Growth is frustrating
Sometimes growth is frustrating. I am in a period of rapid and deep growth, and I find myself having a very hard time having compassion for myself. I wonder sometimes how I can teach when I seem to have to so little patience, especially with myself.
Last week I was supposed to chant for 5 minutes per day. That seemed a simple assignment, but it was apparently more or less beyond my ability to commit to. I love to chant, but I do not really enjoy chanting just a name and that was the assignment. I'm not sure what exactly was/is driving my resistance, but I felt like the proverbial horse - you could drag me to water, but I certainly couldn't make myself drink.
New week, new work, and new Work...some of the Work I need to will rock my foundations, and I'm not happy about it. Oh wait, I don't have strong foundations to begin with! That's what I'm working on right now: building foundations to replace the crumbling and dysfunctional foundations of my childhood, new structures that will take me forward from this point, here and now.
Last week I was supposed to chant for 5 minutes per day. That seemed a simple assignment, but it was apparently more or less beyond my ability to commit to. I love to chant, but I do not really enjoy chanting just a name and that was the assignment. I'm not sure what exactly was/is driving my resistance, but I felt like the proverbial horse - you could drag me to water, but I certainly couldn't make myself drink.
New week, new work, and new Work...some of the Work I need to will rock my foundations, and I'm not happy about it. Oh wait, I don't have strong foundations to begin with! That's what I'm working on right now: building foundations to replace the crumbling and dysfunctional foundations of my childhood, new structures that will take me forward from this point, here and now.