(no subject)
Untitled - Daniel Serrano 10/3/05
how did i not see this coming
i must be blind
it was right in front of me
did i blind myself?
i blame myself
that's for sure
i always do this
when you're blindfolded
you don't see the firing squad
all you can do
is feel the pain
inside your chest
it's happened before
so many times
if i look back
i regret my mistakes
but if i don't look back
i never learn from them
are they my mistakes?
did i bring this upon myself?
i must have
perhaps i care too much
perhaps i'm too nice
maybe i should just be
a typical guy
like the rest
screw the formalities
forget about respect
and while i'm at it
why not shave my head?
that's right, i can't do it
i can't change who i am
because i don't want to
i'm a good person
i'm unique
they say if you hear it enough
you'll start to believe it
am i really so special?
what sets me apart?
my respect for the wishes of others?
is it the formalities?
is it the "please"'s and "thank you"'s?
is it the way i treat others?
is it the way i treat myself?
i don't care
it's the way i am
i am who i am
the funny thing is...i adapt to others
i meet people's needs
i make people happy
i'm a people-pleaser
unfortunately to most
that just means i'm
easy to take advantage of
so when do i get to meet
someone who won't take advantage of me?
someone who won't hurt me
because they know they can?
where is this person?
or is it just a figment of my imagination
that such a person could exist?
i keep hope
i pray that i'll be found
"there's someone for everyone" right?
i guess we'll just see
until then, i'll play solitaire
being alone never used to hurt me
not as much as it does now
cold, calculative, and logical
that's how i used to be
until my walls came tumbling down
am i be glad they did?
should i be glad they did?
or should i build them once again?
trusting only myself
cool, calm, and calculative
a long time ago, i heard that
once an icy heart is melted
it can never be frozen again
shall i test that theory?
a lot of people would be sad
but would i be happy?
or would my caring nature
bring me back to sadness?
caring too much
being too nice
walked on all over again
that's another topic
for another day
right now, the question is
who can i trust?
who can i love?
perhaps the real question is
can i trust?
can i love?
do i deserve this thing called love?
i guess not
i just don't see it
i'm romantic
i'm caring
i'm smart
i'm kind
and ironically, i am humble
so what's wrong with me?
i wish i knew
everyone else does
so where do i go from here?
shall i rebuild my walls?
shall i take my sword and shield
in my hands once again?
or shall i wait and hope
i guess we'll just see
i really don't know
not yet at least
maybe down the road i'll be happy
it could happen tomorrow
it could happen next week
it could happen a year from now
i really don't care
as long as i can be happy
and stay that way
What can I say? I just closed my eyes and typed what came to mind. I haven't looked back at what I wrote, not even to proofread. Oh well. Now you guys have a little more insight as to how I think. Don't worry...I'm not always like this. It's just gotten to the point where I felt like writing about it. I took a MySpace survey yesterday. It asked if I ever wrote poems. My response was, "When I have a subject that motivates me to write." Yes, I know it's not "poetry." It's prose. I don't care what it's called. I call it "my feelings put into words." I'm going to bed. Oyasumi.
how did i not see this coming
i must be blind
it was right in front of me
did i blind myself?
i blame myself
that's for sure
i always do this
when you're blindfolded
you don't see the firing squad
all you can do
is feel the pain
inside your chest
it's happened before
so many times
if i look back
i regret my mistakes
but if i don't look back
i never learn from them
are they my mistakes?
did i bring this upon myself?
i must have
perhaps i care too much
perhaps i'm too nice
maybe i should just be
a typical guy
like the rest
screw the formalities
forget about respect
and while i'm at it
why not shave my head?
that's right, i can't do it
i can't change who i am
because i don't want to
i'm a good person
i'm unique
they say if you hear it enough
you'll start to believe it
am i really so special?
what sets me apart?
my respect for the wishes of others?
is it the formalities?
is it the "please"'s and "thank you"'s?
is it the way i treat others?
is it the way i treat myself?
i don't care
it's the way i am
i am who i am
the funny thing is...i adapt to others
i meet people's needs
i make people happy
i'm a people-pleaser
unfortunately to most
that just means i'm
easy to take advantage of
so when do i get to meet
someone who won't take advantage of me?
someone who won't hurt me
because they know they can?
where is this person?
or is it just a figment of my imagination
that such a person could exist?
i keep hope
i pray that i'll be found
"there's someone for everyone" right?
i guess we'll just see
until then, i'll play solitaire
being alone never used to hurt me
not as much as it does now
cold, calculative, and logical
that's how i used to be
until my walls came tumbling down
am i be glad they did?
should i be glad they did?
or should i build them once again?
trusting only myself
cool, calm, and calculative
a long time ago, i heard that
once an icy heart is melted
it can never be frozen again
shall i test that theory?
a lot of people would be sad
but would i be happy?
or would my caring nature
bring me back to sadness?
caring too much
being too nice
walked on all over again
that's another topic
for another day
right now, the question is
who can i trust?
who can i love?
perhaps the real question is
can i trust?
can i love?
do i deserve this thing called love?
i guess not
i just don't see it
i'm romantic
i'm caring
i'm smart
i'm kind
and ironically, i am humble
so what's wrong with me?
i wish i knew
everyone else does
so where do i go from here?
shall i rebuild my walls?
shall i take my sword and shield
in my hands once again?
or shall i wait and hope
i guess we'll just see
i really don't know
not yet at least
maybe down the road i'll be happy
it could happen tomorrow
it could happen next week
it could happen a year from now
i really don't care
as long as i can be happy
and stay that way
What can I say? I just closed my eyes and typed what came to mind. I haven't looked back at what I wrote, not even to proofread. Oh well. Now you guys have a little more insight as to how I think. Don't worry...I'm not always like this. It's just gotten to the point where I felt like writing about it. I took a MySpace survey yesterday. It asked if I ever wrote poems. My response was, "When I have a subject that motivates me to write." Yes, I know it's not "poetry." It's prose. I don't care what it's called. I call it "my feelings put into words." I'm going to bed. Oyasumi.