swedish berries.
im not in denial anymore. even though the magic numbers song is telling me that im in denial, i know that im not anymore. the keyword is anymore. im so glad to be done. i feel so relived. so rested. so at peace with everything around me. the last month has been completely hellish. chaotic and un-organized. i was a wreck. both mentally, emotionally and physically. i think it finally caught for with me. i got sick. really sick. and now im recovering from it. i could barely talk, my voice was messed up. i had this horriable hacking cough that wouldnt go away. espeically at night when i would try to sleep, hence the reason why i've been living off 3-4 hours of sleep this past week. its been tough.
i dont know why this past month has been hellish. school has been a big downer. i became really pestimistic towards it and i guess it reflected on alot of thing. but now, i've decided to take it easy. im done stressing over school. and im also done being pestimisitic about it. i have met some really interesting people. i think i have a found a new friend in caleb. i dont know though. we'll see. he lives on a big hill. that is so intriguing. and he works at a library and borrows books from it so he doesnt have to buy books from school. why didnt i think of this? imagine the money i would be saving. gosh.
im also done being emotionally careless. i think thats the word. careless. im exhasuted from feeling the feelings i've been feelings and running on emotional highs for much too long. i've forgotten how peaceful it is to be by myself. i was on robson today, eating sushi and i felt so relaxed. it was a nice feeling. i miss jocelyn. the jocelyn from summer. i hope she comes back soon. i miss her dreadfully.
im looking forward to the weekend. no, i cant say that. i learned the hard way looking relying on my birthday celebration to get me through the week. and everyone knows that it didnt turn out as planned. but..but..im over it. really. i cant let something like that get to me. i did for the 2 days after it. and ick, i dont even want to go back to that stage. it was unpleasent.
so, i've been reborn. im happy right now. im looking forward to start my readings in my two english classes. yes, i have been whining and complaining about those readings, but you know what? i've change my mind. i've opened my mind. there, thats it. my mind is open to new possibilites. so, THROW THEM AT ME!!
not literally though.
because you cant actually throw them, physically, at me.
thats insane.
i didnt know that american apperal didnt do refunds. they do store credit or exhanges. now im stuck with this store credit. what in god's name am i suppose to buy?!
suggestions?