Drama fine

[kiwiontherocks]

So last night. The best and most heart-breaking night of my life to date. I went out with some of the girls to see Toybox, a local cover band. It just happened to be at the the bar where my ex-boyfriend lives. We blew threw the door like TNT and took over the place like we owned it. We were drinking and doing shots and totally getting into it. Dancing and just being silly. It was awesome!! So my 4th or 5th trip to the potty this girl yells to me OMG you're his ex-girlfriend. So great. Now I KNOW they were all talking about me all night. Just what I wanted to hear. And I'm like... what did he say? She says that he was a little pissed that I had the balls to show up. So I fluff my boobs and walk out of the potty like my shit don't stink, walk back up to the bar and chat up a guy to buy me a drink. Nice guy, gave him my phone number. We danced, hugged and I made his friend drive him home. Drunk fucker. When I left, I told Mike that I was sorry that I made him uncomfortable. And walked out. But then, Beth came out and said she didn't get the guy she was dancing with's number and he didn't ask for hers. And I'm like Hell I'm drunk I'll go get it. And went back in and looked for him. She found him first and then Mike comes up to me and is like hey. I'm like hey, how's it going? He said he was drunk and I said I wouldn't expect any less of you. He said something to the effect that I have no right to be sorry, that it's all his fault. And then I said that it should've ended a lot better between us, but I can't be with someone who drinks as much as he does. He said it still could end differently. ... the look on his face when I told him that about the drinking just kills me, but I can't deal with it. Once a week, sure. Sometimes twice a week great. Every night? No effing way. On my way back from the up north I wanted to stop at the bar and be my bad self again, but I don't feel well and I'm tired and kinda cranky. So this sucks. I'm fighting the urge to call him and want him back. I can't do it. I can't.

But I learned today that I lost the drama. I got the closure I needed... he'll never change. I cried, I was bummed. And I realized that the world doesn't revolve around me... my world revolves around my friends. The ones who save my drunk phone calls and let me listen to them later. The ones who buy me tequila and let me get closeure with the ex and then LET me cry myself to sleep... because nothing else would help. The ones who drive my drunk ass home from the bars and makes sure I make it to bed. The ones who tell me everything will be all right. Everyone comes into your life for a reason. Some of those people you don't get to keep so cherish the memory and learn from what they were there to teach you. Here's what I learned from the people I've lost this year. Be true to yourself and don't let others push you around. Don't change for anyone, you'll only end up hurt. Love like you've never been hurt. Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tonight.

I love my life, I love my friends. I couldn't have picked better ones!!!