Too Much
Once upon a time, I was being mentored by the President of my college, Dr. DeMille. The only trouble was it didn't work out so well. Our personalities didn't quite mesh as they should have. I'm fairly sure it's because I was treating him like a military commander, when my sense of humor might have been more useful in dealing with his character. Patton, he ain't.
I gave it up and moved on. I got my degree, got married, and just assumed that would be it. It shouldn't be too hard to step out of the student phase and just veg as most people do. Right? Sure. Two years later, I've finally drawn the conclusions to my 15 year analysis of the trends of literature, and they were not happy conclusions. The fact these conclusions aren't happy has to do with the fact I'm a writer, and I've finally figured out what it would take to be a success. Unfortunately, I also figured out what it would take to be "great," and the two have nothing to do with each other.
There is no "great" fiction in me. Not fantasy, not general fiction, nada. I have nothing to add to the genera. Which leaves me the depressing alternative of non-fiction. If I want to make money, I should become a fantasy author, and gain a cult. But if I want my writing to make a difference, I'm going to have to write about what matters.
Insert a few epiphanies about why I am the way I am, and how I think. Mull. I figure out I should probably be working with the concept of philosophy (as the art of thinking), as it is something I've found to be fairly unique to me, therefore something new I can share with the world. If you've gotten this far, you know what I'm talking about is complicated, and this particular portion even more so. I'm not going to try to explain now. Maybe later.
The only trouble with wanting to not just study philosophy, but become a philosopher, is you should never, under any circumstances, go to a traditional university to learn it. It's like going to a western doctor for advice on herbs. They think they're qualified, but when you walk out of there you'll have a prescription for chemicals with four warning labels, and no understanding of how the herbs might have helped you. So if I'm not going to go to a respectable college for this education, I better find an alternative.
Alternatives.
1) Find a philosopher. Be mentored.
2) Try to figure it all out from the clues the old philosophers left. Map your own education, and pursue it. Hope you pick it up on the journey.
Trouble with alternative 1 is the fact the last known people I would qualify as "real" philosophers (and not just some non-sense spouting egotist) are C.S. Lewis, and Will Rogers. And Will Rogers makes the cut by accident! Either way, they're both dead. So is most of the philosophy which actually taught us anything.
All I have left is the choice to make my own education. I would need help with that. The only man I know who looked at the universities and decided their educations weren't enough, and paved his own education, is Dr. DeMille.
On this already hectic Saturday, I asked him, and he told me to email him. He said he wasn't a philosopher, but he could help me. I can spew out seven pages worth of a blog in minutes, but that seven line email took me an hour. I sent it out, and am now hunkering down to wait. I hate wait.
And so it begins, ladies and gentleman. I'm a presumptive egotist out to do something worth while in my life. I've done the uncomfortable thing, and I've set my foot on a very long and hard path. My only goal is not be more presumptive and egotistical at the end of it.
I gave it up and moved on. I got my degree, got married, and just assumed that would be it. It shouldn't be too hard to step out of the student phase and just veg as most people do. Right? Sure. Two years later, I've finally drawn the conclusions to my 15 year analysis of the trends of literature, and they were not happy conclusions. The fact these conclusions aren't happy has to do with the fact I'm a writer, and I've finally figured out what it would take to be a success. Unfortunately, I also figured out what it would take to be "great," and the two have nothing to do with each other.
There is no "great" fiction in me. Not fantasy, not general fiction, nada. I have nothing to add to the genera. Which leaves me the depressing alternative of non-fiction. If I want to make money, I should become a fantasy author, and gain a cult. But if I want my writing to make a difference, I'm going to have to write about what matters.
Insert a few epiphanies about why I am the way I am, and how I think. Mull. I figure out I should probably be working with the concept of philosophy (as the art of thinking), as it is something I've found to be fairly unique to me, therefore something new I can share with the world. If you've gotten this far, you know what I'm talking about is complicated, and this particular portion even more so. I'm not going to try to explain now. Maybe later.
The only trouble with wanting to not just study philosophy, but become a philosopher, is you should never, under any circumstances, go to a traditional university to learn it. It's like going to a western doctor for advice on herbs. They think they're qualified, but when you walk out of there you'll have a prescription for chemicals with four warning labels, and no understanding of how the herbs might have helped you. So if I'm not going to go to a respectable college for this education, I better find an alternative.
Alternatives.
1) Find a philosopher. Be mentored.
2) Try to figure it all out from the clues the old philosophers left. Map your own education, and pursue it. Hope you pick it up on the journey.
Trouble with alternative 1 is the fact the last known people I would qualify as "real" philosophers (and not just some non-sense spouting egotist) are C.S. Lewis, and Will Rogers. And Will Rogers makes the cut by accident! Either way, they're both dead. So is most of the philosophy which actually taught us anything.
All I have left is the choice to make my own education. I would need help with that. The only man I know who looked at the universities and decided their educations weren't enough, and paved his own education, is Dr. DeMille.
On this already hectic Saturday, I asked him, and he told me to email him. He said he wasn't a philosopher, but he could help me. I can spew out seven pages worth of a blog in minutes, but that seven line email took me an hour. I sent it out, and am now hunkering down to wait. I hate wait.
And so it begins, ladies and gentleman. I'm a presumptive egotist out to do something worth while in my life. I've done the uncomfortable thing, and I've set my foot on a very long and hard path. My only goal is not be more presumptive and egotistical at the end of it.