11:43am - 12:17pm 12/18/06
O.K., so nothing note-worthy really happened. I just don't like this guy Phil. He's an old guy, I think he must be in his 60's. When he talks about anything, he'll go over a situation that has happened to him. He makes me think of Grandpa Simpson on "The Simpsons."
"I remember this one time... Back when I was younger... etc. etc." Very annoying. And very less intelligent than I am. All he does is share his little anecdotes. His anecdotes aren't very good.
Karin hasn't had a good day. She's been crying a lot - I think Phil promotes it a bit with his provoking questions. And now he's telling a boring story again.
My meds hit me a little bit now. I'm a little more awake, and with my alertness comes a renewed sense of self-intelligence. Also with that, I want to go kill myself some other way. I have my belt during the day, and I figured out how to kill myself with it. I might do that later today. As I said, I'm ready for it. I really wanted to see the treatment team earlier today, but I'm resolved to kill myself anyways. I just want to die!! I know that it's due to a chemical imbalance, but that doesn't change my mood!! I have to make sure it's done right, or I might get put in seclusion and then I wouldn't have a chance at all. Also, I wouldn't be able to see my father and Lizz. Hmm I think I'll just stick to self-strangulation a little bit. I'll kill myself after I say goodbye to Lizz and my dad.
Aww... Everyone else is going to the cafeteria for lunch now... I'm stuck here on the unit; "CO/RTU" is what's posted by my name. That means "close observation/restrict to unit." Everyone else has "RT/ACC" by their names, which means "routine accompaniment."
So that sucks for me. I could lie and say I wasn't suicidal, but I do understand that it's a chemical imbalance. Weird though... Why don't I just lie? Ah ha, because then I wouldn't be getting the treatment I need. That's why I won't lie. One part of my brain wants me to be fixed, the other part doesn't. Both parts agree when it comes to suicide though. Interesting how that's divided though.
I really wish I could go outside though... I haven't been outside at all in the last four days, so that kind of sucks. Even prisoners get to go out 15 minutes a day, I think. But, I guess it doesn't bother me that much, or I'd say more about it.
Close observation doesn't seem very close to me. I think I get about the same observation as others on the unit. Even though most of them will/have go/gone home today.
I was just looking around the room and saw a "patient's right's" thing. One of the things I have a right for is the right to know my treatment plan. I don't know what my plan is, which is why I'm not too happy right now. On the poster is a number to call if you're not getting your rights. I'm going to call it.
"I remember this one time... Back when I was younger... etc. etc." Very annoying. And very less intelligent than I am. All he does is share his little anecdotes. His anecdotes aren't very good.
Karin hasn't had a good day. She's been crying a lot - I think Phil promotes it a bit with his provoking questions. And now he's telling a boring story again.
My meds hit me a little bit now. I'm a little more awake, and with my alertness comes a renewed sense of self-intelligence. Also with that, I want to go kill myself some other way. I have my belt during the day, and I figured out how to kill myself with it. I might do that later today. As I said, I'm ready for it. I really wanted to see the treatment team earlier today, but I'm resolved to kill myself anyways. I just want to die!! I know that it's due to a chemical imbalance, but that doesn't change my mood!! I have to make sure it's done right, or I might get put in seclusion and then I wouldn't have a chance at all. Also, I wouldn't be able to see my father and Lizz. Hmm I think I'll just stick to self-strangulation a little bit. I'll kill myself after I say goodbye to Lizz and my dad.
Aww... Everyone else is going to the cafeteria for lunch now... I'm stuck here on the unit; "CO/RTU" is what's posted by my name. That means "close observation/restrict to unit." Everyone else has "RT/ACC" by their names, which means "routine accompaniment."
So that sucks for me. I could lie and say I wasn't suicidal, but I do understand that it's a chemical imbalance. Weird though... Why don't I just lie? Ah ha, because then I wouldn't be getting the treatment I need. That's why I won't lie. One part of my brain wants me to be fixed, the other part doesn't. Both parts agree when it comes to suicide though. Interesting how that's divided though.
I really wish I could go outside though... I haven't been outside at all in the last four days, so that kind of sucks. Even prisoners get to go out 15 minutes a day, I think. But, I guess it doesn't bother me that much, or I'd say more about it.
Close observation doesn't seem very close to me. I think I get about the same observation as others on the unit. Even though most of them will/have go/gone home today.
I was just looking around the room and saw a "patient's right's" thing. One of the things I have a right for is the right to know my treatment plan. I don't know what my plan is, which is why I'm not too happy right now. On the poster is a number to call if you're not getting your rights. I'm going to call it.