ismail, you idiot.
ismail, you idiot.
these words keep flashing in my mind anytime i think of him-and his departure to romania on sunday night.
it was a tenseful night, as i managed to get the car when supposedly i couldn't, then there was lotsa mix ups and change of plans on how some of are getting to KLIA to see him off. somehow i had a lot of fear in me, because the last time i drove when i was tense.. well, let's just say it didn't turn out very well for the car. from subang, i rushed to prav's house to get ismail's corduroys, and picked praveen and lina up from ERL in putra. missed a turning which made me spend unnecessary time and petrol, because of the hard rain which almost totally blinded me from my road. dahla masa tu rush gila, ismail had to be there by 9 pm, and it was already, what, close to 10 when i picked them up at ERL. but ismail was rushed to KLIA with em's car, with ben. and naturally em was speeding again, hitting 150km/ph.
not only was i tense, racing against time, and fighting hard for my vision through the rain; the car's oil tank was drying up. what dyou expect, driving from subang to sepang highway starting with close to zero petrol. as the fuel warning showed up again and again, i prayed hard to Alllah to pleeassseee make this journey as safe and convenient as possible, however way He might make it. and i was blessed to have reached the Petronas station before the car dying out. filled in RM50 worth of petrol, which filled 3/4 of the tank.
reached KLIA at 10.35pm ish. legs felt trembly and back was tense. congregated and signed the NIKE football we were to give ismail as a going away present. he was having trouble with the luggage, couldn't bring as much as expected. ismail's dad was there, trying to sort out everything. lina presented the ball to ismail and he "awww"ed and "you guys suuuccckkk"ed and some speechlessness. i was really glad he liked it, because ismail has told me before that he never liked receiving presents.
goofed around for a while, his flight was 1 am. he belanja-ed me a KFC fish burger. soon it was time and we said our goodbyes. all of us hugged him. it was like sending off a precious brother. the only way i could console myself is to tell myself that i'll meet him soon.
none of us, except lina, was teary eyed at all before he went through the gates, but soon we were chasing him and overlooking him through glass windows, waving, and running, and waving, and running, and waving, and running.. soon we couldn't follow him anymore. and soon he disappeared beyond the concrete walls. we stood there, standing against the glass windows for a while. soon we tears started running down our cheeks. mine fell silently. as for lina and praveen, well. all of us knew that he's irreplaceable. and now he's going to be very very far for a very very long time.
drove back, decided to make a stop at P9 mamak. on the way, em who drove beside me wound down his windows and prav told lina and i to call ismail. apparently he was still able to make calls. lina talked to him first, and i followed up. and then back to lina, and then he finally broke down. i was surprised that he did because ismail said he's used to all this going away shit.
as all of us sit down at the mamak, the air was heavy, some of us had puffy red eyes. and some of us munched onto ismail's forgotten sandwich. praveen took a smoke away from the mamak and didn't return until we called him back.
in hostel, as i photoshopped as always, and listening to favourite songs of the past 3 weeks, remioromen-3gatsu9ka, thoughts went thruogh my head and something hit- and the next thing you know a river came flowing like never before. it's good that i was able to cry silently, none of the boo-hoo type, as my roommate was in, though i had my back facing her, who was on the bed.
he's the best younger brother i've ever had. and he always will be.
ismail.
you idiot.
these words keep flashing in my mind anytime i think of him-and his departure to romania on sunday night.
it was a tenseful night, as i managed to get the car when supposedly i couldn't, then there was lotsa mix ups and change of plans on how some of are getting to KLIA to see him off. somehow i had a lot of fear in me, because the last time i drove when i was tense.. well, let's just say it didn't turn out very well for the car. from subang, i rushed to prav's house to get ismail's corduroys, and picked praveen and lina up from ERL in putra. missed a turning which made me spend unnecessary time and petrol, because of the hard rain which almost totally blinded me from my road. dahla masa tu rush gila, ismail had to be there by 9 pm, and it was already, what, close to 10 when i picked them up at ERL. but ismail was rushed to KLIA with em's car, with ben. and naturally em was speeding again, hitting 150km/ph.
not only was i tense, racing against time, and fighting hard for my vision through the rain; the car's oil tank was drying up. what dyou expect, driving from subang to sepang highway starting with close to zero petrol. as the fuel warning showed up again and again, i prayed hard to Alllah to pleeassseee make this journey as safe and convenient as possible, however way He might make it. and i was blessed to have reached the Petronas station before the car dying out. filled in RM50 worth of petrol, which filled 3/4 of the tank.
reached KLIA at 10.35pm ish. legs felt trembly and back was tense. congregated and signed the NIKE football we were to give ismail as a going away present. he was having trouble with the luggage, couldn't bring as much as expected. ismail's dad was there, trying to sort out everything. lina presented the ball to ismail and he "awww"ed and "you guys suuuccckkk"ed and some speechlessness. i was really glad he liked it, because ismail has told me before that he never liked receiving presents.
goofed around for a while, his flight was 1 am. he belanja-ed me a KFC fish burger. soon it was time and we said our goodbyes. all of us hugged him. it was like sending off a precious brother. the only way i could console myself is to tell myself that i'll meet him soon.
none of us, except lina, was teary eyed at all before he went through the gates, but soon we were chasing him and overlooking him through glass windows, waving, and running, and waving, and running, and waving, and running.. soon we couldn't follow him anymore. and soon he disappeared beyond the concrete walls. we stood there, standing against the glass windows for a while. soon we tears started running down our cheeks. mine fell silently. as for lina and praveen, well. all of us knew that he's irreplaceable. and now he's going to be very very far for a very very long time.
drove back, decided to make a stop at P9 mamak. on the way, em who drove beside me wound down his windows and prav told lina and i to call ismail. apparently he was still able to make calls. lina talked to him first, and i followed up. and then back to lina, and then he finally broke down. i was surprised that he did because ismail said he's used to all this going away shit.
as all of us sit down at the mamak, the air was heavy, some of us had puffy red eyes. and some of us munched onto ismail's forgotten sandwich. praveen took a smoke away from the mamak and didn't return until we called him back.
in hostel, as i photoshopped as always, and listening to favourite songs of the past 3 weeks, remioromen-3gatsu9ka, thoughts went thruogh my head and something hit- and the next thing you know a river came flowing like never before. it's good that i was able to cry silently, none of the boo-hoo type, as my roommate was in, though i had my back facing her, who was on the bed.
he's the best younger brother i've ever had. and he always will be.
ismail.
you idiot.