honest advice, I think the best possible thing you can do right now is just try. I mean, you've worked your ass off and put up with a lot of shit over the years to make sure that people respect you, and the time's come for you to take full advantage of that, to be your media darling self and do what you can. Just think about how you want to help, make suggestions to people, and see what they say. And if they say no, fuck what they think and do it anyway. You have resources. You should use them."
Kame takes a deep breath, followed by another. He swallows thickly, trying to clear away the lump suddenly forming in his throat. "Thanks, Jin," he manages eventually. "That's… that's good."
Jin doesn't say anything back, just bumps Kame's shoulder lightly with his own.
As though Jin's words touched a spark to the dormant wires, for the first time since the disaster Kame feels capable of thinking practically about work, and he starts rattling off ideas as they come to him. "You know, Koki said that on our first day off, he was going to fill his car with supplies and drive it up to Miyagi. That one boy he helped for 24 Hour TV was from there. Koki wanted to make sure he and his family were okay. And...there's no reason why I can't do something like that. I could see if the Going! producers would let me go on a locale shoot to somewhere like Miyagi to bring supplies and maybe get the local kids together to play a game of baseball or something. At least that'd be something, you know?"
Jin nods supportively. "Bet they'd let you. It's a good idea."
Kame nods, barely taking a breath before getting going again. "And it'd be good if KAT-TUN could do something, too. We're supposed to have a huge Dome anniversary tour this year, but god knows how this whole thing is going to impact the start of the baseball season, so our entire tour could be riding on that. In the meantime, maybe the guys and I could talk to management about doing special concerts or meet-and-greets, either as part of the charity event Johnny's planning, or separately just as KAT-TUN."
When Kame looks up, looks to Jin for a reaction, he wonders how long Jin's been staring at the wall instead of at him. Jin has gone tense, is biting down hard on his bottom lip: it's all that's keeping him together, and he'd rather bite down hard enough to bleed than let Kame see any of what must be flashing across his face.
It's all there in Jin's body language. Kame can read it like a signboard, and he promptly tries to back them both off of dangerous ground. "Can't do anything until we hear from the talking heads at the top, though, huh? Until then, thanks for taking me in these last few days. It's been the perfect retreat-one that I really needed. I think I should get started packing, though, so I'm not rushing around trying to do it in the morning."
As Kame ducks into the bathroom to collect his things, he pretends he doesn't see Jin wiping at his eyes with the heels of his palms.
Kame takes perhaps more care than necessary in packing up his shaving kit, his toothbrush, and his assorted travel-size bottles of hair and skincare products, keeping an ear tilted toward the door to try and gauge how long Jin might need to compose himself. With Jin's pride and disdain for crying in the presence of others, it shouldn't take long, but Kame doesn't want to take a chance and make things more awkward.
In the end, it's Jin who comes looking for Kame, rapping lightly on the doorframe. "You okay in there?" he calls.
Kame takes that to mean it's okay to come out. "Yeah, just making sure I haven't forgotten anything," he says casually. He tucks his travel bag beneath his arm and offers Jin a smile, which he's pleased to see Jin return, if only briefly.
"So," Jin continues, "think you've got the work thing all figured out?"
"Yeah, I think I'll be able to handle it. Thanks again." He gives Jin a softer, more humble smile -- the work advice isn't the only thing he's grateful for -- and he sees some of the tension melt away from Jin's frame. Within moments, Jin's dropped his defenses. They're back on an even footing.
"That's good. I, uh...I think I should be heading to bed soon, though. Another early start, you know?"
Kame nods in understanding. "Yeah, I know. Don't have to tell me about early mornings."
Jin chuckles at that. "Yeah."
Kame expects Jin to shut off the lights and head for the bedroom, but even as he draws down the covers on the pullout, Jin just keeps standing there, fidgeting awkwardly. As he slips beneath the sheets, Kame shoots Jin a look, as if to ask, 'Are you okay?' but Jin only looks away and comes back around the bed.
"D'you think it would be okay," he asks, hands shoved deep in his pockets, "...for old time's sake?"
Kame sees the question laid bare in Jin's eyes, and he wordlessly draws the covers back further, scooting over to make room. Jin climbs in, shifts a few times to get comfortable, and ends up on his back. Kame draws the blankets higher over both of them as he curls up on his side, facing Jin, though not close enough to touch. Even so, just for having Jin there beside him, he sleeps peacefully through the night. He'll later wonder if it hadn't been the same for Jin.
~*~*~*~
In the morning, Kame rises first and ducks into the bathroom for a shower. By the time he emerges fresh and dressed, Jin's up and about, too. He's started a pot of coffee brewing in the kitchen, but Kame doesn't even have time for one last cup. His plane leaves in just a few short hours. He makes one last sweep of the suite to make sure he hasn't left anything, and then shoulders his bag. Jin watches him a moment and then rises too, dragging his feet slowly to the doorway.
They smile at each other, tentatively and yet not. This isn't the first time they've been in this situation, and it won't be the last.
"Take care, yeah?" Jin says, and wraps his arms around Kame's shoulders. "I mean, I know you will, but...still."
Kame returns the embrace, letting his chin rest briefly on Jin's broad shoulder. "Same to you. Do what you need to do here, and then come home as soon as you can."
"We're going to London next," is Jin's answer to that, and he doesn't have to say anything more.
"Yeah? Let me know when you're settled, and I'll see if the suits won't give me a few days off to come visit. You know, I still haven't made it to London."
Jin doesn't say anything to that, but again he doesn't have to. Kame understands everything he means to say from how he clutches at Kame's jacket just a little bit tighter before letting go.
***
Boro boro ni naru made, hikisakarete itemo,
Ano toki no ano basho, kienai kono kizuna…
-- 'Kizuna', Kamenashi Kazuya
The next morning, Kame wakes again to the sound of Jin moving about the hotel room, and forces himself to get up so he doesn't end up sleeping the day away again. There's coffee left in the pot, and it's once again divine. For all of Jin's misadventures in the kitchen over the years, Kame has to admit, his friend definitely knows how to brew a decent cup.
Kame takes a seat in one of the two chairs around the very small dining table (the surface of which is buried beneath the sea of Jin's personal belongings). Sipping from his mug, he watches Jin bustle around trying to gather everything he needs for work. It's still weird to see Jin up for work so early, but the sight of him running late is a familiar one. As much as Kame would love to thank Jin for the previous night, trying to strike up a conversation when Jin's visibly stressed risks getting a snapped reply. So instead, Kame watches, faintly amused, as Jin hurries back and forth with his wallet in his mouth and missing one boot.
Kame calls out, "Itterasshai," as Jin's on his way out.
Jin starts a bit, as though he'd forgotten Kame was there (or to expect to hear Japanese), but then he smiles over his shoulder and flashes Kame the Hayato bunny ears along with his trademark, "Ciao."
Once Jin's out the door and silence reigns over the hotel room, Kame takes a moment to breathe. He takes another sip of his coffee. After last night, he feels different somehow. Lighter, maybe, for letting go of some of the stress he'd been holding onto. God knows what he's going to do about the situation and his responsibilities, but he still has time to figure that out. He doesn't have to be back in Japan for another two days yet. There's still a lot he wants to do in the meantime.
He'll make good on his word and leave the hotel today. He doesn't know how far he'll get, but spending time out in the fresh air will be a welcome change from yesterday. He feels ready for that now.
What he doesn't feel like is dressing up, so he doesn't, not even bothering to shave and only tying his hair back to keep it off his face. He slips the strap of his DSLR around his neck, throws his jacket over the sweatshirt Jin let him borrow, and grabs the spare key off the endtable before heading out.
A brisk spring breeze lifts the loose ends of Kame's hair from his neck, but it's the scenery beyond the hotel's front doors that takes his breath away. There's a picturesque park across the street, and with the leaves not yet on the trees, he can see the skyline on the other side of the river, dotted with blue and red rooftops. From the statues to the bridges to the cathedrals and palaces, the gothic architecture is awe-inspiring, maybe even grander than the iconic sights of Paris.
Kame takes it all in through the viewfinder of his camera, pausing to take panoramic shots wherever he can before continuing on his way. An asphalt path runs along the Danube, taking him past more parks, bridges, and piers. It strikes him, how wonderful it is to be able to wander aimlessly. Following the bank of the river reminds him of how he used to walk along the Edogawa after school, sometimes with Jin, but mostly by himself, alone with thoughts that sometimes carried him for miles. So Kame lets himself go. He listens to the sounds of the wind and water and lets the path take him wherever it will.
Coming to a busy intersection a fair distance from the hotel, a red-roofed, red-brick building catches his eye, about a block off. Through the stone archways at the base of the building, he finds a market bigger than any he's ever seen before. The red vaulted roof seems to go on forever: it reminds him of the many shopping streets back home, though he doubts any of the markets in Japan could boast the endless rows of produce, meats, fish, spices, cheeses, and wines he sees before him. Poring over the food reminds Kame he's meant to replenish Jin's fridge, and he's quickly convinced to try and cook something for dinner, too.
Perusing what's available, he decides on curry, because the process is familiar, even if some of the ingredients might not be. It's hard not to want to experiment with the exotic spices when they all tickle his nose so deliciously with the promise of bold flavors. He picks up all of the essentials-carrots, potatoes, onions, garlic-and substitutes bouillon cubes and the strongest packet of curry powder he can find for the blocks of roux so common at home. He gets creative with the rest, picking up things like Hungarian paprika and garam marsala for flavor and chickpeas for a different texture.
He can almost feel the gears grinding in his head as his thoughts turn to wine. Kame throws himself into cooking the same way he does everything else. Thinking about how best to blend together ingredients and arrange them elegantly on the plate allows him to block everything else out. All he has to do is focus on is keeping all the elements of the dish under his control to ensure an exquisite result. He gets a rush of satisfaction with every new dish he masters, and the feeling is addictive.
As far as wines go, he can't decide if a Shiraz or a Riesling would be more appropriate, so he gets one of each. The last thing he wants to do is spoil the meal with the wrong choice. (The thought that Jin will likely choose beer over a full-bodied red or crisp white picked specifically to complement the spices in the dish makes his nose crinkle.) A row of golden-topaz bottles with labels in Hungarian catches his attention next, and he selects a few to put in his basket. He figures there's no harm in bringing a few extra bottles back to Japan. It would practically be a crime to come all the way to Budapest and not sample the local vintages
Kame finds stairs to a basement level and ventures down, where he finds a vast array of food stands, not at all unlike the department stores at home. The only things that stop him from sampling the delectable-looking pickles and paprika-stuffed cabbages are the baskets full of food and wine weighing down his arms. He'll have to remember this place, or at least tell Jin to come here the next time his fridge is woefully bare. On his way out, Kame picks up enough cookware to stock Jin's poorly equipped kitchen.
He ends up buying so much that he has to get a cab, despite his distrust of them. He makes it back without incident, though, and lugs his purchases up to the room. Setting the Shiraz open on the counter to breathe and the Riesling in the fridge to chill, Kame surveys his culinary arsenal, re-fastens his hair tie, and gets started.
Cooking turns out to be just as relaxing as Kame had hoped it would. Jin doesn't have a rice cooker, so Kame has to boil it the old-fashioned way, on the stove, just as his grandmother taught him to when he was a boy. Minding the heat and adjusting it when necessary proves an extra challenge, but it's not an unwelcome one. Adjusting the lid on the pot and breathing in the scent of cooking rice in the steam takes him back, to summers he spent chasing fireflies and eating corn picked right off the stalk.
With his free hand, Kame sautées the onions and garlic in oil until they caramelize, turning a beautiful, translucent golden-brown. He flips them a few times with expert flicks of his wrist before adding cubed chicken breast to the mix. He lets the meat sizzle in its juices until all of the pink has faded and then stirs in the vegetables and the spices, letting the flavors mix for just a few moments before tipping the entire mixture into a deep pot set on the back burner.
Once the curry is bubbling away, slowly thickening to the proper consistency, Kame rewards himself for his hard work by sampling the wine. The Riesling is sweeter and lighter than he'd expected: a poor choice for the heavy spices in the curry. The Shiraz though proves ideal, providing just enough heaviness and spice of its own to enhance the dish without either overpowering or being lost in the paprika and curry powder. Kame pours himself a glass to sip from while the food finishes, and, feeling bold, adds a splash to the curry pot.
Jin gets in not long after Kame finishes his first glass. A very good thing, because Kame doesn't think he can handle much more on an empty stomach, and it's very good wine.
The first thing Jin says when he enters, sniffing the air is, "First cleaning and now cooking? When did you become a housewife?"
Kame responds by shuffling over to Jin and bowing low enough to make his ponytail flop forward. "Okaerinasai, goshūjinsama!" he sing-songs in the falsetto he reserves for when he's playing Kazuko.
"Cut that out, it's creepy!" Jin says, laughing, and Kame laughs too, as he ducks a swat to the head.
"Seriously, though, what did you make?" Jin asks, his nose leading him as he wanders into the kitchen. "It smells awesome."
"Hungarian curry," Kame answers plainly, dropping his voice back down to its regular register. He follows Jin into the kitchen, taking advantage of the opportunity to refill his wine glass. "I went shopping."
Jin almost looks like he doesn't know what to say, taking in the simmering pots on the stove, the counters already cleared, and plates and spoons already set out to use. Jin's apparent awe makes Kame fidget uncomfortably. Jin must really not be eating well if he's impressed by a simple plate of curry. Kame lightly swirls the wine in his glass before taking another sip. "It's not going to eat itself, you know," he says, "and I'm starving."
That's all the invitation Jin needs, taking hold of the ladle to serve himself up a huge plate. Kame follows suit, and they mumble, "Itadakimasu," before digging in.
They eat standing in the kitchen, backs resting against opposite counters and toes almost meeting in the middle. The pot of curry doesn't last long between the two of them, but before Kame can even wipe the corners of his mouth, he finds Jin looking back at him expectantly. "So what's for dessert?"
Kame rolls his eyes and heads over to the sink to do the dishes. "You're on your own for dessert. I've got mine right here," he says proudly, holding up the wine bottle by the neck. Kame can almost picture the disgusted look Jin's making over his shoulder.
When Jin eventually speaks, his voice is somewhat muted. When Kame turns around, he sees it's because Jin has his head buried in the fridge.
"Suit yourself," Jin says, almost gleefully as he emerges with a bottle of Bailey's. Kame rolls his eyes again.
While Jin mixes a concoction of Bailey's and Kahlua, Kame does the dishes and puts the leftovers away. Better to get the chore over with before he gets too tipsy to care. He's pleasantly buzzed already, and he knows even before he pours his third glass that this will be the one that does him in, pushing him over the line into full-on fuzzy intoxication, giddy for hours before the grant of blissful nothingness. He pours the glass and follows Jin into the living room.
They end up sprawled out on the bed, red-faced and howling at Jin's recounts of his misadventures with swords and horses during filming. Kame's stomach aches from laughing so hard, and he can't seem to stop the constant stream of giggles bubbling up through his chest. Jin holds his liquor better, but Jin's cheeks still turn a striking shade of pink as he makes jokes at his own expense.
"I thought the swordfighting scenes were going to be easy, but actually they've been the hardest. There were days I couldn't lift my arms higher than my shoulders. I looked like a mummy or something! You'd be amazed how much stronger I've gotten, though!"
Kame says nothing, just rolls up his sleeve and lets the muscles he's earned from Going! speak for themselves.
"Show off," Jin mutters, pouting, and shoves him.
Kame flops over dramatically, rolling in mirth as he giggles. "Never mind your arms," he says, propping his head on his crooked elbow to look at Jin, "how's your ass feeling after all those hours in the saddle? Not to mention your junk! The training we had to do for the tour last year was brutal!"
Jin makes a face that speaks of extreme discomfort, and that's all Kame needs to know, collapsing in laughter again. "The pains of being an actor, huh?"
Jin lashes out again, this time with his foot, catching Kame with his heel. "That's it, I'm cutting you off. You're lamer than Taguchi when you're drunk!"
"M'not drunk," Kame slurs unconvincingly. "Besides, you love me more than Taguchi," he coos, sidling up to Jin like he does when he's under the influence.
Jin laughs and pats Kame lightly on the head, as though he's placating a child. "Yes, Kazu. I love you more than Taguchi. Sometimes."
Kame snickers and smiles against Jin's shoulder, but doesn't say anything more.
They sit in companionable silence for a few moments before Jin lets slip a long, unabashedly loud yawn. "Maybe we should get some sleep," he suggests, and Kame falls bonelessly to the mattress when Jin shakes him free from the pillow he'd made of Jin's shoulder.
Sleepy from three glasses of wine, a full stomach, and the late hour, Kame hums his agreement into the sheets and scoots higher up the bed to nestle down into the pillows. He watches Jin through half-open eyes as he climbs to his feet and head for the adjoining bedroom. When Jin flips the switch, silhouette disappearing from the doorway, Kame smiles serenely and thinks of how grateful he is to have Jin as a friend.
~*~*~*~
The next day is Kame's last in Budapest, and he decides to get out and enjoy the city like a tourist. He's heard Hungary, like Japan, is famous for its hot springs, and a stop at a tourist kiosk on his way out of the hotel confirms it. The route to the nearest bathhouse takes him back towards the market he'd stumbled across the day before, then over the river. The force of the cars crossing the bridge makes the concrete and metal shake beneath his feet, and Kame has to grit his teeth.
He forgets all about his anxieties, though, when he realizes the domed palace-like structure on the far side of the river is where he's headed. The place looks fit to be a summer home for Hungarian royalty, but sure enough, the name out front matches the brochure he'd received from the tourist desk.
From the reception area to the locker room, everything seems to operate the same way it does at home, except even the interior hallways reflect a Roman decadence with shining jeweled tiles adorning the walls and ornate crown molding decorating the ceiling. Kame tugs on the ends of his towel draped around his neck, head tipped back in awe, until he notices that he's attracted the attention of some of the other patrons. Many of them, in fact. He shrinks back a little, trying to avoid their gaze and wondering just why they're staring until...oh. Feeling his ears and the back of his neck start to heat, Kame removes the towel from his nape and secures it around his hips like everyone else. Apparently that's one aspect in which Hungarian baths differ from Japanese onsen...
Once in the bathing area, he slowly descends into one of the hot thermal pools, feeling his skin tingle as it adjusts to the temperature. He wades over to one of the stone benches and takes a seat. The water ripples around him, and he sinks down until the water comes all the way up to his chin. Tilting his head back to rest against the stone (and dearly wishing he had a neck towel) he again lifts his gaze to the tiled ceiling, admiring how the shimmering water reflects across the aqua-green tiles. He lets his eyes fall closed and listens to the lulling sounds of gentle splashing and faraway conversation. It doesn't take long before the soothing mineral water starts to ease the stiffness in his tense muscles, and he lets his legs float in front of him, enjoying the blissful feeling of weightlessness.
He doesn't open his eyes again until he feels sweat start to bead on his brow, and a two-second dunk in the ice-cold plunge pool sounds better than another two minutes in the bath. As he goes to get out, though, he notices he's caught the eye of a young European man just across the way. The man looks like he could be a soccer player from how tan and leanly built he is. He has nice eyes, not to mention an attractive brush of stubble around his mouth and chin, and...
The man seems to notice the sudden interest Kame's taken. He smiles, and Kame quickly looks away. It's not just the steam that has him feeling flushed. He's well aware of the intent in that look, and he has to bite down on his lower lip to keep from smiling back. Under different circumstances, he'd definitely be interested, but... well, that's not the reason he's here. If he ever makes it back to Budapest, maybe, but definitely not right now. Keeping his head bowed, Kame steps out and makes his way over to the plunge pool. He feels the man's eyes on him the whole way, but he doesn't look back.
Over the next several hours, Kame crisscrosses the bathhouse, trying all the different pools and saunas at least once. He watches with fascinated amusement as steam rises off his skin when he goes from hot to cold and back again, feeling more revitalized every time he does it. Towards evening, he mellows out with one last, long soak in the thermal bath before making his way back to the hotel.
He feels boneless in the best possible way when he gets back, and the only thing that could relax him more is a good meal paired with even better wine. Jin hasn't come back from filming yet, so Kame boils enough pasta for the both of them and heats up the leftover curry to use as a sauce. Since Jin won't drink it (or know how to store it properly), Kame pours himself the last of the Shiraz so it won't go to waste.
A belly full of pasta and wine leaves him feeling sleepy, and he curls up on the pullout bed to doze. He loses track of how long he ends up lying there, but the sound of the suite door opening wakens him from his light slumber.
"Dinner's on the...on the stove," he tells the Jin-shaped figure in the doorway, stumbling over his words halfway through when a wide yawn interrupts them. "Hope you're not sick of curry."
Jin's high-pitched laugh rings from the kitchen, followed by the telltale sounds of cutlery scraping against metal. "Curry maybe. But your cooking? Not a chance."
Kame smiles at that and curls up to his pillow. His eyelids start to flutter again -- he could easily go on dozing for a long while yet -- then Jin's dropping down on the mattress next to him, plate and fork in hand, jostling him away from slumber.
"So whaffid oo do'way?" Jin asks around a mouthful of pasta.
Apart from rolling his eyes at the fact that Jin still hasn't learned not to talk with food in his mouth, Kame doesn't hesitate in answering. After nearly fifteen years of friendship, if there's one foreign language he's fluent in, it's Jin-while-eating. "I went to one of the bathhouses-the one called Gellert, just across the river."
Thankfully Jin swallows before speaking again. "Cool. How was it?"
Kame thinks of the soccer player and tries not to smile. "It was great. Like if you took an onsen, built it about ten times bigger, and dropped it in the middle of ancient Rome. It was beautiful, and really, really relaxing."
Jin hums and twirls some more pasta around his fork. "Souns lie oo 'af uh ood 'ay," he says.
Kame lets out a contented hum, still feeling pleasantly listless from the spa. "I did have a good day."
"So," Jin continues after swallowing, for some reason sounding much more guarded than he had a moment ago. "When do you fly out?"
Just like that, Kame feels the weight of reality settle back on his shoulders, and he draws himself upright. "Tomorrow morning," he answers, and starts picking at a loose thread on the cuff of his sweater.
Jin swallows again and sets his plate to the side. "Too bad. Sorry I couldn't be here more often. Work, you know..."
Kame smiles tightly and shrugs a shoulder. "Don't have to apologize. I, of all people, know how that goes."
The bit of self-deprecating humor draws a soft, but still guarded chuckle from Jin's throat. "So what will you do when you go back?"
Kame shrugs again and examines his thumbnail. "I have no idea. I don't have the faintest clue where to start."
"Okay," Jin says patiently, "what is Johnny going to make you do when you go back?"
Kame chuckles in a humorless way that doesn't suit him at all. "Don't have a clue on that, either. Johnny suspended everyone's activities after the 11th. He wants all of us to come together for some agency-wide charity events in support of the disaster victims, but none of the details have been confirmed yet. He'll probably want you to contribute in some way, too. Don't know if you've heard anything from your manager yet, but--"
Jin interrupts him. "That's great! If you get a chance, put in a word for me; I want to do everything I can." Posture suddenly tense, Jin leans forward and wrings his hands between his knees. "I've not been able to do a damned thing to help being all the way out here, so I'll do anything I can. Please, make sure he knows that."
Kame reaches out to rest a hand on Jin's knee, saying quietly, "Jin, even if you'd been at home, there's nothing you'd have been able to do. Hell, the first few days afterwards were so chaotic that no one knew what was going on. Even after this, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Other than going along with whatever Johnny decides he wants, I'm not really sure how to handle all of this. I thought about what you said, about letting some of the cracks show because everyone's hurting and everyone has them, and I think you might be right, but...I'm not sure how. I have to think about management and scheduling, and all the obligations I already have. I just...don't know where to start."
Jin frowns thoughtfully and fidgets a little. "If you want my honest advice, I think the best possible thing you can do right now is just try. I mean, you've worked your ass off and put up with a lot of shit over the years to make sure that people respect you, and the time's come for you to take full advantage of that, to be your media darling self and do what you can. Just think about how you want to help, make suggestions to people, and see what they say. And if they say no, fuck what they think and do it anyway. You have resources. You should use them."
Kame takes a deep breath, followed by another. He swallows thickly, trying to clear away the lump suddenly forming in his throat. "Thanks, Jin," he manages eventually. "That's… that's good."
Jin doesn't say anything back, just bumps Kame's shoulder lightly with his own.
As though Jin's words touched a spark to the dormant wires, for the first time since the disaster Kame feels capable of thinking practically about work, and he starts rattling off ideas as they come to him. "You know, Koki said that on our first day off, he was going to fill his car with supplies and drive it up to Miyagi. That one boy he helped for 24 Hour TV was from there. Koki wanted to make sure he and his family were okay. And...there's no reason why I can't do something like that. I could see if the Going! producers would let me go on a locale shoot to somewhere like Miyagi to bring supplies and maybe get the local kids together to play a game of baseball or something. At least that'd be something, you know?"
Jin nods supportively. "Bet they'd let you. It's a good idea."
Kame nods, barely taking a breath before getting going again. "And it'd be good if KAT-TUN could do something, too. We're supposed to have a huge Dome anniversary tour this year, but god knows how this whole thing is going to impact the start of the baseball season, so our entire tour could be riding on that. In the meantime, maybe the guys and I could talk to management about doing special concerts or meet-and-greets, either as part of the charity event Johnny's planning, or separately just as KAT-TUN."
When Kame looks up, looks to Jin for a reaction, he wonders how long Jin's been staring at the wall instead of at him. Jin has gone tense, is biting down hard on his bottom lip: it's all that's keeping him together, and he'd rather bite down hard enough to bleed than let Kame see any of what must be flashing across his face.
It's all there in Jin's body language. Kame can read it like a signboard, and he promptly tries to back them both off of dangerous ground. "Can't do anything until we hear from the talking heads at the top, though, huh? Until then, thanks for taking me in these last few days. It's been the perfect retreat-one that I really needed. I think I should get started packing, though, so I'm not rushing around trying to do it in the morning."
As Kame ducks into the bathroom to collect his things, he pretends he doesn't see Jin wiping at his eyes with the heels of his palms.
Kame takes perhaps more care than necessary in packing up his shaving kit, his toothbrush, and his assorted travel-size bottles of hair and skincare products, keeping an ear tilted toward the door to try and gauge how long Jin might need to compose himself. With Jin's pride and disdain for crying in the presence of others, it shouldn't take long, but Kame doesn't want to take a chance and make things more awkward.
In the end, it's Jin who comes looking for Kame, rapping lightly on the doorframe. "You okay in there?" he calls.
Kame takes that to mean it's okay to come out. "Yeah, just making sure I haven't forgotten anything," he says casually. He tucks his travel bag beneath his arm and offers Jin a smile, which he's pleased to see Jin return, if only briefly.
"So," Jin continues, "think you've got the work thing all figured out?"
"Yeah, I think I'll be able to handle it. Thanks again." He gives Jin a softer, more humble smile -- the work advice isn't the only thing he's grateful for -- and he sees some of the tension melt away from Jin's frame. Within moments, Jin's dropped his defenses. They're back on an even footing.
"That's good. I, uh...I think I should be heading to bed soon, though. Another early start, you know?"
Kame nods in understanding. "Yeah, I know. Don't have to tell me about early mornings."
Jin chuckles at that. "Yeah."
Kame expects Jin to shut off the lights and head for the bedroom, but even as he draws down the covers on the pullout, Jin just keeps standing there, fidgeting awkwardly. As he slips beneath the sheets, Kame shoots Jin a look, as if to ask, 'Are you okay?' but Jin only looks away and comes back around the bed.
"D'you think it would be okay," he asks, hands shoved deep in his pockets, "...for old time's sake?"
Kame sees the question laid bare in Jin's eyes, and he wordlessly draws the covers back further, scooting over to make room. Jin climbs in, shifts a few times to get comfortable, and ends up on his back. Kame draws the blankets higher over both of them as he curls up on his side, facing Jin, though not close enough to touch. Even so, just for having Jin there beside him, he sleeps peacefully through the night. He'll later wonder if it hadn't been the same for Jin.
~*~*~*~
In the morning, Kame rises first and ducks into the bathroom for a shower. By the time he emerges fresh and dressed, Jin's up and about, too. He's started a pot of coffee brewing in the kitchen, but Kame doesn't even have time for one last cup. His plane leaves in just a few short hours. He makes one last sweep of the suite to make sure he hasn't left anything, and then shoulders his bag. Jin watches him a moment and then rises too, dragging his feet slowly to the doorway.
They smile at each other, tentatively and yet not. This isn't the first time they've been in this situation, and it won't be the last.
"Take care, yeah?" Jin says, and wraps his arms around Kame's shoulders. "I mean, I know you will, but...still."
Kame returns the embrace, letting his chin rest briefly on Jin's broad shoulder. "Same to you. Do what you need to do here, and then come home as soon as you can."
"We're going to London next," is Jin's answer to that, and he doesn't have to say anything more.
"Yeah? Let me know when you're settled, and I'll see if the suits won't give me a few days off to come visit. You know, I still haven't made it to London."
Jin doesn't say anything to that, but again he doesn't have to. Kame understands everything he means to say from how he clutches at Kame's jacket just a little bit tighter before letting go.
***
Boro boro ni naru made, hikisakarete itemo,
Ano toki no ano basho, kienai kono kizuna…
-- 'Kizuna', Kamenashi Kazuya