Fic for juniority
Title: SO YESTERDAY
Author: sheenalinh
Pairing: Akame
Word count: 6577
Rating: PG
Warnings: imaginary friend, messy timeline, confusing in certain levels
Notes: My grateful dedication to M, without her, this fic may not even exist.
Goya: every of Akame fangirl must know about this famous episode of them in Okinawa already, thus knowing this famous fruit :'3
Benimo: a sweet purple potato, famous in Okinawa, Japan
Daibutsu: "Great Buddha", a monumental outdoor bronze statue of Amida Buddha which is one of the most famous icons of Japan.
Lyrics' credit of Hodoukyou goes to fighter_of_moon I'm sorry for not being able to ask for your permission beforehand.
I haven't been to any of the places stated in this fic, therefore if there are any mistakes, please do accept my sincere apology m(_ _)m
Deary beta, you are my everything ♥ To juniority, I hope you like it
Summary: The you of yesterday lives in me
He tears the last remaining poster on the wall down and rolls it up before putting it in a round case holder. It leaves a stark contrast of color where the untouched part of the wall meets up with its duller one, the part that has been laid bare facing the flow of time and dust. Somehow it holds his gaze a tad longer than he expected. His fingers come touching the rough painted wall and linger there. Only at a moment like this does he realize the length of time he has spent here in the house. It brings back memories too, and a nostalgic feeling that ties a knot in his heart, a feeling which makes one hard to leave.
"Are you ready?"
Yuichiro's voice from behind is somehow successful in pulling him back to reality. Briefly closing his eyes, he says goodbye to the house one last time before turning back and nodding a confirmation to his older brother with a tender smile.
The scene of an empty house is so familiar to him. It's just like years ago when he had first moved in and filled up the place with his own belongings, leaving traces of his life inside a place he used to call home. At the end, everything will just turn back to another new beginning.
And he feels himself twenty years old again facing the locked closed door.
---
"So you packed everything?" Yuichiro asks again and he nods.
There may be too much space for the silence that's weighing down the atmosphere. He pats on his brother's shoulder lightly, reassuringly. "I have all I need. Thank you for lending me your hands."
"Don't be silly! How can I say no to my little brother? And it's Sunday anyway, I have no work as a back-up reason." Yuichiro grins at the last line and he laughs. The sound tinkles in the air like small little chimes. It surely helps ease up the tension.
He knows there is something more that Yuichiro wants to ask him about, and he also knows that it's not the same repetition of "Are you crazy?" or "Have you lost your mind?" They have worked it out nicely, or at least, his whole family has no more interest to interfere in his life. And he feels grateful just because of that.
"I'll drop you back at home." He says. "I also have something to give to Yuki too."
Yes, Yuki, his tiny little nephew, a resemblance of his own toddler self, with single lidded clear round eyes and bushy eyebrows, will surely love the baseball kit he gives. Yuki might grow up becoming a professional baseball like his uncle Yuuya one day, or might choose a totally different path no one would ever know. Either of that, he knows that he will seriously miss him, miss pinching his chubby cheeks and dressing him like a little iconic fashionista.
"Are you sure?" Yuichiro asks.
Sure to spend two hours just to drop him home? Sure to meet Yuki? Sure to give away his precious thing a professional baseball player had specially given to him? Sure to … leave?
He would surely say yes to all of the questions. But since Yuichiro leaves them hanging, he leaves them unanswered then.
It feels nice that way, just to go away.
---
The road is spreading. There may be barricades, left turns or right turns but it will never end. With one stop passed by, another direction opens. It keeps on to no end.
---
If there's a beginning for everything, then he knows for sure where the place he wants to make a start at is.
It's been so long yet it feels just like yesterday. He wanders aimlessly on the pedestrian bridge, step by step, bit by bit. One foot tries to fit neatly onto the square cement brick. The cool metal feels smooth under his palms as he slides along the handrail.
There's nothing but ground and soil under the bridge but at the two sides spreads the greenest lawn. He can hear in the air the chirping sounds of myriads of flying birds. The scent of earth after the rain has never been less sweet than what he can recall inside his memory.
***
Playing hide and seek under the rows of trees, the house had its rooftop painted red. It glowed hotter than the setting sun.
Banging the door wide open, Jin jumped down the three-step staircase and paused there to regain his breath. It only took him one hour and a half to wash himself, have dinner, do homework and change clothes which was not in that practical order by the way, but when he managed to leave the house, Kazuya had been standing there waiting for him for a while already. And yet here Jin thought he had been fast enough.
Well, chillax! Jin gained back his composure and just sent Kazuya a glance with his face held high before stepping up to lead the way.
"Hurry up Kame! Don't be so slow and fall back behind me ok?"
The younger boy showed no reaction. He was Kamenashi anyway and there was no other meaning in his last name though sometimes he knew Jin liked to use it in a mocking tone when he wanted to make fun of him. No big deal! Really…
They crossed the pedestrian bridge with Jin walking in a straight line, feet trying best to fit into the small square cement brick. The older boy believed that if he could make it straight and fit all the way to the other side, his wish of the day would come true. It took him great effort not to slip and fail while maintaining the lollipop in his mouth from falling down. Jin didn't always succeed since he liked to turn back to steal a glance at Kazuya from time to time, to know if the younger boy had followed his way of walking or not. And when he failed, Jin walked the rest of the way crossing the pedestrian bridge while banging a branch repetitively onto the metal handrail to let that annoying noise it made express how very annoyed he felt inside. Unexpectedly, it sounded nice to Kazuya's ears, but he never said it out loud.
---
At night, they sat down on the cement base and let their legs swinging freely in the air. Underneath the crystal starry sky, wrapping up in the singing sounds of summer crickets, they let their childhood dream flap its wings to fly high and low.
Jin wished to be a famous soccer player; Kazuya, a baseball star. It was an ambition he had adopted from his father, the one who dreamed to be successful in the sport he loved so much but sadly had had no chance in his whole lifetime to make it come true. One thing for sure, Kazuya didn't hate baseball. He figured out that it could be love then, thus he didn't mind carrying it on his shoulders, letting it enhance his strength to move on and try his best.
They both loved travelling though. In their long, endless wish list, they included also the dream to go discover the whole wide world. As long as the road kept on spreading, they would keep on going.
"With our own hands and feet." Jin said. "To see the real things! To touch the real things! Not just only watch things on TV anymore!"
"Un!" Kazuya nodded with determination, and added, "To eat all of the special dishes of that region too!" just because it was the thing Jin would love to do as he had been repeating it over and over again.
They hadn't quite figured out how to make it come true at that time yet but it was so crystal clear that they swore they could almost see the other side of the ocean looming in the far horizon.
---
Once, they attempted to fulfill their dream. And succeeded, almost.
There was a train station in the area. It was only a small stop for freight trains to come by for loading. It wouldn't go far but it was thrilling nevertheless.
Their petite bodies helped them hide easier behind the different forms of giant boxes and packages that were even bigger than both of them combined. No one had ever found out even after they had successfully climbed up one of the cars. It was crazy but there should be no word to describe the feeling they had had when the car started gliding on its rails. Like bubbles of excitement, they let them burst. Their yoohoo sounds emerged with the wind and dissolved in the stamping noises of metals on metals, a sound of rebellion, of freedom, of dare, of something unique in the age when puberty reached.
Jin's long hair tousled. Its corn silk color was getting more orange under the summer sun. Kazuya thought that it was beautiful compared to his short one with strands spreading up like nails in different directions. Jin flashed him a playful smile showing the gap between his big front teeth and Kazuya smiled back.
It was all Jin's idea and it was so fun.
They slightly opened the sliding door to look at the view outside. Flower fields and lawns alternated with housing landscapes along the roadside. There were a lot more places that their pedals hadn't reached yet. They wished to see more.
That little journey ended around a few hours later when the train officer discovered them sleeping like curling cats inside the car. Jin's back leant on a big carton for support, Kazuya's back on Jin. They were sent back home from another reverse train, free tickets of course, because he didn't wish to have stray cats on board. It only took them to two prefectures away yet it felt quite like a big journey for both of them nevertheless. Jin was too hungry at that time to even want to go for more. Kazuya was a little tired and the waking up without Jin's heat from behind somehow clouded his mind a bit; he went back floating like a sleepwalker.
It was still so fun and pride-filling whenever they thought back about that. At least they had something to boast about at school after the summer ended. The untold story behind the scene was that Jin had finally found himself sexy in the soccer short uniform as his butt was not flat anymore but swollen after receiving some whips from his angry mother. It didn't last longer than three days though.
That was the best summer Kazuya had ever had in his whole lifetime.
***
Summer in Okinawa was also very nice and full of pleasure. Well, if only it lacked the insane heat and the humidity or even rain or heavy storms that came without advance notice. There was this heaven of clear blue sky and silver waves on deep blue ocean awaiting for them.
Kazuya loved coconut milk, and the feeling of sand roughly touching his bare skin. Be it dry or wet, he still loved that scrubbing scratching in various tiny forms. He built himself a small hole to bury his bare feet while sipping down his favorite tropical juice and bathing under the sunlight. Jin built Kazuya a grave that only allowed his head, hands and feet to stick out on the ground.
"A shell for Kame!" Jin proclaimed proudly. His grin got wider.
The glory sun was above Jin's orange head, or simply that he was just glowing on his own. Kazuya's eyes narrowed to adjust with the sudden bright and laughed genuinely albeit the fact that Jin mistook a big belly with a shell on the back and that Jin was hella heavy sitting on top of him.
The older boy enjoyed doodling weird circles and sketches on his self made grave. The younger one enjoyed watching. Kazuya only got tan on a few parts of his body. It turned his plan of becoming a healthy charming boy up-side-down and he had to admit that he felt a little bit of jealousy inside seeing Jin's brownie skin that only made his white teeth glow brighter. It dazzled his eyes.
"Shut the fuck up! You're beautiful!" Jin said.
Kazuya should not feel that happy inside by a word that wasn't reserved for boys, yet he still smiled brightly just because of it.
Goya tasted bitter. Benimo tasted sweet. White python was slickly scary but impressive indeed.
***
Fall came when the maples and ginkgo leaves started changing their dresses in the color scheme from vivid yellow to ruby and vermilion.
In the total opposite of the lively noisy summer, aside from chasing away the sultry heat with its cool breeze, Fall also brought along tranquility to the atmosphere around. The crackling sounds of dry, falling leaves echoing under every footstep didn't seem to mind the Daibutsu from his 300 years long of meditation, of acceptance, patience and forgiveness.
Kazuya kind of expected Jin's yawn of boredom or even his enthusiastic yell when finding anything anyone more interesting; something that was so typical Jin, something that could destroy the serene mood. Much to his surprise, Jin looked like a sage bird being mesmerized by the peaceful settings of the place. He left Jin wandering freely with his mind while being face to face with the giant Buddha and went inside to pray instead. When he returned, Jin was playing with the floating leave on the lake outside the temple. Tossing and turning, the lone leaf remained on the water surface like an unsinkable ship.
Kazuya wondered if their future was reflected through that glassy liquid and Jin was reading it from there, like spreading circles of waving water all started from a center to an unending domino effect outer space. As he sat down on the lawn and stared dumbfound at the water surface, Jin looked up at him and smiled.
"I love your hair." Jin said. His hand combed through Kazuya's ruffle bangs to brush off the yellow leaf left in oblivion there.
Kazuya felt the setting sunlight warming up his high cheekbones.
This was unfair! It was what Kazuya had always wanted to say first!
***
Heavy raindrops that were pouring down harder onto the cement pavement made them fasten their footsteps.
Winter in LA was nothing but a naughty bitch, sour and scornful. Just an hour ago, Kazuya had still been happily surfing on the mid December beach, shrieking like a child and now the sudden rain pulled along the temperature down several Fahrenheit degrees in a blink of an eye. It froze them up with chilly breezes that kind of reminded them of a winter season they had been in albeit the sunny warmth in the afternoon just hours ago. His hair, still wet from the previous outdoor session, now with an unwelcome rain added up, it was only getting worse, damp, sticky and just cold.
"Are you ok?"
"Yup. I'm … achoo… fine." Kazuya sniffed, replying shyly. The sudden sneeze had betrayed him shamelessly but he did feel fine nevertheless.
Jin laughed and patted on his head, signaling that he understood and Kazuya should not try too hard to mask his feeling just because Jin had known him too well to not notice it.
"I'm fine really!" The younger pouted, trying to protest. His voice sounded weak in the wind and got drowned in the city's horns during heavy rush hour. It was not the best choice to walk under the rain in winter, but it might help them to get back to the hotel sooner than waiting in line inside a random cab and feeling their heartbeat jolt at the amount of money they would have to pay later on.
He didn't mind walking, actually. If only the surfboard wasn't this bulky and that he had brought a coat to warm him up or this weather had been nicer to him, then he wouldn't have minded, really. Even if Jin looked so cozy, so comfortable, so enjoyable even in this kind of situation, he wouldn't...
Well, he did feel envious a bit, being a grumpy tramp next to the cheerful leader. But this couldn't be helped.
He side-glanced Jin and his stare lingered there long enough to make Jin snicker.
"You can just ask you know?" Jin poked him playfully on the shoulder, suggestively.
Kazuya frowned. "Ask what?" He really had no idea about this sudden question. But Jin soon cleared up his query by taking off his own coat to wrap onto Kazuya's slim body. The action rendered the younger one speechless. This was what he needed, but his conscious told him that it was not what he really wanted. Their health compared, Jin was always the one who easily got sick, not him. That was why Jin was always careful and well-prepared going outside, unlike him, who had been the one that kept insisting on surfing earlier this morning.
Jin pinched his nose. "Don't even say no, ok?" Like he didn't need Kazuya to really voice it out to understand what kind of mess had been twirling inside the younger's head.
This was something so unfair too. How could Jin know him that well while sometimes the older one was like a living walking question mark to him?
"I'll have this." Jin said and grabbed the surfboard from Kazuya's hands with a wink regardless the latter's scowling protest. Being the taller one, Jin had his rights to hold the board high above their heads to make a better cover. Instead of wasting time suffering more under the rain, with a sigh, Kazuya followed Jin's lead. They ran all the way back to the hotel without any more words exchanged, only Jin's cheerful laughter echoing still on the roads they had just passed.
---
Hair wet, Jin sprawled on the bed the first thing after entering the room. He only struggled to wake up when Kazuya finished bathing himself in warm water and came out with hot coffee served right on spot. Smoke spiraled up in curls, spreading the addicting scent of expresso through the space. Jin's chest rose and fell regularly in rhythm, too peaceful Kazuya wanted to choke him with the white fluffy pillow just to see him struggle.
He did, and failed badly as he ended up being the one who got pinned to the mattress, being tickled until begging a desperate defeat out loud.
---
They rented a car.
Driving all the way from LA to arrive to New York right on Xmas day was the plan. Just because Jin had this fixed obsession with LA, and Kazuya with snow and luxury big Xmas Tree for that particular special day of the year, they ended up in this journey connecting two parts of the States together. Obviously it would be easier and faster if they chose airplane as the transportation, but they were both too excited to start the venture as they were now having all of the time in the world to do so.
Kazuya took the wheels and followed the direction displayed on their GPS device. Sitting beside him, Jin took the responsibility to be the DJ in charge. His head bobbed up and down to the beat. Sometimes he sang along the strange foreign lyrics that sounded funny to Kazuya's ears. Sometimes he played a good part in distracting Kazuya's attention from driving by pointing to lovely scenarios along the road. It was a beautiful dawn when they left LA until everything got colder and the road was engulfed in a thick white blanket of the snow.
They rested whenever they wanted; got on board if they felt like it. Whenever Kazuya looked at his right hand side, he was always welcomed by Jin's cheerful smile to bright up the whole endless route.
It was always so fun to have Jin as a fellow-passenger. With him by his side, time was nothing but a meaningful treasure they wished to make good use of to the fullest.
***
Rockefeller Center is as legendary as it's known. By some miracle bless, he gets here right on time to cherish the Holy Night following his long time childhood wish.
New York, the city that never sleeps, has only lived brighter when midnight drew near. Albeit having a whole district well reserved for theaters and cinemas, the outdoor view is a colorful stage play itself with giant billboards and big flat TV screens for commercials or the biggest trending stars of the month. Street artists and amateur orchestras are always there to indulge the atmosphere with nostalgic Christmas songs filled in the air. Being in New York is like being emerged into an ocean where one individual is only a tiny grain of sand from the sea bottom. It is where talents are born, struggling to grow up and rise above. The place that makes big dreams come true as long as one dares to make it really happen.
It feels so nice to be mingled with the crowd on this special day. Most of the pedestrians are spending their time with the one they love. Be it in couple or family, Christmas means gathering, happiness and fortune bless. Even though this is his first time in a strange city of a faraway country, he's not even scared of being lost. As long as his hand still holds on tight to that warm opening hand, as long as the bright orange head with a cheerful smile can bright up the cold winter night, he doesn't feel lonely.
---
Rockefeller Christmas tree rises imposingly above right in front of his eyes. Not on the pages of a magazine nor through the tiny TV screen anymore, it's there, just being there with golden sparkling balls, lightening bulbs and an amount of decoration in different forms. He's seeing it, touching it, hearing it.
"Santa Clause is coming to town." So the song says.
A part of his childhood dream is displayed there, makes it more and more real, finished and accomplished. He feels so happy even though there's no snow to make a white Christmas like how it was being showed in the movies he watched but he's happy.
The clock ticks. The countdown starts. An outburst of cheers resounds along the jingle bell rings. Everyone is shouting, hugging, kissing. He turns to his right hand side with the widest grin he has ever had in his life but the place is empty. The boy with that usual goofy smile has faded to thin air and he's here, all alone in this place he once claimed they would go together someday in the future.
Just because Jin forever stays a boy with orange hair and a gap between his big front teeth while Kazuya has no longer been the bushy eyebrows boy whose short hair spread like nails in different directions anymore.
Suddenly his empty hand felt so cold. The numb feeling spreads but he tries hard to get a tight hold of the picture inside his grasp, a picture of the luxurious Rockefeller Christmas tree shining brightly in the year of 2006.
Silver raindrops from the sky transform into fragile snowflakes way before they have had the chance to land on the ground. They fall on Kazuya's cheeks.
And there they melt.
***
Up on the pedestrian bridge he's standing, eyes gazing towards the direction of what used to be a cozy house with rooftop painted red.
The house is no longer there.
---
He returns to Japan right on time when Sakura buds are blooming on the stunted branches. After a long time dipping in freezing snow, now they are all waiting for the warm breeze to come and kiss open their silky pinkish petals. Spring is in the air. Spring is everywhere.
There used to be a narrow drain under the bridge. It made a nice little river during the rainy season. But it looked the best in winter when snow filled up the space and made a glassy road for them to ski on. It was their normal playground where thousands of small little games were thought of. It was their fortress, their border for a snow ball fight. It was where their snowmen stood. It was everything but a normal nameless drain.
Kazuya loved it best when it started thawing. Water melt from the remaining snow, left the place to flow all the way to the big ocean. That was when new lives began as they found Snow Drop flowers blooming white in the place, heralding the end of winter.
There's nothing but ground and soil now under the bridge, but hiding somewhere among the traces of melting ice, he still manages to find the sight of that wonderful white fragile Snow Drop blooming leisurely, tardily, steadily. Even if four seasons turn in circumvolution, alternates one another under the magical power of time that goes beyond human's wish, even if time changes everything, there's also something that cannot even be erased. Not when we have managed to carve it deep inside our hearts and minds.
***
Jin's family moved out in a time when Sakura trees started pouring down pinkish petals rain. Like a naughty lady, every time the wind came by for a visit, she picked a handful of sakura petals to embellish her long silky hair, just to ruthlessly throw them away after getting bored, and find new substitute in another place.
It was one beautiful sunset when Kazuya and Jin were sitting under a cherry tree eating their ice-cream mixed up with fallen petals from the sky and the sudden news was dropped.
"We're moving." Jin said calmly and leant over to snatch the spoon from Kazuya's hold to dig in the ice-cream box. It was his turn now.
Eyes rounded, the younger boy didn't really know how to react. Strawberry flavor melt on the tip of his tongue but it didn't taste as sweet anymore.
"To where?" Kazuya asked. "And why?"
"Don't know." Jin shrugged. He went to the second scoop since Kazuya was busy being astonished with what he had just heard. "Dad said it was something work related, and that we would move a lot from now on. Starting from Okinawa first, after that, don't know." He shrugged again, mostly because of the frostbite effect from eating cold ice-cream in windy afternoon.
"Okinawa huh…" Kazuya paused to think for awhile. "There's the sea in Okinawa..."
He saw it on the poster glued on the 24h konbini downtown, a flyer of the annual summer firework festival. It was beautiful.
"Un." Jin confirmed it for him. "The best beach ever, lots of food and sea activities too."
It made Kazuya immediately think of the salty scent emerged in the wind, and the feeling of sand rubbing on his feet.
"How I want to go there too." He pouted. "You're so lucky."
"Un." Jin nodded again, still focused on eating from the ice-cream box which he had somehow snatched off from the younger's lap. He did feel lucky indeed, because Kazuya had completely forgotten his turn and let Jin finish up the whole box without complaining.
---
On the day Jin left, they stood side by side to look at the adults busy loading the packages onto the trucks and saying goodbye to each other. It was like a scene in a movie they had watched before while none of them felt like being involved in it themselves.
Jin's stuff had already been packed in some of those boxes, his clothes, workbooks, toys, mangas, et cetera. He left Kazuya his all time favourite "One Piece" though and in return, he had Kazuya's treasure camera.
"Take me pictures of every place you go! See the world on behalf of me! Some days I will go there too!" The younger said with voice full of determination.
It recalled their childhood dream of conquering the world, of their small little venture together, of the time when Jin said he wanted to be Zoro and Kazuya said he would be Jin's Luffy - the straw hat captain then, not to be the leader, but to be by Jin's side as he had never thought of the day when the two of them could be separated.
"Un! And you, practice hard to be a baseball star, ok?" Jin elbowed Kazuya's bony ribs with a playful grin before becoming so serious while holding out his hand. "I'm Jin Akanishi, Jin Akanishi, don't you dare forget it!"
The younger one carefully held onto it for a firm handshake in return. "My name is Kamenashi Kazuya. It's Kamenashi Kazuya. Even if it's long and funny, please remember it correctly too!"
"Promise." Jin grinned widely, showing the gap between his big front teeth. His orange hair made a tousled nest under the wind, the sunshine among all pinkish rainy petals. It was something Kazuya would never forget.
"Promise." He replied with a smile.
Their pinkies linked. Their foreheads touched. Warm smiles were shared one last time before the trucks' wheels rolled. And Kazuya stood there waving madly until their silhouettes disappeared at the far turn where the sun went hiding at the far horizon.
***
If you feel sad, just think of me.
If you need a shoulder to cry on, just think of me.
But if you need me, please call out my name.
I'll be there for you.
---
He received a picture of sunny Okinawa beach with a huge starfish on the sand a few months later. After that, it was a glass filled up with green goya goo, then a white python curled around a big dried stump. Sender's address wasn't attached but Kazuya didn't need it to know that Jin had managed to keep his side of the promise.
Those lovely precious treasures, he kept them inside a wooden box hidden under his bed so that every night he could take a look at them and think of various stories from where they were taken. A self adventure, a bedtime story, these were all formed secretly inside his head. In which he was once again the elastic body boy, Luffy, who was sailing with his best friend Zoro. In the island where sunshine never faded, they had fought against the evil python to rescue the poor Starfish princess. Along the process they had to drink the yucky goya goo that made their tongues turn green just to become invisible to fight off the scary monster.
Sometimes it would be just him and Jin playing on the beach. Together they would build a fortress made of sand and perform a full show of mimic battle over it.
Sometimes they would just sprawl on the beach to watch sunset like they usually did on the pedestrian bridge, to listen to the sound of life moving all around.
Just because being with Jin felt natural that way, Kazuya never felt lonely. Even if his teammates didn't ask him to go practice together with them, just because "Kame is talented enough for it already", he still had fun playing throw and catch with the wall in the garden for Jin would be there at the other side, smiling with him tenderly like he always did.
---
Spring passed. Summer slipped by. Fall came.
Jin seemed to go to a lot of places. His pictures for the Fall were full of maple and ginkgo leaves carpeting the deserted road. Sender's address was again never attached but Kazuya was too busy to even care about that.
He also had a promise on his side to make it come true, a promise to be a baseball star. It was not an easy road but steadily, he believed he was stepping on the right path. Three years in high school and the dream to make it to Koshien was burning, not only to satisfy his pride but also to open the wide door to the professional world, to famous colleges' entrance with full course scholarships in hands. In one of the training camps, he even made it to Guam with the team, the first time ever for him to get on a long trip, even longer than the little adventure they had made during their foolish childhood and he believed, if he rose high enough, he could see the world with the bat and the gloves he owned.
Guam's sunny beach was beautiful. Sand was so warm and ticklish on his bare feet. Sweat was shed and laughter resounded. He still couldn't help but think of Okinawa in the brightest summer all over again.
Back home with healthy tan built up on his skin, on the daily routine of morning exercise path, he seemed to hear another pair of running footsteps chasing him from behind. They pushed him up, encouraged him to run faster, faster and faster, to use up all the air in his lungs, to let his heartbeat race, to try his best and with that he could do anything.
Falling leaves piled up on the road, created crackling little sounds when being stepped upon. He let his memories pile up in the wooden box hidden under the bed, fall into oblivion.
---
If talent was a gift given from God, it could be easily taken away too.
The wings on his legs that had been built up from hard working and great effort, were now burnt down with physical pain and mental damages way before they even let him soar high and low.
A picture of Rockefeller Christmas tree reached his doorstep on the day he got back from the hospital.
Kazuya never felt like hating winter like this in his whole lifetime.
---
In his dream the accident replayed itself all over again.
Last inning, he had made it to Koshien. He had made it to the semifinal. He would have made it to the final list even, since his team was only one step away from winning the game. If only there hadn't been that disastrous ball purposely targeted at his knee. They wanted to make sure that he wouldn't be able to run again, wouldn't be able to pitch again. They wanted to make sure that his world would stumble and fall into small, broken pieces.
He woke up covered in fear and sweat, feeling more lost than ever.
---
Just because Kazuya hated losing, no matter what the doctors had stated on the inanimate paper, he could prove otherwise.
The strenuous rehabilitation took time. Whenever he felt like giving up, there would be a pat on his shoulder, a face hidden behind a smiley mask drawn on paper, an encouraging "You are good enough. Believe it!"
Therefore he never gave up trying.
From a diagnosed handicapped, he could finally leave the wheelchair to stand up on his own feet again. He could run again, could dream to be back to the field once again. But life didn't pamper anyone in roses and sweets. When he came back, Yuuya had already risen as a shining star in the empty place he'd left behind after all these years. A once of a lifetime chance, if he failed to catch it, he would lose it. It was just a matter of fact.
Once again he was left empty handed, lonelier than ever. The flow of anonymous pictures had also stopped when he reached twenty four. He wondered if he was still remembered in the other's mind. Time passed; it erased everything, even the nicest memories and a promise made in times of lovely childhood. Since there was no sender's address included in the mails, he really didn't know what to do with them other than absorbing the pain and clutching on the tight knots on his heart all by himself.
***
"So you're ready?" Yuichiro asks.
He has never been readier than this. With a nod, he smiles.
There's nothing but beautiful landscape pictures piled up in a wooden box as his luggage. Those beautiful memories he has been keeping so deep inside now only have the chance to be displayed in the vivid sunlight of a brand new start.
He does have a promise to fulfill. He's going to see the world, if only the world is still there waiting for him.
---
Up on this bridge, I am gazing in the direction of your house
Even if there's nothing to see,
I'm feeling happy and hurting and regretting
Even if the future we imagined is changing just like the scenery of this town
It's alright...
My dreams in my right hand, offering you the luxury around the world in the left one
Other than these two things, I wished nothing else
Yet since when my hands got full
I only gave my best in fulfilling my dreams
That's why, next time my hands get full, I will reach out to you because I wish to see you smile
***
Despite being the isolate island in the North, summer in Hokkaido is the greatest thing he has ever experienced. Lavender fields look like a carpet of blossoms woven into patchwork on the rolling hills, an unbound refreshing purple mixed up with bright vivid colors alternating to no end.
"Are you a tourist?" A voice from behind makes Kazuya turn back.
The man on the lavender field has his long black hair tousled in the wind, sharp brows, bright eyes and the warmest smile in the world.
Kazuya smiles in return. "Un. And you? A photographer?" He speaks as he points to the camera in the man's hands, a digital one, simple and black. "I thought this model is quite old fashioned already."
The man follows his look towards the said object and breaks out a grin. "You're right. I like it because it's quite special."
"And how special is it?" Kazuya asks.
"Present from a friend." The man shrugs. "He somehow literally pushed it into my hands and gave me orders."
"Orders?"
"Yes. As in commands. Go and see the world on behalf of me! That's what he said."
The man gazes at him directly and Kazuya suddenly forgets how to breathe. The gap between the big front teeth is no longer there, the orange hair is no longer there but he still resembles the shining sun of Hokkaido in a bright summer day, right on this purple lavender field.
"We also run a hostel down the road." The man says again after the long pause. "If you've just come and have no place to go yet… You know… Anyway, I'm Jin. Jin Akanishi. Don't even dare to forget it!" He holds out his hand. Tone stresses long on his given name suggestively. It's been such a long time for Kazuya to hear that familiar sound again.
The younger catches his hand mildly, "I'm Kamenashi Kazuya. It's Kamenashi Kazuya. Even if it sounds so long and funny, please do remember it correctly!", and feels water waving in his eyes.
---
Up on this bridge, there's a feeling between us like
We have seen the same moonlight
Remembering, feeling pained, becoming stronger
Dreams don't stop here, if just the scenery of this town is changing
It's alright…
---
"And here I thought you had long forgotten me."
"While I'm here wondering if you would ever come in the first place?"
.THE END
Author: sheenalinh
Pairing: Akame
Word count: 6577
Rating: PG
Warnings: imaginary friend, messy timeline, confusing in certain levels
Notes: My grateful dedication to M, without her, this fic may not even exist.
Goya: every of Akame fangirl must know about this famous episode of them in Okinawa already, thus knowing this famous fruit :'3
Benimo: a sweet purple potato, famous in Okinawa, Japan
Daibutsu: "Great Buddha", a monumental outdoor bronze statue of Amida Buddha which is one of the most famous icons of Japan.
Lyrics' credit of Hodoukyou goes to fighter_of_moon I'm sorry for not being able to ask for your permission beforehand.
I haven't been to any of the places stated in this fic, therefore if there are any mistakes, please do accept my sincere apology m(_ _)m
Deary beta, you are my everything ♥ To juniority, I hope you like it
Summary: The you of yesterday lives in me
He tears the last remaining poster on the wall down and rolls it up before putting it in a round case holder. It leaves a stark contrast of color where the untouched part of the wall meets up with its duller one, the part that has been laid bare facing the flow of time and dust. Somehow it holds his gaze a tad longer than he expected. His fingers come touching the rough painted wall and linger there. Only at a moment like this does he realize the length of time he has spent here in the house. It brings back memories too, and a nostalgic feeling that ties a knot in his heart, a feeling which makes one hard to leave.
"Are you ready?"
Yuichiro's voice from behind is somehow successful in pulling him back to reality. Briefly closing his eyes, he says goodbye to the house one last time before turning back and nodding a confirmation to his older brother with a tender smile.
The scene of an empty house is so familiar to him. It's just like years ago when he had first moved in and filled up the place with his own belongings, leaving traces of his life inside a place he used to call home. At the end, everything will just turn back to another new beginning.
And he feels himself twenty years old again facing the locked closed door.
---
"So you packed everything?" Yuichiro asks again and he nods.
There may be too much space for the silence that's weighing down the atmosphere. He pats on his brother's shoulder lightly, reassuringly. "I have all I need. Thank you for lending me your hands."
"Don't be silly! How can I say no to my little brother? And it's Sunday anyway, I have no work as a back-up reason." Yuichiro grins at the last line and he laughs. The sound tinkles in the air like small little chimes. It surely helps ease up the tension.
He knows there is something more that Yuichiro wants to ask him about, and he also knows that it's not the same repetition of "Are you crazy?" or "Have you lost your mind?" They have worked it out nicely, or at least, his whole family has no more interest to interfere in his life. And he feels grateful just because of that.
"I'll drop you back at home." He says. "I also have something to give to Yuki too."
Yes, Yuki, his tiny little nephew, a resemblance of his own toddler self, with single lidded clear round eyes and bushy eyebrows, will surely love the baseball kit he gives. Yuki might grow up becoming a professional baseball like his uncle Yuuya one day, or might choose a totally different path no one would ever know. Either of that, he knows that he will seriously miss him, miss pinching his chubby cheeks and dressing him like a little iconic fashionista.
"Are you sure?" Yuichiro asks.
Sure to spend two hours just to drop him home? Sure to meet Yuki? Sure to give away his precious thing a professional baseball player had specially given to him? Sure to … leave?
He would surely say yes to all of the questions. But since Yuichiro leaves them hanging, he leaves them unanswered then.
It feels nice that way, just to go away.
---
The road is spreading. There may be barricades, left turns or right turns but it will never end. With one stop passed by, another direction opens. It keeps on to no end.
---
If there's a beginning for everything, then he knows for sure where the place he wants to make a start at is.
It's been so long yet it feels just like yesterday. He wanders aimlessly on the pedestrian bridge, step by step, bit by bit. One foot tries to fit neatly onto the square cement brick. The cool metal feels smooth under his palms as he slides along the handrail.
There's nothing but ground and soil under the bridge but at the two sides spreads the greenest lawn. He can hear in the air the chirping sounds of myriads of flying birds. The scent of earth after the rain has never been less sweet than what he can recall inside his memory.
***
Playing hide and seek under the rows of trees, the house had its rooftop painted red. It glowed hotter than the setting sun.
Banging the door wide open, Jin jumped down the three-step staircase and paused there to regain his breath. It only took him one hour and a half to wash himself, have dinner, do homework and change clothes which was not in that practical order by the way, but when he managed to leave the house, Kazuya had been standing there waiting for him for a while already. And yet here Jin thought he had been fast enough.
Well, chillax! Jin gained back his composure and just sent Kazuya a glance with his face held high before stepping up to lead the way.
"Hurry up Kame! Don't be so slow and fall back behind me ok?"
The younger boy showed no reaction. He was Kamenashi anyway and there was no other meaning in his last name though sometimes he knew Jin liked to use it in a mocking tone when he wanted to make fun of him. No big deal! Really…
They crossed the pedestrian bridge with Jin walking in a straight line, feet trying best to fit into the small square cement brick. The older boy believed that if he could make it straight and fit all the way to the other side, his wish of the day would come true. It took him great effort not to slip and fail while maintaining the lollipop in his mouth from falling down. Jin didn't always succeed since he liked to turn back to steal a glance at Kazuya from time to time, to know if the younger boy had followed his way of walking or not. And when he failed, Jin walked the rest of the way crossing the pedestrian bridge while banging a branch repetitively onto the metal handrail to let that annoying noise it made express how very annoyed he felt inside. Unexpectedly, it sounded nice to Kazuya's ears, but he never said it out loud.
---
At night, they sat down on the cement base and let their legs swinging freely in the air. Underneath the crystal starry sky, wrapping up in the singing sounds of summer crickets, they let their childhood dream flap its wings to fly high and low.
Jin wished to be a famous soccer player; Kazuya, a baseball star. It was an ambition he had adopted from his father, the one who dreamed to be successful in the sport he loved so much but sadly had had no chance in his whole lifetime to make it come true. One thing for sure, Kazuya didn't hate baseball. He figured out that it could be love then, thus he didn't mind carrying it on his shoulders, letting it enhance his strength to move on and try his best.
They both loved travelling though. In their long, endless wish list, they included also the dream to go discover the whole wide world. As long as the road kept on spreading, they would keep on going.
"With our own hands and feet." Jin said. "To see the real things! To touch the real things! Not just only watch things on TV anymore!"
"Un!" Kazuya nodded with determination, and added, "To eat all of the special dishes of that region too!" just because it was the thing Jin would love to do as he had been repeating it over and over again.
They hadn't quite figured out how to make it come true at that time yet but it was so crystal clear that they swore they could almost see the other side of the ocean looming in the far horizon.
---
Once, they attempted to fulfill their dream. And succeeded, almost.
There was a train station in the area. It was only a small stop for freight trains to come by for loading. It wouldn't go far but it was thrilling nevertheless.
Their petite bodies helped them hide easier behind the different forms of giant boxes and packages that were even bigger than both of them combined. No one had ever found out even after they had successfully climbed up one of the cars. It was crazy but there should be no word to describe the feeling they had had when the car started gliding on its rails. Like bubbles of excitement, they let them burst. Their yoohoo sounds emerged with the wind and dissolved in the stamping noises of metals on metals, a sound of rebellion, of freedom, of dare, of something unique in the age when puberty reached.
Jin's long hair tousled. Its corn silk color was getting more orange under the summer sun. Kazuya thought that it was beautiful compared to his short one with strands spreading up like nails in different directions. Jin flashed him a playful smile showing the gap between his big front teeth and Kazuya smiled back.
It was all Jin's idea and it was so fun.
They slightly opened the sliding door to look at the view outside. Flower fields and lawns alternated with housing landscapes along the roadside. There were a lot more places that their pedals hadn't reached yet. They wished to see more.
That little journey ended around a few hours later when the train officer discovered them sleeping like curling cats inside the car. Jin's back leant on a big carton for support, Kazuya's back on Jin. They were sent back home from another reverse train, free tickets of course, because he didn't wish to have stray cats on board. It only took them to two prefectures away yet it felt quite like a big journey for both of them nevertheless. Jin was too hungry at that time to even want to go for more. Kazuya was a little tired and the waking up without Jin's heat from behind somehow clouded his mind a bit; he went back floating like a sleepwalker.
It was still so fun and pride-filling whenever they thought back about that. At least they had something to boast about at school after the summer ended. The untold story behind the scene was that Jin had finally found himself sexy in the soccer short uniform as his butt was not flat anymore but swollen after receiving some whips from his angry mother. It didn't last longer than three days though.
That was the best summer Kazuya had ever had in his whole lifetime.
***
Summer in Okinawa was also very nice and full of pleasure. Well, if only it lacked the insane heat and the humidity or even rain or heavy storms that came without advance notice. There was this heaven of clear blue sky and silver waves on deep blue ocean awaiting for them.
Kazuya loved coconut milk, and the feeling of sand roughly touching his bare skin. Be it dry or wet, he still loved that scrubbing scratching in various tiny forms. He built himself a small hole to bury his bare feet while sipping down his favorite tropical juice and bathing under the sunlight. Jin built Kazuya a grave that only allowed his head, hands and feet to stick out on the ground.
"A shell for Kame!" Jin proclaimed proudly. His grin got wider.
The glory sun was above Jin's orange head, or simply that he was just glowing on his own. Kazuya's eyes narrowed to adjust with the sudden bright and laughed genuinely albeit the fact that Jin mistook a big belly with a shell on the back and that Jin was hella heavy sitting on top of him.
The older boy enjoyed doodling weird circles and sketches on his self made grave. The younger one enjoyed watching. Kazuya only got tan on a few parts of his body. It turned his plan of becoming a healthy charming boy up-side-down and he had to admit that he felt a little bit of jealousy inside seeing Jin's brownie skin that only made his white teeth glow brighter. It dazzled his eyes.
"Shut the fuck up! You're beautiful!" Jin said.
Kazuya should not feel that happy inside by a word that wasn't reserved for boys, yet he still smiled brightly just because of it.
Goya tasted bitter. Benimo tasted sweet. White python was slickly scary but impressive indeed.
***
Fall came when the maples and ginkgo leaves started changing their dresses in the color scheme from vivid yellow to ruby and vermilion.
In the total opposite of the lively noisy summer, aside from chasing away the sultry heat with its cool breeze, Fall also brought along tranquility to the atmosphere around. The crackling sounds of dry, falling leaves echoing under every footstep didn't seem to mind the Daibutsu from his 300 years long of meditation, of acceptance, patience and forgiveness.
Kazuya kind of expected Jin's yawn of boredom or even his enthusiastic yell when finding anything anyone more interesting; something that was so typical Jin, something that could destroy the serene mood. Much to his surprise, Jin looked like a sage bird being mesmerized by the peaceful settings of the place. He left Jin wandering freely with his mind while being face to face with the giant Buddha and went inside to pray instead. When he returned, Jin was playing with the floating leave on the lake outside the temple. Tossing and turning, the lone leaf remained on the water surface like an unsinkable ship.
Kazuya wondered if their future was reflected through that glassy liquid and Jin was reading it from there, like spreading circles of waving water all started from a center to an unending domino effect outer space. As he sat down on the lawn and stared dumbfound at the water surface, Jin looked up at him and smiled.
"I love your hair." Jin said. His hand combed through Kazuya's ruffle bangs to brush off the yellow leaf left in oblivion there.
Kazuya felt the setting sunlight warming up his high cheekbones.
This was unfair! It was what Kazuya had always wanted to say first!
***
Heavy raindrops that were pouring down harder onto the cement pavement made them fasten their footsteps.
Winter in LA was nothing but a naughty bitch, sour and scornful. Just an hour ago, Kazuya had still been happily surfing on the mid December beach, shrieking like a child and now the sudden rain pulled along the temperature down several Fahrenheit degrees in a blink of an eye. It froze them up with chilly breezes that kind of reminded them of a winter season they had been in albeit the sunny warmth in the afternoon just hours ago. His hair, still wet from the previous outdoor session, now with an unwelcome rain added up, it was only getting worse, damp, sticky and just cold.
"Are you ok?"
"Yup. I'm … achoo… fine." Kazuya sniffed, replying shyly. The sudden sneeze had betrayed him shamelessly but he did feel fine nevertheless.
Jin laughed and patted on his head, signaling that he understood and Kazuya should not try too hard to mask his feeling just because Jin had known him too well to not notice it.
"I'm fine really!" The younger pouted, trying to protest. His voice sounded weak in the wind and got drowned in the city's horns during heavy rush hour. It was not the best choice to walk under the rain in winter, but it might help them to get back to the hotel sooner than waiting in line inside a random cab and feeling their heartbeat jolt at the amount of money they would have to pay later on.
He didn't mind walking, actually. If only the surfboard wasn't this bulky and that he had brought a coat to warm him up or this weather had been nicer to him, then he wouldn't have minded, really. Even if Jin looked so cozy, so comfortable, so enjoyable even in this kind of situation, he wouldn't...
Well, he did feel envious a bit, being a grumpy tramp next to the cheerful leader. But this couldn't be helped.
He side-glanced Jin and his stare lingered there long enough to make Jin snicker.
"You can just ask you know?" Jin poked him playfully on the shoulder, suggestively.
Kazuya frowned. "Ask what?" He really had no idea about this sudden question. But Jin soon cleared up his query by taking off his own coat to wrap onto Kazuya's slim body. The action rendered the younger one speechless. This was what he needed, but his conscious told him that it was not what he really wanted. Their health compared, Jin was always the one who easily got sick, not him. That was why Jin was always careful and well-prepared going outside, unlike him, who had been the one that kept insisting on surfing earlier this morning.
Jin pinched his nose. "Don't even say no, ok?" Like he didn't need Kazuya to really voice it out to understand what kind of mess had been twirling inside the younger's head.
This was something so unfair too. How could Jin know him that well while sometimes the older one was like a living walking question mark to him?
"I'll have this." Jin said and grabbed the surfboard from Kazuya's hands with a wink regardless the latter's scowling protest. Being the taller one, Jin had his rights to hold the board high above their heads to make a better cover. Instead of wasting time suffering more under the rain, with a sigh, Kazuya followed Jin's lead. They ran all the way back to the hotel without any more words exchanged, only Jin's cheerful laughter echoing still on the roads they had just passed.
---
Hair wet, Jin sprawled on the bed the first thing after entering the room. He only struggled to wake up when Kazuya finished bathing himself in warm water and came out with hot coffee served right on spot. Smoke spiraled up in curls, spreading the addicting scent of expresso through the space. Jin's chest rose and fell regularly in rhythm, too peaceful Kazuya wanted to choke him with the white fluffy pillow just to see him struggle.
He did, and failed badly as he ended up being the one who got pinned to the mattress, being tickled until begging a desperate defeat out loud.
---
They rented a car.
Driving all the way from LA to arrive to New York right on Xmas day was the plan. Just because Jin had this fixed obsession with LA, and Kazuya with snow and luxury big Xmas Tree for that particular special day of the year, they ended up in this journey connecting two parts of the States together. Obviously it would be easier and faster if they chose airplane as the transportation, but they were both too excited to start the venture as they were now having all of the time in the world to do so.
Kazuya took the wheels and followed the direction displayed on their GPS device. Sitting beside him, Jin took the responsibility to be the DJ in charge. His head bobbed up and down to the beat. Sometimes he sang along the strange foreign lyrics that sounded funny to Kazuya's ears. Sometimes he played a good part in distracting Kazuya's attention from driving by pointing to lovely scenarios along the road. It was a beautiful dawn when they left LA until everything got colder and the road was engulfed in a thick white blanket of the snow.
They rested whenever they wanted; got on board if they felt like it. Whenever Kazuya looked at his right hand side, he was always welcomed by Jin's cheerful smile to bright up the whole endless route.
It was always so fun to have Jin as a fellow-passenger. With him by his side, time was nothing but a meaningful treasure they wished to make good use of to the fullest.
***
Rockefeller Center is as legendary as it's known. By some miracle bless, he gets here right on time to cherish the Holy Night following his long time childhood wish.
New York, the city that never sleeps, has only lived brighter when midnight drew near. Albeit having a whole district well reserved for theaters and cinemas, the outdoor view is a colorful stage play itself with giant billboards and big flat TV screens for commercials or the biggest trending stars of the month. Street artists and amateur orchestras are always there to indulge the atmosphere with nostalgic Christmas songs filled in the air. Being in New York is like being emerged into an ocean where one individual is only a tiny grain of sand from the sea bottom. It is where talents are born, struggling to grow up and rise above. The place that makes big dreams come true as long as one dares to make it really happen.
It feels so nice to be mingled with the crowd on this special day. Most of the pedestrians are spending their time with the one they love. Be it in couple or family, Christmas means gathering, happiness and fortune bless. Even though this is his first time in a strange city of a faraway country, he's not even scared of being lost. As long as his hand still holds on tight to that warm opening hand, as long as the bright orange head with a cheerful smile can bright up the cold winter night, he doesn't feel lonely.
---
Rockefeller Christmas tree rises imposingly above right in front of his eyes. Not on the pages of a magazine nor through the tiny TV screen anymore, it's there, just being there with golden sparkling balls, lightening bulbs and an amount of decoration in different forms. He's seeing it, touching it, hearing it.
"Santa Clause is coming to town." So the song says.
A part of his childhood dream is displayed there, makes it more and more real, finished and accomplished. He feels so happy even though there's no snow to make a white Christmas like how it was being showed in the movies he watched but he's happy.
The clock ticks. The countdown starts. An outburst of cheers resounds along the jingle bell rings. Everyone is shouting, hugging, kissing. He turns to his right hand side with the widest grin he has ever had in his life but the place is empty. The boy with that usual goofy smile has faded to thin air and he's here, all alone in this place he once claimed they would go together someday in the future.
Just because Jin forever stays a boy with orange hair and a gap between his big front teeth while Kazuya has no longer been the bushy eyebrows boy whose short hair spread like nails in different directions anymore.
Suddenly his empty hand felt so cold. The numb feeling spreads but he tries hard to get a tight hold of the picture inside his grasp, a picture of the luxurious Rockefeller Christmas tree shining brightly in the year of 2006.
Silver raindrops from the sky transform into fragile snowflakes way before they have had the chance to land on the ground. They fall on Kazuya's cheeks.
And there they melt.
***
Up on the pedestrian bridge he's standing, eyes gazing towards the direction of what used to be a cozy house with rooftop painted red.
The house is no longer there.
---
He returns to Japan right on time when Sakura buds are blooming on the stunted branches. After a long time dipping in freezing snow, now they are all waiting for the warm breeze to come and kiss open their silky pinkish petals. Spring is in the air. Spring is everywhere.
There used to be a narrow drain under the bridge. It made a nice little river during the rainy season. But it looked the best in winter when snow filled up the space and made a glassy road for them to ski on. It was their normal playground where thousands of small little games were thought of. It was their fortress, their border for a snow ball fight. It was where their snowmen stood. It was everything but a normal nameless drain.
Kazuya loved it best when it started thawing. Water melt from the remaining snow, left the place to flow all the way to the big ocean. That was when new lives began as they found Snow Drop flowers blooming white in the place, heralding the end of winter.
There's nothing but ground and soil now under the bridge, but hiding somewhere among the traces of melting ice, he still manages to find the sight of that wonderful white fragile Snow Drop blooming leisurely, tardily, steadily. Even if four seasons turn in circumvolution, alternates one another under the magical power of time that goes beyond human's wish, even if time changes everything, there's also something that cannot even be erased. Not when we have managed to carve it deep inside our hearts and minds.
***
Jin's family moved out in a time when Sakura trees started pouring down pinkish petals rain. Like a naughty lady, every time the wind came by for a visit, she picked a handful of sakura petals to embellish her long silky hair, just to ruthlessly throw them away after getting bored, and find new substitute in another place.
It was one beautiful sunset when Kazuya and Jin were sitting under a cherry tree eating their ice-cream mixed up with fallen petals from the sky and the sudden news was dropped.
"We're moving." Jin said calmly and leant over to snatch the spoon from Kazuya's hold to dig in the ice-cream box. It was his turn now.
Eyes rounded, the younger boy didn't really know how to react. Strawberry flavor melt on the tip of his tongue but it didn't taste as sweet anymore.
"To where?" Kazuya asked. "And why?"
"Don't know." Jin shrugged. He went to the second scoop since Kazuya was busy being astonished with what he had just heard. "Dad said it was something work related, and that we would move a lot from now on. Starting from Okinawa first, after that, don't know." He shrugged again, mostly because of the frostbite effect from eating cold ice-cream in windy afternoon.
"Okinawa huh…" Kazuya paused to think for awhile. "There's the sea in Okinawa..."
He saw it on the poster glued on the 24h konbini downtown, a flyer of the annual summer firework festival. It was beautiful.
"Un." Jin confirmed it for him. "The best beach ever, lots of food and sea activities too."
It made Kazuya immediately think of the salty scent emerged in the wind, and the feeling of sand rubbing on his feet.
"How I want to go there too." He pouted. "You're so lucky."
"Un." Jin nodded again, still focused on eating from the ice-cream box which he had somehow snatched off from the younger's lap. He did feel lucky indeed, because Kazuya had completely forgotten his turn and let Jin finish up the whole box without complaining.
---
On the day Jin left, they stood side by side to look at the adults busy loading the packages onto the trucks and saying goodbye to each other. It was like a scene in a movie they had watched before while none of them felt like being involved in it themselves.
Jin's stuff had already been packed in some of those boxes, his clothes, workbooks, toys, mangas, et cetera. He left Kazuya his all time favourite "One Piece" though and in return, he had Kazuya's treasure camera.
"Take me pictures of every place you go! See the world on behalf of me! Some days I will go there too!" The younger said with voice full of determination.
It recalled their childhood dream of conquering the world, of their small little venture together, of the time when Jin said he wanted to be Zoro and Kazuya said he would be Jin's Luffy - the straw hat captain then, not to be the leader, but to be by Jin's side as he had never thought of the day when the two of them could be separated.
"Un! And you, practice hard to be a baseball star, ok?" Jin elbowed Kazuya's bony ribs with a playful grin before becoming so serious while holding out his hand. "I'm Jin Akanishi, Jin Akanishi, don't you dare forget it!"
The younger one carefully held onto it for a firm handshake in return. "My name is Kamenashi Kazuya. It's Kamenashi Kazuya. Even if it's long and funny, please remember it correctly too!"
"Promise." Jin grinned widely, showing the gap between his big front teeth. His orange hair made a tousled nest under the wind, the sunshine among all pinkish rainy petals. It was something Kazuya would never forget.
"Promise." He replied with a smile.
Their pinkies linked. Their foreheads touched. Warm smiles were shared one last time before the trucks' wheels rolled. And Kazuya stood there waving madly until their silhouettes disappeared at the far turn where the sun went hiding at the far horizon.
***
If you feel sad, just think of me.
If you need a shoulder to cry on, just think of me.
But if you need me, please call out my name.
I'll be there for you.
---
He received a picture of sunny Okinawa beach with a huge starfish on the sand a few months later. After that, it was a glass filled up with green goya goo, then a white python curled around a big dried stump. Sender's address wasn't attached but Kazuya didn't need it to know that Jin had managed to keep his side of the promise.
Those lovely precious treasures, he kept them inside a wooden box hidden under his bed so that every night he could take a look at them and think of various stories from where they were taken. A self adventure, a bedtime story, these were all formed secretly inside his head. In which he was once again the elastic body boy, Luffy, who was sailing with his best friend Zoro. In the island where sunshine never faded, they had fought against the evil python to rescue the poor Starfish princess. Along the process they had to drink the yucky goya goo that made their tongues turn green just to become invisible to fight off the scary monster.
Sometimes it would be just him and Jin playing on the beach. Together they would build a fortress made of sand and perform a full show of mimic battle over it.
Sometimes they would just sprawl on the beach to watch sunset like they usually did on the pedestrian bridge, to listen to the sound of life moving all around.
Just because being with Jin felt natural that way, Kazuya never felt lonely. Even if his teammates didn't ask him to go practice together with them, just because "Kame is talented enough for it already", he still had fun playing throw and catch with the wall in the garden for Jin would be there at the other side, smiling with him tenderly like he always did.
---
Spring passed. Summer slipped by. Fall came.
Jin seemed to go to a lot of places. His pictures for the Fall were full of maple and ginkgo leaves carpeting the deserted road. Sender's address was again never attached but Kazuya was too busy to even care about that.
He also had a promise on his side to make it come true, a promise to be a baseball star. It was not an easy road but steadily, he believed he was stepping on the right path. Three years in high school and the dream to make it to Koshien was burning, not only to satisfy his pride but also to open the wide door to the professional world, to famous colleges' entrance with full course scholarships in hands. In one of the training camps, he even made it to Guam with the team, the first time ever for him to get on a long trip, even longer than the little adventure they had made during their foolish childhood and he believed, if he rose high enough, he could see the world with the bat and the gloves he owned.
Guam's sunny beach was beautiful. Sand was so warm and ticklish on his bare feet. Sweat was shed and laughter resounded. He still couldn't help but think of Okinawa in the brightest summer all over again.
Back home with healthy tan built up on his skin, on the daily routine of morning exercise path, he seemed to hear another pair of running footsteps chasing him from behind. They pushed him up, encouraged him to run faster, faster and faster, to use up all the air in his lungs, to let his heartbeat race, to try his best and with that he could do anything.
Falling leaves piled up on the road, created crackling little sounds when being stepped upon. He let his memories pile up in the wooden box hidden under the bed, fall into oblivion.
---
If talent was a gift given from God, it could be easily taken away too.
The wings on his legs that had been built up from hard working and great effort, were now burnt down with physical pain and mental damages way before they even let him soar high and low.
A picture of Rockefeller Christmas tree reached his doorstep on the day he got back from the hospital.
Kazuya never felt like hating winter like this in his whole lifetime.
---
In his dream the accident replayed itself all over again.
Last inning, he had made it to Koshien. He had made it to the semifinal. He would have made it to the final list even, since his team was only one step away from winning the game. If only there hadn't been that disastrous ball purposely targeted at his knee. They wanted to make sure that he wouldn't be able to run again, wouldn't be able to pitch again. They wanted to make sure that his world would stumble and fall into small, broken pieces.
He woke up covered in fear and sweat, feeling more lost than ever.
---
Just because Kazuya hated losing, no matter what the doctors had stated on the inanimate paper, he could prove otherwise.
The strenuous rehabilitation took time. Whenever he felt like giving up, there would be a pat on his shoulder, a face hidden behind a smiley mask drawn on paper, an encouraging "You are good enough. Believe it!"
Therefore he never gave up trying.
From a diagnosed handicapped, he could finally leave the wheelchair to stand up on his own feet again. He could run again, could dream to be back to the field once again. But life didn't pamper anyone in roses and sweets. When he came back, Yuuya had already risen as a shining star in the empty place he'd left behind after all these years. A once of a lifetime chance, if he failed to catch it, he would lose it. It was just a matter of fact.
Once again he was left empty handed, lonelier than ever. The flow of anonymous pictures had also stopped when he reached twenty four. He wondered if he was still remembered in the other's mind. Time passed; it erased everything, even the nicest memories and a promise made in times of lovely childhood. Since there was no sender's address included in the mails, he really didn't know what to do with them other than absorbing the pain and clutching on the tight knots on his heart all by himself.
***
"So you're ready?" Yuichiro asks.
He has never been readier than this. With a nod, he smiles.
There's nothing but beautiful landscape pictures piled up in a wooden box as his luggage. Those beautiful memories he has been keeping so deep inside now only have the chance to be displayed in the vivid sunlight of a brand new start.
He does have a promise to fulfill. He's going to see the world, if only the world is still there waiting for him.
---
Up on this bridge, I am gazing in the direction of your house
Even if there's nothing to see,
I'm feeling happy and hurting and regretting
Even if the future we imagined is changing just like the scenery of this town
It's alright...
My dreams in my right hand, offering you the luxury around the world in the left one
Other than these two things, I wished nothing else
Yet since when my hands got full
I only gave my best in fulfilling my dreams
That's why, next time my hands get full, I will reach out to you because I wish to see you smile
***
Despite being the isolate island in the North, summer in Hokkaido is the greatest thing he has ever experienced. Lavender fields look like a carpet of blossoms woven into patchwork on the rolling hills, an unbound refreshing purple mixed up with bright vivid colors alternating to no end.
"Are you a tourist?" A voice from behind makes Kazuya turn back.
The man on the lavender field has his long black hair tousled in the wind, sharp brows, bright eyes and the warmest smile in the world.
Kazuya smiles in return. "Un. And you? A photographer?" He speaks as he points to the camera in the man's hands, a digital one, simple and black. "I thought this model is quite old fashioned already."
The man follows his look towards the said object and breaks out a grin. "You're right. I like it because it's quite special."
"And how special is it?" Kazuya asks.
"Present from a friend." The man shrugs. "He somehow literally pushed it into my hands and gave me orders."
"Orders?"
"Yes. As in commands. Go and see the world on behalf of me! That's what he said."
The man gazes at him directly and Kazuya suddenly forgets how to breathe. The gap between the big front teeth is no longer there, the orange hair is no longer there but he still resembles the shining sun of Hokkaido in a bright summer day, right on this purple lavender field.
"We also run a hostel down the road." The man says again after the long pause. "If you've just come and have no place to go yet… You know… Anyway, I'm Jin. Jin Akanishi. Don't even dare to forget it!" He holds out his hand. Tone stresses long on his given name suggestively. It's been such a long time for Kazuya to hear that familiar sound again.
The younger catches his hand mildly, "I'm Kamenashi Kazuya. It's Kamenashi Kazuya. Even if it sounds so long and funny, please do remember it correctly!", and feels water waving in his eyes.
---
Up on this bridge, there's a feeling between us like
We have seen the same moonlight
Remembering, feeling pained, becoming stronger
Dreams don't stop here, if just the scenery of this town is changing
It's alright…
---
"And here I thought you had long forgotten me."
"While I'm here wondering if you would ever come in the first place?"
.THE END