flat tires
nothing like mercury retrograde kicking in at the perfect time and place: midnight on the bay bridge. this instance involving a blown front tire on our trusty honda. cars zooming by and honking, frantic calls to 911 and the highway patrol, all this amidst the pretty downtown SF skyline and the frigid bay water below. thankfully, we were calm enough to limp our poor vehicle out the first exit, and park somewhere relatively safe. of course, it took forever to reach AAA, then took forever for the tow truck to finally get to us. then there was the small issue of my expired membership card, the spare tire that hadn't been used as long as we'd owned the car, and some metal from the busted tire that sliced my thumb real nice. but hey, all said and done, the tire got replaced, and we got home in one piece.
my last show of 2007 was friday night. if i could do it all over again, i probably would not have scheduled it. the timing was bad (just did a show in SF 5 days before), and it was not the best location for a december show (COLD!). not a great turnout. only a couple of my friends even came. i was kinda sad, but i don't blame anyone for staying in. regardless, i put it all out there for the few folks that attended. felt kinda lonely, but i wasn't by myself. mikey and enoch and elemnop did their thang. hopefully we can do something there when the weather is warmer.
i really need to get on this album. thing is, though i love the beats i've gotten so far, i haven't found that one or two or three beats that will define the album. the 'heavy hitters.' i've got a lot of complimentary beats. a lot of steve kerrs but no jordans. i guess i need to be more proactive in my search.
for whatever reason, i feel so much more comfortable knocking out verses for other people shit, but can't seem to find a zone when working on my own shit. i worry a bit about it, cause this whole jackin' for beats thing is getting kinda old for me. seeing blue scholars perform, and seeing how people reacted as soon as sabzi's beats came on... that's so pure. so raw. whereas i'm starting to feel like i'm just stealing a response from the crowd, as opposed to really working and earning it. i can't help but really want that. i often worry that i won't ever find it.
i feel alone. i feel like i put in so much work for the community, that i've sacrificed so much to represent our face on a cultural level, but don't really receive that support in return. at least not in the way or the magnitude that i feel i deserve to receive it. i straight get overlooked. i've had to resort to booking my own damn shows for goodness sake. i design my own damn flyers, print my own damn tshirts. i market and promote my own shit. i wonder if i'll ever just be a musician. i feel selfish and arrogant for thinking that way, but fuck it.
my last show of 2007 was friday night. if i could do it all over again, i probably would not have scheduled it. the timing was bad (just did a show in SF 5 days before), and it was not the best location for a december show (COLD!). not a great turnout. only a couple of my friends even came. i was kinda sad, but i don't blame anyone for staying in. regardless, i put it all out there for the few folks that attended. felt kinda lonely, but i wasn't by myself. mikey and enoch and elemnop did their thang. hopefully we can do something there when the weather is warmer.
i really need to get on this album. thing is, though i love the beats i've gotten so far, i haven't found that one or two or three beats that will define the album. the 'heavy hitters.' i've got a lot of complimentary beats. a lot of steve kerrs but no jordans. i guess i need to be more proactive in my search.
for whatever reason, i feel so much more comfortable knocking out verses for other people shit, but can't seem to find a zone when working on my own shit. i worry a bit about it, cause this whole jackin' for beats thing is getting kinda old for me. seeing blue scholars perform, and seeing how people reacted as soon as sabzi's beats came on... that's so pure. so raw. whereas i'm starting to feel like i'm just stealing a response from the crowd, as opposed to really working and earning it. i can't help but really want that. i often worry that i won't ever find it.
i feel alone. i feel like i put in so much work for the community, that i've sacrificed so much to represent our face on a cultural level, but don't really receive that support in return. at least not in the way or the magnitude that i feel i deserve to receive it. i straight get overlooked. i've had to resort to booking my own damn shows for goodness sake. i design my own damn flyers, print my own damn tshirts. i market and promote my own shit. i wonder if i'll ever just be a musician. i feel selfish and arrogant for thinking that way, but fuck it.