but we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies...
2007 - a maverick year of change and discovery. I don't think preceding years were ever this exciting, bizarre, complex, sad, and enjoyable. I never fathomed the experiences and changes I went through this year...
I was fully out of high school. finally. With this place/time behind me I closed many doors. Burned plenty bridges. Deviated from past labels. I didn't reinvent myself by any means but I definitely enjoyed this fresh start. Leaving high school and moving 350 miles away has shown me a lot. I've seen which people were worth the effort, or who have made the efforts to stay close. With great dismay i've lost connections with certain people while other bonds have strengthened considerably. i've finally relinquished old problems, old qualms, old ghosts. I moved on…
college is real. every waking day is inspiring. so much to delve into, explore, do, say, think, feel, drink, smoke, taste, experience, love, try for the first time.. or maybe a second. i never imagined all the twisted fun embedded within these redwoods. the incredible friends and all the magic we've found in this town- its antics, the art, the music, the knowledge, the politics and activism, my classes, the unending night time activities, all the wonderful organic shit, the trees. I've just been absorbing it all one day at a time…
I learned to be more discerning. About people. About situations. About my feelings. Mostly about what to invest myself into. Which people. Which Situations. I learned when to pick my battles I guess. What things to take seriously, what things to allow myself to get upset and worked up over. I stopped scouring for reasons behind why things happened or didn't work out. Sometimes people are just not worth exerting yourself over. Sometimes you have to let it be.
I entertained the thought of making another big move. I considered a huge change in college setting. And while I was consumed by this possibility for the majority of last spring, i do not for a second regret not going. i must have dissected every pro and con. every angle. every little detail. It was overkill I admit. But i learned to reconcile. the problem wasn't santa cruz as much as it was me. If I didn't ultimately make the effort to be happy I won't be anywhere, at any school. I almost transplanted myself from the place that most resembles home for me now. Sure I sometimes wish football games and frat row were feasible here but I've finally found where I belong :)
I explored people on my own whim. And sometimes against the advice of others. I chose to look past rumors, flaws, alleged indiscretions, hearsay and just went for it. I think its safe to say im most happy about this. I would've painfully regretted not doing so. And most definitely would've missed out on a lot of riveting people and good good times.
I slowed down. I stopped and smelled the fucking flowers. I looked around and fostered unprecedented interests such as environmental law … and whiskey. I did extremely well this past quarter. academically, socially. i managed to do some serious damage to my liver and still pull off a 3.85 … not too shabby. I've finally found what intrigues me and what I hope to do for the rest of my life.
I stopped shutting people out. I'm much more open. I'm not an angry person anymore. I see my psych less frequently now, and when I do we discuss more than the sordid shit in this life. I stopped taking my medication and living fine without it. For the first time in years I'm truly happy with where I am.
In 2007 I stayed the same. I'm still awkward. I procrastinate. I'm still sexually frustrated. I still drive way too fast. I still hold a strong penchant for spicy foods, fast cars, guys who play guitar and nicholas cage movies. The dudes on the discovery channel still make me horny. I'm still coy. I'm still trying to figure it all out.
i have so much in store and plenty to look forward to. i'm starting a brand new quarter. new season of Lost. i'm creating a major. new batman movie in june. entirely new people to encounter. i'm traveling to Israel this summer. applying for law internships. Starting a new leadership position at school. I'm choosing where to study abroad junior year- London? Melbourne? Cape Town? Rome? And turning 20 this year. Now that's just daunting.
as for resolutions? maybe showing up to places on time? try cursing less? i've been more inclined to practice profanity than punctuality so maybe not. with that said i resolve to just... continue the fervor. continue the shenanigans. To break my patterns, delete my fucking myspace account. to continue growing up and enjoying it.
to laugh, dance, live and love. Whether alone or together. But its always better together :D
I was fully out of high school. finally. With this place/time behind me I closed many doors. Burned plenty bridges. Deviated from past labels. I didn't reinvent myself by any means but I definitely enjoyed this fresh start. Leaving high school and moving 350 miles away has shown me a lot. I've seen which people were worth the effort, or who have made the efforts to stay close. With great dismay i've lost connections with certain people while other bonds have strengthened considerably. i've finally relinquished old problems, old qualms, old ghosts. I moved on…
college is real. every waking day is inspiring. so much to delve into, explore, do, say, think, feel, drink, smoke, taste, experience, love, try for the first time.. or maybe a second. i never imagined all the twisted fun embedded within these redwoods. the incredible friends and all the magic we've found in this town- its antics, the art, the music, the knowledge, the politics and activism, my classes, the unending night time activities, all the wonderful organic shit, the trees. I've just been absorbing it all one day at a time…
I learned to be more discerning. About people. About situations. About my feelings. Mostly about what to invest myself into. Which people. Which Situations. I learned when to pick my battles I guess. What things to take seriously, what things to allow myself to get upset and worked up over. I stopped scouring for reasons behind why things happened or didn't work out. Sometimes people are just not worth exerting yourself over. Sometimes you have to let it be.
I entertained the thought of making another big move. I considered a huge change in college setting. And while I was consumed by this possibility for the majority of last spring, i do not for a second regret not going. i must have dissected every pro and con. every angle. every little detail. It was overkill I admit. But i learned to reconcile. the problem wasn't santa cruz as much as it was me. If I didn't ultimately make the effort to be happy I won't be anywhere, at any school. I almost transplanted myself from the place that most resembles home for me now. Sure I sometimes wish football games and frat row were feasible here but I've finally found where I belong :)
I explored people on my own whim. And sometimes against the advice of others. I chose to look past rumors, flaws, alleged indiscretions, hearsay and just went for it. I think its safe to say im most happy about this. I would've painfully regretted not doing so. And most definitely would've missed out on a lot of riveting people and good good times.
I slowed down. I stopped and smelled the fucking flowers. I looked around and fostered unprecedented interests such as environmental law … and whiskey. I did extremely well this past quarter. academically, socially. i managed to do some serious damage to my liver and still pull off a 3.85 … not too shabby. I've finally found what intrigues me and what I hope to do for the rest of my life.
I stopped shutting people out. I'm much more open. I'm not an angry person anymore. I see my psych less frequently now, and when I do we discuss more than the sordid shit in this life. I stopped taking my medication and living fine without it. For the first time in years I'm truly happy with where I am.
In 2007 I stayed the same. I'm still awkward. I procrastinate. I'm still sexually frustrated. I still drive way too fast. I still hold a strong penchant for spicy foods, fast cars, guys who play guitar and nicholas cage movies. The dudes on the discovery channel still make me horny. I'm still coy. I'm still trying to figure it all out.
i have so much in store and plenty to look forward to. i'm starting a brand new quarter. new season of Lost. i'm creating a major. new batman movie in june. entirely new people to encounter. i'm traveling to Israel this summer. applying for law internships. Starting a new leadership position at school. I'm choosing where to study abroad junior year- London? Melbourne? Cape Town? Rome? And turning 20 this year. Now that's just daunting.
as for resolutions? maybe showing up to places on time? try cursing less? i've been more inclined to practice profanity than punctuality so maybe not. with that said i resolve to just... continue the fervor. continue the shenanigans. To break my patterns, delete my fucking myspace account. to continue growing up and enjoying it.
to laugh, dance, live and love. Whether alone or together. But its always better together :D