Where do I start
I'm in the library with my boyfriend right now. He's on his phone, my laptop is running out of battery. I'm anxious 'cause it's just 2 more months till I graduate and I have an exam tomorrow that I don't know how to study for. I still have to register for my third minor and I haven't registered to graduate yet. I look back to last year and the year before and the year before and I always wish I did better, treated people I love differently... better.... cared for them more. But Every time I think about school, wishing I did better, my friends... my family... Andrew... I realize... I really don't care. of course I would care if I lost people I love... but I guess... how should I put this... I don't care enough to change.
Don't get me wrong, I'd be devastated to lost anybody. But i don't care about myself enough is I guess what I'm trying to say? I don't care enough for myself to get hurt... I don't care if my friends leave me knowing I did bad things to them. Mostly because I know I would not have deserved to have amazing people in my lives. Does that make sense?
School... oh school... I don't know what to do with my future. I have no future at this point. My back is in just too much pain for me to do anything in the criminal justice field. Ugh.UGH. UGGGHHH.
What do I do guys.. WHAT DO I FUCKING DO.
Don't get me wrong, I'd be devastated to lost anybody. But i don't care about myself enough is I guess what I'm trying to say? I don't care enough for myself to get hurt... I don't care if my friends leave me knowing I did bad things to them. Mostly because I know I would not have deserved to have amazing people in my lives. Does that make sense?
School... oh school... I don't know what to do with my future. I have no future at this point. My back is in just too much pain for me to do anything in the criminal justice field. Ugh.UGH. UGGGHHH.
What do I do guys.. WHAT DO I FUCKING DO.